I didn’t saw them until my graduation day. Dad thrown a small dinner party at home. It was the usual. Chaeyeong and dad did a double dinner party so most of our friends were there. Teenagers models of the company and most of our parent’s friends. We both grew up in the company. Once Mino arrived everyone welcomed him as if they knew he was a thing with my dad.

 

They knew

 

What an idiot

 

I saw Jihoon walking around the buffet minding his own business. Once he took seat on one of the tables I saw Jaehyuk took a seat next to him. I had worked along with him. He was a good kid. He was still 16 so Jihoon probably was being rude to him.

 

“Thanks, I guess” Jihoon looked at him as if he was a talking dog. I got it. He was tired as of listening to his dad’s work. That’s what Jaehyuk was doing. He was talking about Mino’s photos and how great he was.

“Hyunsuk is looking for you Jae” I took a seat next to them and quickly got rid of the kid.

“Hyunsuk the wasted guy?”

“The only one” I said tapping the table with my fingers “Jaehyuk is a good kid. Dumb but nice”

“I know. I’ve heard of him from dad” he said taking a bite of his salad “Dumb, innocent kid” he chuckled ironically

“But you are so damn hot” I said without thinking. He coughed his water. I looked at him curious. For the first time I saw him embarrassed.

“Congratulations” he said when we both were invaded by silence “you are a university boy now”

Hyunsuk came, bottles of beer hiding inside his jacket. We were being cautious since probably everyone on the party were adults. Hyunsuk’s tongue as usual got in action. Anyone would start with introducing himself but the first thing he said to Jihoon was. "So you're the one who thinks he is the great thang in college" I choked on my beer. Jihoon looked at him indignantly but ended up laughing. Apparently he did not take it in a bad way, since he was used to being attacked behind his back and not from the front.

“I have pictures of you puking. Should I post them once classes start?" If you bicker with Hyunsuk then it meant you befriend him already. He was a weirdo. We spent the night like that. It was nice. Dad even stopped the music to give a speech and give me a graduation gift.

 

A car

 

Jihoon whistle impressed by the car brand. Once everything calmed down, the kids went to a place far from the adults. Jihoon was the only new one there, so he was a bit uncomfortable, but everyone knew his father. Wrong combination for his mood.

“So, have you ever met Mashiho? He goes to the same university "I didn't know why I froze when Hyunsuk named him

"Mmmm ... probably. There are some Japanese in the university "

"He's small, softly features, really cute, nice " laughed Jihoon"Junkyu here bangs him sometimes"

"Oh" Jihoon's ears perked up "Interesting" he said looking at me "It must be really nice"

Once everyone left, we stayed in the same place. Drinking the last of our beers while listening to the waterfall from the pool. Our parents were inside the studio.

"So is Mashiho studying art as well?" I scoffed. Mashiho was terrible at drawing.

"Economy" I played with the bottle cap

"Oh. A smart one."

"Look who's talking. You're a medical student."

"Good," he chuckled, "So, how long are you guys are?

“Zero months” I said “Just to relieve stress. Whenever I have no inspiration "

"You sure get too stressed" I raise an eyebrow mocking me "So you smoke, and make out to de-stress"

"No" I looked up from my beer "I don't kiss with people. You see it. I tend to focus on things I want with determination. Whenever I feel like stress I do it with banal things" He looked at me surprised and didn't say nothing else, we hadn't talked about the party until then. “In which of those things I fit in?” He whispers once my face somehow got closer.

“Inspiration?” I leaned myself to kiss him once again. This time we both tasted like beer.I pulled him from his leather jacket towards me to kiss him better. I guess we felt the same tension since that day because suddenly the air felt lighter. We broke out when dad called us since it was cold outside. We were not the happiest group whenever we four were together and now instead of snarky comments all we got was silence from both of us.

 

 

I was expecting my vacations hanging out with Hyunsuk but I got ditched because her mom decided to bring him to a trip before sending him to university. Dad was the same. They got nostalgic and I was paying the consequences way too different from my best friend. I thought travel meant the 2 of us but I found all 4 on the main entrance of a hotel in Bali. Dad was doing the check in and I was so sure Mino and him were having a disagreement.

 

“They are fighting” Jihoon suddenly said. He read my mind.

