Day 9

Baekhyun pov

It hurt so much. It wasn't supposed to hurt at all. All my wounds that I made stopped hurting after a night, but this ones just got worse. Once I fell in the water my wounds from cutting screamed because of the salty water. It was not just that. Once Chanyeol managed to pull me out I felt them ripping appart from the force that he used. I couldn't blame him for opening them again, but it hurt horribly. It was only then that I noticed the fresh blood pour through my shirt and stain it red. It couldn't possibly happen.

I couldn't lie here and neither I knew how to lie about that. It was not possible to hurt yourself here on beach with only sand around. Chanyeol wouldn't belive me and he would know that I cut even though I told him othervise. Luckily he didn't push me into speaking with my bad attitude on.

I locked myself in the bathroom and immediatelly pulled off the shirt that was now soaked in blood. I didn't think of my wounds yet, but threw the shirt into a sink and washed off the blood. I then let it dry and focused on my wounds.

The skin on my chest was swollen and painfully red. It was not only blood flowing out of the cuts, but there was this yellow liquid that nearly made me throw up. I knew immediatelly what had happened. My wounds got infected and this could mean nothing good. I didn't know what to do with this. It was sweeling and the blood didn't want to get off. 

I stepped into the shower, washing the wounds with the water, it kept bleeding and it made my eyes tear as I feared of what will possibly happen with infection. Next 15 minutes I spent only pressing toilet paper on my wounds as I had nothing else to do. I didn't have first aid here and I surely wouldn't tell Chanyeol about this. I didn't want him to now about my lie and the infection too. It was my mess and I was going to fix it myself.

In some time the wounds finally stopped with the horrible bleeding and I could finally remove the toilet paper.

I had nothing else to do, but wait and hope that the infection wouldn't get bigger. I pulled on a big oversized t-shirt that once belonged to Chanyeol, but I took it as my night clothes since it was more comfortable. I didn't put on any bottom and looked like wearing a dress that came to the middle of my thighs. The shirt was black and if I started bleeding again, the blood wouldn't be seen, so I had nothing to worry about. 

I had left the bathroom and found Chanyeol standing and waiting for me. He looked worried and walked to me, taking my hand in his and looked at me. I managed to force out a smile and looked back at him.

"Baekhyun, are you alright?" He asked and on that I let my eyes fall and smile fade away.

"I am sorry, Chanyeol," I sighed, but didn't mean to tell him anything of what was happening to me.

"If anything is bothering you, you can tell me. I will accept anything," he said and for the second time I sighed.

"No, everything is alright," I lied again. I was not going to tell him. I could fix things myself. 

In the next moment Chanyeol carefully pulled me into a hug and I hugged him back. I was on the edge of crying. The thought of lying to him made me feel bad and sick. He was so good with me and made sure I was alright, but I still gave him lies in reply. I hated myself for doing it. He left a kiss on the top of my head and made me feel warmth, but the thoughts of lying to him were making me back away. I feared that he might find out of my infection and cutting.

He gave me so much in only 9 days and I was paying him this way. After the kiss that we had in the sea I only wanted to give myslef to him. I wanted to be his again, but the thoughts of how I lied to him and self harmed made me numb in talking to him. I didn't show him how I felt and avoinded him. I wished that I hadn't destroyed the day and just enjoyed my time with him, but my wouldns made it impossible.

We went to bed soon after Chanyeol took shower. He tried to get me into a hug in bed, but I resisted. I felt wrong hugging him after so many lies, so I only let him hold my hand, my fingers crossed over his..

That night I had nightmares again, but asside from Chanyeol being with Juhyun, I had a horrible dream of my cutting and lies that had ghosted me. I didn't sleep well at all and later woke up tired again. I hated how I kept looking worse after sleeping. The taller one knew I had nightmares, but I didn't let him question it at all. I just avoided him at night and pretended like everything was alright.

Day 10

It was near noon when I woke up from the long night, feeling like someone had beaten me up last night. Chanyeol had already left the bed and was fully ready to start the day. 

"Good morning kid," he said and ruffled my hair as he walked to me, leaving a quick kiss on my forehead, which I didn't fight off. I was too tired to do anything about it.

"M-Mornin'. W-Why didn't you wake me up earlier?" I asked and rubbed my eyes. Chanyeol just shrugged.

"I thought you deserve a longer sleep, since you didn't look like sleeping at night," he said truthfully. 

"I slept just well," I muttered another lie.

"As you say. You can't go back in time now," he said and was right about it.

I sat up from the bed and immediatelly got in touch with pain from my chest. I was sure that my infection was just spreading on, but I could do nothing about it. I was forced to just deal with it.

"Would you go out to swim in the sea?" Chanyeol asked now. I looked at him in shock. I didn't think of swimming yet and I was sure that I didn't want it at all. It was going to just make my infection worse. I was ready to tell him off, but then remembered that I had to keep my infection a secret and I had no excuses for him.

