Night falls upon the quiet city. Aside from the streetlights, the clear sky makes the stars and moon look livelier than ever as they shine brightly. The year’s first snow is powdery and blankets every surface, turning everything white. Flurries float to the ground from the roofs of buildings when the wind blows, giving the illusion that snowfall has started again. The sidewalks are empty except for a young man who has his head done to protect his face from the bitter windchill. His hands are stuffed in his pockets and his shoulders are hunched as the wind intensifies until he rounds a corner.

The quiet air is interrupted by the sound of children’s laughter. In the middle of the street are two kids dressed in the warmest clothing one can think of to wear in their weather. They make perfectly round balls by compacting the soft snow in their hands and throw it at one another below the streetlights. Their laughter makes the young man stop for a second and reminisce on his childhood; it was full of adventure and fear never crossed his mind, except the fear that his mother wouldn’t let him keep a grasshopper he had caught in the fields. Oh, to be that young again, he thinks.

On this street, all the shops are closed for the holidays, except for Caramella’s, a cat cafe that sells tasty pastries, teas, and coffees - all made from locally grown produce. The cafe is a popular hangout place for anyone whose aesthetic includes earth tone decor, soft house lounge tunes, and being surrounded by cats that are available for adoption. To Taemin, this has been his favorite place to go for the past six months - so much so that every employee on the night shift knew his name. He indeed loves the cafe, but the thing that keeps him coming back is you.

Taemin reaches the front door of the cafe and quickly enters, wiping his feet off on the paw-shaped rug before taking his usual seat by the window. The air smells of freshly brewed coffee and warm biscoff cookies. He hangs his jacket on the back of the chair and looks around the space. Some people are sitting at tables with their eyes glued to their laptops and others sit on bean bags with cats curling up on their laps. Taemin chuckles to himself when he sees a teen sleep with a cat curled at their side.

Movement from behind the counter catches Taemin’s eyes and catches his attention. A breath gets stuck in his throat when he sees you, talking with a coworker and most likely cracking a joke judging by the smile on your face. When your eyes travel to his direction, he quickly looks out the window and focuses on the children still in the street.

“Will you have your usual?” You ask while pouring water into an empty cup and setting it in front of him. “Caramel macchiato with arlettes?”

Taemin’s words refuse to come out. He just nods his head and gives a small smile as he watches you walk off. So stupid, he thinks. He huffs while watching droplets on the side of his water glass race to the bottom. No words can explain how desperately he wants to talk to you, to have a conversation with you, to get to know you better as a person instead of a barista. But the way he freezes when he’s around you makes it impossible for any of those things to happen.

Taemin rests his head in his palms. Internally, he’s cringing at himself and wondering why his older brother, Taesun, inherited all of the charisma. Taesun is only two years older than Taemin, but it feels more than that by the level of his maturity and outlook on the world. Since his youth, Taemin can remember being jealous of his brother and trying hard to be like him.

The sound of a plate being placed on the table makes Taemin pop his head up. A plate of arlettes sits in the middle of the table with a coffee mug in front of him and the chair across from him. Before he can ask a question, you slide the chair back and sit across from him. Instantly his muscles tense and relax when you give him a soft smile. The low lighting and beams from the streetlights give you a warm appearance.

“I hope you don’t mind if I join you,” you say, your eyebrows slightly raising at the mug in front of you.

“No! Not at all!”

Taemin’s mouth closes immediately after releasing how enthusiastic and loud his answer was. But the warmth of your laugh melts any embarrassment that was soon to engulf him. Snow begins to fall again, grabbing both of your attention. Silence falls over the table while you sip the warm beverage from the mugs. Though he tries to keep his gaze on the snowflakes twirling in the wind, he can’t help but sneak glances at you. He takes a mental picture of your beauty; the way your eyes sparkle and follow the snowflakes while they dance across the window, the way you try to contain the growing smile on your face and the way pieces of your hair fall and frames your face.

“It’s beautiful,” you sigh while relaxing back in your seat and facing Taemin again. “Snow is always beautiful.”

Taemin nods. His eyes look down at the mug that is protected in between his hands. The warmth provides him comfort as he looks up to meet your eyes again.

“You don’t talk much, do you? I’m always the one to start the conversations.” You say with a smile.

“I do,” he says quickly. “I just don’t know what to say.”

Taemin watches you nod your head. He feels like disappearing when your eyes narrow at him slightly, searching his face. Taking a sip, you lean forward and smile at him.

“Is there something on your mind?” Your eyes travel to his hands that are tightly gripping the mug. “You seem tenser tonight.”

Following your eyes, Taemin immediately loosens his grip and breathes out. He’s frustrated with himself for how he’s behaving. Sure he’s had crushes in the past and had a couple of girlfriends, but none of them made him feel the way he does around you. For the past six months, you have developed a friendship with one another, if you can call it that. You talk while at the cafe, but never outside of these walls. Your conversations and presence leave him wanting to get to know you more, but the only thing in his way is himself.