“How do you know”

“Cuz that guy is my dad?” He said looking me with his little I-know-it-all tone “they are probably going like this “hey! you don’t need to pay for mine and jihoon’s room. I can do it myself” “I want to! I’m literally the owner of all the resorts in Bali and the whole world” “no” “yes””

“Hey! My dad is not the owner of all the resorts in the world” He looked at me “OK. My grandfather is and just in some countries” I scowled at him “What’s the big deal anyways. Your dad is famous as well. Paying this place is just a tickle at his salary or whatever”

“It’s not like that” Jihoon snorted “Ok. We are not going to discuss this cuz you are a golden spoon kid” I got irritated and took a seat far away from him. Once I was on my room I didn’t want to know about Dad’s fight with the older.

 

I mean ewww

I did it anyways because he was sulking.

I walked out of my room to Mino because I couldn’t stand it

 

 

“Just go and solve your problem” I told him once he opened the door. Jihoon looked at me from his small living room. He was sapping channels. Once Mino was out I took a seat next to him. He chuckled. He was right.

 

Damn it

 

“We should have bet on it. I would have won”

“Your dad is a proud one. He just gained some points”

“I didn’t know we were on the bachelor” I pushed him because he knew how to change my mood. We spend the evening watching Netflix. There was this feeling itching me up from inside to kiss him but I didn’t know how hard I was going to mess things.

“Wow wow wow stop there kid” He leaned away once I practically throw myself towards him. He ruined my plans­ “I got my own way of de-stress and this isn’t it”

“I’m not stressed” I lean my face on the palm on my hands to watch him. He was always so intense to see. He wasn’t predictable so I was always intriguing.

“Good try” he said sarcastically “I’m not interested”

“About what?”

“About this thing. Why don’t you call Mashiho if you want to make out?”

“But you are here” he looked at me. He narrowed his eyes and once I realized it I had earned myself a punch on the jaw. I looked at him once I felt the pain less burning.

“Ok. I deserved that”

“You think” he exclaimed irritated. I didn’t know why I loved to see him so worked at. I stared at him for several seconds until he was uncomfortable "What?"

"Aren’t you going to bring some ice and treat me?"

"mm no?" He said matter of factly. He stood up minutes later to grab some snacks from the pantry the room had and grabbed his sunglasses. The sun was coming through the windows "are you done staring at me?"

"Got nothing to do"

"What’s going on with you?" He said lowering his glasses a little “you are acting weird. Look if you have a crush on me I’m sorry I can’t help it. You are not the only one” I looked at him and burst into laughter. He was so shameless

“Are we kissing if I say I have a crush on you or something?” He stayed there with his mouth opened. Suddenly his expression turned gloom. He stood up throwing the pillow to the floor and close himself inside one of the rooms. Mino came minutes later. Apparently we were going out for dinner in 1 hour but Jihoon didn't show up to eat.

I knew I’ve screwed up. The way his expression changed reminded me of the disappointed face he made when his father complimented me.

I retired once we finished eating. They decided to stay. Maybe they'd do cheesy things like walk on the beach and I didn't want to know. I found myself knocking at his room once again. Jihoon chuckled at me. I had seen him a few times but already knew when he wore those mood swings. He was so good at pretending.

"I’ll guess. They are walking throw the beach, watching the stars and promising each other eternal love” he said waving his fingers in the air.

“Yes, yes and ewww” I walked towards him once he turned his back on me. He was probably returning to bed and leaving me on the small living room.

"What"

"Let's talk"

"I'm sleepy"

“You are not” I held his arm but he got free from me to return to bed. I got not option so I got into bed as well.

"You really want me to punch you again aren't you?"

"Maybe? It depends” I shrugged “what did you act like that? ”

"Uhh. Maybe it’s the fact of you thinking about me as a ? Some random easy guy to hook up with? Do you even know me? I'm pretty sure you know about how rude I am on university”

"I don't think you are "

“Yes. You are. I’m not your little friend. If you want to make out, or whatever go anywhere but don’t look at me like I’m your stress reliever” I saw him from bed walking in circles, exalted. Wearing shorts and a shirt. He was luring me unconsciously. He noticed my gaze and I was hit but a pillow once again.

