goodnight

before i sleep

Wendy loves the smell of her shop in the morning. The smell of freshly baked pastries is what she lives for. But underneath all of that sweetness, there’s a savoriness that makes her heart full. It had taken her years growing up with her grandmother to fully perfect the recipe for her doenjang jjigae.

It started as a means for Wendy to have some breakfast in order to run the shop so early until her staff would arrive later in the mornings (Joy was great, but she needed more sleep as a pre-med student). The shop itself is in a location that isn’t easy to get to for most students, so Wendy serves a variety of first shift workers, parents dropping their kids off at school and going to work, and seniors who live in the area. For many of those patrons, Wendy’s doenjang jjigae was a taste of home that they could take away to sneak breakfast or save for lunch.

It was rare that someone young would buy it.

It’s about 8am on a Friday when she walks in.

Wendy is checking to see how much of the doenjang jjigae is left after the rush for her to have breakfast when she hears the bells of her door jingle.

That scared me!

The small exclamation catches Wendy’s attention. Because it comes out in Korean and not English like she's used to.

She turns to see a woman clutching her chest as she stares at the bells on the door, completely offended by its presence. Wendy can’t help but hold back a giggle at the new customer.

The woman realizes she’s in public and looks a bit shy as she glances around the shop. Luckily after rush hour no one is ever really there, leaving the few tables by the window empty. When she sees Wendy, she pauses.

Wendy just shoots her a welcoming smile because the woman looks embarrassed enough to just turn around to leave.

There’s little contemplation for the woman though when her eyes fall on the pastries behind the glass and she makes her way over, eyes assessing which way to go because Wendy never kept a firm route for patrons when they wouldn’t follow them anyway.

Wendy thinks she’s a student by the way her hair is tied up in a bit of a messy ponytail and she wears big glasses that give her doe eyes and she’s wearing electric blue pants with a matching top underneath a gray zip up sweatshirt. It takes her a moment to realize that the woman is in scrubs as the explanation for her relatively loud color outfit.

The woman slowly starts from the far end of the glass counter, carefully and methodically eyeing all the pastries as she makes her way over to the breads where Wendy is standing. She bends over just a bit to fully assess the pastries, cutely biting her lip as her eyes grow in excitement at some of them.

After a nod of affirmation to herself, the woman makes her way over to Wendy with determination in her eyes and in that moment, Wendy realizes this woman is beautiful. Against her raven black hair, her porcelain skin is unblemished, and her eyes are shiny onyx orbs underneath the big glasses. And the small smile on her face is enough to make Wendy’s heart melt.

“Hi, could I get---” The woman has her eyes on Wendy when her attention trails elsewhere.

Wendy is glad for the brief moment because she feels her cheeks start to warm at the woman’s gaze.

The woman is looking at the chalkboard menu behind Wendy and Wendy glances back with her. “Did you have a question?” she asks kindly.

The woman looks distracted as she tries to tear her attention from the menu to Wendy. “Uh--no. I mean, yes. Do you really have doenjang jjigae?” The small smile on the woman’s face is replaced with a stern look.

The sudden change startles Wendy, but she doesn’t let it get to her. “Yep, I think we have a few more bowls left,” she chirps.

“You have it now?”

Wendy smiles and nods. “Did you want to sample it?”

“Can I get a bowl with some rice?”

Wendy holds back her surprise at the woman’s steadfastness, but she likes it because the smile returns to her face. Of course Wendy gets her a bowl, asking whether she’d like it for here or to go; again there’s contemplation in the woman’s head before she says to go with what sounds like a bit of remorse.

“Thanks for coming, have a good day!”

The woman only has eyes for her bag of doenjang jjigae and rice as she receives it from Wendy after paying. “Mm, thank you. Goodnight!”

Wendy furrows her brows, wondering if she heard correctly. The woman already turns around to walk out the door. It’s only when the woman pauses at the door that Wendy giggles because she can see the woman’s exasperated reflection in the glass repeating “GOODNIGHT?!” to herself.

