Nayeon knew even before entering the ridiculously crowed hall that she was making a mistake by going to that party, after hearing over and over again Jihyo’s and Jeongyeon’s insist with the event Nayeon accepted mostly because she was already exhausted from the request. Momo’s New Year eve party was bigger each year and Nayeon guessed that if her mood wasn’t so low since days behind she could actually enjoy the carefully planned event at its finest. It was something she once thought wouldn’t happen to her, she never could have expected that what happened a year ago could ruin something as fun as Momo’s party but then sitting on a barstool with a glass of champagne already half drunk in front of her Nayeon knew that no matter what she could never fully scape from her own personal ghost. 

It was crazy to think that not even 365 days were enough to get her out of her mind, maybe it was the snow that she loved so much or maybe it was because of her new neighbor’s music sounded exactly like hers did, as soon as December started there seemed to be no escape from Myoui Mina. Nayeon could have blamed it on the fact that thinking about it even then so many time after she still felt offended by the way Mina decided to break up with her only a day before the end of the year, their third year together, she still remembered the tears running down their faces, the way Mina’s shaky hands pushed her clothes from the closet to a brown old logged, the words that they both said and never had the chance to apologize for, a bitter memory brought to her with the gelid winter wind. 

Nayeon tried to forget her with all the methods she knew that were basically throwing every possible thing that could be attached to Mina somehow, that led her to a new department since the first five months after the break up there was no way she couldn’t stop imagining the surgeon moving around their shared home. After moving out there were plenty of things that filled Nayeon’s time on an attempt to find new things in her and forget about all the old things that used to be so great about her relationship, she started to learn German despite she wasn’t particularly interested on visiting Germany, started to accompany Sana to every event she invited her and even forced herself to try Yoga despite she knew very well she wasn’t the most flexible person on earth. All turned into failures that were long forgotten after the first few tries, of course there was also the most common method: Find someone new. 

Usually people tried to forget their relationships by forming a new one that was of course made to end on some tragic scenario like a partner finding the other between the sheets with somebody else, maybe their ex even, Nayeon knew it wasn’t the fairest thing to do to somebody else but by the half of the year she was already more than eager to re-start her love life. Finding a date wasn’t difficult at all for her, she was more than aware of how attractive she was, earned a generous amount of money with her work, charming and mischievous enough to never annoy her partners, Nayeon knew women loved her for those and many other reasons yet the problem was that she was also an extremely picky person… especially when it came to her dates. 

Nayeon could name them one by one if she wanted to, Jung Jinsoul from the apartment three doors away from hers, Kim Yoohyeon from the cafeteria near her office, Kim Sojung who sold her old department… the list went for another couple of names and despite Nayeon made sure to enjoy her moment with each of them, it frustrated her endlessly how nobody was still able to make her feel the way Mina did, she tried to hate her for a couple of months, she tried to convince herself that everything about Mina was awfully annoying and she had to be blind not to notice yet that didn’t last long because she knew better than anyone that it was a terrible lie. 
-There you are! - Sana’s voice made her almost jump from the barstool as she turned with a smile to meet her best friend. 

Minatozaki Sana was literally a shiniest person Nayeon had ever met and she was sure there was no other like her out there, completely gorgeous, awfully intelligent and with the enough controlled messy behavior to keep Nayeon busy with their next little getaway. 

-May I know why you out of all these people is sitting here on her own?- Sana wondered with a teasing smile as she took the empty seat beside Nayeon, her manicured hand lifting to win the bartender’s attention.

-I told you I wasn’t in the mood to come to a party-Nayeon almost huffs as she leaned back, the last tip of champagne disappearing behind her plump red lips, Sana shook her head as she handed Nayeon’s cup as well to the men behind the counter with a smile. 

-Oh come on! What kind of friend would I be if I left you all alone and bored during New Year’s Eve? - Sana said raising a hand to her heart just to pull a short laugh out of Nayeon who shook her head at the gesture. - Don’t tell me you wanted to go with your parents again because that’s a lie, you hate your aunts and I know that by fact. 