“Come on” I said holding his hands “if you are going to punch at me every time we discuss this relationship won’t work” Jihoon gasped astonished

“What relationship?!!! What are talking about”

“I don’t see you as a , stress reliever” I rolled my eyes

“Yes sure. You are not the only one who approach me with that intention”

“So are you going to listen to me or are you having a discussion with yourself” I took a seat on the bed. The guy was impossible for my restless brain. I was anxious and didn’t know the reason. I just knew I got my inspiration “I’m interest and once I’m interest in something or someone I work until I fulfill my goal. So here I am “

“So here you are?” He narrowed his eyes in disbelief “ your plan is come here ask me to make out as if I will not refuse. Why would you think I’m attracted to you? Do you think so full of yourself?”

“ Of course and I know you put yourself on a high pedestal for anyone to hardly reach you but I know I will get there someday. That’s why I’m here. Eventually you will give in to me” He looked at me stunned

“What the ?”

“Why not? I’m rich, went to a private school and I have a huge house. I’m a good catch” I mocked him with his own words. Jihoon stormed out the bedroom. It was a good night. I took seat next to him on the living room and we watched some movie. Since I stated my resolution to him I was in peace with myself. I found him looking at me from time to time, in a defensive mood, as If I was going to do something but I was enjoying the night.

 

 

We spent the rest of the vacations on peace. It wasn’t so cool to Mino. The guy was so chill and suave. I guess he was a klutz at having communication with his son since he was the spicy one who didn’t have a filter. I got to see their interactions and Jihoon was rude with his dad sometimes. He avoided my eyes whenever I watched him behaving like that but I didn’t expect him to change. Dad told me he felt sad for Mino because none parent would want a relationship so broken like theirs. I do notice his longing eyes whenever I hugged dad from the back. He used to baby me so much I was so attached to his affection meanwhile Jihoon hardly responded to a hug.

 

 

“He might have had his reasons”

It was one night when Mino had to stay on his room to work into some photos that we all three end up having dinner together. Dad knew how to dig in whenever he was curious. Somehow he worked hard until the topic appeared. Jihoon laughed bitterly.

“We are like this. Not everyone has your father- dad cheesy behavior”

“Come on. We are not that cheesy” I looked at dad

“I’m not judging. I think it’s cute” He mocked me but I proudly rise my chin “besides the fact I rather not to think about it. It would be awkward”

“I don’t know maybe if you give him a chance” Jihoon’s expression totally changed. I saw how red his face got. For a moment I was so sure he was going to be rude to dad but Jihoon didn’t say nothing.

“You know Mr Kang. I think you are good person. You really have an impressive background yet you are completely gently and nothing pretentious. I even like you but the thing is, you having met my dad now was luck. Years ago you would have not gotten anywhere with him. He breaths and live for his job. That’s his life. If I knew I was going to born to be raising up by him, I should have told him to put me on adoption”

“Jihoon. I’m sure he worked so hard to give you everything”

“Probably” Jihoon took a sip of his beer “but I’m pretty sure he did it because I ed his life plans so to be successful I got to come in and out from kindergartens, being forgotten of being picked at school and having to walk blocks to reach home for years until he got successful. I mean I wasn’t his priority”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not like that”

“Sure. That’s why all the psychologists said. Because can you imagine he thought I was the problem? I mean I was forced to be treated because of my behavior. What a joke” he snorted “the money he worked so hard to get by leaving me with strangers when I was on primary school was wasted on therapy”

“I’m so sorry” was all dad said

“Thanks but don’t worry. I grow up by myself. Being priority of no one. I’m fine by myself. I only need me. Everyone else isn’t needed”

Watching him drink so calmly was wrong. He was peaceful living with resentment, as if it were normal to him. He was so fed up against people that he rejected everyone. I realized he was so rude to people because he didn’t want attachments. He wasn’t looking for disappointments and being letting down. Nobody would fail to him but himself and I was pretty sure he was the best, just like me , at succeeding his goals.

I couldn't imagine how hard was to know that your mom rejected you and abandoned you and that the only person in the world who stayed by your side just forcefully did it. It was like living with a second reject. How sad it must have been to think that being up for adoption could be the only way to have happiness. I couldn't put myself in his shoes because I grew up in an environment with all the luxuries, counting on the love of my father and my grandparents. We were ridiculously happy at least in adversity.

I couldn't sleep at all that night. Because somehow I was an idiot, looking for him at first just because I wanted to kiss him. In fact, I knew that was the reason and worse of that sometimes the way I express myself is very rough that I give an idea of ​​disinterest. I went for a walk to the beach. I put my airpods on because even with the sound of the breeze I felt anxious.