She doesn’t turn back though and just pushes the door open so she can leave quickly.

-----------------

Wendy doesn’t think too much of new customers, especially if they look like students because her shop is hard to get to in the winters when walking isn’t easy and the buses aren’t as efficient as they should be.

However, the woman does come back. This time on a Wednesday and she wears dark green scrubs, still with her gray sweatshirt, big glasses, and hair in a messy ponytail. This time she walks in the shop, still startled by the bell, but with a little more confidence upon seeing no other patrons and makes her way to the counter with determination.

“Doenjang jjigae and rice,” she practically chirps, bringing a smile to Wendy’s face.

She’s sweet.

“Can I get you anything else?” Wendy asks as she gets her order.

The woman bites her bottom lip thoughtfully and her cheeks puff up just a little bit making her look like a cute bunny. She gazes over the glass counter until she finds something and points. “Is that red bean?”

Wendy comes back with her soup and rice and sees it. “Yep.”

“Can I get two?”

Wendy quirks her head in amusement because the only people that get it are the older patrons she gets. “Sure.”

The smile on the woman’s face seems to grow, like she’s genuinely excited to have the food she’s purchased. It brings a smile to Wendy’s face. The woman doesn’t say much else as she hands Wendy her payment.

“Have a good day!”

“Oh, yeah. Goodnight.”

This time the woman catches on a lot faster to what she says with her eyes going wide and her cheeks turning pink, but she doesn’t correct herself. She just grabs the bags and turns to leave as if she meant to do that.

Wendy just chuckles to herself as she watches the woman leave.

-----------------

The woman becomes a regular anyway, which makes Wendy happy because she gets to see her pretty face every Friday consistently and maybe another morning around 8am. It’s like she knows that the rush is over. She always orders doenjang jjigae and rice and on some days when she’s got a little pleased smile on her face, she’ll get a pastry or a juice from the fridge.

Over the course of the two months the woman has been coming to the shop, Wendy has counted approximately 8 colors of scrubs: electric blue, dark green, black, gray, lilac, deep purple, lavender, and bright purple. She’s concluded that the woman looks best in any of the purples.

Although their conversation never strays too far from professional, there are a few days when the woman asks questions about fillings of pastries and names of a few of the non Korean stuff Wendy makes to spice things up. She doesn’t conversate much, just listening to Wendy’s voice and bobbing her head as she takes in the information. She’s sweet though because on those days, she leaves tips in the jar with whatever change she has left in her wallet because she always pays by card.

By the third month, the woman comes in with a sullen look on her face and it absolutely breaks Wendy’s heart. No one should be so upset on a Friday but there she was. Her dark hair is down instead of up, eyes a bit sunken in, and nose red. But she makes her way to the counter anyway ordering doenjang jjigae and rice to go without looking at anything else.

Wendy wants to pluck up the courage to say something to the woman but she doesn’t have the heart to because they have never talked to one another. It’s clear by the way the woman looks down as she moves to pay that she’s not in a talking mood anyway.

Wendy gets that and takes her card that she blindly holds out. When she gives back the card, the woman looks up and Wendy gives her an encouraging smile.

Albeit small, the woman returns her smile. “Thank you.”

Wendy notices that she sounds kind. In just two words, there’s a tenderness that makes Wendy feel like the woman means it even though she looks so hurt. She feels it deep inside of her.

The woman takes her bag and she’s about to leave when Wendy finds it in her heart to blurt out something, anything.

“It’s supposed to snow today!” Wendy informs, startling the woman. She lets out an awkward laugh. “Make sure you stay warm, okay?”

The woman just smiles at Wendy and nods. “I will,” is all she says before leaving the shop.

-----------------

It’s another two weeks before Wendy sees her again. The first week the woman skipped, Wendy was worried she had actually scared off the woman. But when she walks in on a day that Wendy nearly has to open the shop late because of the huge snowfall overnight, needless to say, Wendy was surprised because not even her usual early bird regulars made it in. There were delays in some of the roads getting plowed, so Wendy doesn’t know how many patrons she’ll be having.