-Who knows? Maybe you should have come with me and see how many of them we send to the hospital, we could have made out in the stairs this year, the kitchen counter was great but we have more imagination than that- Nayeon remembered making Sana laugh loudly and hit her arm as she did, she couldn’t stop herself from laughing with her. - In the couch even but my mom would whip me if I did something like that on her precious couches… 

Nayeon could remember that day vividly and despite it happened two years ago it never failed to make both of them cry of laughter, tired of her aunts asking over and over again when she was going to get married, how many kids she expected to have, even asked if there was any handsome men on her life by that date Nayeon, who already had half of a bottle of wine decided to shut them out with the less elegant way that crossed her mind: Eagerly making out with no other than Sana against the kitchen counter of her aunt’s house. Sana had enough drinks to like the plan and both of them knowing as a matter of fact that Mina couldn’t mind less about they kissing things started only a second before Nayeon’s siblings entered the kitchen, calculating the time by hearing their steps the moment the door opened two of her aunts and one of her older cousins found her between Sana’s legs as she sat on the kitchen counter and pulled Nayeon by the hair only to make the kiss ten times sloppier than what it originally was. 

Of course Nayeon was banned from half of the family events but it wasn’t like she wanted to assist anyways. 

-If we do that again I’m afraid your mother will call mine-Sana chuckled as she shook her head before sipping her glass of wine- Momo and I want to introduce you to someone…

-I knew it! - Nayeon groaned narrowing her eyes at the Japanese who simply smiled back at her. - Every time go out with you, Momo and you try to hook me up with some random friend of yours. 

-Don’t be so whiny about it, it’s not like you didn’t like the attention neither-Sana teased looking at her friend - I’m sure you’ll adore this one, really, she’s made for you. - Nayeon laughed softly as she shook her head, she’s already heard that speech a million times.- Look there she is!- Sana pointed with her chin forward making Nayeon turn to look front as well- Right next to Tzuyu. 

Just like she expected her eyes met with the elegant silhouette of a tall blonde woman talking with Tzuyu steps away from them, from her seat Nayeon could see her face and even when she tried to stop Sana’s excitement about finding her a date she had to admit the other woman was completely beautiful, breathtaking even. Wearing a black dress so tight to her body that left no space for doubt about how perfect her shape was, long bright locks of blonde hair falling down her exposed shoulders as she laughed at something said by Tzuyu showing Nayeon the perfectly cared line of pearly white teeth.

 
-I told you, she’s perfect for you-Sana hummed with a mocking smile as she saw Nayeon’s eyes focus on the stranger.- Her name is Park Chaeyoung, two years younger than you and the best part of it all… She’s a doctor, a pediatrician to be specific. 

Nayeon hummed softly from the end of as she turned to meet Sana with a serious expression almost nagging her without words, Momo and she were really trying to pair her up with the closest resemble of Mina they could have found. God knows Sana had tried to make her friend forget her, she’s done her best to keep her busy, to find her new people she might like and even have tried to push her out of her comfort zone a little more often than usual but then, when all her attempts during the year turned into a waste of her energy she solved that if it was Mina what Nayeon wanted then the closest thing she could do was to find her someone different yet similar to her. 

Mina was a surgeon, an extremely talented one and Sana knew her intelligence was one of the many things that kept Nayeon by her side for so long, it was hard to find someone close to what Mina was. Even when she wasn’t trying everything about her seemed to be put under a graceful light, the soft tone of her voice, how even when Nayeon was usually impatient she made her wait for her to finally be ready each time, the way she used to mumble when she was nervous and the shy red tint that filled her face when Nayeon kissed her without a warning, everything about Myoui Mina was so perfect it was hard to believe she was a real person… at least for Nayeon she was. 
Before she could refuse to Sana’s intention she was already being dragged to the stranger and their younger friend, turns out Park Chaeyoung was not only beautiful but also gracefully charming as well, Nayeon guessed that if her mind wasn’t busy comparing her to her beloved ghost she could have actually liked her a lot.  In the middle of Sana’s story about how tedious it was to find something to wear for the night Nayeon noticed how not so delicately Tzuyu pinched her friend’s arm making Sana suddenly stop her cheerful ramble and look behind Nayeon almost holding her breath at the picture in front of them. 

-Oh lord- Sana breathed almost in a whine as she blinked in awe. 

-What? What is…-Nayeon started with a frown as she turned around. 

The words died on when as soon as she turned around her eyes met what she could only describe as a hallucination for a moment, looking back at her a pair of deep honey eyes, Mina’s eyes. Standing in a crowd that seemed to fade around her Myoui Mina looked at them with one of those soft smiles that made Nayeon want to run a marathon for her, she didn’t seem shock to find her there or even a little shaken by her presence steps away after so many time but with Mina it was usually hard to distinguish what was actually happening. Nayeon was completely frozen on her spot; they hadn’t met since the day they broke up,  she haven’t heard her voice since last December yet when the Japanese turned to the group she was with for a second Nayeon could clearly hear her apologizing before starting her walk towards her. 