“My shift ends at eleven,” you mumble before taking a sip from your mug. “Would you mind walking me home?”

Without hesitation, Taemin nods his head. The smile that spreads across your face makes his heart race as a swarm of butterflies tickle his stomach. This is your chance. Don’t mess it up, he thinks while hiding his smile while sipping from his mug. His eyes avert from your face and focus on the clock behind you. Only thirty more minutes.

One by one, people begin to leave the cafe until Taemin sits alone. An orange cat presses itself against Taemin’s leg, its purs demanding his attention. Looking down, a smile appears on his face when the cat lifts its face to see Taemin. Reaching down, his fingers caress the cat between the ears and give it praises for being so kind.

“We call him Sherbet,” you say while setting a blanket on a chair. You place your coat over your body and prepare yourself to brave the weather. “He’s been here the longest. We haven’t found a family to welcome him in. They all want kittens. But until he finds a perfect home, I am fostering him.”

Taemin’s face softens and looks down at Sherbet, who is now leaning against his leg. He can’t help but smile at the cat’s affection.

“How’d he lose his eye?”

“Don’t know,” you shrug and squat down to gently the cat’s back. “We found him abandoned in an alleyway. When we took him to the vet, they said there was nothing they could do to fix his eye. Sometimes I call him Cap’n Sherbet because he reminds me of a pirate.”

“Why don’t you adopt him?”

“I want someone to experience the joy of having a cat. If I adopted all the cats, nobody would experience their love.”

Taemin’s eyes leave Sherbet and focus on you. In the low light, he can still see the tears welling in your eyes. His chest feels heavy when he thinks about how much you have for the cats of the cafe - experiencing the joy of taking care of them and watching them get adopted and the sorrow of watching each one gets adopted except for Sherbet. You blink your tears back and smile warm-heartedly up at him.

“He likes you,” you sniff before rising to your feet. “He is never this affectionate with anyone, besides me.”

“Yeah,” he whispers, his voice trailing off. “Is he going home with you tonight?”

You nod and gingerly pick Sherbet up and wrap him in the blanket. Holding him tight to your chest, you watch Taemin rise and place on his winter protection. You suppress a smile when Taemin faces you again and reaches out to tell Sherbet how cute he looks wrapped in the blue blanket.

Snow crunches under your shoes as you trudge the snow-covered sidewalks. The crunches echo through the empty streets as you continue down the street. You hold Sherbet tight to your chest when a gust of wind appears out of nowhere and makes you stumble. You would be on the ground if Taemin hadn’t wrapped his arm around your waist and held you tight until you got your footing. You murmur a thank you as you huddle close to his body to keep warm from the frigid cold. Something is soothing about being held in his arms, you feel protected and safe.

“Where do you live?” Taemin asks through clenched teeth. If you listen close enough, you can hear them chattering.

“At Fox Run.”

“How convenient. I live at Land’s Crossing, just a block away.”

Taemin exchanges a shy smile with you before tightening his grip as you cross the street. The tip of his nose is cold to the point of being cold no longer. From the corner of his eye, he can see you place a kiss on Sherbet’s head while standing closer to his body. The aromatic scent of the cafe lingers on you and provides the only warmth in this weather. The weather gets harsher the closer you get to your apartment building. Taking one step at a time, Taemin assists you up the stairs with one hand gripping the rail.

“Thank you for walking me home,” you say a little louder to be heard over the now whipping wind. Your eyes squint as snow is lifted from the ground and smacks against your face. “Why don’t you come in until the weather gets better?”

Before Taemin can protest, the wind knocks over a trashcan and sends it rolling down the street. Its loud thud makes the two of you jump, watching it disappear into the wall of flurries. He turns and watches you punch the building’s code into the keypad. When the door clicks, he opens it and follows you inside. It takes some effort, but he manages to close the door despite the roaring wind.

“I live on the first floor,” you say with a smile, your hair is disheveled and pieces of your hair are wet from the snowflakes that were stuck in your hair but are now melted. “Follow me.”

The sounds of your shoes squeaking against the wood laminate flooring make up for the silence that has fallen between you. The building’s thick walls minimize the roar of the ferocious wind outside into a light hum. Pushing his hood back, Taemin’s hand brushes down his hair that has been misplaced by his hood.

You reach a door at the end of the hallway and enter the key into the lock and turn until a click sounds. Pushing the door open, you hold it open for Taemin to walk in before closing it behind him. You gently place Sherbet on the floor and watch him run to his favorite place, a worn blue recliner with a crocheted blanket resting on its back. You take Taemin and your coats and hang them in a closet near the front door. You hadn’t noticed before, but Taemin wore dark wash jeans, a dark green crew neck sweater with a brown wristwatch.