Most of her pastries are still there because of that.

The woman s her large puffy jacket to reveal her lavender scrubs and for once, Wendy sees a little ID tag clipped to her pocket. She doesn’t quite catch the name but she recognizes the emblem for the city hospital easily.

The woman eyes all the pastries and stares at them with a curious tilt of her head. Wendy doesn’t say anything and lets the woman’s eyes roam because it’s been awhile since she’s gotten to see her so curious like the first day she came in.

After about two minutes, the woman seems to realize that because there’s no one else in the shop, Wendy’s been staring at her.

“Sorry,” she sheepishly says as she rubs her neck. “I’m not used to seeing so much.”

Wendy shakes her head. “It’s alright, take your time. The snowstorm has probably kept all my regulars from coming this morning. It’s nice to see you.”

The woman has a relaxed smile on her face. “It’s nice to see you too.”

Wendy feels her heart swell at the saccharine voice the woman carries. “Did you have any questions?”

The woman hums. “I’ll take a beef curry bread if that’s what I think it is.”

Wendy smiles and moves to get her one. Now that the shop is empty and the woman is the only person Wendy sees as coming in for awhile she can afford some time to maybe have a conversation with her. “No doenjang jjigae and rice today?”

“Oh that too,” the woman responds without missing a beat. A regular is a regular. “I was just wondering…” Wendy grabs a paper bag to put the pastry in and pauses. “Would it be possible to stay and eat?”

Wendy can’t help but brighten because it’s the perfect opportunity for her to spend some time with the woman. “Sure! Why don’t you take a seat? I’ll bring everything over.”

The woman looks surprised at Wendy’s earnestness and shyly glances down. “You don’t have to bring it to me, I’m already right here.”

Wendy waves her hand. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. The shop isn’t particularly busy as you can see. Go on. I’ll be right over.”

The woman nods and makes her way over to one of the small tables. She takes off her jacket and throws it on the back of the wooden chair before sitting down and pulling out her phone. She fiddles with it before she thinks to get up just as Wendy arrives.

“I haven’t paid yet,” she says, flashing Wendy her card.

“Sure, I can take that. One second.” Wendy has her breakfast on a tray and quickly sets it down before her. She can see the woman’s hands reaching out to help but unsure of what to do. It’s a sweet gesture regardless.

Wendy takes the card and lets the woman get settled again before running it. She can’t help but glance down at the name on the card. Irene Bae.

Even her name is pretty.

When Wendy makes her way back over to see the woman munching on the curry bread, pleased with her decision.

“It’s nice to meet you, by the way,” Wendy says, placing down her card and the receipt. “Irene Bae.”

Irene has full and when she looks at Wendy, her cheeks are full and her eyes are wide at being talked to. She really looks like a fluffy animal right now and it’s so cute. She doesn’t make an extra effort to finish her bite as she munches at her leisure, but she smiles with her eyes closing letting Wendy know the sentiment is reciprocated.

Wendy chuckles. “Sorry, I hate it when people get me midbite too.”

Irene shakes her head. “It happens all the time.” She takes a napkin and wipes the crumbs off her lips. “It’s nice to meet you too.” She holds out her hand to shake.

Wendy takes it before she realizes Irene is eyeing her curiously. “Oh right!” She slaps her forehead. “I’m Wendy. Wendy Son.”

Irene chuckles. “Nice to meet you, Wendy Son.”

They fall silent after that moment. It’s a little bit serene if Wendy had to describe it because Irene looks at ease in her presence. Maybe because she’s been a regular at the shop that they feel comfortable with each other. However, there is a bit of awkwardness because this is the first time that they’ve talked to each other.

Now that it’s pretty quiet in the shop, Wendy wonders if she should find a way to get to know the woman a bit more.

“Did you,” Irene starts, pulling Wendy from her thoughts, “want to sit?” Wendy looks surprised at her and Irene shifts, suddenly looking awkward. “I mean, if you’d like. I know you have to run the shop but you seem friendly. And I don’t mind your company.”

