Hyukjae was washing the last of the dishes when he heard it. It was resonating around their apartment, the sensual music filling the whole place. He wonders if Donghae was watching a Middle Eastern movie because it definitely sounded like it. He finishes, turns off the faucet, wipes his hand and decides to investigate where the sound was coming from.

Before he can even take a step into the living room, a sultry voice welcomes him.

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)
But you keep frontin’ (Uh)
Sayin’ what you gon’ do to me (Uh huh)
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

In the middle of the living room, right in front of the TV playing a video of “Pussycat Dolls Buttons Live At American Music Awards 2006”, Donghae was swinging his hips with his hands up in the air like a burlesque dancer.

Donghae still hasn’t noticed his presence as he continues to dance and literally loosen up the buttons on his shirt. 

Hyukhae clears his throat in hopes of getting the other’s attention.

Fortunately, Donghae hears him. He turns around to face him. Unfortunately, Donghae decides to bite his lip while ing his shirt still.

“I'm a y mama, who knows just how to get what I wanna,” Donghae sings to him.

“Donghae, are you on crack?”

A frown appears on Donghae’s face and Hyukjae feels a tad bit guilty. Hey, they just had breakfast and the last thing Hyukjae wants is a cold shower.

The sensual music fades away as Donghae lowers the volume on the TV before dejectedly throwing himself on the couch. Hyukjae follows suit, awkwardly patting the other’s back. Am I supposed to console him?

“Hey if it makes you feel any better, you can still do… whatever it is you’re doing. Just not when I’m here,” he bargains.

Donghae looks up at him, glare and all. Hyukjae puts up his hands as if under arrest. Ooookay, how do you deal with a pissed off roommate?

After a few seconds, Donghae loosens up (not his buttons, thankfully!) and sighs. It felt like he had something to say, Hyukjae knows it. He wasn’t Donghae’s best friend for nothing. Fifteen years of having Donghae by his side and he already knows Donghae’s mannerisms. So he was sure there was something wrong.

“I have a secret…” Donghae trails off. Hyukjae nods in understanding. “I… I - uhm.. Ahh…”

“Dude, just let it out. I’m not gonna judge you.”

Donghae sighs again. Hyukjae was pretty sure he saw dust fly away but he pretends not to see.

“I like …”

The alarm bells go off in Hyukjae’s mind. His brain cells were almost melting into a puddle of goo when Donghae spoke again.

“I like Pussycat Dolls.”

Hyukhae has three takeaways from their conversation. One: Donghae did not blatantly say that he likes the female ia. He thought Donghae was going to have to have “the talk” with him and Hyukjae wasn’t really looking forward to that. Two: He learns that sometimes, maybe it was okay to judge other people. Like his friends. Especially his very special friend, Donghae. Because three, Donghae likes Pussycat Dolls. He likes likes them. As in he actively listens to their songs on speaker. As in he watches Nichole Shingerhefllerzingersteak eat up all other members of the group. As in he’s a fan.

Hyukjae decides that maybe he does need that cold shower.

-

Hyukjae’s phone lights up as he finishes another sheet in the Excel document that’s due that day. He works at this obscure start-up company that sounded sketchy at first but the pay was more than enough to convince him to stay. Plus his boss was so eccentric that he pretty much let his employees do anything as long as they pass their deliverables and maintain a professional working environment. Working in an office was not really his dream job but in this capitalistic world he lives in, he could fare with the job he has. His co-workers were all nice and fun anyway.

He doesn’t pay attention to his phone and continues to type on his Excel sheet on possible media partnerships when someone smacks the back of his head. Hyukjae looks over and sees his co-worker, Yesung with an annoyed look on his face.

“Your phone keeps dinging and it’s annoying the out of me,” Yesung rats out.

In retaliation, Hyukjae picks up his phone, looks Yesung dead in the eyes, and visibly mutes his phone. Yesung just rolls his eyes and goes back to his desk.

Hyukjae checks out the notifications and sees almost all were from Donghae. He opens it and regrets his decision to do so.

HYUKJAE!

Did u know pussycat dolls had a reunion??

