[CONTENTID1] 운명! [/CONTENTID1]
I have only used a few Korean terms because I do not want to ruin your reading experience. But these are a must-have, so I will tell you guys their meaning.
#nim or shi at the end of a name instead of Mister
That's it!! You can go ahead now. I will meet you guys again at the end!!
The orange rays from the late evening sun fall upon the dread withered trees, casting down the shadow onto the people walking down the sidewalk. Seokjin wraps his arms around his body, his steps making crisp sounds of cracking leaves, evening breeze cold, mist and fog starting to hang in the air. Autumn is the season of hope, the golden dried leave will be reborn as fresh green once coming spring. A season of warmth, coziness, and joy, and those are among many few that Seokjin lacks at the moment.
Seokjin’s parents were lawyers, owning a prestigious Law firm of their own, a family business and despite being non-Americans, they rose to the top and become the unbeatable Kim's in the Supreme Court of California.
So of course, Seokjin had it all. The money, the status, the luxury, everything. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, a pampered young master since the moment he was born.
At least that’s what his classmates used to think. But Seokjin had been, just, lonely.
The autocratic image of his parents made kids avoid him, and Seokjin, despite wanting to make friends, was too awkward and shy to initiate anything. So, he just kept to himself, unintentionally becoming distant. And kids had to twist it in a way claiming that the high and mighty Jin wouldn’t just talk to any random peasant, breaking his heart further and completely shutting it down.
The only person Seokjin had ever been close to was his younger brother Chanyeol. Their parents have never been home, leaving them to nannies and his baby brother was the only one who had ever made him smile.
His parents may have not given him love, but they sure forced him with the responsibility to take over their law firm as the next heir. That oppression caused Seokjin to grow up with constant pressure to be at the top of his class, while Chanyeol had the privilege to live a life. It had always made him jealous, but no matter what, he just can not hate his brother. He is his baby brother after all, though Chanyeol denies being a baby because he is only a couple of years younger than him.
So Seokjin had accepted it. Started to get adapted to it.
And he finally came of age, 18 years old, and the age when everyone manifests into their secondary gender.
Seokjin of course is going to be an Alpha, their family line hasn’t been tainted with unwanted blood for generations, and the two siblings are obviously expected to manifest as alpha.
Except, Seokjin doesn’t. Not even after he graduated high school. Seokjin does feel a bit down to see the slight disappointment in his parent’s eyes, but in all, he just wonders if he is just a late bloomer.
And then it hits him, his first-ever heat and Seokjin becomes an omega.
It happens when his parents were out of the city and his brother away hanging out with a friend. No one knows he is an omega, so he hides.
He hides the truth that he has become something that his parents would never approve of. He goes to the doctor and gets to know that he also happens to be the rarest type, a recessive Omega. Great, now the truth can be buried forever.
Seokjin goes on hiding his little secret for another two years. His parents, by then, ruled out any chances of him being an alpha, assuming he is just a disgrace of a beta. They did pay for his law school, but it was clear they didn’t want an ordinary beta to take over their law firm. Their eyes shifted towards his brother, and to their utmost delight, his little brother manifested into the rarest form of a wolf, just as rare as him, a dominant alpha.
And it changes everything.
Chanyeol gets into law school, and he immediately becomes the apple of their eye. They speak so highly about their alpha son, telling proudly that Chanyeol will one day make a wonderful leader and guide their firm through success.
And Seokjin finds it unfair. He had been trying to keep up with his parent’s expectations since he was a kid and they just simply push him aside, just because he isn’t an alpha? And Chanyeol? Wasn’t he out there living a life? How can he get into law school just like that while Seokjin had to work his off to get into this college!
His parents suddenly start showering Chanyeol with love, buying him gifts and cars. They have always been too busy to give the siblings some parental care but their sudden endearment towards his brother made him want to have some for himself too, but he knows he would never get it. He is just a beta after all. It’s so unfair.
The frustration piling up in Seokjin’s heart slowly brings a crack in their relationship. He hates his parents, nothing new. But he also starts hating his brother, his one and only baby brother and it suffocates him to the core.
And that was his breaking point.
