Hello again~ I'm very sorry for the late update tonight. I noticed something weird with my AFF acc so I'm quickly works with the settings. I feel like I got hacked.....

But i shall contact the mods soon. Anyway, enjoy this new chapter! Thank you for all the love and support! <3 ^^

Ryeowook in his entire 33 years of existence has never felt gloomy like he’s feeling today; not even when he’s facing harsh reprimand from his clinical instructors back in med school, or when the seniors throwing him the scrutinizing eyes as he’s trying his very best to attend a patient. Those experiences in the past, the feelings his younger self has been enduring at that moment can’t possibly be on parred with this particular event he’s involving himself with.

As he’s carefully piling up the patients’ details files by the table, his mind keeps drifting off to the conversation last night with Heechul. One by one the man’s words keep repeating inside his head. Like a broken record demanding to be fixed, to be heard despite the flaws. Every single harsh truths biting to his skin until he’s certain he could bleed without even being stabbed.

“That’s the only way Donghae can be happy…..Even if Eunhyuk is not his younger brother, but he has Hyukjae’s face. That’s enough to make Donghae happy again.”

He subtly shakes his head, trying to get rid of the image from continuing haunting him. Last night, the look of desperation on Heechul’s face as he faces Ryeowook; those overwhelming fears in his eyes, truthfully it scares Ryeowook greatly. He has never seen Heechul looking like that ever since he has known the guy. It’s the first and hopefully the last time he would ever see it.

Which is quite an ambitious wish considering the circumstances; Heechul’s wish he desperately fights to realize albeit the wrongness in all its aspect.

Not just to see but even replace…

“You want to make Donghae hyung sees Eunhyuk hyung as Hyukjae.” His own shaky voice resonates inside his mind, both hands holding those files are trembling remembering the realization dawning on him at that time. Oh how Ryeowook prays throughout the night for him to turn back the time, so that he would never see the ugly truth. “You want Eunhyuk hyung to replace……him. Replace his twin brother.”

He wants Lee Eunhyuk to replace his dead twin brother, Lee Hyukjae—Donghae’s dead fiancé.

“Did you hear about Doctor Park?” The hushes coming from fellow Staff Nurses by the patient’s bed rows reach to his side at the counter. Ryeowook sighs deeply in concentration, fighting off his internal turmoil to focus his senses on one thing; the files. Having his ears blasted off with some gossips early in the morning has never been a problem with him—he’s quite a nosey alike Doctor Park too. But not now, when he’s all moody and depressed.

He focuses on the loud tap of the file hitting the table, putting them on top of each other by the end of the edge for anyone to see the patients’ details today. He doesn’t bother listening to whatever gossips his colleagues are having this morning so his head won’t explode thinking about the whole messed up ordeal he’s forced to face. But they’re being loud and the other one is talking, “Oh yes! It’s quite a talk in the ortho wards. Poor students, he scolds them so bad.”

Doctor Park. Park Jungsoo. Ryeowook isn’t actually surprised to hear this. Everyone knows Park Jungsoo is a strict man. He’s just like Eunhyuk but much kinder and less judging; Ryeowook has seen with his own eyes far too many times Jungsoo scolding some interns while assessing them on clinical posting.

But it’s all for the learning sake. He has never meant harm, he’s just being a bit show off—in Ryeowook’s opinion. He is usually friendly with the kids.

“I’ve no idea what’s wrong with him. He looks pretty normal yesterday, but today he’s just weird.” The other nurse’s saying although Ryeowook thoughts it’s all pretty normal. Jungsoo is probably messing around with the kids or he’s releasing all his knowledge excessively to them, pressing everything he knows into the kids’ brains either they want or not—which is quite a necessary considering the clinical posting isn’t something to joke with. They’ve got to learn a lot to become a good doctor in the future.

“But it’s not normal for him to act like that!”

Oh my goodness these women! And Ryeowook has enough of them messing around with his monologue talking about useless stuff—useless and unintelligent gossip too. He needs to tune them out and relax. Okay Kim Ryeowook, don’t listen to them. Just focus on the files. Focus on the files. Focus…..

“I’ll make sure he’ll be happy again.”

