“No, you’re not coming and that’s final.” Mark declared over the phone. He looked out the window of Jackson’s house to see a frowning Youra at a window in her own house. She put up a black dress to show Mark.

“Seriously Mark, I’m fine. Let me come with you guys.”

Jackson took the phone from Mark’s hand and looked out the window, wagging his finger like he was scolding a child. “Bi zue and just stay at home, we’ll be back in a few hours.”

Youra scrunched her nose before sticking her tongue out, drawing the curtains close and ending the call. Jackson sighed and handed Mark back his phone.

Today was the day of Namjoon’s funeral and the boys had decided it was best that Youra didn’t come with them. It would bring too up too many bad memories.

“You ready then?” Mark looked at Jackson’s suit. “Where’s your tie?”

Jackson showed Mark his tie in his hand. “Right here.” He put it around his neck and tried tying it but ended up tying it wrong.

Mark chuckled and pulled the tie off. “Even Youra can tie better than you can.” He put it around his neck again and tied it for him.

“Yah, we look like an old married couple.” Jackson joked as he watched Mark tighten his tie before moving back to see how it looked.

“You forget that I’m in love with our other best friend, not you.” Mark quipped before patting his shoulder and heading towards the door. Jackson shook his head and followed him outside.

-

Maybe they should have brought Youra along after all.

Mark and Jackson stood at the back of the crowd, watching as the priest spoke to everyone. He spoke of grief and asked that everyone pray along with him so that Namjoon’s soul could attain peace, wherever he is.

They watched as Yoongi and Jin were asked to speak a few words about Namjoon. It was honestly heart breaking to watch, especially with all the memories they had of You-Jin’s funeral rushing back.

After talking, the two of them approached Namjoon’s closed coffin and placed a small bouquet of white roses on it before stepping back and standing with Taehyung, who was staring at the coffin with glazed over eyes.

Then the coffin was buried into the ground and everyone was taken to a separate hall where food was served. Mark and Jackson sat down at an empty table with plates of Yukgaejang and small shots of Soju.

“To Namjoon, I guess.” Jackson looked at his shot before putting it up. Mark clinked his shot with Jackson’s and they both drank before getting back to their Yukgaejang, even though neither of them was in the mood to eat.

“Did you know about Namjoon wanting to be a music composer?” Jackson asked Mark, in reference to Yoongi’s speech. Mark shook his head. “I had no idea. I thought music was just a hobby of his.”

They turned to Yoongi who along with Jimin was trying to convince Taehyung not to drink any more soju. They couldn’t make out what any of them were saying but more than what the boys were saying, Mark and Jackson could hear all the people whispering around them, not even trying to keep their voices down.

Jackson looked away and played with his food. Who would have thought that they would all become like this?

These kids from high school were all going through some or the other form of loss and looking at them, it seemed like no one could have ever made out that there once used to be a time where they were the most bright and cheerful of kids.

It felt like the real world was finally catching up with them. Dreams and fantasies seemed like such childish thoughts when you watched funerals and loved ones being taken away.

And it felt like nothing would ever be the same.

It was scary how the one thing that scared human beings the most was the only constant thing in their life, change.

Jackson for a brief moment wished that they had brought Youra along. He would have held her hand and pretended like he was trying to console her, when in reality he was trying to console himself.

But he knew that was a selfish thought, and that if anyone deserved to stay away from this constant reminder of death and loss that was Namjoon’s funeral, it was her.

But then again if she was here, he wouldn’t have had to have faced Eun-byul alone.

He picked out a piece of beef from his soup and ate it, trying not to think of Youra or he would end up crying again.

It always amazed him as to how strong she was. Thinking about all she had gone through was enough to make him tear up so to imagine her actually going through all that was really hard to swallow for him as her best friend.

“You’re thinking about her too, huh?” Mark questioned on noticing how distracted Jackson looked.

“Of course I am.” He picked out another piece of beef from his soup and held it up for Mark. “Now eat or Youra’s going to scold you when we get back.”

Mark chuckled before opening his mouth and eating. He picked out a piece from his own bowl and put it in Jackson’s bowl. “There, now we’re even.”

“We would have been even if you fed me but alright Tuan.”

Mark rolled his eyes and was about to say something back when Yoongi walked up to them. They stood up and offered their condolences.

“Thanks. How’s the food? The food was pretty last minute so we wanted to make sure everything’s fine.”

“The food’s great, Yoongi.” Mark reassured, even though he had only had about a bite of it. “How’s Namjoon’s family holding up?”

“Honestly, not too well. I don’t think anyone expected this to happen.” Yoongi sighed. “I see Youra hasn’t come. I don’t blame her, it’s probably too early for her to be attending another funeral.”

Mark smiled at Yoongi’s words. Normally people at this point, especially older adults, would start asking Youra to move on and to get on with her life. Or they would gossip behind her back and say that she had been grieving for too long.

It was sad to see people judge her for mourning for someone she was very close with.

So Mark was glad Yoongi wasn’t holding a grudge against Youra for not coming.

“Yeah, that’s what we thought too.” Jackson spoke up. “Listen, hyung, is there anything we can do to help?”

Yoongi shook his head. “Nothing as of now. But I’ll let you know if there’s anything you can do.” Yoongi looked at Jin who was trying to stop some random lady’s advances and patted Mark’s arm. “You boys eat up, I’m going to check on everyone else. Tell Youra I said hi.”

They nodded and sat back down as Yoongi spoke to other people attending the funeral.

“You think we should take some back for Youra?” Jackson asked, pointing to his soup.

“We could, but that would mean asking someone for help and the only person we can ask is probably busy.” Mark pointed out as he took another bite of his now cold soup.

“Point. Besides, I don’t even know if Youra likes Yukgaejang. Does she?”

“She eats everything, she probably likes this too. She wouldn’t like the alcohol though.” Mark smiled, remembering how she had very vehemently sworn off alcohol the moment their biology class on the effects of drugs and alcohol on the human body was over.

Jackson chuckled, thinking of the same thing. “Of course, what a pair of goody two shoes.”

“You forget that she used to sneak out at night to go to that old swing set no one goes to anymore.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right.” Jackson snapped his fingers in remembrance. “Maybe she pretends to be like a goody two shoes.” He said offhandedly.

The two looked at each other and grinned. “Nah.”

-

After paying their respects to