Working my way through college has been difficult because tuition is so expensive and jobs are scarce during a global pandemic. My parents helped me as much as they could but they don't have much money and they're struggling too with their shop not being able to be open to customers. 

I managed to get into a really good art program in college this year with half online and half in studio classes, all masked and social distanced.  It's helped me feel like there is a future to look forward to, some sort of future where art is important, but the coursework isn't cheap. 

I took a job as a PA at BigHit and basically it means I run errands for anyone in the company at any hour of any day. Sometimes it's really important work like sending contracts to artists, or getting props for the photographer. Sometimes it's total bull work like picking up dry-cleaning or dog food so some star doesn't have to risk exposure at the corner store, and sometimes, like today, I'm getting Iced Americano coffees for an Idol who could easily get it himself.  

I've had to do this run almost daily for Suga from BTS. He never wants to leave the studio in his apartment and the company is happy to have him not risking exposure, so instead of getting coffee himself, I get to be the one to fill his caffeine needs. Well, that is where I get my money for my paints and canvas I guess.

Today is no different, I know when I get the call exactly who wants a coffee. I always have to bring two, and I have to keep them cold so I carry a small cooler with me. It looks like I'm delivering a kidney or something. It feels like a ridiculous way to make a living, but it pays my bills, so I mask up, swallow my pride, and get the coffees. 

I load up the cooler with the large plastic cups thinking about how much plastic is wasted and that maybe he should invest in a nice coffee maker instead and make it himself at home.  I'm not usually this irritable during my errands, but Suga annoys me because he is always really mean when I deliver the coffee. Some of the other artists I've met on jobs are really warm and friendly, or at least cordial, but never Suga. It's as if I'm bothering him when I bring him the coffee that he asked for.  I ring the bell to the apartment from the outer lobby of his swanky building and I hear his grumpy voice over the speaker. 

"Yeah?" Oh great, his typical pleasant greeting, I think. 

"Suga ssi, I'm here with your coffee," I say a little sweetly sarcastic.

"Did you bring two?" he grunts.

"Yes, as per usual." I roll my eyes. 

I forget that he can see me on his monitor and I look up to the camera above the door and smile in an exaggerated way from under my mask. The buzzer rings to let me into the outer door.  I walk through the empty lobby area and past the security guard who nods a hello at me.

"Hi Mia, another coffee delivery huh?"  He's use to seeing me many days a week now.

"Nothing more important that an iced caffeine rush." I turn back to him as I walk toward the elevators. "You would never guess that I don't just deliver coffee for a living. Sometimes I also get to walk peoples' dogs." I laugh at myself and he tips his hat in a friendly way.

"It's a living," he says from behind his mask.

Is it though? I question myself as the elevator doors close. I approach the door to his apartment which he's left open, expecting me.  I check my phone, I still have twenty minutes to get to my first class. I push the door open fully with my foot and enter his apartment closing it behind me.  I pull my mask down as I walk straight to the kitchen to open the nearly empty refrigerator. There are only condiments, and a half eaten bowl of noodles that might have been there for a week. I notice a type of beer I've never seen before and I pause to look at the label, bending over in the fridge hidden from view. I pull one out to read the back.

"A bit early for beer isn't it?" he says as he steps up behind me. I turn to him startled. I lower my eyes from his, embarrassed.

"Just making space for your coffees," I say absurdly. He sees the array of empty shelves and chuckles at my lie. 

He looks like he's been up all night working. His hair is a mess of blonde with green tint and his shirt looks wrinkled as though he's slept in it. His eyes are almost black as they regard me in the dim light of the room. His face, usually cold and distant, today seems a little warmer and he's smiling, probably because he's caught me out.

"Think there's plenty of space in there," he says drawing closer to me, peering behind me.

"Yeah, there is, you should lay off the coffee and buy some food for natural energy," I say boldly speaking my mind.

He looks at me, surprised at my gall. He raises an eyebrow. "I need the coffee more," he  looks me up and down.

"Maybe if you didn't drink the beer at night, you wouldn't need the coffee in the morning," I offer.

"Sorry? Are you studying to be a nutritionist?" he teases, but there's annoyance in his voice.

"No I study art," I tell him even though he didn't ask.

"I knew that I think," he grumbles dismissing me and taking one of the coffees from my hand. He glares at me as he grabs it, shrinking my nerve.

"Do you really just drink Iced Americano all day when you're working?" I ask, showing uncharacteristic interest.

"I drink the first one, and sip at the other, sometimes I don't drink it at all," he shrugs and takes a sip from the cup, slurping it a little.

"Great, I get two for you nearly every day and you don't even drink them?" I say annoyed.

"So what? Isn't that what your job is?" he says in a bit of a sneer. It pisses me off because there's plenty of studying I could be doing if I wasn't running errands like this.

"You're pretty rude for an idol," I say outright to him. He looks at me surprised at my candor. He steps back, as though he's ready to go off, but he shakes his head.

"Well you aren't even a fan," he excuses his behavior.

"That's true," I say thinking about how I'll probably get fired now. At the very least I will have to shut my mouth and just ignore him from this moment on.

"Anyway, I'm working so just leave the coffee," he says turning away from me, taking one coffee with him and shutting the door to the studio room. I immediately hear loud music begin, too loud to be anything other than a punctuation to our conversation.  

I put the other coffee into the refrigerator as I think about how it might end up being thrown away.  I take out a piece of scratch paper, draw a little animated figure of Alice in Wonderland and write 'Drink me" on it. I prop the paper up against the cup before closing the door.  I turn to leave the kitchen when I hear his doorbell buzz a few times, in quick succession. Someone wants him to answer quickly.  I look to the studio door. The music hasn't stopped.