“Aish stop it!!” Loud bang of thick files hitting the hard surface and the whole department is quiet. The stash he has organized together in a small pile starts to scatter all over the desk, although that’s none of Ryeowook’s concern now. He has just scare the entire department off with his high tone shriek and everyone is looking at him weirdly.

“I—I’m sorry.” He bows down to everyone. Seriously, get your together Kim Ryeowook.

The time was way past midnight but instead of sleeping, the two teenagers were running along the field chasing and laughing at each other. They were playing football and despite the cold weather, none wanted to stop. They kept kicking the ball, playfully mocked each other whilst focusing to win.

It didn’t take long for a loud victory shout to holler through the empty chilling air, “GOAL!”

“AH! Not again!”

Jubilant laughter erupted from a thin boy with raven short hair. Hyukjae had a hand clutching his stomach tight, mouth agape laughing like no tomorrow with adoring eyes watching Donghae sprawled over the ground. The latter was sulking over his victory—although he won another of their match last night, among another escapades. They had forgotten how long they had been playing soccer in the middle of the night, sneaking out from the orphanage without anyone noticing only to return quietly through the bedroom’s window they had sneak out from. Not minding the sweat covering their skin they just slept off until the time they had to wake up for school.

For anyone, it might be a boring and sad life; two teenagers living in this vast world with no family nor relatives, having a same routine almost everyday. But for Hyukjae and Donghae, it was heaven as long as they were together.

“Come on! You’re not that bad either.” Hyukjae said as he slightly kicked Donghae’s foot, gaining the sulky teenager’s attention. Donghae sat up from the damp grass, not minding if he got soil all over his pajamas and sweater. Same short raven hair disheveled and dirty as he pushed the bang away.

He pouted looking up to a gummy smiling Hyukjae. “Does this mean I have to wash your clothes for next 2 weeks?”

“Well, that’s the bet.” Hyukjae smirked, both hands tucked inside his own grey jacket. “The loser has to wash the clothes. But I don’t think you should be worry, mine is lesser than yours.”

Donghae grimaced hearing that. “That’s because you don’t like to shower Hyukkie. It’s so gross.” As if on que, Donghae started running the moment the words left his mouth. Hyukjae was chasing him in full speed yelling in fake anger. “Yah! I’m not gross you shortie!”

“I’m just 3 cm shorter than you!” They made a round over the huge field and when Donghae’s feet betrayed him, he fell down to the ground again. Hyukjae expectedly did the same, lying right above him by the stomach. They ended up tackling each other on the ground holding their bodies closer, no one cared if they were sweating a bucket or smelly.

Then the little wrestle turned into a cuddle as Hyukjae started to pin Donghae down, he kissed him over the latter’s lips softly. The feeling erupting thousand sparks in both of them. Donghae had both his hands holding Hyukjae by his neck whilst the other held his face closer, the sensation of cold palms over Donghae’s cheeks was enticing enough to elicit moans out of both of them. When the kiss was broken, they smiled to each other lovingly.

Hyukjae pecked him again by the lips, overwhelming love shining inside his orbs. “Let’s go back. It’s almost sunrise.”

“Can’t we stay here longer? I want to hold you more.”

“I’ll let you sleep in my bed when we get home.” That was enough to make Donghae got up on his feet and they walked hands in hands towards the orphanage house. The cold weather wasn’t enough to chase the warmth residing in their hearts ever.

This was their heaven.

“Donghae-ah….”

The familiar voice calls him out from his sleep, away from the dream he keeps holding onto for the days he has lost count of. When the blurry image becomes clearer only Donghae recognizes Siwon sitting by the edge of his bed, wearing a black buttoned-up shirt tucked in a black dress pants. A white tie as the only contrary to his dark outfit for the day. He looks very handsome and very worried as well. He calls out again, “Hae, are you sure you can be alone for today?”

Donghae groans as he moves his body underneath the blanket. Every part of his body is fine, but he feels weak. It’s not something uncommon though because he would at times experience muscle weakness and extreme fatigue, sometimes too chronic that he won’t be able to wake up from bed for days. Both his friends Siwon and Kibum are used to his unknown ‘condition’ since before Donghae enrolls into the med school. None is able to diagnose it, or maybe they don’t have a heart to say anything