It was a morning in the city of Tokyo, the last leaves were falling from the trees indicating that autumn was ending and the imminent winter was approaching. The cold was beginning to feel it but you could still dare to bring short sleeves from time to time. People used to walk in the afternoons in a hurry thinking about what they had to do and not worrying about the wonderful spectacle that nature was offering them. Just in this environment this story happens, a love story but not just an ordinary love tale but one in which in the end someone will lose but it's all for the happiness of the well-loved.

 

Sitting in a train car I was thinking looking out the window, if someone right now was looking at me I probably wouldn't notice. I sigh, it's all I can do at the moment, I relax ... my heartbeat is normal, do not shake uncontrollably, this feeling of peace is nice although I know that this will only be momentary and that's why I give myself the freedom to enjoy it every second.

 

You may be wondering why I appreciate just having my heartbeat calm, this actually has a first and last name or should I rather say "first names" and "last names". I am at a crossroads in my life where I know that hopelessly someone I love very much will be hurt, unfortunately my actions have caused two wonderful people to have their hearts in my hands, offer them to me but to my misfortune one will have to take it and another I'm gonna throw it away.

 

For anyone it's very easy to say "ONLY FOLLOW YOUR HEART" the problem is that this is treacherous since it beats in the same way for both girls, yeah I mean two females. Although Japan is not a country where homouality is so well seen, let's say it is a little more tolerant and more open being in Tokyo, for me that was never a problem because since I was a teenager I knew that I would never feel attracted for boys.

 

My first love I still remember it, she was my best friend from childhood, I still remember when I met her she was a very shy little girl but with hints of courage when someone messed with me. It was not difficult to make friends with her tenderness, simplicity and honesty were some of her attributes that caused something to be born within me. Little by little I realized that I loved her a lot, for a long time I attributed it to being my best friend but then adolescence came. I realized that I liked girls but among all of them one of them I liked more than all so I just let myself go with this feeling to discover why I felt this way and ended up discovering not only that I was a lesbian but that I was also in love with my best friend.

 

Part of my first teenage days I had this strong feeling that I would calculate that until I entered the university it could be said that I was hopelessly in love with her, we distanced ourselves a little because she took a different career from mine. After I decided to have dates with other girls but that relationship evaporated with the wind, others took a dangerous path but in the end I gave up my feelings for her and according to me We became best friends again as we were from the beginning.

 

That is why when she confessed her love to me, I suddenly went into complete shock, I did not believe it, I did not know how it had happened but now I had what was my first love confessing her feelings towards me, at that moment I did not know what to answer because according to me these feelings had disappeared, in the end she showed me her true feelings and asked me to accept her in my life but not as a friend but as someone to live with the rest of my days. She has asked my permission to make me happy. My confusion is that now I am not alone because there is another person, that person in just a few months came to revolutionize my world to such an extent that I thought that my feelings for my best friend no longer existed but now with her confession I just feel uneasy.

 

While I have told you on one side that it is my love for my best friend on the other side is this new person who entered my life like a hurricane, moving my life 180° from what it was. It was not a coincidence that we met, but it was destiny. It all started the first day of university, while I was daydreaming a voice asked me "Is this place busy?". I could not help but stare at her, she was someone very attractive, she had that black hair in a ponytail that made her face stand out, that lively voice asked me again "Do you hear me?" which I just shook my head at. "Don't you hear me?" she says to me now with a mischievous smile on her lips that makes her show me her pretty dimples. "No, sorry, I meant it's available" I say blushing like an idiot, "what a good way to hide that you are a lesbian on your first day, moron" I thought. Contrary to all prognosis, she did not say anything and just sat next to me, from the first moment I could feel the connection between us, it was not necessary to be a genius to say that we are attracted but over time that attraction became something more deep.

 

Our beginning was simple but many doubts arose, jealousy, misunderstanding but in the end we managed to overcome them, we were just about to have everything and have the most romantic love in this university when a new test came, time after I ask her to be my girlfriend my first love confessed her love to me and my new love was only there waiting and believing in our love until the last moment. I can definitely say that I fell in love with her deeply too.

 

A sound brings me out of my thoughts, listening carefully I realize that I have reached my destination, my heart beats quickly for the decision I have made. It took some time for me to take it but now I know I have done the right thing. I see you in the distance while you play distracted with your cell phone, I know that you are nervous because I am.

 

From the moment I was asked to choose between the two of you, I couldn't sleep well, I didn't know which person I love the most, I didn't know what to think or feel.

 

- I'm here- I say in a low voice almost like a whisper

- You came ...- you tell me like letting out a sigh while you show me the most sincere smile and your gaze shows me infinite love. From the moment I saw that sincere expression of love I knew that I had made the right decision.

 

 

And this is how this story begins, where our protagonist will have to go through endless emotions to know who she really loves and in this process someone will definitely be inevitably hurt.