Wendy is even more surprised, but she’s charmed by the blunt honesty. The list of little things she’s learning about Irene Bae continues to grow in her head. “You wouldn’t find it awkward if I sat with you while you ate?”

Irene looks at her food. “We can eat together?” she offers without much thought.

This makes Wendy laugh. “You’re funny,” she says. There’s a confused look on Irene’s face and she doesn’t know what to do. She wants to desperately tease the woman but instead she solves the issue. “I haven’t had breakfast yet. Let me fix myself a bowl and I’ll join you.”

It turns out Irene is a woman of few words. She doesn’t initiate conversation when Wendy sits down, only pleasantly enjoying her meal and smiling when Wendy does the same.

For Wendy, it feels strange to sit with someone like this. She feels the need to say something because she’s the one that feels like she’s being awkward.

“So I noticed that you work at the hospital?” Wendy points out as casually as she can.

Irene’s eyebrows go up at the mention. She’s in the middle of sipping her soup, finishing it before glancing down at her ID tag that’s down at her hip. She nods.

“What do you do?”

Irene swallows. “I’m a doctor.” She pauses and adds as an afterthought. “In the emergency room.”

“Oh wow,” Wendy sounds, getting the woman’s attention. “You look young to be a doctor.”

She chuckles. “I get that a lot.” She takes another bite before saying. “I’m older than I look.”

Wendy raises an eyebrow. “How old are you?”

“Don’t you know it’s rude to ask a lady that?” Irene deadpans. The look on her face is so serious that Wendy is halfway to apologizing before she smiles and says. “Guess.”

Wendy furrows her brows because Irene can’t be that much older than her. “27 years old?”

Irene smirks as she continues to eat. “Let’s go with that.”

“Well, it’s clearly not that,” Wendy points out. She pauses and thinks about how long it takes to be a doctor. “You’re at least 30?”

“I am 30,” Irene easily clarifies.

Wendy’s eyes widen. “You seriously do not look 30. I’m 27 and I’m pretty sure I look closer to 30 than you.”

Irene shakes her head with an amused smile. “You look your age.”

“Are you a vampire or something?” Wendy jokes. Well half jokes. Irene raises her right eyebrow as she continues to eat. She doesn’t say anything but Wendy senses the inquiry. “Well, you look a lot younger than you are, you’re super fair skinned, and you always say goodnight even if it’s morning.”

Irene lets out a pained sigh at the mention of all those things before she shakes her head. Wendy worries she’s offended the woman until she says, “No. I’m not a vampire, but I might as well be because I work nights. When I get off work it’s technically my night time because I sleep after breakfast.”

“Ahh. That makes more sense than my vampire theory,” Wendy says with a smile. “I’m glad to know you’re not a vampire.”

Irene chuckles. “I’m glad you know I’m not a vampire,” she agrees firmly. She continues to eat.

“So how did you find my humble shop? It’s a bit far from the city.”

“I actually live here. Well, in this town. I’ve known about your shop for awhile but I’m not a morning person so it’s hard for me to stop by. Since I started working and getting off in the mornings, it makes it easier to come here before going home.”

Wendy nods her head, putting more and more pieces together of Irene Bae. She rather likes it. “So if you never worked the night shift, you probably would just sleep through the mornings huh?”

“Pretty much.”

“You do realize I open my shop for lunch right?”

“I make my own lunch.” Irene pauses. “Not that I don’t buy lunch on occasion, it’s just I can also cook whatever I’m craving but it’s a pastry shop. I would come here for pastries. Pastries are best freshly made in the morning.”

Wendy can’t argue with that logic. She smiles at the stream of consciousness that comes from Irene’s mouth. The woman’s honesty is truly unwavering. She is more charmed by it with each passing second. “So why do you always get doenjang jjigae and rice instead of my pastries?”

At this Irene blushes. She swirls her spoon in the emptying bowl of soup with downcast eyes. “It reminds me of home.”

Wendy feels her heart tug. She understands that feeling all too well, which is why she started making it herself. “Where are you from?”

