“Taeyong, don’t do it, please.” Doyoung begs into the phone, I sat next to him on our couch as he talks to his best friend, my hand resting reassuringly on his thigh. Taeyong’s ex-girlfriend Jungwon had messaged him after two months of being broken up. She broke his heart once already and now she was texting him again asking to meet up, saying she missed him.   But Jungwon, she wasn’t after something serious with Taeyong, at least not anymore. She only used him for the night when she was lonely. She didn’t need Taeyong but he didn’t seem to realize that yet. He has thrown himself into her fire twice already in the past two months. She always ends up ignoring him after she gets what she wants.   “You know how she is, Tae.” Doyoung sighs, resting his head back against the couch, his eyes slowly shutting in annoyance.   “Okay, promise me just please don’t text her back tonight.” His eyes pop open, shaking his head. “Alright, bye.” He hangs up letting out a groan as he drops his phone to the side.   “What’s he going to do this time?” I mumble, pulling my hand off of his thigh now that the stressful call was over with.   “I don’t know,” He lets out a puff of air. “I swear to god if he goes back to her again I’ll...” He trails off shaking his head firmly.   I scoot closer to him resting my head onto his shoulder, “Let’s hope he doesn’t, surely he’s learned from the past two times.”   Doyoung slips an arm around my shoulder, resting his head on top of mine, as he presses play on the movie we were in the middle of when Taeyong had called.   -   Taeyong doesn’t listen to Doyoung and ends up messaging her back that night. That’s how Doyoung and I find ourselves at Taeyong’s apartment the next day. Doyoung is begging Taeyong to not meet up with her and honestly it hurt to see him act so desperately. He really cared for Taeyong and it hurt knowing Doyoung wasn’t feeling happy because Taeyong was in a toxic situation. The boy may not look like it, mainly due to him sometimes wearing resting face proudly, but he cares very deeply for those close to him.   After talking Taeyong down from going to meet with her he takes me aside. “Hey, babe, listen I’m going to stay here tonight to make sure he stays in.”   I smile softly, even though there's disappointment hidden behind it. “Alright, don’t stay up all night.” He leans down pressing a kiss to my temple.   “Bye, love you.” He smiles down at me, seeing me to the door.   When I’m home in the confines of mine and Doyoung's apartment and sitting down on the couch I let out a disappointed sigh. I hated that Doyoung put his own life aside to take care of his friends. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not conceited, I don't expect him to devote all of his time to me, and it’s not a bad thing to help your friends. But Doyoung, he takes it to the extreme.   The last time Taeyong received a message from Jungwon, Doyoung stayed at Taeyong’s place for almost two weeks straight. He didn’t get to come home, he went straight from work to Taeyong’s to make sure he wasn’t making a mistake. And if I was being completely honest, it made me feel inferior to Taeyong. He would solely focus on him, not messaging me that he was alright, or checking in on me, he was too absorbed in making sure Taeyong didn’t look at his phone.   I felt like this was an endless circle of repetitive torture. Jungwon would never stop taunting Taeyong with her messages begging him to come see her. Taeyong would never not give in causing him emotional scars. Doyoung would never not put his own life aside for his best friend. And during that time I would never be able to see my boyfriend.   I felt selfish last time, but this time, I felt annoyed. I thought there would be a longer time interval between these occurrences, but it had only been two weeks since the last time Taeyong found his way into his ex’s bed. Just like the time before, Doyoung, he would stay there until either Taeyong gave in and snuck off to meet with her or until he finally moved on. I swallow my thoughts down my throat, how long would it take this time?   -   Two nights later I’m awaken in the middle of the night by a thud in the kitchen which causes my eyes to snap open. My heart races in my chest as I fling the bedspread off my body. God why did this have to happen whenever Doyoung wasn’t here?   I swallow nervously reaching for my phone and the baseball bat Doyoung kept until the bed for occasions like this if they arose. With the bat and my phone clutched to my chest I set off down the hall, jumping at another thump.   I rush to pull my phone up finding Doyoung’s contact. I click on it and pull the phone to my ear only for it to instantly go to voicemail. My eyes fall to my phone, ing perfect. I duck back into my room dialing my best friend Chaekyung’s number hoping that she would answer.   After several rings I get nervous but finally she answers, a groggy “Hello” comes through the phone.   “Chaekyung, I think someone broke into my apartment.” I bite my lip trying to not cry. “And Doyoung’s not here tonight.”   She clears , instantly sounding more awake and alert, “Oh god, stay on the phone with me!”   I felt a tad bit better with her being on the other side, so I step back into the hall, gripping onto the bat. As I go to step around the corner I run straight into a dark figure.   