It's raining outside, I hate it. Am I the only one who gets affected by the weather, mentally? Maybe, I'm sensitive and over dramatic. Because whenever it rains, this odd sadness lingers over me. Kinda like the dark clouds that appear on the sky when it's about to start pouring, they make such beautiful sky loose it's brightness, it's playful and lively blue colour, turning it into a gloomy mess, that rarely anyone likes — apart from the plants, of course. 

Though, I'm not sure if it's only the rain that makes me sad.  Because even when there's heat and sun, the dark clouds remain floating over my head. And as the ground moans in pain from the burning sensation left by the beans of the sun, I dry out, like a flower without water, back hunched and head resting between my handa as I cry. 

Then again, when the weather is neither rainy nor hot, I still feel sad. The slight wind can't shake the clouds from over me and the smell of a spring day can't bring a smile to my face, like it did when I was younger. I remain stiff, unable to bloom and keep drowning in my own thoughts, that slowly take over me, trap me like moving sand.

Let's not even talk about snow. Seeing it, only makes me want to run outside, burry myself under it's thickness and stay there, suffocate or die from the cold. And just as I thought the cold would numb my pain, it only makes it stronger, stinging. It floods through my veins, implanted deep into them, same as drugs.

It's raining outside, I hate it. Am I the only one who wished their feelings were determined by the weather? Maybe, I'm stupid and weird. Because, if they did, the forecasters would predict them and they would change in between seasons. Now, they're just stuck, and I, forced into a wave of sadness that won't ever go away. All I do is wait, wait to wake up one morning and listen to my heart beat in a different way; faster, happier, not slow and sad as it always does. 

Though, I'm not sure if I'd like to feel anything other than pain. I'm scared of change. What if being happy one day will make me sadder the next?

Besides, a sadness forecast would be useless. Just like the weather, our feelings can't be exactly predicted. 

It's pointless then, isn't it?