 

 

"Are you stalking me or something?" I jumped slightly from the shock. Jihoon laughed at me because I throw my cellphone on the sand. I picked up my cell phone and took my place on one of the reclining beds on the beach.

“What are you doing here? It's 3 am "

“Why can’t I be here at this hour but you can?”

“Is it your hobby bickering or something?”

“Maybe” he wiggled his eyebrows at me. We reminded in silence for a long time. I was sure he was wondering himself why I was not talking. It was cold outside but he was next to me with only a shirt and a pair of shorts but he was good at handling it. On the other hand, I had a large jacket that could be used on both so I approached him and covered him with that, he snorted “Not you. I didn’t expect you to be this basic” he teased me “Your jacket? Seriously?”

“Fine. I will cover myself then” I started but he quickly got closer to me as if my jacket was a huge blanket.

“I know why you are here” he said looking at the sand where crabs were walking in line “You are smart guy. You probably know the reason why I’m so ing rude to everyone”

“You are smart guy too. You probably know then why I’m here then”

“I don’t need you. I don’t want to change. I’m fine by myself”

“I don’t want you to change”

“Yeah sure” he scoffed

“You do have an ugly personality. You are so ing rude to everyone” Jihoon looked at me pissed

“Thank you??”

“But I can’t imagine those aspects of you to disappear. You wouldn’t be you. You and those sunglasses you carry around indoors. Your sarcastic smile whenever someone says something pretentious and that killer tongue of yours it’s you biggest asset”

“Are you mental?” He softly smiled “I don’t even know why are doing this”

“You know why”

“Ok. So if a kiss is all you want then let’s do it but let’s end this thing”

“That’s not what a want” Jihoon rolled his eyes

“You are so frustrating! I don’t want relationships. I don’t want to get involve with someone. I don’t want to be fixed just because I have daddy issues, the psychologist says. I’m ok by my own”

“I don’t want to fix you” he suddenly looked at me surprised “I want to hold your broken pieces”

 

 

 

 

Vacations end up quickly. Nothing changed in between us. We got along better than before though. Jihoon was still unreachable. I got his phone number but he wasn't answering my messages. I sighed a lot and Dad noticed my sudden change in mood.

 

 

"So when do you plan to tell you have a boyfriend?"

"Never" I turned around from the work of art I was doing "because I don't have one" he narrowed his eyes because he still had his doubts "I'm telling you the truth dad"

“Come on! You’ve been sighing these few days. And you’ve been with creativity 100% these few weeks”

“I promise you dad. I will tell you if I ever had one” dad sulked to me before disappearing. He was sticking to my back 24/7 since I was going to move soon. Hyunseuk mom was the same. Thankfully They always stuck together because I was still worried about dad feeling lonely. Mino and him were pretty strong. I was getting along with him lately for Dad's sake. I signed up for my dad's agency under a pseudonym and they promoted my art as just another influencer. He didn't want people to know that I was his son. Every time I made a design we made a photo shoot for social media. Mino was the photographer this time so we were going to meet at the agency.

 

 

“I want a grey background for those” I told the staff once we were on the studio. Mino was so good at his job that we worked efficiently for 3 hours. I was totally in love with his fashion sense. I guess my dad and him were match in heaven. He wore those long black trousers with a white shirt and black shoes. Effortlessly fashionable.

 

 

“Now are you checking my dad?” I heard that lovely sassy voice I was sighing about lately. I turned myself to look at him wearing his sunglasses.

“You have to tell me when do I start officially checking you out”

"Ha Ha so funny" he pushed me a bit. He stood next to me to watch the photo shoot progress. I looked at him askance. The Jihoon I saw was the complete opposite of what he loved to wear. He was always wearing the trendiest clothes and trying to have a clean appearance but what I had next to me was a pajama boy with converse and sunglasses. Black shirt and loose joggers. “Did someone force you to come here?”

“Yeah” he mouthed “that Mr over there” He crossed his arms pissed.

“So asides of frowning, sulking and mouthing bad words are you able to smile brightly or something?

“I can’t. People might fall for me” he looked at my cringe expression and burst in laugh. He caught the attention of his dad. The staff of the place probably knew about Jihoon. No wonder they will let him in from the start. The thing was that the times I went to the agency I never met him.Unsolved mystery.

