closing doors: one
INEVITABLEthere was a buzz on her door.
joohyun doesn't recall ordering for anything or having someone coming over. she plans to ignore it, but the buzzer is persistent.
irritated, joohyun slightly opens her door to peek at the mystery buzzer. a paperbag was raised to her face, blocking her view.
"tteokbokki delivery!" the familiar voice says.
joohyun need not to check further to know who the person is. "seulgi? what are you doing here?"
seulgi's head pops on the side, a cheeky smile on her face. "visiting my girlfriend."
that doesn't explain seulgi's presence at her doorstep today. but of course, it's enough to make joohyun smile. she closes the door to unlock all the locks and reopens it.
"i thought it's eunae's off until tomorrow?" she pulls seulgi inside.
"something came up at work. they called her in to cover for a colleague," seulgi says as they saunter over to the kitchen to put the food down.
"does that mean you'll stay here for the night?"
with a hand on her nape, seulgi looks at joohyun apologetically. "umm. well. eunae will come back home this evening."
"oh." joohyun pouts.
"but we do have the whole day to spend together." seulgi pinches joohyun's chin. "i'll do whatever you want. we'll watch whatever movie you like."
that somehow managed to bring back the smile on joohyun's face.
yeah. it's better than not seeing seulgi at all.
"let's just be close like this the whole day then." she hugs seulgi's arm to her chest.
seulgi looks at her intently, like she's the most beautiful thing in the world. but joohyun also knows that look means a lot of stuff is running over her soulmate's mind.
whatever it is, seulgi shrugs it off with a smile. "whatever my hyunnie wishes then."
joohyun leans her head against seulgi's arm as the latter leads her to the couch.
she wishes this day won't end.
---
they spent the entire day cozied up on the couch, watching movies and eating tteokbokki.
like before, joohyun's a happy baby again. seulgi's usual random kisses here and there, and the whispers of love in joohyun's ear sends her heart fluttering and keeps weakening her knees.
joohyun loves it because affections like that assure her that no matter what happens, it's going to be her and seulgi in the end.
---
it was around dusk when things started to heat up between them.
joohyun isn't sure if it's because of the hot bed scene from the movie they just watched, or if it's because she knows seulgi would be leaving sooner or later, but she finds herself eager to make love--to make sure she feels seulgi before she leaves.
her last talk with eunae left an irksome impression on her--haunting her to this day. thinking about seulgi getting intimate with her wife can immediately set joohyun on fire.
she knows there's no point telling seulgi about it. she can't stop seulgi from doing it with eunae, especially now that they don't want to raise suspicions.
but still, hearing the confirmation from eunae makes joohyun's blood boil.
thinking about the possibility that something like that might happen to seulgi and eunae tonight is too much for joohyun to take.
so before that happens, joohyun's going to claim what's hers first.
she will make sure no one else can make seulgi feel good the way she can.
with that desire in mind, joohyun pushes seulgi back on the couch and straddles her. she distracts her soulmate with a kiss while her fingers were busy ing seulgi's shirt.
her hand then explores seulgi's smooth abs. she inwardly smiles when the other woman reacted to her touch.
this is mine, joohyun thinks.
she then pulls away to adjust her position--to stare at seulgi's body.
satisfied with what she's seeing, she leans in to execute her plans. but halfway there, something caught her eyes.
a mark.
a small purplish mark on the soft skin just below seulgi's left collarbone.
and it's looking right back at joohyun, taunting her.
joohyun grits her teeth and pulls back.
"what's wrong?" seulgi asks.
joohyun wants to say it was nothing, but she can't look away from that awful insult.
"hyunnie?" this time, seulgi looks at the said spot and finally understands the situation. "." she looks at joohyun with worried eyes. "i can explain."
"no." joohyun stands up and steps back. seulgi follows.
"joohyun, please."
"when did you get that?"
"hyunnie, please..."
"i asked when the hell did you get that!" joohyun raises her voice, swatting seulgi away who's trying to hold her. "was that this morning? or before you went here?"
seulgi looks down. "l-last night..."
joohyun looks away, a hand on her head.
"i'm sorry, hyunnie... i... i have said no many times to her recently, and last night i just ran out of excuses..."
"that's not the point, seulgi!" joohyun looks back at the taller woman. "that's not the point!"
seulgi presses her lips together, looking like a kid getting a scold from her mom.