One day over an excruciating family dinner, he bursts out in front of his whole family, revealing his true gender. And that day would go down the history as the worst day of his life. His parents were absolutely disgusted, and his father slaps him right across his face for the first time, calling him a , and Seokjin wishes he hadn’t revealed about him being an omega after all.
They pull him out of law school, claiming worthless omegas don’t deserve to study. He gets cut out from the outside world and just like that, he becomes a bird imprisoned in his cage. He gets locked up in his room, only coming out when absolutely needed and every time he does that, he gets spat on his face with harsh words, and Seokjin crawls back into the safety of his room as fast as he can.
And his only solace in the closed walls of his room was BTS. The rap trio that has preached to the world about self-love, something that Seokjin wished he always had. They make wonderful music and their meaningful lyrics have always intrigued him. He first got to know them when he accidentally bumped into their song ‘No more dreams', a song about the need to break out the society’s restrictions, giving out the message to do what you love. As BTS's Rap Monster rapped along the lyrics “Hey you, what is your dream?” Seokjin wished he had the courage to admit his true dream of wanting to become a manhwa artist, break free from these clenches, and grab his freedom. But then again, it had always been Rap Monster who eventually consoled him with his beautiful lyrics.
Soon BTS’s Rap Monster, now RM had become someone he really admired, and slowly he started having a celebrity crush on him. RM was a bit of an idiot in real life, clumsy and awkward, but that only made Seokjin love him to bits.
Maybe having a crush on RM, who happens to be the rare dominant alpha, was a sign his brain has given him about his true self, which he took the liberty of ignoring.
On one of the days during his solitary confinement, his brother comes to him, asking about his well-being and Seokjin gets pissed. He screams at his brother about how unfair his life is, how unfair his parents are and just how unfair this ing world is, telling his brother just how much he hates him, despite not meaning many of those harsh words but Chanyeol simply takes it. He screams and screams until he falls, exhausted, his face flush and fat tears running down his cheeks, and his brother simply crawls to his side, hugging him tight, and Seokjin disparately tries to getaway.
“I am sorry Hyung. I am sorry for not being there when you needed me the most. I am sorry, please let me do this.” And Seokjin realizes that none of this is Chanyeol's fault. It’s not his fault that their parents have a prejudice against Omegas. It’s not his fault that he was born omega, and it’s not his fault that his life turned out like this. He looks into Chanyeol’s eyes and sees guilt, regret, and mainly, just brotherly love. He looks at him with pure love and admiration for his older brother, and neither of his feelings is influenced by Seokjin's secondary gender, just, plain love, and Seokjin’s eyes melt, hugging his brother tighter, letting out the tears he had been suppressing his whole life.
Seokjin didn’t hate being an omega. He had always had this softer side in him, but he had to suppress who he is, to pretend to be someone he never was. And now, despite the absolute disaster, he is in, he is happy that he can finally accept his true self. But he knows, he isn’t like any other omega. He is a recessive one. Kim Taehyung, the hottest omega model of current times, also happens to be dating Jeon Jungkook, the once squishy child actor turned iest Alpha K-drama protagonist from the same company as BTS, who is everything Seokjin isn’t. He is pretty, hot, and y, his cherry blossoms scented pheromones swooning every single person around him while here he is, an ordinary beta-looking omega, with broad shoulders and a tall frame and no appealingly prominent pheromones. All those insecurities just make him feel less comfortable in his skin, despite wanting to be a complete omega, he just can’t. Guess he couldn’t even be someone he truly is after all. He is worthless.
But apparently, he isn’t. On one of his wretched days, his brother rushes to him in the middle of the night, telling him the absolutely sickening decision his parents have come up with. Sell him off to the red-light district because an omega like him doesn’t have space in their prestigious bloodline, a disgrace and ineligible to be a Kim.
Seokjin, frankly, wasn’t surprised. What else could he have expected from his orthodoxy parents? He is just disappointed that despite everything, he is still their own blood, but they stooped so low to get rid of his existence that it hurts.