“Son” Mino smiled softly walking towards

“Here” there was a pile of papers on his hands “this is the last time you woke me up to be your errand boy”

"Sorry kid" Mino tried to his hair but Jihoon dodge it "I'll make it up to you"

"Maybe next life" said Jihoon already walking towards the door. I said goodbye to Mino, lying that I had things to do, and went after the older man. Better not miss this opportunity. Jihoon was leaning his body against the hood of his car thoughtfully. I couldn't see his eyes because of the glasses he was wearing, but maybe that was the reason he wore them everywhere. He wanted to disappear from everyone. it was his way of avoiding contact with people. It was difficult to look him in the eye.

“Why are you not answering my texts?” Jihoon lazily turned towards. He took a sip from his ice americano while thinking probably what lie to answer.

“I can’t come up with an answer. Guilty” he munched the straw wiggling his eyebrows “what? Can’t you handle your hormones or something?”

“if I were I would handle it far away from dad’s company. You are not a walking seduction machine for the record” I don’t know how we pass the phase from bickering to enjoy having small chats on the hood of his car. We stayed there on the parking lot as if we were enjoying a beautiful sunset. He looked at me, sunglasses on his hand while, looking at me directly, telling me some joke. The breeze moved his hair every time he leaned his head behind to laugh. Jihoon enjoyed black humor had a lot. Apart from Hyunsuk, Jihoon he had no mercy to joke around “So what were those plans your dad ruined?”

“Oh I kind of had an interview for a part time job at the super market. But I at cordiality” I laughed. He was seriously so hateful “I can’t smile 24/7 is like telling to pray you know?”

“How do you expect to save lives then?”

“! I have to save people!”He was so annoying “I can pretend very well dude. Don’t you see me now?” He laughed

“Idiot. I guess pediatrics is off your list”

“Miles, Miles away. I hate kids. Something I refrain myself of throwing them rocks”

“You seriously are a terrible person. Why would you want to throw rocks to them” He smiled at me for the compliment “I don’t even you why I’m so enchanted”

“I said I refrain myself” he shrugged “Cut it out” he stood up to stretch when he realized what did I say. It was time to run. He was good at that. There was something, whenever I looked at his figure from the back that made me feel anxious. As if I didn’t hold his hand he was going to disappear. He looked at me from his shoulder when I touched his hand but then my cellphone rang.

“. I’m sorry Mashi. Can we meet up later? I will go to your loft. Ok”

Jihoon let go of my grip smiling to himself. He raised an eyebrow and look at me like I've been caught committing a crime but that wasn't the case “Well?” He said making me wonder at his question “Get up from my car. I need to do some stuff”

Then I opened my mouth

“Are we something or not? I don’t know if I should still be friends with Mashiho or?” Was it possible that Jihoon had more expressions than emojis? Because his face turned scarlet red before leaving, he pushed me while he growled profanity over me.

 

 

“HOW DENSE CAN YOU BE?” Jaehyuk came walking from behind. He and his mother were behind me looking from above. I was so ed up. Jaehyuk’s mom was a prestigious model and a very close friend of my dad. I was pretty sure she might tell him about me and Jihoon.

 

 

 

And of course I was still predestined to make mistakes. Dad called me indicating that we would go this time to Mino’s house for dinner. I didn’t know why we were still meeting to eat. Anyways I found myself waiting for dad to arrive to go together. I was still on the agency. This time my hair was pushed back. They made me pose for some photos. I did a photoshop just for rehearsing if some clothing brand along with Jaehyuk.

 

“OMG you are so gorgeous” dad exclaimed once I opened the door.

“You say the same every time I model”

 

 

It took us thirty minutes to arrive at Mino’s condo. They lived a private villa, well insured and sheltered for people in the industry. His apartment was on the top floor. Jihoon had made sure to study far away from home as possible. The distance to the university was far.

 

“So, it’s been a while” I say once Jihoon opened the door for us. Dada smiled happily at him. I knew he was admiring my appearance. Poor dad he was thinking we were friends. Once dad walked in, Mino looked at me in surprise.

“You seriously are a waste on the industry. Look at that visual”

 

Jihoon turned his face away grumbling. Things had calmed down much more in the recent months. Jihoon got along very well with dad. I didn't blame him. Dad was young and mixed well with everyone who returned his hugs. I took the opportunity to look at some edited photos that Mino did of my work. I wanted to have a finished project before starting college. It was like a backup plan.

I was expecting to be treated by his indifference and I knew I was going to screw up worse when I had to request to leave after dinner because I had plans.

 

I was that idiot

 

Stupid me