FLASHBACK 4.0 

"Ano ba kasing ginawa mo?" naiinis na tanong ni Jennie.

"Katangahan nanaman ba Irene?" singit ni Solar.

"Well.. you can say that.."

"Naku madam, hindi kami informed may angst pala.." comment nong isa.

"Siguro naman hindi niyo ako itatakwil, ano?"

"Who knows..." kibit balikat lang si Joy saka nagroll eyes.

"I still remember those days.. na magkasama kami. One of the happiest days of my life.."

"Eh ano yung pinakamasaya?"

"Yung nakita ko siya uli..."

"Tangina ang cheesy.." comment ni Nayeon, tumili pa sa tabi ni Joy, saka hinampas.

"That's.... unlikely of you.. ew." sipat naman ni Joy.

"Seryoso madam, hindi ka ganyan kay papi Suho.." amaze na amaze na comment nong isa.

"Hindi ba? Well.. she got me feeling like a psycho.."

"Eh bakit mo pa sinagot si Junior?" tanong naman ni Joy saka sumandal sa mesa.

"Next time na natin pagusapan yan, nakaka sira ng mood.."

"Luh ang gulo talaga nito.." napakamot nalang ng ulo si Solar.

"So, what happened?"

"Unti- unti na akong nahuhulog sakanya..."

Ramdam ko na unti- unti na kaming, nagkakamabutihan.. and when I say nagkakamabutihan, mas naging close kami sa isa't isa. Alam kong nahuhulog na ako sakanya, heck nahulog na nga yata ako. Yung simpleng pagka crush ko sakanya, naglevel up. Somehow I know she felt the same.

"Ay wow."

"Shut up Jen, hindi pa ako tapos."

Hindi sa assuming ako, but mararamdaman mo naman kung paano ka pakitunguhan ng tao. My touches seemed to linger a little bit longer than before, yet she doesn't mind it. Nung unang beses akong mag initiate contact, she was so tensed. Hindi daw kasi siya sanay. I kept on teasing her about it.

"Hindi kasi ako sanay.."

"Well, masanay ka na.."

"Umm. Okay.." saying that while smiling fondly at me.

"Ayos ka rin eh, binigyan ng kahulugan.."

"You can't blame me, who can resist her? Plus, I'm a Bae, maganda ako, sino din bang aayaw sa akin? I think were a good much kaya.."

"Hay patawarin Irene. Naririnig mo ba yang sinsabi mo?"

"Of course.."

"Kung hindi ko lang kaibigan tong gagang to, kanina ko pa sinakal.."

"So, what happened madam?"

"Anyare sa inyo?"

"Oh well.."

Dahil assumera nga ako, pinanindigan ko na. I mean, I'm really into her, I'm still into her. Since, then lahat ng kabaitan, sweetness and even small getures niya, hindi ko mapigilang hindi mahulog ng mas malalim. Makita ko lang siya, masaya na ako. Kahit stress na stress na ako sa academics ko, makita ko lang siya every hapon, buo na ng araw ko. Lagi kong hinihiling na sana matapos na agad yung klase namin para makita ko sya sa clubroom.

Then here comes the time where I saw how she looked at me with those captivating eyes of hers, damn I wanted to keep them forever.

But..

I got scared.

I know that look, that kind of look.

Because thats how I look at her. A simple gaze yet full of adoration and admiration. The way she smiles, looking so innocent.

rold bakit po siya ganiyan?

It's all fun and games liking someone, not until you realize they also like you. I mean, the thought of someone likes you back? Parang nakakawala ng excitement at some point but still, you get all mushy inside because someone likes you. That feeling.

Hindi ko naman hiniling na sana gustuhin niya ako pabalik. but when I witnessed the way she looked at me, one thing for sure she feels the same. I got scared all of a sudden. That thought killed me, until now.

"Tangina naman Irene, ang daming paputol putol."

"Passuspense ka pa. Ano ba kasing nangyari?"

"Feeling mo may gusto na rin siya sayo? Tangina naman.."

"Shut up okay? I was being stubborn.. guess that's what love do."

"Oh tapos? Ano nang nangyari? Ano ba to, ang tagal magkwento, daig pa si lola Basiang.."

"Sandalii. I'm trying to build something.. so.."

I came to realize that, maybe infantuated lang ako sakanya. So, before pa mapunta sa kung saan yung kung ano man meron kami, to stop myself from falling deeper: I took the initiative, I needed to stop myself from seeing her. Nag quit ako sa culinary, with a reason na kailangan kong magfocus sa academics ko since nasa final year na kami. That time, I was a candidate na maging valedictorian ng batch namin.

Ayokong umabot sa point na, kung kelan hulog na hulog kami sa isa't isa, hindi pa pala yung tamang panahon, na baka hindi rin pala kami ang para sa isa't isa. Ganun. Different thoughts were flooding my mind, they were all about a drug named, Kang Seulgi.

Besides we're too young to be inlove; that's what I told myself.

Where in fact, I was just practically scared. Scared of the consequences that awaits, scared of judgments, scared of everything. I was still in the closet that time, ano nalang iisipin ng magulang ko?

I was too young and foolish to think that way. Tsaka I don't think na ready akong pumasok sa anomang relasyon that time. I tried to forget my feelings for her but, happens. It just made me miss her more.

Wala na akong balita sakanya. Hindi rin naman siya nag attempt na puntahan ako sa klase. Like, medyo umasa pa man din ako. Hindi ko alam kung namimiss niya din ba ako or what. Hindi naman masakit. Okay lang talaga. Okay lang.

So to forget her, nagpakabusy ako sa studies ko. Until maka graduate ako, hindi na kami nagkita. Hanggang sa tumuntong at magtapos ako ng highschool. Wala akong balita sakanya, kahit isa maski sa mga dati kong schoolmates.

I tried searching for her sa social media, but I guess hindi yata siya fan ng nga ganun.