I let out a low scream dropping my phone, “Stay back!” I hold the bat up putting distance between us.   “Moonyoung, ba-baby.” Doyoung’s voice slurs, causing my eyes to widen. I step forward, the moonlight hiting his face, noticing it is in fact Doyoung.   “Doyoung, what the ?” I grab his arm and am instantly hit with the stench of alcohol.   “Moonyoung.” He says again, I quickly flip the light switch up noticing Taeyong’s scrunched up body passed out on the couch.   I quickly bend down picking up my phone, “Moonyoung! Are you okay? Hello?” Chaekyung is repeating when I've pulled it back to my ear.   “I’m fine, I’m fine, it’s just Doyoung and Taeyong. They’re both drunk off their asses.” I say, my heart beat slowing again.   “Dear god, what the hell were they doing out drinking so late on a Thursday night?” She sighs seeming just as annoyed as I was.   “Probably has to do with Jungwon.”   “Oh god, not her again.”   “Anyways, I’m sorry to wake you up.”   “It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re safe.” She mumbles before bidding me goodbye.   Doyoung leans his head onto my shoulder whining. I roll my eyes at the heaviness he brought upon me. “It’s three in the morning, Kim Doyoung. You scared the living out of me, you piece of .”   I tug him after me, helping him into his pajamas. “I’m mad, and you reek of alcohol, so you’re sleeping in the guest room.”   “I don’t wanna!” He pouts, hands roaming my body more so than his sober-self ever would in this type of situation. When one of them brushes past my I flinch back at the sensation it brings upon it because they have been tender lately. I quickly grip his wrists holding him away from my body.   “I’m serious, Doyoung. I’m not in the mood to deal with this right now.” I huff, tugging him down to the empty bed in the guest room. I leave him there, making sure he’s on his side in the rare occasion that he vomits. Once I’m back in my own bed I rub at the headache that had formed from what had just occurred.   I’m not even in bed for two minutes before I feel the bed dip, Doyoung slipping between the sheets pulling me against him. “Babe.” He presses a kiss onto my forehead when I turn to face him.   “You reek of alcohol, go back to the guest room.” I tell him, rolling back over.   “I don’t wanna, I wanna stay here with you,” He pouts into my back. I don’t argue back with him because it was futile and even though I was mad at him, I did miss his presence.   -   I let out a sigh sitting on the couch the next morning. Doyoung and Taeyong were gone when I woke up. A note was left on the counter apologizing for last night leaving it as the only thing to remind me that they were even here in the first place.   I click my tongue annoyed, but my stomach sinks as my eyes roam over the box that lied on the table in front of me. The box brought a certain feeling of uncertainty when I looked at it. It wasn't something I had ever needed before so seeing it for the first time in person made me extremely nervous. I had been easily and super irritated lately, getting headaches frequently, my s tender, and with the recent realization that my period was two days late it occured to me that maybe I was unnecessarily being irritated with Doyoung.   I swallow nervously picking up the pregnancy test box. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time. God, I take a deep breath opening the box, heading to the bathroom to face my fears.   -   After the third knock, Chaekyung gives up and enters the code to mine and Doyoung’s apartment. She walks in and sighs at seeing me sitting on the couch.   “Why didn’t you answer the door when I knocked if you were right here?” She asks moving to sit down at the opposite end of my couch. My eyes stay closed, hands tightly wrapped around the pregnancy test that I hadn’t been able to look at properly since I took it.   “Moonyoung?” Chaekyung snaps her fingers in front of my face. My eyes flinch open, looking towards her and she immediately knows something is up. “What happened? Why do you look so scared?”   I swallow, biting my lip holding up the test towards her. Her eyes widen, “A pregnancy te-,oh my god, are you pregnant?”   Tears brim at the corners of my eyes, “I don’t know, I haven’t been able to force myself to look yet.”   Her hands move towards mine, slipping the test out of my hands despite the fact that I had peed on it. Her eyes roam towards the results I had been too afraid to look at. Judging from her expression, the way her pupils slightly tremble I got my answer.   “It’s positive.”   Tears finally spill from my eyes.   “Where even is Doyoung? Shouldn’t he be home from work by now?” She sits the test aside. I can’t help it, but the mention of his name causes me to let out a sob. I'm guessing the pregnancy hormones made me feel even more emotional than I already was.   “He didn’t break up with you did he?” She gasps at my reaction, hands grasping onto mine.   “No, he’s at Taeyong’s.” I wipe at my tears trying to get them to stop. I felt pathetic.   “Is he coming home?” She raises an eyebrow.   I shake my head, sniffling, “No, not until Jungwon leaves Taeyong alone, which god knows when that will be.”   She scoffs, eyeballs rolling in their sockets, “You’re calling him and telling him over the phone then, he should be here.”   “Do you think it’ll make a difference?” I glance at my phone. Taeyong seems to always be more important than me. I didn't want to be this petty but I like I mentioned before I felt inferior to him.   “It ing better,” She curses, arms crossing over her chest.   I pick up my phone dialing Doyoung’s number and after the third ring he answers. “Hello.”   “Doyoung,” I start out.   “Did you need something?” He says sounding careless and slightly annoyed. Which I couldn’t blame him, he didn’t know the reason I was calling but it still upset me. It was like I meant nothing to him.   It strikes a nerve with me but I remain calm. “I have something to tell you.”   I hear him sigh, “Can it not wait until this weekend? I’m kind of busy right now.”   I click my tongue, annoyance making its way into my veins, “Yeah, sure, I’ll put our relationship on hold for Taeyong.”   “What’s your problem?” He remarks back through the phone. Despite being with Doyoung for nine years we hadn’t really ever fought, not any that weren't resolved within the hour they happened in. He would get sassy at times but I always tried to keep the peace, plus I knew he usually only got sassy when he felt attacked. But right now, I didn’t care if he felt attacked, I felt useless because of him. “Is it because you’re on your period? It’s the 16th so it’s that time of the month again.”   I snort into the phone, if only it were that, in fact, it’s the complete opposite, “No, I’m just tired of being second to Taeyong is all. Maybe instead of worrying about someone else’s relationship, you should be worrying about your own.”   “What’s that supposed to mean?” He snips through the phone, his pissed tone making an appearance.   “Why don’t you just date Taeyong at this point? I’m done.” I say into the phone which causes Chaekyung’s eyes to widen. This was going south and nowhere near the way the phone call was supposed to go.   “Moon-.” He starts but I cut him off.   “It’s really not that complicated Doyoung. Did you really think I’d just sit here and worry about you all the time while you run off and do whatever you want? Taeyong is a grown man, let him take care of his own problems.” I say into the phone and I hear him sigh.   “Why is it such a big deal that I hang out with my friend? Since when were you this clingy?” He scoffs. Anxiety crawls it’s way up my throat at his words, if this was what he thought being clingy was I’d hate to see how he reacted if I really was being clingy. Would me saying I’m pregnant make him feel he has to stay with me when maybe somewhere down the road he decides he doesn’t want to be with me? I don’t want to force him into anything. I don't want to be clingy and a pregnancy announcement will sound clingy at this point.   Doyoung has never been one linger on something he doesn’t care about. If he in the future falls out of love with me, he won’t force himself to stay. In a way that’s what makes him charming. He would never cheat, he’d just be honest. He would never lead you on, he’s not about that. But would a child change that? Would it ruin the Doyoung I know now? Because I would rather sacrifice my own happiness for him to stay the way he is now.   “I don’t know, I guess it’d just be nice to see my own boyfriend at least a couple times a week. You know since we live together. Sorry for asking for so much.” My hand grips my phone tighter, maybe letting him go was for the better. “But don’t worry you won’t have to worry about my annoying clingy self anymore, goodbye, Doyoung.”   I hang up, instantly turning my phone off so he couldn’t call me back.   “What the hell just happened, Moonyoung?” She rests a hand on my shoulder out of concern, her eyes searching mine.   “Hormones and god, I miss him but he’s so hard headed he won’t come back until he’s sure Taeyong’s fine, and I don’t want to ruin his life, Chaekyung. A baby is a lot, what if he’s not ready for that yet?” She moves forward pulling me into a hug.   “Get your stuff together, you can stay with me tonight but Hyejung will be back from her trip tomorrow so you’ll have to find another place after that.” She pulls away, tugging me up.   -   Chaekyung lived in a studio apartment with her girlfriend Hyejung, so whenever she returned from her trip to her parents I ultimately had to find another place. I did not want to return to mine and Doyoung’s shared apartment and I also did not want to return to my parents home either. So the only other place was my old friend Yuta’s.   It had been a while since we last talked because Doyoung wasn’t a big fan of him, claiming Yuta liked me. But that wasn’t true because Yuta was just naturally flirty. But nonetheless I cut off contact with him, hopefully he wouldn’t turn me away today.   I knock on his apartment door, after a few seconds the door opens and Yuta eyes me confused as to why I was there.   “Moonyoung?”   “I’m sorry for showing up unannounced, but I have nowhere else to go.” I lower my head, teeth biting into my lip.   He sighs, opening the door wider. “Come inside.”   “So, what happened?” Yuta asks, slouching down into his couch.   “Doyoung’s been distant lately due to Taeyong’s ex not leaving him alone, and Doyoung would do anything to help his friends out, and I just got fed up,” I hum softly. “I broke up with him.”   Yuta seems surprised. “You broke up with him? I’m shocked.”   I eye him c