"it's already hard for me to accept that i am sharing you with another woman. do you even know how exactly i feel about that?" joohyun points at herself. "i would never be able to put into words the pain i feel every time you leave or whenever eunae talks about you during our meetings. but did you hear me say anything about it? did you hear me complain?"
seulgi shakes her head. her eyes are watery now.
"i did everything i can to not put pressure on you because i don't want to add to your problems," joohyun continues. "but you coming here with that..." she points a finger. "... that freaking mark on you. what are you trying to do? are you insulting me?"
"i swear that's not my intention, hyunnie. i didn't know i have this..." seulgi kneels on the floor and hugs joohyun around her waist. "i'm sorry. i never wanted to hurt you."
"just tell me the truth, seulgi. do you really have plans of leaving your wife?"
seulgi looks up at her and nods.
"do you really love me?" joohyun asks. seulgi nods again. "then why are you... why are you hurting me this much...?"
when her voice betrays her, joohyun covers . seulgi stands up on her feet and cages joohyun in her arms.
"i'm sorry. i'm sorry. let me make this right, hyunnie. let me make this right."
"i'm tired of this, seulgi... i'm so tired of this..." joohyun's shoulders are shaking. "i should be the one you're with all the time. i shouldn't be hiding like this..."
seulgi hugs her tighter. "please. give me a chance. i'll... i'll tell eunae about us tonight. i'll do it whatever it takes."
"and what if she asks you to stay, to make it work out?"
"i'll... i'll tell her--"
" this !" joohyun steps back, shoving seulgi away. "you can't even stand up for me now. how do you expect to do it with your wife, huh?"
it took seulgi a couple of moments to come up with something. "i promise you i'll do it tonight. i'm sure i'll do it this time, hyunnie... please listen to me..."
joohyun shakes her head. "let's stop this, seulgi."
"s-stop what?"
"this. let's stop this now."
"b-but we can't... you know we can't."
"then the spirits!" joohyun ruffles her hair, looking up at the ceiling. " them for putting me in this situation! arg!"
"hyunnie, listen to me..." seulgi pleads. "i'm sorry for taking too much time. but i want this with you. i swear i will do something about it tonight."
joohyun wipes her tears with her hand and looks at seulgi. as much as she knows it was sincere, joohyun is sure it won't be as simple as that.
"look, seulgi. i know it's not that easy for you. it won't be for me too," she says. "do you think we could be happy together knowing we hurt someone--we ruined someone's life--because of our selfishness?"
"hyunnie..."
"let's stop this, seulgi. let's stop this here and now."
seulgi's mouth hangs open. a tear finally fell down her cheek.
it was too painful to see seulgi in that way. for a moment there, joohyun wanted to take her words back. but no. she needs to be firm this time.
"you can take your time as long as you want," she says, turning to the window. "but as long as you're with eunae, we shouldn't see each other."
"are you... serious about this...?"
the tremble on seulgi's voice made joohyun close her eyes. she inhales and composes herself.
"i should have done this a long time ago. i don't want to feel guilty anymore. i don't want to keep worrying about how you are whenever you're with your wife. i want peace of mind."
there was no response, but joohyun can hear seulgi's silent cry.
"you don't have to tell your wife tonight if you're not ready yet," joohyun adds. "but don't call me or come to me. we shouldn't see each other for now."
"i'm sorry, hyunnie... i'm sorry..." seulgi's voice is muffled. joohyun can picture her covering her face with her palms.
tears are forming in joohyun's eyes again. but she doesn't want to look at seulgi knowing it will soften her. she might end up hugging seulgi and telling her everything's going to be okay.
"your wife will be here in a few hours," she finally says, putting an end to it. "please lock the door when you leave."
joohyun doesn't wait for another second. she walks straight into her room, closing the door and locking it after.
it's only now that she's in a quieter space when she realizes how her heart has been thumping hard against her chest this whole time.
she presses an ear against the door, trying to make a sound of what's happening outside.
it was silent for a minute or two before she hears seulgi's slow and heavy footsteps.
it felt like she got stabbed in the chest when she hears her front door opens.
the sound of the latching door finally sends joohyun to her knees, crying.
checked the stats and i'm in awe of how chapter 23 got higher views from the others. and when i looked...
ooop! that's the rated m chap ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
ooop! that's the rated m chap ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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