“It’s funny how people’s orders can reflect who they are,” you say, trying to make conversation as you turn on the lamps in the living area.

“Oh yeah?” He sits on the couch and motions for Sherbet to sit beside him. “What does my order say about me?”

You pause for a moment, looking at nothing in particular on the wall as you ponder his question. You turn to face Taemin and study his face and body - his hair looks soft like he brushed out waves in his hair, his clothes are slightly big on him to give him comfort, though he sits tensely right now, you know he usually sits relaxed with his legs stretched in front of him. Your eyes travel to his face. 

Though they say the eyes are the doors to a person’s soul, you think that you can tell someone’s soul by more than that; the way they curl their lips into a smile, the flush tone of their cheeks, the furrowed eyebrows when confused - they all go together. With Taemin, his face reads nothing but gentleness. His eyes are wide with wonder and warmly squint when he smiles, his smile is warm and stretches as far as it can before the apples of his cheeks reach his eyes. His voice is soothing and engulfs you in a blanket of comfort. Since meeting him, you have felt nothing but his amiability.

“I feel like you’re simple and equable. Someone who isn’t showboaty and is even-tempered for the most part.”

Taemin can feel his cheeks grow warm at your observation and avert his eyes to Sherbet, who’s now curled in his lap. The aroma of Caramellas grows stronger when you take a seat beside him. You sit in silence while the wind howls outside, though the walls make it sound muffled and less intense. Out the window, a sheet of white whips past the window making it difficult to lookout.

Normally, Taemin would cringe at the silence between him and another person. But with you, the silence was tolerable because your presence itself speaks volumes. He feels secure and protected when he’s with you. The two of you exchange quick glimpses and occasionally catch the other’s eyes; and when you do, a small smile spreads across your faces.

“So,” you begin. Your hands are wedged between your thighs as you lean back on the couch. “What is it that you do?”

“What do I do?”

“Yeah. You know, like where do you work? Do you have any hobbies?” You sigh and close your eyes, shaking your head. “Were those questions too personal?”

Taemin reaches out a hand and places it gently on your forearm, giving it a soft squeeze. The feelings of your fingers brushing against your skin unleashes butterflies in your stomach. You look up and see the tenderness of his face. Being this close to him, you’re able to see the tiny features of his face; his square philtrum, and the small mole on the side of his nose bridge. When he removes his hand, coldness takes over where his hand was. The best way to describe it would be to imagine someone snatching a blanket from you and leaving you without any protection from the cold.

“They aren’t too personal. I teach children to dance at the dance center downtown. When I’m not doing that -”

“Or going to Caramella’s,” you interject, making him smile.

“Or going to Caramella’s, I choreograph, dance, and listen to music. When I think about it, I don’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t dance or listen to music.”

The sparkle that was once there disappears behind a shield of darkness. His jaw tenses as he looks to the floor while his hands gently the cat that is asleep in his lap. He breathes slowly, trying to keep his emotions together.

A part of you wants to remain quiet, feeling it would be inappropriate for you to invade his privacy. But another part of you urges you to inquire about the sudden shift in his mood. You are friends and the only way to keep this friendship moving forward is being there for one another and being comfortable with the idea of confiding in one another.

“Dance is important to you.” You say. Taemin nods, not attempting to look at you. “Then why do you look so sad when you talk about it?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He snaps.

His curt reply pierces your heart. You blame nobody but yourself for trying to inch your way into his personal life. You hate when people you care about are brusque towards you because no matter how hard you try, tears always appear, ready to fall and give anyone the ammo they need to hurt you more. You whisper a sorry and rise from the couch, disappearing around the corner where your room is.

Taemin’s chest feels heavy when he realizes how his answer came out; harsh. It’s not that he didn’t want to talk about his love for dance and music, he’s just not used to doing so. When words won’t work, dance, and music relay the message his words can’t. He turns to apologize to you but watches you quickly disappear around the corner. Though your head was down, he could tell that tears were beginning to fall by the way your index and thumb pressed on the inner corners of your eyes to prevent them from falling. Idiot.

“I’m an idiot, aren’t I Sherbet?” He asks the cat that curls itself in a tighter ball. If it weren’t for Sherbet, he would go after you.

Taemin sinks into the quiet, tormented by the constant replay of his brusque tone. And each time he cringes as he remembers the look of hurt flash across your face, wincing as if his words physically lashed at you. His heart is instantly filled heavy with regret and sorrow as he remembers the tears in your eyes. 

That’s it, he thinks as he gently places Sherbet on the seat beside him.

Taemin steps lightly around the corner, careful to not give away his location. It’s easy to spot your room as it’s the only one with light illuminating under the small crack. There’s no movement coming for your room making him hesitant to reach up and knock on the door. His heartbeat rises to his ears and suddenly the only sound he can hear is shaky breaths as he knocks lightly on your door. For a moment, there is no sound until the door creaks open enough for Taemin to see the side of your face.

