silent treatment
INEVITABLEseulgi picks the bag from the couch and sees her wife standing by the window, already in her flight attendant uniform.
"boo, you ready?" she calls.
eunae blinks. "yeah. i was just waiting for you. have you said goodbye to grandma?"
"yeah. i told her we'll visit again on your next off." seulgi approaches her wife. "what are you looking at?"
"the view."
seulgi looks out the window. "the view of your compound gate?"
"and the garden, of course."
seulgi raises an eyebrow, unsure what her wife finds beautiful to stare at. "do you miss living here? this was your room when you were a kid, right?"
eunae nods. "i'm just feeling nostalgia, i guess. do you remember the first time you went here?"
"hmm. it was on your birthday when you invited the club members, right?"
"yeah. i was standing here when you guys came."
seulgi thinks. "hmm. i don't remember seeing you here at that time."
"it's because i pulled the blinds down. i was taking the chance to look at you." eunae points at the gate. "i watched you walk from there, observing your every step."
"j-just me?"
"yeah. you. i've been crushing on you since then, remember?
seulgi chuckles. "awe. i still don't understand what your pretty young self found in my dorky high school self."
"hey. don't belittle yourself like that." eunae wraps her arms around seulgi's shoulders. "just so you know, while i was watching you walk that day on my birthday, there was only one thing on my mind at that time."
"and that is?"
"you. are. beautiful." eunae leans in and gives a light peck on the lips. "after that day, i always look at you from my window whenever you come in and leave."
"even after we got together?"
eunae hums. "i just love looking at you walk on your own. i don't know why. i love the look on your face whenever you come here. i also love looking at your back whenever you leave. although sometimes i wish you would wave at me."
"how was i supposed to know you're here if you're hiding behind the blinds?"
"i don't know. but you're supposed to feel i'm staring at you, you know."
seulgi smiles and pulls her wife for a hug. "right. right."
"i was so in love with you at that time." eunae pulls back, looking at seulgi. "fast forward to today, i am still in love with you."
seulgi feels the guilt creeping up her chest. not knowing what else to say at that moment, she resorts to kissing her wife to return the kindness. but eunae's kisses were eager. seulgi finds herself wanting to pull back.
joohyun's thoughts starts invading her mind, preventing her from getting lost at the moment.
it just doesn't feel the same anymore if it's not with joohyun.
seulgi's been restless since that night from the party. it's been two days. she's dying to see joohyun again to ask how she is. hearing from heeyeon how much joohyun cried that night left a big hole in seulgi's chest.
and she just can't focus on anything unless she's sure joohyun's okay.
she let the kiss went on for a few more seconds and slowly pulls back after she feels she has given enough.
"let's go now? we don't want you to be late," she tells eunae.
"right. but let's remove this first." eunae wipes seulgi's mouth with the pad of her thumb. "it's always not a good idea to kiss when i have my lipsticks on. it gets smudged on your mouth."
seulgi chuckles. "do i look like a clown again?"
"yeah. a beautiful clown though." eunae kisses her one last time and pulls back. "shall we go?"
---
something's weird.
it's saturday afternoon. joohyun has no work today. seulgi's sure the other woman would be staying in her apartment over the weekend.
but seulgi's been buzzing the door for minutes now and no one's answering. she even tried tugging, but there was no response. her messages and calls were also left unseen and unanswered.
where could joohyun be right now?
her hope builds up when the elevator dings. stepping out is a blonde woman with shoulder-length hair, a paper bag on her right arm.
"seungwan..." seulgi exhales in relief, watching the smaller woman stride towards her. "are you with--whoah!"
instead of a warm greeting, seulgi finds herself getting shoved against the door.
"you!" seungwan smacks her palm on the door. "how dare you do that to her?"
startled, seulgi stares at seungwan, unable to react.
"if you'll hurt joohyun like that again, i swear i'll be the one to tell your wife about your infidelity," seungwan snarls.
seulgi can see the anger and concern in seungwan's eyes. it breaks her to find out how much damage that party has done to her soulmate.
"i... i'm sorry." seulgi eyes the floor. "i understand where you're coming from. this is all my fault."
seungwan slowly pulls her hand away. "look. i don't care if you're married or not. i don't give a damn whatever set up works for you and joohyun. just..." she clenches her fist, and exhales. "just make her happy, okay? whatever it takes. no matter what happens."
seulgi looks up at seungwan, then nods. "how... how is she?"
"not good." seungwan turns away. "shey's trying, you know. she seems okay if you'll just glance at her. but if you'll take a good look at her, she's broken. her eyes were swollen when she went to the office yesterday." she shakes her head. "i've never seen her like that before."
feeling sorry and guilty and ashamed of herself, seulgi looks at the floor again.
the elevator dings again. two females went out, both holding paper bags.
"seulgi unnie!" yerim excitedly runs towards her, with joohyun stopping on her tracks behind her sister. "hey! are you joining us tonight?"
"uh..." seulgi looks at joohyun, who's staring blankly at her. she looks back at yerim. "what are you guys doing tonight?"
"movies." yerim turns to seungwan. "seungwan unnie was supposed to prepare the noodles; that's why she went up first."
