It's been two months since Irene moved out of the dormitory. Things changed a lot more than I expected them to be.
Well, we're still friends, of course, but we rarely spend time together. We do see each other at the university often, but we're both busy practicing. We trainees can't even keep phones, making it harder to communicate.
The most uncomfortable part for me is when we actually meet each other. She can't even look me in the eye. She obviously feels burdened about having to debut earlier. Just seeing her that way makes me feel blue. How could I tell her that I'm rooting for her? For them? And that I'm happily supporting her from behind?
They've been preparing for their debut, but she doesn't like talking about it. She avoids the topic every time I try to bring it up.
Today I came to the practice room alone. Luckily, Irene is in there as well.
It was awkward again... but nobody initiated a conversation. We just danced together as we used to.
We danced until we dropped.
Wendy and I are lying on the floor trying to catch our breaths. It's been a while since I danced with her like this. I really missed how we hung out together, yet I kept avoiding her on purpose.
I'm sure anybody else in this situation would have felt the same. It's suffocating.
The truth is, without Wendy, I wouldn't even have pursued my dream of becoming an idol. Then this is how things turned out to be...
We talked for a bit but had to part ways to avoid curfew. We parted... awkwardly.
Damn it. I can't even tell her how much I've missed her.
I just arrived at our dormitory feeling disheartened. As soon as I entered, I heard loud voices coming from our living room.
Why's our manager here at this hour?
"What are you even talking about?!" Our manager yelled.
One of the members had her head down and mumbled something.
"Why would you back out now?!"
Back out? She's backing out?!
I stepped closer to listen to their conversation. And as I listened, I found myself wondering for a moment. Come to think about it, backing out is actually an open option for me. Should I back out as well?
I hesitantly stepped forward and clenched my fists without second thoughts and spoke...
"Sir, I want to back out as well."
Everybody looked at me, trying to figure out what I meant by what I just said. But then, our member, who's about to back out, suddenly stood up.
"No! You can't do that!"
Why not? Wait, are they talking about something else and not the debut?!
"We need to talk." My group mate dragged me out of the living room.
"Are you crazy?! Why would you quit?"
I guess I am crazy.
"How about you then? Why would you quit now?" I debated.
She avoided my eyes and sat down.
"Do you not remember me at all? Like me besides being your group member? "