Song Jihyo had always been that person who would have a hard time waking up but that morning, it was different. The first thing she noticed was the splitting headache and the sunray penetrating through her curtain made it even worse. Her body felt like she had been run over by a truck. After minutes of contemplating and groaning, she gathered all her willpower to finally get out of bed and get ready for work.

She almost chuckled at the sight in front of her. She would laugh if she wasn’t so exhausted. Staring at her was a woman looking like blood had drained out of her system and there were shadows underneath her tired eyes. The image disappeared when she forced open the cabinet to grab a bottle, tapped two pills into her palm and popped them in dry. Next, she wanted some caffeine.

-

There was a round of applause and cheers greeted her as she entered the waiting room of Running Man. She winced at the noise and her body involuntarily curled at the sharp pain jolting up her spine. However, this went unnoticed by the members and they just thought she was simply startled. As it turned out, their morning started out with the news that Song Jihyo and Kim Jongkook were apparently searching for a wedding hall. How could she not know about this? She looked for her manager to find him just shrugged. This man never cared. It was good publicity for him. Jihyo let her eyes wander around the room to find a particular person and when she did find him, he was frowning at his phone. His eyebrows furrowed as he frantically typing on his screen, obviously dealing with the issue. 

“This is annoying,” he yelled. He looked so ready to throw his phone and if it wasn’t for the presence of others in the space at that moment, he would not even bother to suppress his anger. “Ridiculous. Why would I even want to get married to Jihyo?”

Jihyo knew it was a harmless statement. Just a man admitting he didn’t have any romantic feelings towards a woman. After all, they were friends. Best friends in fact. So why did it hurt? She felt the prickling sensation beneath her ribcage and she gently massaged her chest in an attempt to soothe the pain but it was futile. This wasn’t the first rumor about them being together was spread and each time both of them would laugh it off, even made a joke out of it sometimes. But why did he react the way he was reacting? She couldn’t help the pessimism jumped onto her train of thoughts. Was he getting tired of it? Was he protecting someone? Did he finally come to realize Jihyo and him would not have a chance of being together romantically? 

She couldn’t take it anymore. She slipped out of the room without anyone noticing and she made a run to the bathroom where she immediately dunked her head into the sink, throwing up all the non existent food in her stomach. The acid burned and she swore she had a hard time breathing for a few seconds before she could calm herself down. Her back hit the door and her body just slid down to the floor. The day had not even started yet so many things had happened and she was so drained. 

“Just bear with it, Jihyo. You can do this,” she whispered to herself.

-

She decided to avoid the waiting room and went straight to a designated space where they would film an opening scene for the episode. She didn’t miss the surprised look on some of the staffs’ faces but she just ignored it and wished everyone a good morning. The pounding in her head worsened and she felt her body trembling underneath her baggy clothes. She hid her shaky fingers inside the long sleeve shirt. She pretended to be curious, looking around not staying in place just so no one could see her wobbly legs. 

The members when they saw her. Well, at least they had stopped talking about the marriage rumor that definitely left a sour taste in Jongkook’s mouth, judging from his expression. She was so lost in her thoughts while everyone else was talking. 

“Why are you standing next to me?” Someone whined.

Jihyo just stared at the owner of the voice, who was looking at her with annoyance and there was anger in his eyes. She wanted to defend herself but nothing came up. The tone he used was completely new to her and what was even more painful, the camera hadn’t rolled and he wasn’t pretending to be angry. Jongkook was angry. He was angry at Jihyo.

“You are ridiculous. She stood there first. Why are you in a bad mood?” Jaeseok retorted, clearly not pleased with Jongkook’s attitude. 

“People would misunderstand. It was tiring. Dealing with all the calls and texts,” he replied as he moved away from Jihyo and stood next to Somin. “Don’t come any closer to me today.”

A hand came up to Jihyo’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze, pulling her out of a maze of thoughts. “Are you okay? Don’t worry about him,” Donghoon assured, giving her a tight smile which she replied with a nod. 

When the cameras were finally on, Jihyo didn’t miss the way Jongkook was being extra touchy with Somin and the way they were clinging onto each other. Jihyo was relieved when happiness returned to his face, laughing and smiling, instead of frustration and hatred that were reserved mainly for Jihyo. 

-

If she had access to soaps at that moment, she swore she could prepare a bubble bath with the amount of sweat she produced. It was a scorching hot day and the episode just happened to be done outdoors. The mission was pretty straight forward where they were given a list of restaurants around the neighborhood and the shop that had the least number of Running Man members would win. The winners would be given benefits for the next round. It started out pretty intense, with everyone threatening each other jokingly. 

Jihyo mindlessly walked down the sidewalk as the others had run off to their place of interest but she was still stuck in the conversation earlier. 

“Don’t come any closer to me today.” 

“This is annoying.”

The pounding pain made her breath hitched and her eyes tightly shut. When she opened them, she was met with a pair of worried orbs that within a second, morphed into displeasure. It was probably her wishful thinking that Jongkook would be concerned about her wellbeing when he was having so much fun with Somin who had her hands wrapped around his bicep like a kid. The ugly feeling inside her returned as she tore her eyes away from the scene. Maybe if the rumor was about the Somin, instead of her, maybe Jongkook wouldn’t have to suffer so much.

-

She had lost track of time and place as she was chased away by the members. Just today, she didn’t have the will to fight for the first place so the moment she was told off to find another restaurant because she would take away their chance of getting a prize, she just nodded her head and dragged her tired body under the hot weather. When she finally arrived at the furthest restaurant which served seafood, she slumped in her seat without acknowledging and celebrating that she was alone, potentially winning the first round. 

Her breathing felt short and the invisible heaviness weighing down on her chest was suffocating her. She couldn’t do it but there was this determination that upheld her to just sit up and continue with filming. No one seemed to notice her condition yet so she would need to keep up her front until she crumbled. When the ahjumma had finally set up the table, Jihyo said thank you and marveled loudly at the food even though she could sense nausea coming back, full force. She forced it down multiple times that it was no longer working. 

She stood up abruptly and she regretted it immediately. She began to panic when dark spots emerged and as if on instinct, she grabbed the edge of the table but she underestimated her body strength at times of desperation. Despite the darkness she was pulled into, she could still hear a commotion from far away and she felt the burning pain stinging her arms. There was a loud thud, hands roaming around her body and Jihyo wanted to cry at the unbearable ache in her head. It was all too much for her and just like th