“___,” he sighs, grateful to see your face. “Can I come in?”

Your eyes fall to the floor before stepping aside and opening the door wider. He gives a gentle smile and steps in. Your room is minimalistic and tidy aside for the piles of books, papers, and journals on one of your nightstands. Along the light gray walls are pictures of you, the cats from the cafe, and a picture of you and Taemin. A smile creeps on his face when he remembers the staff threw him a surprise birthday party.

“Are you okay?” You ask. You try to shake the sadness from your tone but fail.

Taemin turns around to face you. The lone light on your nightstand provides the only light and adds to the somber feeling.

“Ye-yeah,” he stammers. The glossiness of your eyes makes it difficult for him to find his words until he breaks his gaze. “I wanted to apologize for earlier. I shouldn’t have said it like that.”

“No. It was my fault for intruding.” You move to sit on the bed and motion for him to sit beside you. “It wasn’t my place.”

“But I know I hurt your feelings.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just sensitive.” You sniff while blinking your eyes clear. “My mother would tell me that I’m too sensitive and needed to get tougher skin, like my younger brother. But I could never be like my brother. I wish he wasn’t so tough, he didn’t have to be.”

Your fingers unconsciously feel over a pendant hanging from your neck. Your eyes stare off in the distance, not blinking as if you want to remember what’s in front of you.

“My family didn’t have all the luxuries in the world, but we got by,” you begin as you feel the warmth of Taemin’s hand on top of yours, gently squeezing it. “One month we were struggling and he took it into his own hands and robbed a convenience store. He was an amazing runner and he got away. But, the store owner’s sons found him and beat him badly. He was put on life support until my parents decided to pull the plug. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t hear my baby brother take his last breath. He gave me this necklace the last Christmas we spent together. I knew he couldn’t afford it, but I forgot about morals when I realized he thought deeply about what I would like, something he barely did. He wanted to do something nice for me.”

Warm tears slide down your face as your bottom lip quivers, even when you tuck it in between your teeth trying to stop it. It feels like a fire is burning in your throat as you try to keep yourself from erupting into tears. You squeeze Taemin’s hand, unable to hold your emotions in anymore.

Taemin’s arms immediately pull your body into his; his hand rests on the back of your head while his other arm keeps your body close. He feels your body tremble under his touch and feels tears prick his eyes until his vision is blurred. The girl that kept him coming to the cafe, the girl that always has a smile on her face, the girl that shows love to cats, the girl that captivated him has been bottling in this pain for who knows how long.

It feels like an eternity until your sobs subside and the painful memories wash away with your tears. You take a shaky breath as you sit up. Your hands cover your face until Taemin gently grasps your wrists and moves them.

“You’ve been hurting for a while,” he whispers. His warm fingertips brush against your cheeks to wipe away your tears. “I wish I could have been there for you.”

You sniff and manage to softly smile through the tears. “You’re here now, right?”

“I’m here now,” He restates and gently fixes your hair that has been disheveled by his hand.

Between being stuck inside with the snow, being vulnerable with Taemin, and the growing friendship and attraction to him, you can’t deny the growing feeling of attraction for him. You know you’re acting on impulse but fail to stop yourself as you lean forward and press your lips against his. It takes a moment for the kiss to register in Taemin’s mind until he relaxes. But as quickly as he does, his hands hold your shoulders and push you away, his eyes wide.

“I’m sorry, Taemin,” you mutter with wide eyes.

“I have to go,” he stammers. Before you can call his name, he hurries from your room. And by the time you register what just happened, you run into the hallway only to be met by the sound of your front door closing.

It feels as if the warmth left with him as you feel cold, alone, and empty. You curse yourself for your lack of control and place your back on the wall, sliding down until you’re seated on the floor. The fireball of sorrow enters your chest and throat once again, but every time it wants to erupt, you swallow it - no matter how much it hurts.

Your arm is met with a soft brush as you see a blur of orange at your side. Looking down, you can’t help but smile at Sherbet who nestles in your lap.

“Oh, Sherbet,” you croak, your hand gently his back. “I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”

One week turns into two, and soon turns into a month, and a month turns into two since the last time you and Taemin met after that night. And every night, at his normal time, you look out the window, hoping that he will magically appear, but he doesn’t. You can’t help but blame yourself for acting on your emotions and kissing him. When the second month rolls around, you don’t bother to look out the window anymore. You stop holding onto hope and realize that you scared away the one friend you wanted to hold close. Idiot, you think as you vigorously clean the counter.

The chime of the front door sounds, but you don’t turn around, thinking someone else will take care of the customer. Your thoughts pound in your ears and drown out the customer clearing their throat behind you.

