“You can’t go inside tonight, Noora-shi.”

“Why can’t I? I’m sure he’s inside.”

“He is busy. Please come again tomorrow! Tonight, you can’t.”

“Noora-shi, Noora-shi…..”

Bodyguards tried to stop me from entering his apartment which made me so curious of what he is doing inside that I can’t see. However, I tried to break in successfully. But what I got to see is very terrible. I stood still in shock, seeing him having fun drinking with 2 girls. He changed his hair style to the previous one, platinum-white hair. He looked totally the scary mafia boss back.

“Noora…”

“What is it? Is this the reason you don’t see me for one week?” I asked.

He seemed a bit shocked to see me here but he didn’t look guilty at all.

“Sorry Boss, she broke in. We couldn’t stop her.” His bodyguards apologized.

“You both leave! I’ll deal with her.” He said to his bodyguards then they left.

I got mental break down and I cried a lot but he still didn’t come to console me. He kept hugging the 2 girls.

“You shouldn’t have come. Now you saw it….. Well, you can join us if you want.” Instead of saying sorry or consoling me, he invited me to serve him together with the 2 girls. I got so hurt to be treated like this by him.

“You don’t want? Ok just leave! I want to spend the night having fun with my new girls tonight.” He said then started kissing with the girls. I lost my balance and burst out crying louder.

“Why are you doing this to me? I forgave you again and again. I believe you love me for real but you’re seeing other girls too. Why are you this terrible?” I expressed my anger.

He paused from kissing with them and looked at me. “Yeah I love you for real and I love many other girls too.” He said.

“But I don’t want to share my man with others. If you can’t just have only me, then let’s break up!” I yelled.

He burst out laughing. “I think I’m bored with you now so it’s fine to break up. It’s not a big deal for me. Hey, I’m gonna take my girls inside my room now. Close the door for me when you leave!” he rudely said to me. He looked down on me in front of those girls. They laughed at me. I felt so ashamed. I collected my bravery to run out from his apartment.

I went back home and cried so much that I have never done before. Yes, I’ve cried for him for many times but this time must be the most I cried for him. I felt like dying. I felt so regret to believe and forgave him many times. I was so disappointed to give my love and shamelessly went to sleep with him for countless times. He is a mafia so he can’t choose a girl like me for his future. I was stupid myself.

“Should I just die to escape from all pain and shame? I’m so ashamed of myself. How am I supposed to live now…..”

-----

This time I can say that it’s the most painful time to move on from him. He doesn’t bother to call or come to see me at all. I’ve been resting sickly at home and it made my family worried about me again.

One day, I noticed about my period. I’ve not seen my period for a couple of days. I decided to buy pregnancy test tube to check. I saw the result as pregnant. I became more stressful but I decided to check at hospital to make sure.

I went to hospital and asked for pregnancy check-up. The result is….. yes I’m being pregnant with him for 3 weeks now. I was too stupid to carelessly sleep with him without any protection. So what am I supposed to do now? If I tell him, he will tell me to abort for sure? So I’ll have to kill another life?.....

As I was deeply thinking while leaving the hospital, I ran into Aron with a different new girl.

He smirked at me. I stood still for a while then tried to move my way from them.

“How are you doing lately? Long time no see!” he said.

“Who is she, Aron-shi? Your another mistress?” the girl with him asked.

“Ah… I got caught by my future wife.” He exclaimed.

“You naughty man, after getting married, you can’t have any mistress! She doesn’t even look attractive. Alright, let’s go to visit my father!” she looked down on me then they left.

I was so angry and hurt. He doesn’t have eyes that full of love and care for me anymore and that girl must be Seoyeon who was supposed to get engaged with him. After seeing how beautiful she is, I really realized how low I am from the first place….. So what should I do with the baby?.....

-----

From that day, I tried to move on from him but I haven’t decided what I should do with the baby y