Melody wasnt in the reunion tho :(

They were supposed to have a tour this year!!!!!

I hate my life >:(

I’m blasting PCD in our cafe :P

Wait a minute~ Booooy, why you tripping like that?

Are you busy,

See you later!!!!!!!!!!

If Donghae was in front of him, he would’ve chucked the nearest thing to Donghae because who in the world was Melody and why would he need to know that group was supposed to go on tour? But alas, he wasn’t there so he just ripped a page from his notebook, crumpled it into a ball and threw it to Yesung’s head. 

Yesung was his co-worker-slash-friend who also worked for marketing. The day Hyukjae started his job for the company, Yesung instantly clung to him and pronounced him as his “new favorite junior.” That title didn’t last very long because he annoyed Yesung to the ends of the earth.

“What the did you throw that for?” Yesung asks, eyebrows scrunched in mild anger.

“I just felt like it,” he answers.

Before Yesung could do anything, Hyukjae had already run from the scene of the crime. So much for a professional working environment.

-

If someone were to ask Hyukjae what his favorite restaurant is, he wouldn’t know the answer himself. He figures it would be the same as Donghae’s. And if someone were to ask Hyukjae what Donghae’s favorite restaurant is, he would answer “the sketchy chicken place by the end of the block with an overweight chicken statue at the front” right away. 

In no way did he think it was weird that he knows the answer to Donghae’s but not to himself, that’s what years of friendship does to you. But that’s what Hyukjae says to himself when he’s lying. Because honestly, he thinks he might have a teeny weeny bit of a crush on his best friend.

Even when he comes home to Donghae “cooking” dinner while shouting “Alexa, play Jai Ho!”

-

Later that night, when they were each eating a tub of ice cream and watching some supposedly funny sitcom on TV, Hyukjae senses Donghae turn to him.

“What do you want to be when you grow up, Hyuk?” he asks.

“We’re already grown ups, Donghae. I’m working at an office job and you’re working at your family’s cafe,” Hyukjae replies. “I think you should have asked that question ten years ago.”

A flash of contemplation passes through Donghae’s face. He asks again. “Well, what did you want to be when you grow up?”

Oh, Hyukjae definitely knows. He wanted to be a dance teacher for young children. He wanted to open up a small school where he could teach the less fortunate ones for free. It wasn’t the most income-generating job but it was his passion. But that was long ago, and he’s happy with the work he has now anyway. He tells Donghae all this.

Donghae nods in understanding. Hyukjae doesn’t know what the question was for or why Donghae even thought of it. He thinks Donghae might be having an existential crisis so he asks the same question. 

Donghae thinks about it for a few seconds before a non-existent bulb lights up above his head. “I don’t know, Hyuk. I just envisioned myself achieving dreams with you.”

Hyukjae feels both of his cheeks go hot. He suddenly becomes tense when he realizes the other was possibly teasing him. Does he know? Donghae wasn’t as dense as others think he is.

Well, he shouldn’t know. Not now, at least. So he diverts the attention back to Donghae.

“Why are you asking this, anyway?” he questions.

Donghae puts on his confident face and proudly states, “A wise philosopher, or philosophers rather, said and I quote, ‘When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies. When I grow up, I wanna see the world, drive nice cars, I wa—’”

Hyukjae puts a hand on top of Donghae’s mouth. 

“What, ish Pushycat Dolsh!” Donghae mumbles with his mouth covered.

He doesn’t want to hear how the rest of the song goes.

-

There are times when Hyukjae thinks the universe was toying with him. The universe hates him. There was a time when he formally announced to the world (or to himself, more like) that he hated cats. He despised them, loathed them. He thinks he might even be allergic to felines. And then the next day, Yesung asks him if he could join in looking for a new pet. His two dogs were apparently getting lonely and needed a new playmate. So he says yes, thinking the other was going to look for another dog.

But lo and behold, Yesung drags him to a cat adoption center. The pesky little things were hissing at him. When Yesung brought a whole cat to his face, it took him a lot of his will power to not punch Yesung.

So back to the universe hating him.