“Excuse me,” they say, making you jump around and grabbing your chest. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, it’s alright,” you say breathlessly. You straighten your posture and clear your throat. “May I help you?”

“Yes. I’m here to inquire about a cat named,” the customer looks down at their phone. “Sherbet.”

Your eyes grow wider at the sound of Sherbet’s name. Your heart beats faster in your chest at the thought of Sherbet going to a home. But you won’t hold onto that hope with much strength, nothing to you is worth holding onto with such hope anymore.

When the customer lifts their head, you can’t help but narrow your eyes at them. There’s something familiar about them; they have black hair that is pushed back, dressed in casual wear with a fashionable plaid trench coat and shows a smile you’ve only seen Taemin have. But you shake the thought and name of Taemin from your mind, thinking that you were now forcing yourself to see him in others.

“Of course,” you say and move behind the counter. You disappear for a moment before placing a piece of paper on the counter. “I just need your contact information so I can do a home inspection and interview.”

“Wow,” they laugh and begin filling out the paper. “You guys take this seriously, huh?”

“They’re creatures worthy of love and protection. Sherbet has already lived a rough life and I won’t let him live it again, not if I can help it.”

You take the paper from the customer, giving him a stern look that screamed you were deadly serious. They give an apologetic smile and look at the paper in your hands.

“Will you be able to come this week? I want it to be a surprise for my brother.”

“Shouldn’t you see if the cat is suited for your home before surprising someone with it?” You say with a harsh underlying tone. You stop yourself and sigh. This person isn’t Taemin, you think. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten a tone.”

“Don’t worry about it,” they say with a boyish smile. “I would feel the same if it were me.”

Confusion sets in you. But before you can reach out and ask what they meant, they wave goodbye and disappear out the door and into the darkness of the night. You sigh and look at the paper in your hand, your eyes scanning over the basic contact information. 

Lee Taesun. Lee Taemin…get yourself together, ___. You’re losing it.

The crisp wind nips at your nose as you trudge down a street of houses. On one hand, you carry Sherbet’s carrier while the other holds the address of Taesun. Now and then you glance at the paper and back at the houses, saying their numbers to yourself as you dodge a few kids playing whatever game they made up.

“245, 247, 249, 251,” you say low enough for only you and Sherbet to hear and stop in front of a small gate. The house has tan paneling with a black door, roof, and trim that also outlines the window. It stands at two stories and looks big enough to hold a family of 4 with more space if they could make do.

A shaky breath leaves you as you bring your hand up and ring the doorbell. Part of you wishes that no one was home, but you can hear a faint ‘Coming’ from behind the door followed by hurried footsteps. Your grip on Sherbet’s carrier gets tighter when the door opens to reveal Taesun.

“You’re here!” He exclaims and opens the door wider, waving for you to come in.

“I’m here,” you murmur as you step over the threshold. You can’t help but admire the rustic interior of the house. “You live here, alone?”

Taesun laughs and closes the door behind you. “Sometimes. I let my family stay over sometimes if they promise not to make a mess.”

Taesun’s warmth brushes by you as he signals you to follow him to a small living area. You set the carrier down and open it, allowing Sherbet to examine the home.

“You don’t seem to have anything in place to welcome a cat in your house,” you say monotonously while you walk around the room, your eyes glancing over framed pictures until you spot a familiar face.

You pick the picture up from the small wooden table and look at the smiling face next to Taesun. Taemin. The sight of him makes you want to smile and cringe as memories from that night flood back to you.

“Honestly,” Taesun begins. He stands beside you and points to Taemin in the picture. “The cat is for my brother. He always talks about the cat and this girl that he meets almost every night.”

“Did he say anything else?” You ask under your breath, trying to suppress any emotion that might want to pop up.

“Nope. I don’t know anything about this girl other than he’s been crushing on her for the last half-year,” Taesun shrugs and slumps in a chair by the window. “But he won’t tell me more. We have a work in progress relationship, I guess you can say.”

You turn to face Taesun and sit slowly on the chair across the room. “What do you mean?”

Taesun shifts uncomfortably in his chair. His eyes scan the floor as if he’s looking for the right thing to say.

“Growing up, I was always the star child. Got good grades, got into a good school, chose a great career in finance. I was the golden child. But Taemin, he lived for the arts and he’s great at it. But, you can guess how my parents felt about that.”

“Like he was a failure,” you whisper. Taesun sadly nods.

“He would use music and dance as his escape until he could escape. And looking back on it now, I wasn’t there for him. For years I’ve tried to understand why we were so disconnected. I was turning into my parents and he felt alone all those years.”

A sinking feeling opens in your heart when you think about the night Taemin didn’t want to talk about why he seemed sad talking about why he loved to dance and music. He was masking a pain that he didn’t want to show. You close your eyes and remember the harshness in his voice and the sadness swimming in his eyes. Your eyes open again and look at the picture in your hands.

