Sunoo remembered it like it was yesterday, but maybe that was because it actually hadn't been that long ago. Maybe, he remembered that day almost 7 months ago so well because this was his first crush. Maybe because he was such a big part of Sunoo's life now. Whatever the reason, he remembered it like it was yesterday. The sky was blue, the air crisp and cool with the first autumn breezes rustling the still green leaves on the trees. That was the day everything had changed. That was the day Niki came into his life. 

He had just transferred from Japan, he was gorgeous, popular, the talk of the school, and he'd chosen Sunoo. Okay, fine, he hadn't chosen Sunoo directly, but his friend group was close enough. Jungwon had introduced him at lunch, not that he needed an introduction, by then Sunoo was sure the whole neighborhood knew about Niki's arrival. He'd smiled, bowed and day down, glued to Jungwon's side. First day jitters, Sunoo knew all too well how awful they could be. He'd wanted to console Niki, tell him it'd be fine, but Niki's Korean was still a little lacking and Sunoo didn't know the right words in Japanese, so he'd kept his mouth firmly closed. They'd both grown so much since then. Niki's Korean was mostly fluent and with his help Sunoo knew significantly more Japanese. Niki was no longer glued to Jungwon, but instead, to Sunoo, who obviously didn’t mind. They had become really close. Closer than Sunoo was to the rest of his friends. They spent almost all their time together, practically lived at each other's houses and were attached at the hip. 

“Hey, you okay?” Niki asked, nudging Sunoo with his shoulder.

“Mhm. I’m great.” 

They sat on the couch in Sunoo’s living room watching a movie, but it just wasn’t holding Sunoo’s attention. He hoped Niki was enjoying it, but he doubted it, especially since Niki had noticed him zoning out.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, just having some trouble focusing on this.”

“Me too… Hot chocolate?”

Sunoo smiled and nodded as they jumped up from the couch and ran for the kitchen at the same time. Sunoo made it first and he threw his arms up in victory.

“Yes! I win. That’s 13 wins for me.”

“Congratulations, you’ve finally caught up.”

“I wasn’t that far behind.” Sunoo argued, protecting his usual two point lag.

“Fine, fine. I’ll let you have this one.” Niki grinned and Sunoo couldn’t help but smile back. Niki was adorable when he smiled. One smile from Niki lit up Sunoo’s world, it was how he had realized that he liked Niki. 

“How many marshmallows you want?”

“I’ll take six please.”

Sunoo watched as Niki filled the kettle with water, set it on the stove to boil and pulled two mugs from the cupboard. He loved their newfound winter tradition. They started it on the first day of December and the month was almost over, Christmas was only a week away. He thought it was really cute. While they hung out, doing homework, watching movies, just relaxing, if one of them said hot chocolate, they got up and raced to the kitchen. Whoever lost the race had to make the hot chocolate. The overall winner at the end of the month didn’t really get anything special, at least not that they’d planned, but it was a fun little game.

"Here you go." Niki said sliding the mug over once it was filled with steaming hot cocoa and six marshmallows.

"Thanks." 

"Yeah… I'm not really into the movie either, so how about after we finish these we go and do some Christmas shopping?"

"That sounds great. I have some things I want to get my mom." 

“Alright and remember it’s supposed to be cold, so dress warm.”

“Yes mom.” Sunoo smiled as he took another big drink of his hot chocolate. 

When they were both done and the mugs were in the sink they rushed to the front door and pulled on their coats. 

“Ooh it is cold out here.”

“I told you.” Niki smiled.

“I guess maybe I should listen to you then huh?”

“Yeah, I’d suggest it.”

Sunoo almost couldn’t be happier. He had Niki by his side and although it was cold his heart was warm. The only thing that would make it better, was if he and Niki had a slightly different status. If he could just call Niki more than just a friend, he’d have everything he could ever want. Of course there was no guarantee that things would work out even if they did miraculously end up together, but Sunoo refused to let the possibility of failure stop him before he started. It was something else that was holding him back, something that he couldn’t figure out.

They made it to the store and Niki held the door open. Sunoo’s cheeks flushed with heat and he hoped the cold would be a good disguise. For that unknown reason he didn’t want Niki to know about his feelings, and so far he had done a pretty good job of keeping it from him, even if everyone else knew. Maybe it was the fact that things were going so fast. Niki had only just moved. Sunoo felt a bit like he was jumping the gun, trying to rush things. Whatever the reason, Niki didn’t know and Sunoo wanted to keep it that way. 