He can’t just go along with that ridiculous plan and get himself sold out to become a e. So, he packs his bags, everything he values in this tempestuous house, and decides to flee. His brother stands by the door, handing him a diamond neckless, which he is sure is probably worth around 50,000 dollars. Seokjin hesitates, not wanting to take anything he doesn’t own, but his brother insists, holding his hand tight.
“Just take it Hyung. I bought it only for this. Mom and Dad aren’t really looking into my bank account these days, but if they were to ask, I am just going to say I bought it to woo some alpha girl. Exchange it for money Hyung. It isn’t much, but I want you to have a better life out there, find what you love, and live your life to the fullest.” Chanyeol's smile was bittersweet, and Seokjin hugs his alpha brother tight before running away from that house, forever.
From Beverly Hills Gateway mansion, he falls to a run-down underground apartment in the suburbs of the Fashion District. Just a small place with a tiny kitchen, a bed, and a cramped washroom under the stairs. It gives him a roof above his head, and that’s all Seokjin ever expects from that place.
His parents don’t try to find him, and he is sure they don’t care. They finally got rid of their unwanted son, so obviously they would be delighted.
Seokjin wished he would be happier now that he got rid of the responsibilities weighing down his shoulder, but the outside world sure is harsher. For someone like him who had grown up reserved, it is definitely difficult to adjust. He knows it would be worse if he revealed his true gender so he keeps it himself, it’s not like he wants to hide it, but he simply doesn’t find a reason why he should let random people know, and make his life harder.
But he does wish to change that and thoroughly enjoy his life.
He puts away the neckless in the safety of a bank, not wanting to use their money and deciding to only use it when absolutely needed. And for his everyday expenses, he takes over two jobs, waiter slash bartender at a popular restaurant and pub and another at 7/11
He greets a couple of his colleagues in the locker room as he changes his outfit into their uniform. He isn’t friends with anyone there but minimum socializing is necessary to survive in a society. He neatly folds his hoodie as he places it in his locker when one of the few people he speaks to, Raj, an Indian, beta, pops up beside him with a wide grin plastered on his lips.
“Hey Jin, what outfit will you be wearing for the party later this evening?”
“Dude, the 25th-anniversary party of our pub! We will be going to the main branch in Beverly Wilshire, a Four Seasons Hotel tonight!!! Ain’t you hyped?!” A taller guy, also a beta, shriek near his ear, and Seokjin slightly move away, calmly closing his locker door and facing the two.
“Not really. I am not great with parties so I thought I would just skip it.”
“Dude, you must be insane. How could you not come to a four-seasons hotel? It’s literally the costliest place in L. A and you get to go there for free, why the wouldn’t you come?”
Seokjin scrunches up his brows. Why does he being there or not matter soo much to this guy anyway?
“Mike, Shut up. Let me talk. Jin, I understand if you are uncomfortable with parties, but this is the first time I got a chance to hang out with you. You always go straight home after your shift and I never really got a chance to ask you. I hope you don’t mind but I would like to make friends with you Jin. Become buddies with you. So, I was hoping this party can be the start of it all. What do you say?” Raj gives him an awkward smile, sheepishly rubbing his nape, and Seokjin freezes. Someone is actually extending a hand of friendship for the first time in his life! His heart fills with happiness as Seokjin blushes, biting his lips to suppress the bubbling smile, and nods.
“Fine, I guess. I can come to the party if that’s what you want.” Seokjin gives him a small smile, awkwardly bidding him goodbye and scurrying away to his post.
He just made a friend!! Oh, he can’t wait until he spends time with his newly made friend!!
Their shift ends a little over 9 PM and Raj offers Seokjin a ride on his bike. A bit shy, Seokjin reluctantly takes his offer and together they go to the Beverly Wilshire.
The pub was packed with people, sweaty bodies reeking of pheromones making Seokjin a bit dizzy. Raj immediately grabs him, guiding him through the crowd and helping him to a bar counter.
Seokjin simply nods, telling the beta to just go and enjoy the party.
“I did tell you to come so that I can make friends with you. How about this? I will buy you a drink.”
“Not now, still a bit dizzy. Maybe a bit later?”
“Come on, stop being such a party pooper. Here, let me buy you something light, ok?”