“I understand,” you whisper and stand to your feet, placing the picture back in its place. “Sherbet is all yours, or your brother’s.”

“Are you sure? Aren’t you supposed to do an interview?”

“Your brother’s a good person,” you say softly and smile at Sherbet who’s now asleep in the middle of the floor. “He’ll take care of Sherbet, I know he will.”

Before Taesun and ask, you hurry out of the room and dash through the front door. You don’t look back at the house or the kids playing, you keep your eyes forward and swallow any emotion threatening to erupt from your core. The Taemin you know has been hurt so much in the past that it still lingers with him, but he never shows it. He can’t forget and he won’t allow himself to.

The windchill doesn’t bother you anymore as your mind replays the last half hour. Taemin and his relationship with Taesun, his brother wanting to adopt Sherbet for him, Taemin discussing Sherbet with Taesun, and finally, Taemin crushing on someone he met within the half-year. Your legs stop moving when you start to feel out of breath. While your mind was swirling with a thousand thoughts, your legs ran until they could no more.

Your hands are on your knees, trying to stabilize your breathing and clear your head. But Taemin’s face keeps appearing when you close your eyes. You can’t escape him, and no matter how angry you are at him for disappearing, you understand why he did. He has always been on the shyer side with you and when you kissed him, it scared him. You want to reach out and apologize to him, talk to him, but after so long, is it worth it?

“Are you sure you’re okay closing tonight?” Sam asks while pushing his arms through his jacket. “I can always do it.”

“It’s fine,” you say with a smile, walking beside him to the front door. “You always close. You should go home early for once.”

“Don’t forget to lock the door.”

“I won’t.”

“And don’t forget to shut off all the lights.”

“Goodbye, Sam!” Lazily rolling your eyes, you shove him out the door and lock it. He pretends to be hurt but his face soon melts into a smile. He waves before disappearing into the night.

You turn and look at the cafe, taking in how dead it seemed without any life in it. Normally, you would have Sherbet with you to keep you company, but now you feel more empty than ever. With nothing better to do, you grab a rag and begin cleaning the tables until you reach the one. The one where Taemin always sat. You stare at the seat he always sat in and force yourself to imagine him there. A small smile creeps on your face when you remember his voice and how his lips always poke out a little when he talks about something he truly cares about.

Then suddenly, a loud knock on the window to your side snatches you out of the trance. Your breath gets caught in your throat. Afraid to look, you slowly turn towards the sound and feel like someone pushed pause. You stare at the gentle eyes staring back at you, slightly wide in response to your scared expression.

“Taemin?” You mouth, your eyebrows furrowing. He nods and points to the door, asking to be let in.

Your legs move before you can register that boy standing on the other side of the window. Your hands work quickly to unlock the door and open it, allowing him entrance. When he enters, you notice he’s jumpier than normal as he paces back and forth, his mouth opening and closing, trying to get his words together.

“Where have you been?” You ask before thinking. He stops when you speak and cringes a little at the unexpected abruptness of your tone.

Taemin sighs and glances at you apologetically before taking a seat at his normal table. “I’m sorry, ___.”

You want to say something, but you force yourself to keep your mouth shut, your sad glare is enough to convey your feelings. Taemin motions for you to sit across from him to which you, reluctantly, do. His apologetic eyes search your face before averting to his clasped hands.

“I wanted to talk to you -”

“Then why didn’t you?” You interrupt with a tinge of hurt coating your tone.

“I didn’t know what I was going to say. The girl I -” he pauses for a moment and squeezes his eyes tight. “The girl I’ve liked for the past months confided in me and kissed me. It all happened so fast that I didn’t think. So I did what I knew I could do, run.”

Taemin opens his eyes again to reveal their glossy appearance. He reaches across the table and places his hand on top of yours.

“Before I knew it, so much time had passed that I wondered if you ever wanted to hear from me. And then, Taesun surprised me with Sherbet and said that you thought I was a good person. And I thought, ‘she still thinks I’m a good person despite ghosting her’.”

“And you decided to come to see me?”

He nods and squeezes your hand gently. “I’m sorry, ___.”

His touch sends waves of electricity through your body, making your heart skip a beat. No matter how hurt you were by his disappearance, the fact he came back and explained himself made you understand him better. He was just scared.

“I’m sorry too,” you squeeze his hand back and offer a gentle smile. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“Do you regret it? Were my lips chapped or something?” He jokes that makes you chortle.

“No! But, I feel bad for taking advantage of the moment. I got so wrapped up with everything and my feelings…”

Taemin leans forward on the table with his hand still wrapped around yours. His eyes give a gleam while he playfully smirks.

“So, you had feelings for me?”

You roll your eyes and fail at hiding the bashful smile growing on your face. “I have feelings for you.”