"ah. yeah. that!" seungwan smacks her head. "i totally forgot. i saw seulgi waiting here and thought i should give her a welcome hug." she drapes an arm around seulgi's shoulders. "don't worry. she's joining us tonight. right, seulgi?"
seulgi could only nod.
yerim jumps. "that's great!"
joohyun passes through them silently, approaching seungwan. "keys."
"ah. yeah." seungwan searches her coat and hands joohyun the keys. "sorry. i totally forgot about the noodles."
joohyun nods and opens the door for them, not sparing seulgi a glance.
they all enter the apartment. joohyun went straight to the kitchen to arrange the items in the bags.
"ah! i forgot something!" seungwan exclaims. "yerim, come with me. let's get some beers downstairs."
joohyun turns to them. "but we still have some in the fridge--"
"you're right, seungwan unnie!" yerim dashes to the door, dragging seungwan with her. "we'll just go down quickly and will be back."
the wink yerim gives before closing the door tells seulgi it won't be a quick errand.
she sighs.
the sound of the paper bags made seulgi look at her soulmate who's busy arranging the items again.
"hey," she calls.
joohyun only hums, still busy with what she's doing.
seulgi feels awkward. she walks to the counter, tapping her fingers on the marble. "um. i've been trying to reach you but you seem to have not read any of my messages."
"ah. that." joohyun opens the cupboard and places some condiments. "i logged out of my account for the meantime."
logged out? seulgi raises an eyebrow. she waits for joohyun to continue but there was no further explanation after that.
"weren't you planning to check if i have messages for you?" she asks.
"i don't know. i was busy."
seulgi nods, scratching her head. "you're really mad at me, aren't you?"
there was no response. seulgi just stares at joohyun's back, who's busy with her groceries.
she gives it a few more moments, waiting, hoping for any sign that she's welcomed tonight.
but seconds and minutes passed, still no reaction from joohyun.
"i understand." seulgi looks away and pinches her nose. "i came by to check how you are, and to say how much i'm sorry for what happened."
but joohyun seems to not hear seulgi as she continues doing stuff in the kitchen.
"to clarify, eunae said that during the party only to appease her grandma," seulgi continues. "she doesn't want to let her down at least, knowing that any stress might be bad for her. but the truth is, we haven't started any concrete plan about having a child yet."
she's starting to think now that joohyun isn't in the mood to listen to any of her explanations.
"but yeah, what's the point of still explaining that if the damage is done, right?" she continues after a few more seconds of silence. she looks around the room and huffs. "i understand if you're still mad. i'm sorry. i'm really sorry for what happened that night. i'm sorry for not being there for you. you didn't deserve to be in that situation."
joohyun opens the faucet and starts washing some utensils.
seulgi sighs. the silent treatment is killing her. she clutches her car keys inside her coat.
"i... uh... i understand if you need space..." she points at the door even if joohyun couldn't see her. "i guess i shouldn't bother you for now."
she waits for a few seconds, hoping to get some reaction. to her disappointment, all she got is silence and the sound of the running water.
seulgi presses her lips together, nodding. "enjoy your movie night then."
her footsteps feel heavy. but as much as she wants to spend her available time with joohyun, she knows she needs to respect joohyun's decision as well.
it was her fault after all, for taking her sweet time to break it off with eunae.
maybe she deserves this punishment because her lack of action brought joohyun pain.
maybe joohyun needs time. and if that's what she wants, seulgi's willing to give her that.
before seulgi can even reach the door, the sound of the running water stops. then she hears stifled sobs.
seulgi turns around and sees joohyun still at the sink, looking down, shoulders shaking.
this time, she couldn't stop herself anymore. she walks over to joohyun and hugs her from behind.
"hey. i'm sorry," seulgi whispers into joohyun's ear as the latter cries louder now. "i'm sorry. i'm sorry."
joohyun covers with a hand, unable to speak.
seulgi turns joohyun to face her, wiping her soulmate's cheeks with her thumbs.
"don't... go..." joohyun says in between her sobs. she looks up at seulgi, tears streaming down her cheeks. "please... don't go..."
seulg felt all her defenses crashing down.
"oh gosh." she pulls joohyun into a hug. "i won't. i'll stay here. i won't go."
"don't leave me..."
"i won't. i promise i won't." she keeps joohyun's back. "i'll stay here with you."
seulgi feels relieved when joohyun's body finally relaxes in her embrace. she keeps kissing the side of her soulmate's head while repeatedly whispering assurances that she will stay.
"i'll be by your side, okay?" she says. joohyun nods. "just hold my hand like this and i won't let go. you hear me?"
joohyun nods again, intertwining their fingers.
"can we stay like this for now?" joohyun whispers, burying her face into seulgi's shoulder.
"we can stay like this as long as you want." seulgi kisses the top of joohyun's head.
they stood there in silence, hugging each other. seulgi keeps joohyun's back and kissing her head until the sobs got reduced into faint sniffs.
checked the stats and i'm in awe of how chapter 23 got higher views from the others. and when i looked...
ooop! that's the rated m chap ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
ooop! that's the rated m chap ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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