Raj quirks his brows, and Seokjin, not wanting to offend his new friend, accepts the offer.
When his drink shows up, he sniffs it a little and inwardly sighs. Seokjin had never been good with alcohol and just something about this drink tells him not to take a sip.
“Come one, drink it.” Raj urges, now sitting right next to him and Seokjin grudgingly takes a sip. Mint, lime, and Ginger beer. Seokjin takes another sip, liking the flavorsome concoction, not paying attention to Raj’s cynical smirk.
Seokjin gulps down the last sip, placing down the glass when he suddenly starts feeling the burning sensation in the pit of his stomach. Raj did say it was a mild drink, then why does it hit him like concentrated vodka?
He blinks, his vision suddenly starting to get blurry.
Sweat starts dribbling down his temple, with a slight buzz under his skin.
He shivers, suddenly finding the coldness of the air con too cold, and his senses get overwhelmed with the sudden rush of pheromones.
He blinks once again, dizziness from earlier getting more intense, and the temperature of his body rising drastically.
What is this? Just what is happening to him? It’s as if he is.. Don’t tell him...
“Wow, looks like it is working fast. Not bad.” Raj smirks, leaning closer and taking a sniff.
“Hmm... Lavender, and something citrusy and sweet. Such faint pheromones. Guess you can’t expect anything more from a recessive Omega. Oh well, as long as you are able.” The way Raj gawks at him is something Seokjin has never seen in his eyes. Did he...?
“What are you staring at? You still don’t get it? How dumb are you??” Raj chuckles, sadistically, taking a swing of his whisky.
“I drugged you Jin. I added heat-inducing drugs to your drink. I might not be an alpha but I do know an omega when I met one. You might not be as pretty as all those Omega’s I ed but it’s been a while, so you will do. Oh and by the way, Mike is also part of this plan, so you got two hot dudes to please tonight.” Raj gives him a charming smile, Mike throwing him a smirk from a distance.
“Now be a good boy and follow us to our room, don’t worry, we will take good care of you tonight baby boy,” Raj whispers into his ear, slowly sneaking his hand around his waist, and Seokjin, with all his might, pushes him hard, knocking the guy off his seat.
It’s no time to be weak. He jumps off his bar stool, and runs, pushing through the ocean of people, getting away from there as fast as his legs can.
From the corner of his eye, he can see Raj and Mike trying to catch up with him, but Seokjin gathers up all his strength and gets out of the pub, running across the lobby, and jumping into the arrived empty elevator, hurriedly pressing random buttons to close the door.
Once the elevator door closes, he lets out a long breath and collapses onto the elevator floor, his body getting heavy, his heat starting to hit him.
Seokjin's eyes mist up, tears tickling the corner of his eyes, slowly falling down his flushed cheeks. So this is why they approached him? All the sweet talk about wanting to be his friend and get to know him was only to gain his trust and drug him? All those lies, just to lure him into their clutches. And here he thought he finally got to make a friend. What an idiot.
Seokjin lets out a shaky breath, holding in his tears, not wanting to waste his precious tears for those s. And he has more pressing issues he needs to worry about.
Seokjin shakes his head; his heat is really kicking in, his eyes turning blurry and his mind getting hazy. He starts to pant, the pain in the pit of his stomach becoming unbearable.
The elevator door opens into a random floor and Seokjin immediately jumps out of it. He needs to find a place... He needs to find a place before they get to him. . He needs to before he losses it... A safe place... A place.....Seokjin stumbles down the hallway, his legs wobbly, dragging his body along the sidewall.
He walks on, his mind going in and out of clouds until he suddenly falls sideways into what he assumes to be a hotel room. He curls up on the carpeted floor, his misty eyes blinking when he gets hit with the strongest pheromones that he had ever smelt in his entire life. Audacious warm cinnamon, blood mandarin, and slight behind notes of patchouli. Soo strong that the scent only makes his body ache, wanting that comforting yet violating scent to wrap him as a whole. The more he breathed in that fragrance the more vulnerable he became.
He curls up farther into his body, his body temperature raising high and high when his blurry eyes land on a pair of gold orbs, deep sharp eyes with their iris shining gold before he loses his senses to his heat and succumbs to oblivion.