I slowly nodded and was forced to change my clothes into something to swim. Of course Chanyeol thought of bringing my swimming clothes alongside and handed me mine. I had a horrible problem. I needed anything to wear on the top. I was not going to show him my infection.

"Umm... Chanyeol?" I slowly started and an idea popped up in my head.

"Yes, what is it?" he asked, waiting for me to speak up.

"Shall we wear shirts or something. I think its a bit dangerous to be just now at noon when sun is the highest," I said and prayed that he would agree.

"Oh, well, alright. You are right. We don't want any sunburns," he said and made me relax. At least I knew that my infection was going to stay well hidden. 

It took us some time to get ready to leave the hotel, but at last we were walking side by side in our swimming trunks and shirts, I with a black shirt again to hide blood if I started to bleed again. We had towels truough our shoulders and walked hand in hand.

I couldn't help but gasp at the beautiful view of the sea and beach that opened in front of us.

"Let's run inside," Chanyeol suggested and threw off his towel, so it reminded on the sand. He looked like he was waiting for this all this life, so excited and happy.

"R-Run?" I said, afraid of even touching the water again. 

"You know how to run, don't you? Slow is boring, feels old and I don't want to look like grandpa," he said, too excited to enter the sea.

"I- alright. Let's run," I said and left my own towel next to Chanyeol's. Once again our hands locked together and the next moment we were in a run to enter the water. The salty water that was going to make me hurt. So fine hurt. I will totally be fine. It will not hurt so much, right? Oh it hurts.

Once our legs were in the sea we started to struggle to run on and water was splashing in all possible directions. Our hands parted and I saw how Chanyeol jumped into the water fully and swam on. However I stopped and watched how the taller one ejoyed himself.

"Come here Baekhyun!" he said as he saw me stand in the water to my hips.

I hesitated at first, but had no other choice, but to swim with him. When I felt water touch my chest I gave a whine as my wound cried in pain. I cleched my teeth and pulled up a smile, pretending like everything is fine.

Painfully I swam to Chanyeol who was on the level where I couldn't feel the ground anymore and had to swing my hands and legs to keep myself on the air. I laughed at Chanyeol as I reached him, forgetting the pain as I saw him so happy to be in water. 

"Swim further," I heard him say, but before I could protest he was already on his way to the deeper part of the sea. I couldn't just stay here. I forced myself in swimming behind him. I felt my wounds cry horribly as I swung my hands and legs to catch up with the taller one, who was far away already. I am going to die here. Why do we have to swim that far?! I don't like it. I don't want to play this anymore. It hurts me too much.

"Chanyeol wait!" I said painfully, feeling my voice tremble.

"Common, this is not even fast," he said and speed up, braging around.

"Ch-Chan- I can't- I don't like this," I said and felt tears rush into my eyes. My wounds were stabbing me with pain and made it hard for me to breathe. All my air in me got heavy and felt like I was holding rocks. I was gasping around for air that didn't seem to get into me to satisfy me.

"At least come here!" he said and stopped on one spot that was still far away from me. 

"I-I don't- f-feel well," I cried at last as I felt a sick feeling crawl through my body. I felt like throwing up and cough out all the blood that I had in me. I felt my muscles asche and my ribs in chest felt like breaking into pieces. I stopped swimming in Chanyeol's diraction and the last I did was to keep me up to air, but failed in this too. I was feeling more and more dizzy and all the pain was making it hard for me to breathe.

"Ch- Chanyeol- h-help m-" I said quietly and then gave up. My eyes rolled to the top of my head and my legs stopped working. I hugged myself together and without keeping my breath I drowned in water. 

Pain.

So much pain

My chest, legs, muscles, wounds.

Pain that I never felt before. Oh just make it stop please. I don't want to feel this anymore. It is so so sooo bad. So sick. I don't want to feel it anymore. Let it stop.

I was choking. Water that I tried to breathe was making me choke and I cravled into a ball unable to do anything about it. Every cell of my body was burning and fighting. 

I don't want to die.

Someone please. Help. Stop this pain. 

Chanyeol. I want Chanyeol. Where is he? Chanyeol come to me. Help me out, please. I am sorry for everything. Please forgive me. I am so sorry. Don't leave me.

It was just then that I felt a pair of hands that pulled me up. I couldn't see and still felt like choking. I was all numb and my body depended on the hands that held me now. My sould felt like parting with my body that was pulled roughly.

"BAEKHYUN!!!"  I heard my name, but it felt distant, just like I was still in the depths of the water that swallowed me up whole. I was still falling into darkness. I nearly heard it like a whisper from really far away. 

Yes..... Here you go..... I am sorry guys.... I just can't making this sad chapters. Right after some nice moments it is ed up again :))

Enjoy~ I love you (you already know this, but gotta remind you in case anyone forgot. I feel like torturing you all wih this story)