It starts when Hyukjae was making his coffee during his break. Their company’s IT expert Kyuhyun was with him in the break room-slash-kitchen and he was eating some kind of… is that a baguette? 

Their boss’s assistant comes in and he and Kyuhyun both nod in greeting. He thinks the other two might have a thing going on but he never bothered to snoop in. Yesung might know, so he makes a mental note to ask him about it later.

The assistant, Ryeowook, starts making coffee and whistling a song he’s vaguely familiar with. Hyukjae brushes off the thought and thinks of a way to start a conversation with the two. Apparently, he doesn’t have to because Kyuhyun suddenly asks a question.

“What you’re whistling, is that…?”

Hyukjae swears he saw Ryeowook’s eyes sparkle upon hearing the question. The huge smile on Ryeowook’s face was more than enough to prove it.

“You know them?” Ryeowook asks enthusiastically.

Kyuhyun just shrugs. Tsk, he’s trying to play it cool , Hyukjae thinks.

“My sister likes them. I think I heard that song get played over a million times.”

Hyukjae tunes out the rest of the conversation because he didn’t want to hear Kyuhyun’s sad attempt at flirting. He focuses on his coffee and was already looking for a snack to munch on when he hears something that catches his ears.

“There’s this cafe somewhere near that plays their songs nonstop. The owner is this sweet woman, I think she’s the same age as my mom. It might be one of the owner’s sons who’s a fan…” Ryeowook’s voice fades out as the pair heads out of the room.

There were only a few cafes near their area and one of them he definitely knows. An elderly woman as owner? Check. Has a son? Check. Likes to play an artist’s or band’s songs nonstop? Oh, he’ll check that a thousand times.

The biscuit he was holding falls on the floor.

Realization dawns on Hyukjae late when he finally remembers what song Ryeowook was whistling.

It was the same song Donghae was dancing to the other day.

It was Buttons.

It was by the goddamn Pussycat Dolls.

-

He asks Donghae later that night if he’d been playing Pussycat Dolls songs at their family’s cafe.

Donghae asks back if Hyukjae wants to listen to the playlist he made especially for the cafe.

Hyukjae tells him to shut up.

Donghae corrects him because that wasn’t a song by Pussycat Dolls. 

“Hush Hush is the title, Hyuk!”

Hyukjae doesn’t give him any attention.

“Taeyeon from Girls’ Generation has a version if you wanna listen!”

-

It was a “rare Hyukjae office day off” when the universe gave him a sign.

He decided to take a stroll around their area because he fears the TV might magically play some Pussycat Dolls video when he turns it on. Hyukjae sits on one of the swings in the park and sips on the strawberry milk he brought from a convenience store nearby.

A few children were running around, taking turns on the slide and playing tag. A middle-aged woman was walking with a stroller. A young couple sat in one of the benches and shared earphones as they listened to some music from the girl’s iPod.

Hyukjae was enjoying everything. He basked in the golden light the sun gave as it dipped into the horizon. He closes his eyes to enjoy the peace and calm.

It would have been better if any one of his friends were available that day, say Yesung or maybe even IT guy Kyuhyun, but they all still had work. He contemplates hanging out in Donghae’s family cafe but he rejects the idea because he knows a certain group will be playing all over the cafe.

Hyukjae was about to doze off right then and there when the girl from the couple on the bench suddenly sang.

So don't you worry about people hanging around
They ain't bringing us down

Hyukjae opens his eyes. He knows that song.

I know you and you know me
And that's all that counts

Hyukjae is very sure he knows that song. Donghae sang that to him one time and mentioned that it was his favorite song.

So don't you worry about people hanging around

Images of Donghae suddenly flashed in his mind. Donghae laughing, Donghae dancing with the vacuum cleaner, Donghae burning the stove, Donghae singing Pussycat Dolls. It was all Donghae, Donghae, Donghae.

They ain't bringing us down

Hyukjae struggles to remember what Donghae said right after he sang that song to him.

I know you and you know me

And then it hit him.

“You know Hyuk, whenever I hear this song,” Donghae says. He adjusts the strings on his guitar. “I can’t help but think of love.”