By the time Seokjin regained his senses, it was already daybreak. He slowly opens his eyes, bringing up his palm to shield his eyes from the blaring sunlight. Seokjin blinks in confusion, not completely grasping the situation he is in, and slowly sits up, only for the sharp pain from his lower half to shoot up his spine. He looks down and comes face to face with a devastating sight of his body. It was covered in hickeys, blueish purplish marks littering every part of his skin, multiple bite marks, some even bleeding, all over his body.
Seokjin gasps in shock, covering his gaping mouth with his palm. Just what had happened to him? He tugs on his bed hair, closes his eyes, and remembers.
Part-time job, anniversary party, main branch pub, Raj... Oh, Raj. Raj had drugged him with heat inducers. He ran away, got into an elevator, walked into a random floor, and fell into an unknown hotel room.
He sniffs, his nose catching the smell of heat lingering in the air, a mix of lavender and cinnamon. Cinnamon, alpha, golden orbs.
He gasps once again, turning to his right, and just as he thought, there was a man, lying right next to him, his face turned away from his sight and his mop of silver-blonde hair, broad shoulders, toned back facing him. Not Raj, he has black hair, and definitely not Mike. And those golden eyes, are the eyes of an alpha reacting to an Omega in heat.
An alpha, a random stranger, but an alpha.
The stranger beside him suddenly moves, and Seokjin jerks away, pulling the comforters close to his chest. The random alpha sits with a groan, ruffling his bed hair as he turns around, his eyes finally landing on a petrified Seokjin.
And for Seokjin, it doesn’t take him a second glance to realize who exactly is sitting in front of him. It RM, BTS' RM. His one celebrity crush, Kim Namjoon.
And that Namjoon stares down at him with absolute disgust, his face scrunching up into a deep furrow, as he scoffs at him in disbelief.
“You sasaeng fans never fail to surprise me. So, this is how far you’re gonna go? Attacking me while in heat knowing very well an alpha goes weak for omega pheromones. I am sure you even drugged my drink last night since the dominant part of me might have resisted these pheromones. Wow, just how can you stoop so low, unbelievable!” the amount of hatred in Namjoon’s eyes breaks Seokjin’s heart into million pieces.
He starts shaking his head, stuttering as he denies any claims of him doing this intentionally, and Namjoon only scoffs.
“As if I would believe anything that comes out of your mouth you disgusting human. Tell me, how many cameras did you fit in here? It better be recorder footage, if it turns out to be live, I wouldn’t hesitate to kill you this instant.”
“No...no, nothing is live, you are mistaken.”
“So it’s just recorded. Good. Now tell me, how much for you to shut your filthy mouth and destroy the footage?”
“How much?” Namjoon looked grim, his face ice-cold, devoid of any emotions and it only broke Seokjin’s heart farther, his inner omega wailing at the misunderstanding he couldn’t seem to clear. His lips quiver, as Seokjin closes his eyes, trying his best to stop his tears.
“I didn’t do this for money. This is an acci..”
“So, you didn’t do this for money but for the personal satisfaction of sleeping with your idol. Well, creepy, but now that you fulfilled your twisted fantasy, would you mind getting the out of here? And if you ever try to utter a single word about last night to anyone, I will personally find you and end you.” Namjoon stares right into his eye, his pupil shining gold for a transitory, an alpha’s command, a clear warning.
Seokjin opens his mouth to deny, that he didn’t do any of this just for a night with RM, it is a mistake and purely just an accident, but he can’t anymore. What is the point in denying now? When RM wouldn’t even believe a single word he says.
He simply bites his lips, nodding his head, and grabs his clothes, running away from his only love, clenching his broken heart in the palms of his hands, tears of grief running down his cheeks.
The events that follow only make his life miserable. He quits his job immediately, only doing so over a phone call, not even bothering to give his manager a proper reason. The trauma from that night imprints itself deep into his bones, making him wary of each and every person crossing his path. In the fear of bumping into those two once again, he moves out of his house but doesn’t find another. He couldn’t afford one after losing a job. He begs his 7/11 store manager to let him stay in the storage and his boss reluctantly agrees, only for a couple of months and he has to find a place before that. Of course, he was worried if he could ever find a house, but for now, he is happy he at least has a roof over his head.
