The rest of the journey was almost completely without a difficult conversation. At least, Jinsoul never saw or head something that crept up from Jungeun’s past. The fire elf hadn’t even asked about her own life. She only filled the silence with information about the Astra. 

“I’d say Freya’s actually the one in charge,” Jungeun said. “They still discuss and I’ve seen her be convinced, but if she speaks, everyone’ll listen.”

Jinsoul hummed. She already didn’t want to see the leaders of the Astra. The elders would’ve been a part of many disagreements in the past. While people changed, they didn’t always change that much. 

“But there’s a lot of faith to have in the future elders,” Jungeun continued. “Haseul and Sooyoung’ll be up sooner than others, but they’ve had more contact outside of the Astra than a lot of them.” 

“Are they warriors?” Jinsoul noted the names in her head, but she didn’t know what to think of Jungeun’s view of people. 

“Haseul used to be,” she said. “Still does when she needs to, but that’s nothing else she puts value on now.” A small pause. “She’s not like me, if that’s what you were wondering.” 

Jinsoul frowned. “What makes you think I was?”

Jungeun smiled slightly then. “The stories you heard of me are true,” she said. 

Jinsoul started. She didn’t feel guilty that she’d been heard, but she almost felt caught. She’d been speaking a language she hadn’t thought Jungeun knew. This was the price for that. 

If those stories are true, I don’t want anything to do with her.

“So when we get there,” she continued. “I’ll tell Haseul that you’ll be along with her.” 

“You know Arcesh?” 

“Not well enough to speak it without sounding like an idiot,” she replied. “But well enough to understand.”

Jinsoul narrowed her eyes.

Jungeun sighed. “Are you going to scrutinise every word of mine?” 

“I’ve known you a day,” she said. “I don’t trust you.” 

She winced. Then she nodded. 

Jinsoul was a bit surprised. “No excuse?” 

“You should know why,” she gave her a small smile, “I’m a killer, not a liar.” 

And there was the crack. The smile was strained, yet the words sounded easy. Jinsoul saw that those words affected her. Did that mean the killing bothered her? Then why hadn’t she stopped? 

Jinsoul pushed it from her mind. She wouldn’t consider that Jungeun had a conscience until she actually showed it. 

Jungeun didn’t fill the silence that followed. She was just looking at the fire. That fire seemed to amplify the colours in her eyes. The crystalline red seemed to take in different shades. It looked like there was a real fire there. 

Jinsoul looked away. She didn’t want to watch how fire reflected in her eyes, or to see the weird look there either. 

______

Jinsoul had rarely felt shy in life. She’d known most people around her since she was small and if there were newcomers, she’d been able to get to know them easily enough. 

But now, underneath countless curious gazes, she felt exposed. 

They’d gone through what seemed like pointless formalities of Jinsoul’s family and the magic they had. The Astra had even gone as far as to telling her what an honour it must be for her to have the magic she did. 

It had almost been comforting to see how Jungeun’s brow had risen every now and then, even an eye roll here and there. But Jinsoul hadn’t met her gaze when Jungeun’s attention had gone back to her. If she didn’t have to, she’d avoid being around the elf. 

“You’ll be primarily on patrol” the elder said. “Freya, one with golden eyes that seemed as bright as the sun. “Either with Jungeun or others who come to that role.” 

Jungeun and others. It didn’t sound right, but she thought better than to question it at that moment. 

“But who’ll be teaching you our ways is still in question.” Freya looked to the rest. “You’re only the second to have gotten the moon’s blessing.”

Again, Jinsoul didn’t like how that sounded. She didn’t like that there were people around here who could see her magic—her light—and even her future. She hated that she couldn’t see any of that. 

“Who’ll be the one, or ones, to show her?”

A few moments passed. 

Jinsoul almost thought Jungeun would step forward. Then she remembered that the fire elf had heard of her opinion, now almost fully prepared not to speak with her. She felt a pang of guilt at that. 

