Everything was suffocating her, from the classical music playing in the background, the small crowds of high-class people to the tight black dress she wore specifically for tonight’s occasion. It was one of those days when she and Jongkook had to be seen together for their weekly date. With all the attention on them after they publicised their relationship, they had spent so much time together and surprisingly, they had gotten along so well to the point they were almost picture-perfect. Like they were too good to be true. 

Well, it was all a lie. Fate seemed to love playing a joke on Jihyo when Jongkook decided to abandon his sanity, got drunk and created a scene in front of his ex-girlfriend’s house, which happened to be in the same building as Jihyo’s. Even when he was sober the next day, he was still insane. He wanted to protect his ex so much from the eyes of the public or his fans that he thought, why not drag Jihyo into this? People love them together. Song Jihyo didn’t have it in her to reject the man who was already a mess and so, being a fool she was, she agreed. What could go wrong?

Tonight was an example of why it was so wrong. Jongkook could be really pitiful, but he could also be an . Jihyo had been waiting for him since two hours ago. The waiter who was friendly at first was now agitated because she had not placed her order. She had been trying to call him, sending him multiple texts that started out of concern and ended with her just cursing him off. She even contacted his manager only to be informed Jongkook met up with his ex-girlfriend after he got back from the gym. The audacity he had. 

Jihyo felt the stare and glances she received. People recognized her and she was being stood up by her famous boyfriend. She was ready to leave a huge tip for the waiter and just bolt out of embarrassment until the chair in front of her was pulled out and there he was. The star of the night, looking anything but sorry. That triggered Jihyo even more. 

“You started without me,” he said, looking at Jihyo’s empty plate. 

“You could have at least sent me a text that you couldn’t make it tonight,” she gritted out, forcing a smile on her face as Jongkook grabbed ahold of her delicate hand. 

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Jihyo wished she could wipe away the smug on his face, “stop acting like a crazy girlfriend because you are not my girlfriend.”

Ouch. That stung. “You know what? I can’t deal with you tonight.” She got up and slapped a $100 tip on the table before she leaned towards the other man, letting him see the hurt he put her through and left a kiss on his forehead. There were cameras flashing as soon as she did that. 

The guilt he felt at that time was eating him. His mood descended after his meeting with his ex, Ah Reum, who accused him of cheating during their time together when he had been loyal and even went as far as faking a relationship to protect her. That was not an excuse to be a to Jihyo. He saw the pain swimming in her brown orbs. He brushed it off immediately. He ordered a salad and finished it on his own before the waiter came to give him his bill. He was surprised to see his food was the only thing listed on the receipt and when he asked the worker if Jihyo already paid for hers, they only said “she didn’t order anything.” He ed up. 

-

They were friends to begin with so it was never awkward for them to hold hands in public, exchanging kisses on the cheeks or forehead and stared into each other’s eyes while knowing there were paparazzi lurking in the vicinity. After all, it was an easy thing to do if there were no feelings involved in the game. Initially, they just laughed it off but at some point, it became harder to pretend there were no sparks when they touched. It became easier to look away rather than drowned in the eyes of the other. The denial that things were getting out of hand and the constant reminder that she was just a shield, restrained them from moving forward. 

The aching feeling was still there, manifesting underneath her ribcage, taking away her sleep and appetite since the dinner incident. If he wanted to be an , be it but be constant and not confuse her. She was so used to the gentle and kind man he was that the mean version of him affected her more than it should. But here she was, helping the sitting up on his bed because he got down with a fever and no one was there to nurse him. As much as there was satisfaction in seeing the man helpless after what he did, Jihyo couldn’t ignore a pang of sadness listening to his whimpers and whines. Damn it. 

“You are such a baby,” she complained as she gently wiped the sweats off his eerily pale skin. “How did you get sick?”

He let out a violent cough before his raspy voice answered, “it was fun playing football in the rain.”

“Is it still fun now? Was it worth it?” He responded with a weak shake of his head. “I do hope so.”

“Stop nagging. You’re not..” 

“Yes, I’m aware I’m not your girlfriend. You don’t have to remind me every second because I know,” she huffed out, tears started to brim as she tried to push her feelings deeper than it already was. 

She was still angry at him. She had every right to be. “I was going to say mother,” he mumbled loud enough for Jihyo to hear, eyes cast on his lap. 

He glanced at the woman who was hovering next to him. Then, he saw it. He found her wearing that look more often lately and he just knew he was the reason behind it all. The entire time he knew her, he had grown protective over Jihyo because she was his good friend. Someone who was like a family to him. He was always that one man she could be open about, whether it was about relationships or even personal matters. He loved being able to be that support for Jihyo, someone she could rely on but lately, it felt like he was dragging her to her downfall. If he could turn back time, he would refuse to bring Jihyo into the mess knowing he would hurt her like this. He just assumed that she would be comfortable enough with him to pretend and not fall for him. Just like all the seasons, feelings, too, were bound to change and he was not sure how he felt about it.

“Ah Reum thought I didn’t love her, you know,” he fidgeted with his fingers. “It made me angry. But I shouldn’t let it out on you. It’s not fair. I admit I’m an .”

“Well, at least you know,” Jihyo rolled her eyes. She knew she was being petty but that was the only way she could protect herself from people playing with her wounds. 

She gave him water after he reluctantly swallowed his medicine, his face contorted into a grimace at the bitter taste. Jongkook never liked getting sick but that never stopped him from going to the gym. He believed he could sweat the sickness off but this time, he just didn’t have the energy. He felt like he had been sick for a while, although it had only been a day. 

The room was filled with silence as Jihyo continued cooling his warm skin with a cold towel, and Jongkook found a new fascination in just looking at the woman. From her wide forehead to her doe eyes down to her sharp nose and finally, her pouty lips as she focused on the task at hand. He wondered how it would taste like if he could capture those enticing lips. The thought got him choked on his saliva, sending him into a coughing fit. Jihyo immediately rushed to pat his back and gave him a glass of water. As he started to calm down and was about to place the glass on the bedside table then he realised how close their bodies were. If he just put forward his head, he could realise his fantasy from minutes ago. He knew what he was doing as he reduced the distance between them and he could feel her breath fanning his face. Just a little bit more…..

A hard shove against his chest pulled him out of reverie. Jihyo quickly stood up, grabbed her belongings and without looking back, leaving him alone drowning in his own puddle of questions. He ed up again.

-

It was obvious Jihyo was avoiding him. He spent the week replaying the scene in his room over and over again. He didn’t know what really pushed him to take a step forward when he had been the one holding them back all this while. At first, he was in denial, blaming it on the fever but as he recovered, he still found himself longing to be within her proximity, wrapped her petite body in his arms and devoured her luscious lips. Where did this come from? When Ah Reum came to see him again at the end of the week to return all his belongings that were left in her apartment, he was confused with the faint aching feeling in his chest and his heart no longer beat as it used to at the presence of the woman. He didn’t even realise that their relationship had really ended and she cut the last string connecting them together. He was in a daze from then on until he was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind running in circles with a lot of questions. Sleep never came to him that day.

When lights started to conquer his dark room, he still did not feel like getting out