“Are you a hundred percent positive that you’re okay? You seem kinda out of it.”

“Yeah, I’m fine… Just not fully in the holiday mood yet I guess.”

“Well, we’re about to change that. Hopefully, anyway.”

“If this doesn’t do it I don’t know what will.” He said, motioning around the christmas decorations that covered the shelves and every inch of the store. Christmas classics played from the speakers inside and out. Sunoo loved Christmas, his family had always made it a big deal. They decorated the house the day after Thanksgiving while listening to Christmas music, ate cookies and drank eggnog. It was Sunoo’s favorite part of every year, and now he got to share it with Niki. He took a deep breath, taking in the smell of Christmas and decided that this would be the best time to throw his worries away and confess his feelings. He just had to work up the courage, and as a pretty shy person, that’d be the real struggle. “Alright, let’s look around shall we?” He said shoving his thoughts to the back of his mind. He could think about that later, right now, he had Christmas shopping to do. 

They wandered down the aisles, and Sunoo looked for what he wanted to get his mom, enjoying the calm and happy atmosphere. He couldn’t wait until this week was over, until it was Christmas Eve. He imagined snuggling up under a blanket with Niki, watching christmas movies. They’d stay up all night and as soon as it hit midnight they’d exchange gifts. It’d be perfect, except, he’d actually have to confess his feelings before any of that could happen. Sunoo sighed and his thoughts turned realistic. When this week was over, when it was Christmas Eve, he and Niki would probably eat together with their families and then part ways for the rest of the evening. He and Sunoo would still be just friends and nothing overly special would happen. The new year would come before he knew it, and nothing would have changed…

 

----

 

Niki sighed. He wanted everything to be perfect. He’d been planning this for a little over a month and he had every little detail planned. Of course, there was no guarantee that Sunoo would say yes, but Niki wanted to do his best not to have any regrets. He’d liked Sunoo from the moment Jungwon introduced them almost seven months ago and he was finally doing something about it. Since the day Sunoo came into his life everything had changed. Niki moved to Korea worried that he’d have no friends, that he wouldn’t fit in anywhere, but then he’d met Jungwon and they’d become friends instantly. Jungwon introduced him to his other friends, and since then he and Sunoo have practically lived with each other. Niki just couldn’t stay away from him. It’s like he had a magnetic pull and no matter how he tried he always found himself right back where he started; in front of Sunoo.

He looked around the park one last time before starting to head back home. Tomorrow was finally the big day and he was a mix of excited and nervous. Everything was exactly how he wanted it and it just had to stay that way. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and the day Niki had decided to confess. He knew how much Niki liked Christmas and he wanted to make it even a fraction more special if he could. At least that’s what he hoped his confession did. The worst that could happen was, he ruined Sunoo’s Christmas and lost his best friend… all his friends actually. It would be too awkward hanging out with them while Sunoo hated him and since they were Sunoo’s friends before they were Niki’s he couldn’t very well expect them to stick with him. Either way, Niki would have done his best to follow his heart and he'd try just as hard to make Sunoo happy if he said yes, which he was really hoping he would. But there was no point in worrying about it now, that could wait until tomorrow night. If he acted too weird Sunoo would know something was up and his surprise would be ruined. 

When he got home he plopped onto the couch next to his mom.

“How was set up?”

“It was good. Everything is exactly how I want it, but I’m worried that someone is going to steal my stuff.”

“Maybe you do it first thing in the morning? Then you’ll have the entire day to spend with your new boyfriend.” She said grinning while she nudged him with her elbow.

“Yeah, and one more day without him if he says no… Do you think I should just wait until the holiday is over?”

“No. I think there is no way Sunoo doesn’t like you. He wouldn’t be glued to your side if he didn’t, now stop panicking and believe in yourself.”

“Easier said than done mom.”

“Niki honey, you are wonderful, and I’m not just saying that because I’m your mom. I mean it, and if for whatever reason Sunoo says no then it wasn’t meant to be and your Mr. Right is out there somewhere, waiting for you.”

“I really want Sunoo to be my Mr. Right.”

“I know.”

Niki took a deep breath and stood up. “I’ll ask him to meet me here at five tomorrow morning… You don’t think that’s too early do you?”

“Niki stop worrying, just follow your heart. If Sunoo is the one, no time will be too early.”

“Alright. You’re right. I’m worrying too much. I’ll ask him to meet me at five and then we’ll walk to the park. Right before we get there I’ll have him close his eyes and lead him the rest of the way. I’ll let him open his eyes and ask.”