“We’ll do it,” a new voice said. 

Jinsoul saw heads turn to two people moving through the crow. Then she saw a girl with dark red jewelled eyes. She was taller than the girl beside her, who had deep, but bright, green eyes. Both were beautiful, somehow more real then Jungeun. That was probably because their hair matched their Asian features. 

“Then it’s settled,” Freya nodded, “we’ll leave you to get acquainted.” She gave Jinsoul a surprisingly warm smile. 

The two girls came over to Jinsoul. Jungeun left with the rest. 

Jinsoul stopped looking after her retreating form. Now there were only strangers. 

“I’m Haseul,” the green-eyed girl said. 

The one Jungeun respected. 

“Sooyoung.” The red-eyed elf gave her a careful smile. It was both hesitant and warm at the same time. 

Looking at her, Jinsoul got a sense that she’d be more insightful than most. That sort of a person could be a good friend or a very unpredictable acquaintance. 

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to find out. She didn’t feel right here. She wanted nothing more than to leave. 

“What was that about showing me?” Jinsoul didn’t like how the crosesh sounded to her ears or how strange the words felt in . 

“How to use the light,” Haseul said. Jinsoul found only kindness in her expression. “And helping you actually get used to,” her eyes searched the camp, almost with a certain judgement, “all this.” 

“That’ll take long,” she replied, knowing she sounded spiteful.

Sooyoung shrugged. “We have time. Jungeun got through it too.” 

Jinsoul stiffened at the name. “I’m not like her.” There were fires everywhere too. All of it was fuel for the red-eyed elf. There was so little water. The only sources were thin streams and one river. She was stranded. 

“Are you alright?” Haseul looked concerned. It seemed real. Jinsoul couldn’t bring herself to question it. 

“We’ll start whatever that is tomorrow.” Jinsoul turned away. 

“You’ll miss the tour.” Sooyoung was giving her a weird look. 

“Tomorrow,” she said through gritted teeth. 

People watched her as she walked off. She hated each stare, each gaze—it was all too much. 

They expected this to become her new home. Surrounded by strangers, far from the sea—how could she ever call this home? 

A part of her considered asking Jungeun how she managed it. She didn’t even know if she considered this place home. 

She pushed the thought from her mind. She had the chance to never be around the fire elf again. She could go on without seeing a face she couldn’t to endless violence. 

She wouldn’t go to her for help, let alone confide in her. 

She scoffed at the thought. 

After what seemed like ages, she reached the river banks. She didn’t stop. She inly let herself fall in. 

The water surged up to greet her, enveloping her before she reached the bottom. The sound of the river’s roaring current calmed her immediately. Even the cold of it all was comforting. 

She let herself drift, every now and then bringing herself to a stop so that the river would flow past her, almost rip her away, before she let go again. 

It dawned on her that she barely knew this area. She’d have to follow the river back, but even then she wouldn’t know where to go. 

But it might be better if she was lost, at least for a time. No one would miss her. They barely even knew who she was. 

Even so, after some time of being submerged, she actually forced herself to the surface. The night air almost froze her completely. As she swam through the current, she nearly regretted diving in. 

But she’d needed that, a reminder of where her actual home was. It wasn’t a place, but the water. Anywhere she went, she needed at least that, even if it was only rain, she’d have something that felt right to her. It was also something she’d always be able to call upon. 

She climbed out of the river, her hands digging into the cool earth. The air kept drawing out the warmth from her. 

Jinsoul let the water seep out of her clothes and hair, trickle off her skin, and flow back into the river. 

It didn’t get rid of the chill, but it#d hopefully not get much worse. 

She started to walk in the direction she’d come. She let her mind wander. She felt the way the water shifted in the presence of fish and other animals. She felt how water flowed through the water, occasionally settling on a leaf or stone, or enter her lungs before she breathed it out again. She felt the slow absorption of water by the trees. 