Silence falls between the two of you except for the light music dancing from the speakers. The moonlight shines through the window, illuminating everything it touches. It takes a moment, but you finally lock eyes with Taemin and you feel yourself about to melt. His presence makes you want to jump into his arms and run away at the same time. But even if you wanted to run, his warm brown eyes hold you captive and begs you not to go.

“___,” he speaks softly, bringing your attention back to him. “I would like nothing more than to take you on a date.”

For once, you don’t need to think of an answer. “I would like that very much.”

The sun breaks the brisk cold as the temperature rises. The streets come to life as more people come out from the shelter of their homes, including you. There’s a spring in your step that gets higher as you approach the local theater. You stop far enough back to see the marquee in its fullness.

The Madman. Starring Lee Taemin as Detective Myers.

You feel like a proud mother seeing Taemin’s name. People flow around you as you bring your phone out to take a selfie with the sign, like water flowing around a rock in the river. Your fingers move quickly and send the photo to Taemin, who is, as he stated earlier that day, nervous for opening night. You hope the picture will give him strength.

The theater is filled as the usher escorts you to your seat, the front row of the balcony. ‘The best seat in the house’, you remember him saying with a bright smile. And indeed it was. When he asked you on a date, you didn’t expect anything more than a meal at a restaurant, instead, he suggested a show and dinner. Little did you know at the time that he would be the one in the show. You smile at the playbill in your hand, your eyes staying focused on Taemin’s name. The lights dim before you can read the other names, adding to your excitement.

The show goes off without a hitch - the cast receives a standing ovation as the cast takes the stage for their final bow. But even though you enjoyed all their performances, your eyes can’t leave the bright face of Taemin. His smile is so wide that his eyes appear narrow as he waves to the audience. He brings his hand to his face, shielding his eyes from the lights as he cranes his head up. When he spots you, he frantically waves at you, jumping a little due to his excitement. Equally as excited, you bounce and wave back to the boy on stage.

Backstage is full of commotion with the cast and crew and their families. You try your best to not bump into anyone as you search for your star. It doesn’t take long as you follow the sound of a familiar laugh. You stop short when you see Taemin, Taesun, and what you believe to be their parents huddled together for a picture. If you just look at them, you wouldn’t think that they weren’t supportive of Taemin’s dreams or that he felt alone for a majority of his youth. Seeing him and Taesun joke around makes you smile as you watch them. In a way, flashbacks from you and your brother flood your mind.

“___!” Taemin calls out as his eyes meet yours. He smiles and leaves his brother’s side with his arms open wide until he reaches you and engulfs you in a hug. “I’m so glad you made it.” He whispers in your hair.

You bring your arms around his waist and hold him tight. “You did amazing tonight.”

Taemin pulls away and cradles your face in his hands. His warmth brings you comfort and shelter from the busyness going on around you. Your heart hammers in your chest as you take a small step forward to be closer to his body. His eyes fall to your lips, his as he leaned down, inches away from your face. Your breath lodges in your throat as his breath tickles your nose. Your eyes close as you rise on your toes, ready to feel his lips against yours until Taesun interrupts.

“Is this the famous ___?” Taesun calls out. The loudness of voice snatches Taemin away as he spins around and gives an embarrassed smile. He reaches behind to grab your hand, squeezing it gently to bring you to his side. “It’s nice to meet you again. And it’s nice to finally put a face with the name.”

“It’s nice to see you too,” you smile. Your fingers squeeze around Taemin’s when your heart beats faster.

You can feel the warmth of Taemin grow more prominent as he shifts on his foot, putting himself closer to you. His cheeks flush when Taesun goes on about how much Taemin likes you and before he can get too carried away, Taemin reaches out and lightly shoves his shoulder.

“Shut up,” he says quietly, but Taesun just laughs and ruffles his younger brother’s hair.

“Alright, alright.” He directs his attention back to you and softens his face. “Where are you guys going after this?”

Your mind flashes through the many conversations between you and Taemin, trying to pull a memory out that talks about the date. But when you come up blank, you look to Taemin with curious eyes. He looks down towards you and smiles softly, understanding the confusion in your eyes.

“Dinner. But, I didn’t tell her where. It’s a secret.” He winks before turning back to his brother. “We’re actually about to leave.”

“Are you going to say bye to Mom and Dad?”

Taemin’s hand squeezes around yours as he clenches his jaw. He holds himself tall while his muscles tense, his eyes looking past Taesun and to his parents. Though they are trying to make amends, it’s clear that Taemin is still hurt and finds it difficult to come to them. But the feeling of your hand on his arm relaxes him as he looks back towards you.

“It’s okay,” you whisper low enough for only him to hear. “I’ll wait outside.”

Before he can protest, you give his hand a final squeeze and leave his side until the crowd consumes you. You don’t bother to look back and push through until you exit through a side door and walk until the marquee is in your vision again.