“Sounds like a dream.”

“It feels like one too.”

Without another second for him to doubt, he pulled out his phone and texted Sunoo, who responded immediately with a ‘sure but why?’. Niki told him he’d figure out if he showed up and went to take a shower and go to bed. 

 

His alarm went off at 4:45 and he rolled out of bed, stomach a mess of knots and butterflies. This was it. This would decide his immediate future, whether things stayed mostly the same, but with a few perks, or if he’d only succeeded in ruining everything. Despite thinking it might be better if he didn’t eat until after, he went downstairs to the kitchen and pulled a container of vanilla yogurt from the fridge. Sunoo would be there soon and it would be rude of him to have set the time so early and then not be ready himself, so he made quick work of eating and rushed back upstairs to get dressed, brush his teeth, comb his hair and do tons of last minute freaking out. It was 4:57 when Sunoo’s car pulled into the driveway and Niki ran to the front door to greet him.

“Hey, is everything okay?” Sunoo asked, getting out of the car as Niki ran towards him.

“Everything is fine. I have a surprise.”

“Is it a good surprise?” Sunoo smiled, still seeming a little worried.

“I hope so. Is it okay if we walk? It’s not far.”

“Sure.” 

They walked in silence, Niki too nervous that he’d just blurt his confession out here and now if he opened his mouth. He dug his teeth into his lip to remind himself not to say anything.

“Where are we going?” Sunoo asked, a smile finally pulling at his lips.

“You’ll see when we get there… and actually we are pretty close. Close your eyes? I’ll guide you.”

“Are you sure that’s safe with as dark as it is?”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you, I promise.”

“Okay. I trust you and I am closing my eyes.”

Niki smiled, loving how just Sunoo being here had helped him relax. Who knows, maybe even if things went wrong here they could pretend like it never happened and continue being friends. It was a long shot, but Niki did not want to lose Sunoo. 

He led Sunoo along the dimly lit sidewalk, taking the shortest route to the park possible, which was only a three minute walk from his house. When they got there, Niki asked Sunoo to cover his eyes with his hands. With one final deep breath, he plugged the lights in, lighting up the walkway to the gazebo and the gazebo itself in white Christmas lights. He grabbed Sunoo’s elbow and gently led him up the path and told him when to step up for the two stairs to get into the gazebo. Once they were in he rushed over to grab the rose he’d left on the bench the night before and knelt on one knee in front of Sunoo, presenting the rose to him.

“Okay, you can open.”

Sunoo opened his eyes, first looking at Niki with the rose and then around at the surroundings.

“What is all this?”

“I know how much you like Christmas… and well… I like you so I thought now would be a good time to tell you.”

“Y-you like me?”

Niki’s heart dropped to his feet. Sunoo sounded confused, shocked, but not the least bit excited. He was going to be rejected. His arm with the rose fell with his confidence, with his hopes and he felt the tears gather in his eyes before he could stop them. “I do. I’ve liked you since the moment we met six months, three weeks and two days ago.” He paused, taking a moment to look around at the lights, which now seemed more like a joke than the romantic gesture he’d intended. “I guess this was a mistake though… I’m sorry.” He stood, getting ready to run, but Sunoo’s hand grabbed his before he got very far.

“Niki.”

Tears flowed down Niki’s face from the awkwardness of rejection and he refused to look up or even turn in Sunoo’s direction.

“Niki, will you look at me?”

The tone of Sunoo’s voice, which sounded small and frail made Niki turn. Sunoo’s eyes were filled with tears and Niki didn’t know how to react.

“Why did you say this was a mistake?”

“Because it’s obvious you don’t feel the same way, so if you don’t mind I’d like to avoid further embarrassment and just go home. We can pretend like this never happened or if you hate me now I’ll leave you alone, but please, spare me anymore heartbreak.” He said, hoping his voice didn’t crack too much during that. He pulled his hand out of Sunoo’s and tried to leave again, but this time Sunoo’s words stopped him.

“Niki I do feel the same. The exact same.”

“Y-you do? Then why didn’t you sound even the least bit happy?”

“I am happy I swear, just overwhelmed. This is amazing and you’re amazing… It’s just a lot to take in and then you said it was a mistake and I thought you were joking.”

“I would never joke about something like this, especially not when it had the possibility to ruin our entire friendship.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Sunoo paused, a mischievous smile stretching across his face. “Can you say it again?”

Niki sighed, a mix of relief and feigned annoyance. “I like you Kim Sunoo.”

“I like you too Nishimura Niki.”