Most had always thought knowing those details was useless. She found it exciting. Some said it made her more of a fairy than an elf, but humanity had its fair share of scholars. Most would agree they were far from being like the fae. Jinsoul also appreciated a fair amount of the fae. Their pursuit of knowledge made them relatively peace loving. Sometimes their narrow-mindedness led to aggressions or outrage from others, other times violence was just a goal chased after by untypical fae. At some point, it didn’t matter what you were, only what you did with your time and abilities. 

Then she felt a brief chill, one far deeper than the cold air. It felt off, as if she could feel something through it. 

Jinsoul stiffened and seized some water from the river. It wrapped around her torso and hands. She made a blade of ice from it. 

She searched the forest around her, but found nothing. The feeling strengthened. It collected in her stomach, knotting it. It was fear, but not her own. 

And then she realised what it was. A spirit. 

Jinsoul melted the ice. She ran up the river, not risking that she’d loose her way. 

All she knew was that she stood little chance against a spirit. Very few did, except for the Astra. 

She was supposed to be one of them. She might’ve laughed, had she not been on the run. 

If she’d let Haseul show something useful, or even Jungeun, then she might’ve been able to defend herself. 

But now, she was powerless. 

It was still very much in the dead of night. She only knew the river and where it went. 

Jinsoul called the river, stepping onto the surge that came to her. She worked easily against the natural flow. As she sped across, she risked looking back. 

A spirit followed. A dark red wolf. 

It was closing the distance. 

Jinsoul pushed the river harder, hoping to spot a familiar bank or crop of trees. 

Jungeun had even taken a path close to the river on the way to camp. She should’ve taken note of each bend, but she hadn’t. 

She tried to look for a smaller amount of water, either from a waterskin or a cooking pot. She could only faintly feel it. Was that her fear? Or the spirit’s effect on her? Or the growing effect of having two magics? 

Did you try your head?

Jinsoul nearly stumbled. She focused on her mind and felt for the light. It warmed her better than any fire had. She closed her eyes and looked. 

In the distance, she saw the large mass of light. Astra. 

She saw flashes of light elsewhere. Were they good spirits? Patrolling Astra? 

It didn’t matter. She knew where to go now. 

Jinsoul leaped from the river, the water crashing into the river bank behind her. 

She scrambled to gain a stable footing. 

Fear clenched her heart, both from the spirit and her. 

A freezing cold struck her leg. 

She fought a scream and kicked back. She didn’t make any contact, but she heard a growl. 

Jinsoul forced herself to keep running. Her leg was like ice, but the pain hadn’t reached her. 

She could still see light in the distance, as though there were fires. 

She was reaching one small bit of light very quickly. 

Looking back again wasn’t an option. She could hear the spirit behind her, feel how much colder the air had become. 

She ran faster, well aware that she’d lose all strength soon. 

The light was close now. It wasn’t a person. 

She reached for it still. Her head spun once. 

The light flew toward her. She could it, her arm warming as soon as she touched it. 

It was a spear. Of moonlight. 

Jinsoul whirled around. The wolf still neared. She settled into a crouch, legs both burning and freezing, and she waited. 

The rule had always been to run from spirits. A select few had a few pieces of moonlight, but even those were used in the worst of emergencies. Running always worked. You weren’t even confronted with spirits most of the time. 

Unless you were alone and overcome by some sort of distress. It was worse if you had some type of connections to light or a similar magic. Jinsoul had gotten herself into all three. 

The wolf had come to a halt in front of her. Its eyes were a strange shade of purple. It looked at her. The hunger in its eyes were chilling. 

Jinsoul leapt at it, the spear ready. 

The wolf growled, but didn’t evade. It ran for her instead. 

She dug the spear into its neck. Another burst of cold erupted in her arm and side. Spirits made no clear wounds. They only gave you darkness. 

The beast whimpered as red erupted from the wound. 