He goes on with his life, but the images of Namjoon’s horrendous face hunt him through the night. He stops listening to BTS altogether, because every time he hears Namjoon’s voice, his heart squeezes, and his throat tightens up, making it hard to breathe. Knowing that the only person he admires and likes a lot hates him to guts, hurts him a lot more than he ever thought.
But things don’t stop there, of course, life is never easy for him. 2 months of misery later, He faints a few times, but no one was obviously there to be concerned about him. He brushes it off thinking it off simply as a result of exhaustion. But a tiny suspicion and a pregnancy test later, he discovers, he is carrying a life inside him.
Seokjin was mortified. He is pregnant
Just what is he going to do? He barely can support himself right now, and a baby? The moment his manager knows he had deceived him regarding his secondary gender, he is going to get fired. And just who is going to hire an unmated pregnant omega?
Sure, omegas are slowly claiming their equality in this society but being unmated and pregnant is still taboo. And that is the reason for multiple illegal abortion clinics popping up, their unworthy lives do not matter even if they end up losing their lives.
But even if something like that might not happen to him, he just doesn’t have the courage to kill this tiny being growing in him. How can he even kill a baby, even if it’s an accident? But then again, does he even have the courage to go on? Will he ever be able to give everything his baby wants? Of course, he would do anything for his baby but him being there, as his baby’s mother is enough to ruin his baby’s life.
Give the baby up for adoption? That’s the best option, both for him and his baby but how can he give up on his baby? He knows it is absurd but in these mere few days, since he knew about his baby’s existence, he had grown to love them. Does he have the courage to give up on his baby and move on as if this never happened?
Does he........ even have the courage to live? He, an unmated recessive male omega is pregnant.
Unmated, that word rings through his head like an echo, clamping up his heart and making dread run in his veins.
Unmated and pregnant, that’s a combination this society never accepts. And he being a recessive omega is just going to make it even more unbearable. He barely started embracing his omega self...Is he ready for those judgmental stares and repulsive comments thrown at him? Does he....does he even have the courage to face this prejudiced world with his fragile self-confidence?
Seokjin curls up in his small makeshift bed, hugging his belly, nausea churning up his stomach as tears of grief and fear run down his pale cheeks. Maybe he never really was worth anything. Definitely not happiness. And as he sits there in the dimness of his storage room, all he sees in his life is darkness.
A knock on his Rkive studio door interrupts Namjoon from his energy drink-driven 11-hour composing session. He massages his temples, his eyes blinking in relief from the constant glare of his computer screen. Who could it be? Not anyone can have his condo passcode. Hobi mentions to him probably a few hours ago over group chat that he is going to be busy playing video games with Jungkook and Yoongi finally was dragged out of his cave by his mate Jimin to go out on a date. He had always wondered if Yoongi is actually a Vampire instead of a wolf and Namjoon really admires Jimin for even having the courage to knock on that door with the doormat of a cat telling everyone to off sitting right in front of his genius lab.
He cracks open his door a little and finds his manager Sejin holding up a food parcel, with his expression screaming disappointment. He pushes through the door and places the food on the small wooden table in front of the couch, dragging RM and pushing him to sit.
“I know you haven’t eaten since morning so I bought you some jjajangmyeon. Eat.” Sejin simply orders and Namjoon complies, grabbing his bowl and slurping his noodles.
“Seriously though Namjoon...ever since you moved into your condo three months ago you have been holing up in your studio and it’s starting to become unhealthy. Of course, I love how wonderfully productive you have been these past few days, but I rather have you healthy than starve yourself in here.”
“I am fine Hyung. We have a comeback soon, so I have to work hard.”
“Still, this is a bit too much Namjoon.” Sejin sighs, plopping himself down onto a chair nearby.
“When I finally thought I would get a break from babysitting workaholic brats like Yoongi, you happen. Jimin is such a life-savior. When are you getting a mate? I think that is the only way I would get a break.”