“Love?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Donghae smiles. “That happy feeling you get when you think about the person you love, and then you even think about the little things they do that you can’t help but saying ‘God, I love that person so much.’ Love.”

And that's, that's why I say

Hyukjae stands up from the swing set so suddenly that it causes the kid running in front of him to look his way and trip on a pebble.

He didn’t have the time to dwell on anything else because .

He’s in love with Donghae.

-

Naturally, he goes to Yesung for advice. Hyukjae knows Yesung has a girlfriend although for some reason, he always forgets her name. Yesung is yet to introduce the girl to him so he decides to remember her name later on.

As he finishes the last part of his email to their department head and clicks send, Hyukjae now has all the time in the world to bother Yesung. He looks over to the cubicle beside him and sees Yesung opening and answering emails. He thinks whether or not he should ask about his guy problem right there.

“If you’re going to say something, say it now because you’re distracting me,” Yesung says in a stern voice.

Hyukjae throws his arms over Yesung’s shoulder. “Yesuuuung!”

The other was visibly annoyed now. Yesung tries to swat Hyukjae’s arms.

“C’mon Yesung! You’ve got to help me,” Hyukjae says in his most adorable voice.

His co-worker rolls his eyes but proceeds to minimize the windows open on his desktop. Hyukjae suspects he saw Purble Place among them. Yesung faces Hyukjae. “What is it?”

“Listen, I—” Hyukjae looks around before moving closer to Yesung. “I just wanna get your advice on something.”

Yesung raises an eyebrow.

“You see, it happened to me yesterday. I was enjoying my Sunday day off in the park drinking strawberry milk. Tasty, might I say,” Hyukjae rambles off, slightly amusing Yesung. “I was enjoying the peace and calmness, you know?

 And suddenly this girl decided to sing a goddamn Pussycat Dolls song and then images ran through my mind. I think I’m going crazy!”

Yesung sighed but he genuinely looked concerned. “So what’s the whole point of the story?”

Hyukjae bites the inside of his cheek. Here goes nothing.

“My point is… I think I’m in love with my best friend.”

A minute passes before Yesung connects two and two together.

“You like Donghae?!”

Hyukjae immediately tries to cover Yesung’s mouth with his hands. “Gee, shout it to the world would you?”

“If you say so then. HEY, HYUKJAE HERE LIKES HIS BEST FRIEND!”

Hyukjae winces. A few weird looks from everyone around but no one really reacted except for one guy in Creatives who shouted “Great going, Marketing guy!”

Yesung already knows about Donghae’s existence partly because they hung out in Donghae’s family cafe more than usual. And mostly because Hyukjae has been telling a lot of stories that involved Donghae. That’s also one of the reasons why he went to Yesung for advice.

“I’m glad you realized it now, dummy,” Yesung laughs, amusement playing in his eyes. “Took you long enough.”

Hyukjae could have said “Love takes time” or “True love waits” or “I should have realized it sooner” but instead, he says something intelligent that goes: “Ah-wueh?”

“Look, I’m not going to go all love guru on you. I’ve seen the way you look at Donghae and the way he looks at you. So I’m going to keep it simple. Talk to him and say what your heart wants to say,” Yesung says.

“That’s it?”

“Well, duh!” Yesung exclaims as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’ve been with each other for what, ten, twelve, fifteen, I don’t know how many years now. No one’s going to come close to Donghae’s heart than you.”

-

All day until he came home by sundown, Hyukjae’s thoughts never forgot what Yesung said.

They talked more than necessary which earned them a scolding from Boss Park who was conveniently walking past their area. Boss Park didn’t leave until he gave Hyukjae a wink and a “He’s right, you know.”

So between the overly-confident Yesung and his eavesdropping boss, he thinks he’s got a pretty good shot at confessing to Donghae.

-

Hyukjae decides the universe really hates him.

There he was, in their shared apartment, racking his brain as to how he should construct his long-awaited confession. And really, he couldn’t think of anything besides “Donghae, I really like how your hair feels. I think I love you.”