-What the ? - Nayeon turned around looking at Sana’s eyes in completely panic. - Why the didn’t you tell me she was invited!?- She screamed in a whisper trying to look as unbothered as possible. 

-I… I didn’t invite her-Sana sworn lifting her hands. - It must have been Jihyo! 

Nayeon then understood why Jihyo was so persistent when it came to her presence on that party, what were they planning? Mina wanted to see her after so long?  Nayeon thought about leaving for a second yet she knew that Mina would have probably noticed if she ran away from her so shamelessly, suddenly her dress wasn’t as perfect as she thought it was, her hair could have looked better, maybe she should have used her other perfume, the one that’s kept untouched since Mina left…

-Nayeon-Mina called from behind her and Nayeon felt her heart jump to and come back to its place in a second, soft cold fingertips brushed her shoulder for a second before she finally found the bravery to turn around and meet her. 

-Mina, what a surprise- Nayeon said after clearing wanting to slap herself for how weak her voice sounded, she forced a smile to her lips and it wasn’t until Mina copied the gesture curving her lips on a gentle smile that Nayeon knew she already had lost the battle for that night.

All her fears where practically reached when Nayeon noticed that she seemed to be the only one having a hard time to deal with their sudden meeting but it wasn’t like anybody could blame her, time seemed to love Mina because a whole year after she looked even more beautiful than how Nayeon remembered her. Wearing a White elegant dress that was meant to drive attention to all the flattering parts of her figure and her recently dyed ash-blonde hair falling in gentle waves over her shoulders, Myoui Mina smiled at her like she wasn’t the one who broke her heart like it was made of glass. 

-How are you? It’s nice to see you again-Mina said softly with her usual calmed tone, her eyes never leaving Nayeon’s as she spoke.

-Well we’ll go for something to eat!-Sana informed behind Nayeon making her suddenly remember Mina and her weren’t alone to be begin with.- It was nice to see you Mina, enjoy the party! 

A low chuckle escaped Tzuyu’s lips when she met the desperate look Nayeon was throwing them to make them stay yet it was already done, in the blink of an eye her friends were lost in the crowd and in front of her Mina seemed to be only focused on her. Nayeon had thought about what she would like to do when Mina finally walked back into her life like that night, what would she like to say and the things she would like to brag about just to make her realize she didn’t need her at all but then when the moment had finally come Nayeon was frozen to the bone. 

-Can I steal you for a minute? - Mina wondered tilting her head for a side softly and Nayeon wanted to yell at her for some strange reason. 

-Sure, I guess there’s much we need to talk about after so long-Nayeon hummed with a smile trying to sound as relaxed as possible, much contrary to how she actually was.

 Mina leaded the way towards the wide balcony of the hall, her hand around Nayeon’s wrist almost like she was scared of her suddenly fading when she moved her eyes away from her. Nayeon took her chance to finish her glass in two long shots before placing it over the nearest table on their way out, not even all the expensive champagne that party could be enough for her to finally deal with Mina. There still were wounds on her, cuts that form time to time used to bleed at the memory of their past together yet contrary to what she originally thought Nayeon wasn’t angry at her, not even on the tiniest trace of fury towards Mina had space inside her heart. 

It was true that Mina was the one who decided to end their relationship yet Nayeon wasn’t guilty-free neither, they were much younger, more immature and unprepared to deal with things and even looking at it then Nayeon was impressed they were able to last for so long being so young. After spending three years with the same person things could get heavier, life was starting to change for them separately as it was suddenly hard to find their space between all those changes, Mina only got busier and busier on her last year of residency and with Nayeon finally entering a big company it was hard to find time and energy to focus on their feelings so when Mina said she had enough, despite it did hurt like hell, Nayeon wasn’t much surprised. 

They both said things they regretted, did things that made them ashamed but that was long forgotten that night, Nayeon was different from who she was when Mina left her and she was more than sure Mina was as well. Standing one in front of the other on the furthest corner of the equally crowded balcony the cold winter wind blew against them like he was happy for their little encounter, Nayeon could at least blame the weather if her hands started to shake as soon as those gentle brown eyes turned to focus on only her once again like nothing else mattered to Mina. 

-I see you still can’t escape this party- Mina started with a soft laugh, her hand lifting her glass of wine to take a short sip- I’m happy to see you’re doing well.

-I can say the same thing about you, you look beautiful- The compliment slipped through her lips before she could hold it back yet when Mina’s smile widened Nayeon suddenly didn’t have many regrets about it.- How’s work? Are you still are on The General? 