Namjoon doesn’t speak anything, the mood turning a bit tense as he silently slurps his noodles and Sejin decided to drop the issue.
“Oh right, I found this letter downstairs, maybe it will help you lift your mood.”
Sejin places a letter, slightly crumpled up with only a few words written on it.
To you Mister Leader
From your ever-loving fan
“Who is it for?”
“Who else? It’s for you obviously”
“It doesn’t have my name on it.”
“And who else is a leader that happens to get fan letter’s every single day in this apartment?” Sejin raises a brow and Namjoon doesn’t argue back.
“Why is it crumbles up?” he asks instead.
“Oh, it was actually in the trash. The garbage truck guy was cleaning the paper trash by the entrance and it fell out of it, so I thought maybe I should just bring it in for you.”
“Why would you bring something that fell out of the trash? Maybe the writer didn’t want me to read it after all.”
“But I happen to find it! If you really were not meant to read it, why would I find it? It’s all fate! I am sure that letter has something that you should know.”
“Anyway, I have some work at the company. Call me if you need anything. Finish that noodles and please, drag yourself out of this room and grab a water bottle. You need to stay hydrated.” Sejin pleads, bidding him goodbye.
Namjoon does what Hyung tells him and drags himself to his kitchen and grabs a water bottle, setting it down by the table counter and gulping down its content. He places the bottle down and grabs the letter Sejin left him behind. He tears open the seal and pulls out a letter, which is surprisingly simple and actually thick. There weren’t any flowers or rainbows decorating it and ridiculously cheesy purple paper. It was plain white, with simple Korean letters adorning it. It also had quite a few pages and Namjoon wonders, what might be written in it
I am sorry if it sounded weird but I will not address you by your name in this letter, simply because I do not want anyone to know who you are if this letter ever happens to be found.
I do not have the courage to send you this but there are so many things that I want to tell you, so I am writing this letter like how I would write it if you were to read it.
The one writing this letter is me alpha. The one with whom you had to experience the most unpleasant incident in your life. The one from that night in America.
I know, you despise me with every cell of your being and I am sorry for the trauma you had to face as a result of that night but please let me clear this misunderstanding.
It was an accident alpha. I definitely did not do it on purpose. I was drugged that night to induce my heat and it affected you. It was also happenstance that I found you that day. I never had any twisted desire to sleep with my bias or any intensions to blackmail you about it. It was simply fate that led me to you. I know, you will not believe a single word I tell you. It might sound like a fake story I am making up but it is the truth alpha. I would never do such a thing to you.
And as a result of that night, I fell pregnant. I am carrying your child alpha. Now, this is also not some twisted desire of mine to carry your pup but simply another accident. But despite that, is it too presumptuous of me to fall in love with this tiny being? I have come to love our baby alpha but I do not have the courage to go forward.
I was scared to bones when I found out but was still hopeful, wilfully thinking that I can pull this off. But life has never been easy on me alpha. The world learned my secondary gender and showed its true colors that I have been desperately trying to avoid. And an unmated recessive omega like me doesn’t have a future and so does the baby born out of me. The little amount of bravery I master up shuttered and I can no more face this world, not anymore.
So I decided to give up on this life alpha. I want to stop this misery.
Today is my birthday alpha. Isn’t it ironic that I will be leaving this world on the same day as I arrived in it? I never really had any pleasant memories about my birthday but this year, on my final birthday, I want to make it memorable.
I have never been to Seoul before. This is my first time and I am already in love with it. I heard mapo bridge is quite famous for taking one’s own life. And I also happen to not know how to swim. It might be the best spot for me. But before that, I have so many places that I want to visit and enjoy everything to the fullest. This baby has been making me crave some Japchae. And a lot of meat as well. I have been restringing myself all this time because I couldn’t afford expensive meat. But I guess; now I have nothing to worry about.
I am sorry for blabbing such unnecessary things. I know you have no desire to know anything about this baby or me, but I just wanted to tell you, even if you never read this, about the little span of time in your life when you have been a father. And I...I just wanted to say goodbye. You have always given me solace in this miserable life of mine and no matter how much you hate me, I will always cherish you, admire you, and love you. I might sound like an obsessive fan te