He considers doing the typical rose petal path and candlelit dinner but no, Hyukjae is not cheesy. He at least has some dignity left, thank you very much. He ponders whether he should sing Donghae a love song of some sort but of course, only if he can. The vacuum cleaner might have a better chance of winning a singing competition than him.

In the middle of debating with himself if he should start de-petaling roses, the front door burst open and in came Donghae with a paper bag full of pastries, ruffling his hair out of a beanie. He came bounding in the room with so much energy even with just putting the paper bag on the counter. 

“It’s so windy today, I thought my beanie almost flew off,” Donghae says, but still in a good mood. “I got free bread from the cafe, Hyuk. I accidentally heard fifty instead of fifteen so I got extras!”

The smile on Donghae’s face made Hyukjae’s knees go weak. His skeletal system might be failing him right now and he might be dying soon and honestly, that’s a better option than talking about feelings.

“Hey, uh, Hyuk? Are you okay? You look constipated?” Donghae asks, concern etched on his face.

Moment of truth, Hyukjae. Give it all you’ve got.

“Donghae,” Hyukjae calls out.

“Yeah?”

“Remember when you said you can’t help but think of love when you hear that one song of Pussycat Dolls you like?”

Donghae nods.

“Well, something similar happened to me, uhm,” Hyukjae clears his throat. “I’m not going to spill the details but a certain person came to my mind when I heard the song. 

This certain person never fails to make me laugh, although they probably laugh more at their own joke. This person always knows what I’m feeling. They know when I’m sad, when I need someone to talk to, when I need my space, they just… know. The little things they do makes me want to pull out my hair but I have to put my hair back one because, , I can’t resist falling in love with this person even more.”

Hyukjae chokes up a bit but he continues.

“I think… no. I know I don’t want anyone or anything else because this person might just be the only one I’ll need. I guess what matters is that we both understand each other and we both know we’ll be there for each other. No matter what.”

“Oh,” Donghae finally says.

Hyukjae’s right eye twitches because damn, he made that confession with a romantic flair and all he gets is an “oh.” His feet wills him to march up to Donghae.

“You know what else, Donghae?” Hyukjae asks. 

He didn’t wait for an answer. 

“This person likes Pussycat Dolls so much that I’m willing to listen to their discography if it makes this person happy. This person is you, Donghae. I’m in love with you.”

A tear sheds down from Donghae’s eye. Hyukjae expects the other person to start beating the out of him or making him leave the apartment using bread as a weapon. But what happens next, he didn’t really expect it.

Donghae kisses him. It was hesitant at first but slowly, Hyukjae relaxed into the kiss. He feels a tug in the pit of his stomach and his heart going boom-boom-boom. It felt good. It made him feel free.

The kiss broke when they both needed to catch their breath.

“Did we really just do that?” Hyukjae asks, still in disbelief.

Donghae smiles at him. “Yeah, we just did. Took you long enough.”

They stared at each other, as if memorizing the facial features on their faces. Hyukjae brings up a hand to Donghae’s face. Donghae then leans into the touch. He smiled affectionately at Hyukjae.

“So…” Donghae says, almost teasingly. “Are you really willing to listen to Pussycat Dolls all day long?”

Hyukjae wipes off the smile on Donghae’s face. 

“I guess so,” he shrugs. “I do know a song that I’d like to sing for you right now.”

Donghae’s eyes light up in excitement. Hyukjae clears his throat and he begins to sing.

“Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don't cha? Don’t—”

“Don’t finish that chorus. I get the point already!” Donghae cries out.

Hyukjae just laughs.

He thinks that maybe the universe doesn’t really hate him. Maybe the universe was only telling him the signs, albeit in the most annoying ways. Nobody, and he swears, nobody has even made him feel all giddy and lovestruck like Donghae did. And for as long as he’s with Donghae, he’s going to be feeling it for the rest of his life. Hyukjae knows this for a fact.

“For the record, Hyukjae, I don’t like Don’t Cha.”

“Don't cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?”

“Oh, shut up!”

“You mean, Hush Hush?”

“Yeah, I’ll hush you up in bed, how about that?”

And Donghae did. It was effective.