-Oh no, I took the job at a clinic months ago-Mina informed turning to look at the city below them for a second- It’s more flexible with the shifts, you know I hate overworking. 

Nayeon smiled at the memory of a half awake Mina practically dragging herself to their bed after a long shift, her voice became a mumble against Nayeon’s shirt as she pulled her closer to assure she didn’t slip away of her embrace as soon as she fell asleep, Nayeon knew many other things. 

-What about you? What’s new?-Mina asked and for a brief second Nayeon wondered if it was just her being her usually polite self. 

-I moved to a new department downtown, it’s bigger and it’s near the office- Nayeon said keeping the part of how she had to move because she simply couldn’t bare the memory of her in her old department- Some neighbors are a handful but in general it’s a nice place to live. 

Mina simply nodded suddenly looking nervous as she switched her weight from her right heel to the left, her teeth softly biting her lower lip as her eyes refused to look back at Nayeon for longer than a couple of seconds. Silence fell down on her like pouring rain as they quietly drowned with their own unsaid words, Nayeon felt like she could faint as she heard her heart furiously beating against her ribcage, for a moment she wondered if Mina was able to hear it as well since she was standing close enough for their arms to brush as they rested their elbows against the balcony’s safety bar, the breeze blew again making the surgeon’s perfume involve Nayeon almost like a cloud, her favorite. 

-I…- Mina started out of the blue. 

-Do you…?-Nayeon said at the same time making them interrupt each other, a nervous laugh filled the silence as Nayeon lifted her hand to let Mina know she could talk first. 

-I wanted to apologize for the way it ended-Mina said almost in a whisper making Nayeon took in a long breath, deep eyes looking at her with nothing but honesty- I think I could have handled things better back then so excuse me for the way I treated you after. 

Nayeon couldn’t believe her ears; her teeth trapped the inside of her cheek for a harsh second as she tried to stop the tears from pooling on her eyes, Mina was, as a matter of fact, perfect from wherever Nayeon looked at her from. 

-That’s the past, there’s no need to worry about that silly.- Nayeon smiled, those were honest words.- We were younger then, I’m sorry for the things I said as well. 

-No need of, they were mostly true-Mina hummed shaking her head to dismiss the sudden tension floating between them.

-I’m happy you came; I know you’re not much of a party person but it’s nice to see you’re doing well-Nayeon admitted and she was surprised when a timid yet firm hand reached hers, a thumb caressing her knuckles softly as she spoke.  

Her breath got stuck in the middle of when her eyes moved from the hand to Mina’s eyes to find a glaze she knew like the palm of her hand, heavy with intentions yet somehow keeping the gentleness that characterized Mina since she knew her. Her heart stopped beating when her chin lowered just a little, barely perceptible yet enough to make her eyes somehow look even brighter under the city light, Nayeon found herself again trapped on a trace she wasn’t sure she wanted to break. Suddenly the lights on the hall dimmed and the music stopped yet despite the change neither of them turned their eyes away from the other, completely lost in each other. 

-Ten…Nine…Eight!-The crowd started to shout around them but Nayeon couldn’t find the strength to count with them when Mina placed her hands softly over her shoulders. – Seven… Six… Five! 

-Four…Three…-Mina counted in whisper only for Nayeon to hear, hands found their place around her waist inmediately, her heart rushing like never before.-Two… 

Mina sighted when her counting was interrupted for a pair of plump soft lips kissing hers with need, fingers digging in the tender skin of her waist as Nayeon pulled her closer to her front in a quick second. Nayeon guessed the crowd moved around them and that there was probably lots of noise to mark the beginning of the new year yet all she could hear was her own heart practically ringing in her ears, soft familiar hands cupped her cheeks as she mouth opened to allow Mina’s tongue in, she was at her completely mercy at that point, everything about the younger was the most intoxicating thing Nayeon had ever the chance to experience. The way their lips seemed to remember how to follow each other like they were not even a single day apart, how safe and secured Mina felt between the arms gently yet firmly holding her against Nayeon’s body. 

-I missed you-Nayeon poured against Mina’s separated lips, their warm breaths mixing together before Nayeon leaned to peck her once again. 

The surgeon almost starts crying when she felt the amount of love Nayeon still held for her, fingers tracing her neck and down her spine like she was afraid of her suddenly going away. It was like the first day, their bodies still seemed to fit perfectly against each other, the simple brush of Nayeon’s lips against hers was enough to make the world vanish around Mina but of course not everything could be as perfect as expected. 

