longing for her

"i think i'm going crazy now, heeyeon." seulgi walks around the room, two fingers nibbling her lips. "this is insane."

heeyeon closes her laptop and turns to her friend. "okay. just hold yer horses right there. what is wrong, my friend?"

"i... i can't stop thinking about her." seulgi scratches the back of her neck. "it's like my brain keeps thinking about her every second of every day. and it's been over two years now!"

"who? your wife?" heeyeon rummages through the papers and shows a sketch of a female character. "or this irene?"

"her!" seulgi points at the sketch. "but not that character. the person. the one i met at the resort."

"ah. your soulmate."

seulgi stops on her tracks and sighs. "yeah. my soulmate."

"still regretting you didn't try persuading to know her more?"

"i don't know. it didn't feel right at that time when we met. i just got married, and she has a partner too. we don't want to ruin what we have only because we found each other."

"but you're still thinking about her?"

"yeah. like a lot. i dream about her often." seulgi runs her fingers through her hair. "the funny thing is, it was eunae who made me realize irene's the character i've been drawing since then."

"mmm-mmm."

"i felt like everything around me stopped when it dawned on me, you know. it's like since i was a kid i've always dreamt about her. i always thought it was eunae, but when i met irene, i knew it was her. it was her all along."

heeyeon taps her fingers on the table, twisting her chair on the other side. "let's say you meet her again, this irene, what would you do?"

seulgi shrugs. "i... i honestly don't know..."

"do you have plans of divorcing your wife or something?"

"no. no. that's out of the picture," seulgi says immediately. "there is no way i would hurt eunae like that. no. i can't do that to her."

"but that's what soulmates are about, right? you finding your other half to spend the rest of your lives together?"

"i..." seulgi sighs, helpless. "i just want to see her. i want to know who she is. i want to fill these questions in my head, hoping that maybe after that i'll be able to move on from her. sometimes it's the uncertainty that sparks the interest, you know. i am certain that's what i'm going through right now."

heeyeon hums. "so, you are saying you don't have plans of pursuing her romantically?"

"no way."

"and you just want to have answers to all your questions about her identity so you can stop thinking about her?"

"yes. that's right." seulgi nods eagerly. "and as i've said, it's been over two years now since i've last seen her. who knows, maybe she's also married now. there's no way we would go down that romantic road. or maybe we can be good friends. we're soulmates after all."

"friends." heeyeon chuckles. "how would you introduce her to your wife? 'hey, boo, meet irene, my new close friend who looks exactly like the character i've been drawing since we were kids. by the way, she's my soulmate. but doncha worry because we're just platonic friends. i am not attracted to her'."

seulgi grabs the nearest throw pillow in her reach and throws it to her friend's direction, who laughs.

"you look like a grumpy bear," heeyeon says, still laughing. "that's what you get for not believing in soulmates. see how the spirits are playing on you now?"

"yah. ahn heeyeon-ee you're not helping at all!"

heeyeon wipes her tears with her fingers. "okay. okay. i'll be serious now." she sniffs and composes herself. "look. to make you feel better, i seriously think you need to see her again."

"you do?"

"yes. you've been restless for over two years now. i seriously think you won't be able to get over that unless you see her again," heeyeon says. "i'm not sure what will happen after. what i'm sure of is you need to see each other again. maybe she's experiencing the same thing, you know. you're soulmates after all."

"but how will i be able to find her? i don't know anything about her."

"well..." heeyeon turns to reopen her laptop and types something on the search bar. "ever heard of the theory of six degrees of separation?"

"never heard." seulgi closes their distance to look over her friend's shoulder. "what's that all about?"

"it says here all people in the world are six, or can be fewer, social connections away from each other. which means," heeyeon turns to her friend, "you and this soulmate of yours aren't that far from each other. a friend of a friend of a friend may know her."

"oh. that's... that's cool. but where should i start?"

"that i don't know." heeyeon turns back to her laptop. "what i know is, if it's the spirits' will you two are tied to each other, they will find a way for you to see each other again. they will use instruments, people, for that to happen."

heeyeon props her elbows on the table and rests her chin on her clasped hands.

"after that, i don't know what their next plan is."