[Chapter 19]

How pathetic. How selfish he is for doing this. Did he have no shame? These were the thoughts his inner demons were whispering to him.

The male lied still as he tangled himself with her body, resting head his in her lap. Gayeon sat still in one place, fingers combing through the strands of his raven hair, she allowed him to curl himself up to her body.

Chenle felt shameful. How could he have the audacity to cling onto her like this? His plan was to keep her as far from himself as possible. Obviously, he failed himself. It was too late, he was already falling into this abyss.

He was curled up to her as if he was a petrified child, desperately searching for protection and comfort. And she didn’t mind that. In fact, she didn’t even see him the same way he did.

He was no crier nor would he ever admit in doing so, but even then, the pain and fear were all visible upon his face. Gayeon continuously combed through the locks of his hair to bring him comfort; all while letting him cuddle up to her. He was just so scared- no, terrified. He wanted to stay like this for at least a second. He wanted this so badly and if he were to let go now, would she disappear too?

His poor heart was racing immensely from simply being in her vicinity. How could be so selfish? Did he forget she could get hurt because of him? She felt tense up once again as his inner demons were working its ways to get into his head. She used her right hand to draw circles on his back; for some reason, that method always seemed to work on him. He was still mortified by the endless thoughts surging through his mind. “I really don’t want to hurt you...” He said in almost a whisper.

“Why do you keep saying that? You’re not going to.” From her remark, the male untangled himself from her, propping himself up to sit, leaving her in confusion.

He blankly stared at her before using his right hand to wrap around her neck. It was in a rather swift motion and the girl’s eyes widened as panic overwhelmed her body. She thought his grip was going to tighten around her neck, but he eventually let her go. Gayeon, now terrified from what he had done, was trying to gasp for air.

“See? I can kill at any time and you won’t expect it.” Eyes never leaving hers, it was obvious from the way she looked at him that she was terrified. Her chest rose and fell at a quicker pace as her eyes focused on the male. Gayeon tensed up and gulped nervously when his hand was brought up to cup her cheek. “It’s okay to be scared of me. You should be. See what I mean when I say I can hurt you?”

She nodded nervously, nervous that he might do something to demonstrate how much of a danger he is to her again. Why does he have to do that to himself? Why does he have to try to scare her off like that?

The boy was selfish.