Irene looks at her with a pause. “Where I’m from or from from?”

Wendy blushes because she’s heard that question one too many times. “Like you’re home, where you used to live.”

Irene has a teasing smile on her face and it makes Wendy feel better because she’s just teasing her. “Daegu, South Korea.”

Wendy’s eyes widen. “Oh.”

“Mm. What about you? Are you from the area?”

Wendy shakes her head. “I’m from Toronto, Canada. I moved here for college, but I ended up staying.”

“Ah.” Irene glances around the shop. “What did you study?”

Wendy tries to gauge what Irene is actually trying to ask as she answers. “I studied finance.” Irene looks at her with curiosity. “I never finished though.” She ruefully smiles because she only ever needed two credits to finish her masters.

Most people ask why not. Or tell her she must be smart. Or perfect for business. Irene just nods. No judgement. Just soaking in the information like she does when Wendy tells her what pastries she’s got for the day.

“Do you like working here?” Irene asks suddenly. It’s a relief that Irene is willing to continue the conversation because Wendy feels like she’s been the one awkwardly fishing for information.

“I kind of do,” Wendy answers, “considering I own the place.”

Irene’s eyes widen. “Oh. I’m sorry to keep you,” she immediately says. “I’m sure you have stuff to do.”

Wendy waves her hand around the empty shop. “As you can see we are flooded with customers,” she sarcastically points out. She chuckles along with Irene. “You’re not keeping me from much. I’m really happy you asked me to sit down with you. You’ve been coming to the shop for months now and the most I’ve heard from you is your order and goodnight.”

Irene takes a breath and nods in agreement. “I’m not a big conversationalist.”

“I didn’t notice.”

Irene narrows her eyes with a playful smile. “And I’m just getting off a twelve hour shift. So I only ever have so much energy.”

Wendy completely understands now. “I should be the one apologizing for pestering you. I’m sure you just wanted to have a peaceful breakfast instead of being harassed by the shop owner.”

“I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t okay with it.” Irene finally puts down her spoon and Wendy realizes at some point she finished her breakfast. “I’ve enjoyed talking to you.”

Wendy thinks that Irene is going to leave when she glances across the table to look at Wendy’s half eaten meal.

“It’s awkward isn’t it?” Irene teases. “Me sitting here while you eat?” She looks more refreshed and energetic after having eaten. Wendy thinks she’s also even prettier.

“I won’t find it awkward if you don’t,” Wendy says in return as she takes another bite of rice.

Irene shakes her head as she sits back in her chair. “I don’t find it awkward. It’s nice.” She says as she looks out the window. The snow is still falling gently. There’s a peaceful look on her face.

As much as Wendy wants to continue talking to Irene, she enjoys how Irene looks against the snowy sky. Her porcelain skin practically glows against the gray hue and her raven black hair. If only every Friday morning could be like this.

 

Wendy isn’t a fast eater like Irene is and she feels bad for eating slowly. But she enjoys her time with Irene. They just sit across from each other like old friends, not needing to say anything to enjoy one another’s company. Eventually, Wendy does finish her meal almost 15 minutes later.

For the first time since Irene had sat down, she finally looks at her phone. “I should get going.” She glances outside once more. “I’m sure they’ve plowed my street now.”

“Were you waiting for me to finish?” Wendy teases hoping to make the woman awkwardly say something honest again.

Irene just smiles. It looks different than her usual small smiles, something with a little more cheeky. “I was enjoying your company.”

Wendy feels herself blush because she’s pretty sure Irene’s tone is flirty. Or maybe she’s just making things up because she’s a hopeful gay.

“How should I help clean up?” Irene asks as she looks around the shop. “Is there somewhere I can put this?” She starts getting up, prompting Wendy to do the same.

“No, no, it’s okay,” Wendy insists as she takes the empty bowls off Irene’s tray and places it on hers. “I can take care of it.” Irene’s hands reach out to help but Wendy is too quick from her years of practice. “Thank you.” She stacks her full tray on top of Irene’s empty one.

