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k.t.h – dec '20

There's something beautiful
about loving you, Kim Taehyung.

You are the very meaning of joy.
You filled my heart full;
and yet why am I not content?

Like a rose with thorns,
the tighter i hold you,
the deeper the wounds; the darker the scars.

Even so,
I still don't want to let this go.

lee aeri

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"Where are you going?" Jungkook grabbed Ae-Ri's wrist. She stopped her movements and turned around, "I'm going to get some fresh air. The smoke is too much for me to handle." she said as she tried to pull her hand away from him.

"Do you want me to come with?" he offered.

Ae-Ri's gaze then locked on the pair in front of them, Yeona and Taehyung was laughing about something. Ae-Ri's bet it was Taehyung who made the joke since Yeona was laughing harder than the boy next to her. Jungkook followed her gaze; a strike of pain run through his heart once again. Jungkook stood up and blocked the view from Ae-Ri, "Hey... You want me to come with you?" he asked again.

Ae-Ri snapped out of her daydream and answered, "It's okay, I want to be alone." she said. A corcern look was all over Jungkook's face, Ae-Ri knew that look all too well. She chuckled, "Don't give me that look, Koo. I'm just going to the beach over there. You can practically see me from here. See?" She pointed at the direction. Ae-Ri was right; Jungkook can clearly see the beach and there was a couple walking along the shore. Jungkook eyed her once again, pleading her to take him with her.

"Jungkook! Jimin! I need your help with this!" Jin's shouting voice was heard. Both him and Ae-Ri turned their attention to Jin.

"Go. I'll be fine. You can watch me from here. Okay?" She reassured him and pushed him towards Jin's direction.

"I'll run to you if I don't see you from here, got that?" Jungkook warned., pointing his index finger right at her nose.

Ae-Ri giggled, "Okayy. okay! Whatever you say, Koo..." she rolled her eyes before walking away from the bonfire.

~~~

Ae-ri walked along the empty beach, the cold wet sand squished between her toes. She watched as the salt water comes in small waves, occasionally run through her feet. The salty sea wind gently blew her raven locks away; the air was cold but she wasn't bothered by it. Somehow, it soothes her. If it was during the sun set, the sky would've had been painted with magnificent pink and orange with a mixture of lilac shades. But it was actually night time. The sky was exceptionally beautiful; the scatter of shimmering stars of the pitch black sky was especially breath-taking with the full moon near the horizon. The sea was glimmering as the moonlight cast upon it; almost look like a mirror reflecting the stars above.

She took a deep breath; taking it all. The air, the view, the nature; admiring them dearly. The scenery inspired her to write something but then she realized that she left her journal at the bonfire. She sighed in disappointment. Ae-Ri didn't know why and how she started to write down her feelings in her journal. But ever since she was a little kid, she wasn't really good in expressing what she was feeling. She believed that if she smile and laugh a lot, she would be happy. At least that was she was told by her parents. Therefore, whenever she feels down or in pain, she would try her best not to show it to people; and will write it down somewhere. It was in high school when she had her first journal; Jungkook gave it as a birthday present.

Jungkook. He is her childhood friend and the only person who had saw her broken, flawed side. It was completely an accident. Ae-Ri never thought Jungkook would sneak into her bedroom in the middle of the night after his fight with his parents. He found her on the cold floor; eyes were puffy, her lower lips was bleeding as she had bit it a little too hard when she was holding back her voice, body was trembling from the piercing pain in her heart. That night, she was not smilling; she was not laughing; she was not flawless. Jungkook didn't take too much time being dumbfounded and quickly pulled her into an embrace. That was the night when she showed Jungkook her other side; her darkness, her shadow. That is why Jungkook had make it his tradition to give Ae-Ri journal as gifts on each of her birthday.

"Maybe i should stop and just let go..." Ae-Ri thought to herself.

She stopped her movements and face towards the sea. Step by step she walked towards the thick cold water, her skin sensed the freezing substance run through her feet. The water level increased as her steps were further away from the shore. The coldness and the wetness didn't bother Ae-Ri at all. Not one bit. She let out a sigh as the water reached her chest area.

"LEE AERI!" she heard someone shouted her name. The sound of the waves interfere her sense of sound. Without turning around to see the man behind her, she assumed, "JEON JUNGKOOK! I SAID NOT TO DISTU--" she shouted but he sentence was cut of as she was lifted from her feet.

"T-taehyung?" she stuttered as her hand wrapped around his neck. Clear panic was on his face. She never saw this version of Taehyung before, she was intrigued despite being confused on why Taehyung was there and why does he look dreadful.

Taehyung fought his way through the water, gripping Ae-Ri closed to him. As soon as the reached the shore. He threw her and himself on the sandy floor. She whimpered as she landed on the ground, Taehyung hovered over her body, trapping her in between his hands. Both of them can feel the waves of water touched their legs every once in awhile. Taehyung was breathing heavily; gasping for air.

"Tae--"

"What the were you thinking?!" Taehyung shouted; his hand grasped on the sand, causing Ae-Ri to gasp in shock.

"What do you mean--"

"You said you love me! Then why the are you drowning yourself? Do want me to suffer from losing you?" Despite still shouting at the fragile girl under him, Taeh