Not much time passes until you hear the familiar voice of Taemin calling your name. He sports an overhead hoodie with a jean jacket over it, black jeans, and basic white sneakers. His stage makeup has been removed, revealing his bare face, but his hair is the same as it was on stage. He holds his arm out for you to take and you eagerly lock your elbow with his.

Leading the way, Taemin takes a slow pace, trying to savor each minute you two have together. Both of you can’t muster any words to say, deciding to enjoy the other’s presence under the stars. Now and then, you catch Taemin’s glances, his eyes sparkling more under the bright lights from shop signs. And each time, you exhale a ragged breath and turn away. Judging by the quiet snickers, Taemin enjoys seeing you flustered just by looking at you.

It’s not much farther you walk until Taemin covers your eyes and leads you into a building, helping you watch your step. A door creaks open and you use all of your senses to make a picture of where you are. But the unfamiliar scent of cooked food mixed with an aromatic air freshener stumps you. Before you can ask where you are, Taemin removes his hands, revealing a cozy living area whose furniture has been pushed to the side and replaced with a small circular table with plates in front of two chairs.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he whispers while closing the door behind him. “I wanted to have dinner alone.”

You turn to meet Taemin’s face; his expression is soft, eyes full of hope, and his cheeks flushing once again. A relieved smile appears on his face when your face brightens.

“I don’t mind at all,” you say. “You cooked?”

“I did!” He exclaims and rushes past you to the crockpot sitting on his counter. “I decided to go with the safe option of a salad, spaghetti, and breadsticks.”

“It smells great,” you smile and take a seat at the small table. Before you can speak, a soft ball of warmth grazes your leg and you immediately know the creature that has come to greet you. “Sherbet!”

You reach down to pick the cat up and hold him safely in your lap. His quiet purrs bring a smile to your face as you his back. Judging by the content on his face, he’s adapted to his new home and being spoiled, judging by the number of toys and elaborate cat tree in the corner. But your smile soon fades when your hand grazes against a small square box hanging from his collar. You bring it around to examine it more, but before you can open it, Taemin’s panicked voice makes you stop.

“Wait!” He exclaims. The sound of utensils hitting the counter is followed by his quick footsteps. He kneels beside you, holding your hand in his to prevent you from opening the box. “Don’t open it.” He gasps between breaths.

“Why?” You ask nervously. “What’s in the box?”

You squeeze the box tighter in your hand, enough so Taemin knows you aren’t letting go until he explains. You hold your gaze with his and watch his face fall in defeat. He lowers his eyes and gently pries your hand off the box, and to his surprise, you allow him to. His fingers work swiftly to unhook it from Sherbet’s collar.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” he whispers. He his lips and holds his breath for a second before exhaling. “But I guess Sherbet didn’t want to keep it a secret.”

You look down at Sherbet and mutter a sorry. Here you are, prying again, forcing him to reveal something when you should just wait and allow things to come out for themselves. The unexpected touch of Taemin’s fingers brushing against your cheek makes you jump slightly before turning to him, your eyes apologetic and beginning to gloss.

“Hey,” he whispers as he notices the tears welling in your eyes. “I’m not upset. Nervous, but not upset.” He smiles and opens the box, turning it to you to reveal the treasure inside. A simple gold chain with a ruby pendant shines at you. “___, I’ve let too many opportunities pass by. And we’ve been friends for a while. And I -”

He pauses and looks around as if the words will magically appear and come to him. But his panicked expression melts away when you softly call his name and tell him to take his time. Nodding, he takes a breath and begins again.

“I would love to be your boyfriend if you’d let me.”

“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” You laugh as Taemin exhales in relief and nods. “Tae, it’s me. Just ask me.”

“____, will you be my girlfriend?”

There’s no reason for you to think about the answer.

“I will,” you say excitedly and lean forward until your lips crash against his. Sherbet jumps from your lap, leaving the two of you for a place in his cat tree.

The slow, sweet movement of Taemin’s lips against yours intoxicates you as you press into him more, trying to feel all of the warmth radiating from his body. Nothing could prepare you for the overwhelming feeling of love growing in your chest, ready to burst at any moment. Seconds or minutes could have passed before you pull away, trying to catch your breath. An embarrassed smile is painted across your faces, but your eyes glow with the desire to love and be loved.

“Well,” Taemin says, breaking the silence that has fallen between you. “I suppose this belongs to you now.”

Gently, he transfers the necklace from the box and around your neck, his fingertips sending shivers down your spine. You look down at the gem winking back at you and can’t contain your growing smile.

“Since we’re officially a couple,” Taemin says, sitting back on his knees. His eyes are filled with admiration at the necklace hanging from your neck. “Can I get free coffee and snacks from Caramella’s?”

You pause for a moment before bursting with laughter. “We’ll see, Taemin. We’ll see.”