“Thank you,” Irene says as she looks at Wendy. Her eyes are almost reverent and she looks like she has more to say. Wendy stares at her patiently. “The other week when I came in, I thought I wasn’t very nice.”

Wendy furrows her brows in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“The morning you told me it was going to snow,” Irene recalls the few weeks prior when she had looked sullen. She has a faraway look on her face. “It wasn’t a good shift.” She bites her bottom lip. “But I felt better after coming here.” There’s a small smile that tugs the corner of her lip. “So thank you for that.”

Wendy feels her cheeks grow even warmer. “I didn’t really do anything.”

“You smiled at me.”

There’s a loud thud in Wendy’s chest. And she awkwardly laughs, unsure of what she should say. Her heart is beating wildly in her chest at the woman’s charmingly honest comments. She doesn’t know what to do with herself.

“I-I’ll-I should put these away,” Wendy stutters out as she picks up the trays and quickly brings them to the counter.

Irene also has a look of panic on her face as she steps out of the way for Wendy to make her way back. “O-of course, I should get going,” she murmurs quickly as she turns around in her spot. Wendy misses how discombobulated she looks for a brief moment as she decides whether to grab her phone first or put on her jacket.

Wendy doesn’t want to be that hopeful but she can’t let this moment go because there’s more to Irene being a regular customer in her shop. There’s a reason why out of everyone, Wendy feels a bit of an attraction to her.

She turns around to see Irene slipping on her coat, shaking her head quietly to herself. Wendy bites her lip. “Irene,” she calls out.

Irene looks up quickly to her name with her big doe eyes underneath the glasses.

“I’m free in the evenings,” Wendy braces herself and reins in her wild heart for some courage. “If you’re awake for dinner.”

Irene’s eyes are so wide they’re almost comical and her jaw slightly drops open in awe. “Y-yeah. Dinner’s good. At some point?”

“Okay.” Wendy exhales with relief at not being rejected. “You know where to find me.”

“Okay.” Irene also breathes before shutting . There’s a smile on her face. “I’ll be going now.”

“Goodnight, Irene.”

The smile on Irene’s face grows impossibly larger. “Goodnight, Wendy.”

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maknae-mess
i thought about this fic again bc i honestly just miss sweet wenrene moments and wanted to share that the title "before i sleep" is from irene's perspective, in which wendy is the last face she sees before she falls asleep

Comments

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jn2_2n #1
Chapter 1: Chapter 1: I came from reading my roommate my vampire and it the cuteness of it reminded me of this story.
I really do enjoy this story for its sweetness between the characters. From the beginning to end their interactions every time where more detailed and cute that by the end of reading the story there was a smile on my face and my heart felt satisfied that the characters had progressed to a suggested dinner date. it was truly a nice story build and I loved the attention on the details to them, this will always be on my favorite list.
I hope that if you ever do find time, even if it is short, you can write a epilogue for them.
Thank you for the story
FreedomKid010
#2
Chapter 1: This is random but I found this fic (again) as I was scrolling through my Bookmarks. And somehow the title reminds me of a movie titled ‘If I Stay’. It’s really random but I like the ‘connection’ between a movie that left deep mark on me and a fic that I like dearly. Thank you for writing. And I hope you always have the joy of doing it. :)
thequietone
16 streak #3
Chapter 1: ahh this is such a nice and pleasant fic so softt
ShinHye24 1340 streak #4
Chapter 1: So cute~
todayis_wenrene #5
Chapter 1: ahh warm on a cold night by honne just played on my mind after i finished reading this, it’s like an appropriate bgm on that cut scene. Again, thank you author for this warm story ☺️
wizi1_
#6
Chapter 1: My heart, my soul—🥺💙💗
zero309
#7
Chapter 1: This is so nice and lovely.... 🥰
WluvsBaetokki #8
Chapter 1: It's so fluffy and soft like a marshmallow UwU!!!
enjo12
#9
Chapter 1: so soft i melted away
wrsubmarine
#10
Chapter 1: waaah this is soft i loved it