Finding a spot under the big old tree nearby the building, I quickly parked my car and turned off the engine. I laid my back on the car seat as I loosen my grip on the steering wheel.

“I can do this.” I whispered to myself and took a deep breathe, relaxing my body. My phone vibrated inside my pocket and I fished it out to check who texted.

The message is from Suho-hyung.

From: Kim Junmyeon

Where are you Kyungsoo?

I sighed when I read his text message. I forgot to tell them that I will be leaving the dorm this morning to go somewhere. They must have been worried.

To: Kim Junmyeon

I’m out to do something important. I’ll be back later before our schedule.

From: Kim Junmyeon

Take care then. Don’t be out too late.

I smiled a little when I read his reply. We are really lucky to have him as our leader. He always takes a good care of us and often put us first before himself.

I placed my phone back to my pocket and reached for the bouquet that has been sitting on the passenger seat. Taking another deep breathe, I removed my seatbelt and stepped outside my car.

*

“Help me!”

I heard her soft voice calling out for me again, the one that was always laced with pain and hoarse from crying.

“Please, help me.”

Hyejin-ah.

I opened my eyes and saw nothing but darkness around me. I started to feel uneasy, my chest was tightening and I could feel my breathe shortens.

This dream again.

I turned my back and started running to the opposite direction where the voice was coming from, even if there’s nothing I could see but pitch black. But the voice keeps on following me, as if telling me I have nowhere to go, that what I’m doing was hopeless, I could never escape this nightmare.

“Help me.” The voice cried out again, this time a little louder than before, louder than it ever was. I stopped running out of exhaustion. I shouted at frustration, running was never going to work here.

“Please, help me Kyungsoo-yah.” I felt a hand over my shoulder. I turned to looked at it but I saw nothing. I started to feel terrified, more terrified than I ever was.

Would it get me this time, after all those running for years? I could feel myself finally giving up. There’s no use in running anyway. I’ve tried and tried but at the end, it still got me. Maybe it deserved this. NO – I really deserved this. I could never escape my demons, this time, they will finally consumed me and –

“Kyungsoo-yah…” Hyejin’s voice called out again, but this time it was not in pain. This time it sounded like she used to be when we were together, but the voice is from distant unlike the previous one. Surprise and confusion washed over me but at the same time I felt the urged and desperation in seeing and calling her out.

I have been having this nightmare over and over again since she was gone. But this part was something that has never happened before. She had never called me in that tone. Maybe this was my mind playing with me. Maybe this was me trying to cope up with everything. Maybe this was my demon telling me to go. I don’t want to, I know I don’t want to give up. But if I’m with her, even if how terrified I am right now, I know, I would willingly go.

If she’s really here, I want, no - NEED to see her. Maybe she hasn’t gone to the other side. Maybe like me, she’s still stuck on this nightmare, alone in this darkness. But, she don’t have to anymore. I’ll be with her, I will always be. So I tried to search for her. It was already my time now, isn’t?

“H-Hyejin-ah…” I tried to called out for her. Even if it was useless, I turned my head left and right, looking for her.

“Where are you?” I tried asking her again. Panic starting to build up inside my body, my heart beating faster. I felt like I was running out of time, that if I won’t find and reach her now, I will never.

“Kyungsoo-oppa…” she called out again, her sweet voice softly echoing from different directions. Every call was softer than before, more distant than the previous. It sounded like she’s going away, away from me, away from everyone. I closed my eyes as they both started to water.

“Please, Hyejin-ah…” I begged as I started to run again, pointlessly running towards the darkness ahead of me. I ran as fast as I could, as far as I can before my knees gave up and I was kneeling on the ground.

“Hyejin-ah!” I cried out loud and shouted repeatedly but I cannot hear her voice now. Are my ears still working? Maybe or maybe not, since all I could hear were my voice and my crying.

“Let me see you…” I begged in soft voice for the last time. My fist started to pound the ground angrily. My breathing was uneven and my eyes sting due to crying. I closed my eyes once again, trying to calm myself. No, I cannot be like this, I cannot let myself panic.

I will not let her be alone anymore. I will find her even if that would mean that I will not leave this place. Even if that would also mean that I would never wake up from this nightmare. I cannot let her be alone in this place. I will find her.

Feeling determined because of this, I pushed myself to stand up. But the moment I stood up, blinding white light eat me up.

*

My footsteps felt heavy as I walked towards where she is. I’m felt nervous going here because my last, no, every encounter I had with them didn’t end up well, but she’s right – I need to face this now

I have been avoiding them for years since I don’t want them to feel more pain whenever they see me. Also, I don’t want my members to be worried whenever I came in contact with her bro