-Let me take you out, on a date-Nayeon asked with a smile so bright it could have lighted even the darkest soul. - We can go to that coffee you used to like, maybe to a new one even…

Nayeon should have noticed when Mina’s eyes changed to a darker tone, she should have prepared herself when the hands holding her tightly a second ago pushed her gently a step back as Mina looked a shadow behind her, Nayeon should have known better before her feelings came to light again. 

-I know a nice place to lunch…-Nayeon continued without realizing that her heart was about to be thrown away like a piece of paper. 

-There you are! - A masculine voice sounded behind her and before Nayeon could process what was happening a muscly arms were wrapped tightly around Mina’s slender silhouette. - I was looking for you. 

It couldn’t be true, Nayeon could have sworn it was nothing but a nightmare when the stranger leaned and captured Mina’s lips on a short kiss with enough familiarity to make her know he’s more than used to it. She couldn’t help the instant ache that formed in the middle of her chest when her eyes met Mina’s again, almost apologizing with her glaze because of the confusion. 

-Hi, I’m Kim Taehyung, Mina’s boyfriend- The man introduced himself when he noticed his girlfriend seemed to have forgotten he didn’t know much of her friends. 

Nayeon looked at them for a second as she forced herself to shake the hand being offered to her, of course there was no way Mina stayed single for so long, even when they were together there was an infinite list of people eager to take her place. Her eyes studied the stranger for a brief second as she forced a smile to her lips as well, he was perfect for her, dense black hair pushed back by a careful brush, expensive suit neatly ironed and even his tie seemed chosen to match Mina’s dress, they were practically cut out of a magazine. 

-Happy new year-Nayeon hummed bitterly as she pressed her lips on a tight smile. - Goodbye Mina. 
One step. 

Two steps. 

Three steps away and Nayeon was already caught by her tears, as thick as raindrops ruining her perfect make up, Sana didn’t ask what happened to her because there was no need of, there was only a person capable to make Nayeon break down so quickly. 

Just like a year ago Nayeon found herself with her heart cut into pieces and only Sana to witness. 

+++

Friday, January, 5th. 

 It’s been almost a whole week since the last time Nayeon saw her or even heard about her ghost again, officially forced back to her place in the back of her brain like a bittersweet memory. Orange and yellow faint shadows filled her living room through the balcony’s glass door making the space seem more alive than the woman lying on top of her leather couch, a whole jar of chocolate ice cream between her hands as she focused on the images on the wide screen of her television. 

Nayeon was making a big effort to keep her feelings at bay and restore her life as it was before new year’s eve, she forced herself out of bed like any other morning to buy coffee across the street, she still tried to focus on her unfinished paperwork and keep a strong front for her worried friends, Nayeon was trying with all her strength to forget about her again. 

Four hesitating knocks on her door were enough to irritate the already temperamental woman, her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance as she waited for Sana to finally walk inside the apartment since she already knew the code by memory… at least she should have but it wouldn’t be the first time she forgets it, Nayeon waited to see if by a miracle her friend magically remembered the password but after ten quiet seconds there were knocks again pulling an annoyed groan out of her lips. 

-Yah Sana! I told you to write the code on your phone!-Nayeon groaned as she stood up from the couch with a slow move- I can’t believe you still forget it, I don’t change it because of you and… 

Nayeon took in a sharp breath when Sana didn’t meet her on the other side of the doorstep; instead there was no other than Mina in blood and flesh shyly standing three steps away of her door. A bouquet of pink lilies big enough to cover her whole face if she lifted to her head between both of her hands as she looked at Nayeon back almost scared of the door slamming shut in front of her. The owner of the house felt she was imagining things, why would Mina be there in the first place? What happened to that perfect boyfriend of hers?  They stood there in silence for what it looked like an eternity despite it was barely a minute.

Two hearts racing.

 Two lives about to be changed. 

-Hi Nayeon…-Mina started with a shaky voice letting Nayeon know she was even more nervous than her, which was hard to believe.- I…- A vivid pink shadow took over her round cheeks as she tried to look into the pair of deep eyes in front of her- Are you still free for a cup of coffee? 

Mina was met with silence as Nayeon’s surprised face looked directly at her; her teeth trapped her lower lip nervously. 

-It could be a lunch…- Mina added just like Nayeon did a week ago. 

-You’re an idiot Mina-Nayeon suddenly chuckled as extended her hand towards Mina to pull her closer with a rushed move. 

When Nayeon’s lips touched hers on a deep kiss that was clearly pushed by love Mina was sure about one thing; there was no way she let that women slip away from her never again.