Jinsoul slipped as she moved back, her arms numb. Fear and some other unsettling feeling coursed through her. 

She watched as the spear disappeared into the wolf. She watched as dark red turned into a vibrant one. Its eyes changed last, going from purple to orange. 

Then the wolf straightened, seemingly few of its pain. It looked at her with wide eyes. Innocent. 

Jinsoul felt her legs give out. She knew she was supposed to keep moving, that she was an even more appealing target to the spirits. Her legs thought otherwise. She’d run too much. She so rarely ran. If she needed to flee, she’d had the endless expanse of the sea. On land, she was so restricted. So weak. 

The wolf came a bit closer before it sat down opposite her, as if it hadn’t just tried to maul her. 

That’s how it worked: the Astra turned malevolent spirits and guarded, or were guided by, the benevolent ones. 

Jinsoul had turned her very first spirit. 

With moonlight that hadn’t been hers. 

______

She was met halfway on the return journey. 

She recognised Haseul, but not the woman accompanying her. Immediately, Jinsoul knew she was older than either of them. Though little aged on the outside, the look of a person with millennia-long lives was one you saw easily. It wasn’t haunted, at least not always, but oddly mature even in the long stretch of eternity. 

“We should’ve never let you go off alone,” Haseul said, brow furrowed. “I didn’t know you’d be off so far.”

The other woman came closer. She had bright blue eyes. “I’m Nuala, responsible for healing.” She held out a hand, her expression both expectant and almost chastising. 

Jinsoul knew that look well. It still made her feel embarrassed for going off the way she had. She held out her now numb arm. 

Nuala’s skin began to glow, while her eyes became blinding. Warmth slowly crept up Jinsoul’s arm to her chest. 

“That was a lucky first encounter,” the healer said. “One of our own nearly lost his life.” Her eyes lifted, holding Jinsoul’s. “If you’re drained of light and the darkness overcomes both your heart and your point of light, you’ve lost.”

“Not dead?”

“Not always,” she replied. “Some are lucky.” The next part of that hung in the air. 

“I don’t think we have to go there,” haseul sent her a look, “she turned a spirit and got away well enough.”

“You should know the consequences,” Nuala said. She let go of Jinsoul’s arm, the glow subsiding. “And she’s not as sensitive to those thing as the rest of you are.” There was a gentle edge to that remark. 

And then Jinsoul realised that Nuala knew about her life before. How? 

Some Astra could see the future, others saw the past too? It struck her then as unfair. It unsettled her too. 

“The first thing you ought to learn,” Nuala regarded her sternly, “is how to get moonlight in that head of yours.” With that, she walked off. 

“Tomorrow, right?” Haseul gave her a reassuring smile. Jinsoul believed it this time. 

She debated if it’d be better to learn now or not. 

Then she caught a whiff of the different foods being prepared. The thought of food and warmth called to her almost as much as the sea did. 

“Tomorrow.”

When they walked back into the camp, the eyes still bothered her, but she looked past them. 

She briefly met the eyes of a rather serious looking girl with dark hair. Even from afar, Jinsoul knew her eyes didn’t glow. 

But then another girl, also with almond eyes and light hair, sat down beside her, two bowls in hand. The black-eyed girl’s face broke into a warm smile. 

Jinsoul looked away. That was certainly a moment to be shared just between them. 

Then she found her. 

Jungeun was beside Sooyoung, a broad smile on her face. When she saw Jinsoul, she looked away, her smile somehow less broad, but not weakened. Jinsoul didn’t know how she could tell the difference. 

The seconds had passed quickly, but they’d been enough. Jinsoul had felt a burst of recognition after seeing Jungeun’s glowing eyes. She’d seen some of the light in the fire elf. 

That very light had been in the forest floor. 

Jinsoul turned her attention back to Haseul who’d begun telling her about their typical meal times. She listened. 

Anything to take her mind from the flames surrounding her and their sorceress.