Chapter 9
Since You've Been GoneYoura made her way back home after spending some time with Jackson and his mom. His mom had particularly liked the brownies Youra had made and made her promise that the next time she would make them, she would make them with her.
Jackson, being no good at baking himself, offered to be the taste tester.
But he was quickly banned from being anywhere near the actual baking because both ladies knew that if given the opportunity, he would probably end up eating the batter raw.
She locked the door behind her and was about to shout “Honey, I’m home!” but then stopped herself.
It was weird how little traditions that she had started with her sister still seemed to haunt her, even though her sister was long gone.
She sometimes wished that her sister had taken away the traditions away with her.
At least that way she wouldn’t be constantly reminded of her.
She looked at the empty brownie tray she had left on the table and decided to distract herself with washing it and some of the utensils she hadn’t washed earlier.
Who needs friends when you can wash dishes until all your tears are gone?
(Don’t worry, she’s not crying.)
She let the tray soak in some warm water before getting started on the rest of the utensils.
Living alone actually seemed fun at times. Sure, she was alone whenever she was at home but somehow that made her feel more relaxed because she didn’t have to deal with her parents.
And she could eat whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted without getting nagged.
Every cloud has a silver lining. If only it were that easy to be positive with so many other things in life.
She washed the utensils and then scrubbed the brownie tray before drying everything off and putting them back in their places. She grabbed her phone and looked for any notifications.
She oddly enough was waiting for one from Namjoon, she figured that there would be at least some noise on his end after all these days but there wasn’t.
She wondered what his intentions behind introducing her to Taehyung were. If he knew that they would end up together or whether he really just wanted a replacement older sibling for Taehyung while he was gone.
If the latter was the case, then well she was doing a pretty bad job at it.
She looked at her contact photo for Namjoon, it was probably the only photo they had together. It was at school, at one of the music competitions their school was hosting, with him putting his arm around her wearing one of the biggest grins she had ever seen on him.
Despite being known as one of the top schools in Seoul when it came to academics, weirdly enough their school loved hosting competitions and festivals like this. Whether it was music, photography, painting or even dance, Seoul National was considered the place to go when it came to events or festivals.
The music competition in 2017 was the first time she had heard Namjoon rap and the first time he had gotten on stage and performed in front of a live audience.
She always knew that he loved music and listening to rap, often he would get her opinion on new songs he found or new beats he would compose but she never would have imagined that he actually harboured a deep passion for rapping and actually performing.
That day when he got up on stage and slowly ended up getting the whole audience shouting in excitement and nodding along to his rap was according to Youra, easily the happiest day of his life. He was so happy that after his performance, he ran off stage and made a beeline for Youra.
And he did something that really shocked her, he threw his arms around her and picked her up. He held her in the air tight and only after putting her down did she see tears in his eyes, happy tears.
She remembered him telling her how happy he was and how grateful he was to her for always taking an active interest in his music and making him feel like he was actually talented.
And she remembered feeling so proud of him and so happy to see him like this.
Three years later, when she met him, she could still picture his smiling face the day of the music competition. She often wished she would get to see him like that again.
But now something felt amiss, she wondered if he was okay and even though a part of her was telling her that she was overreacting and thinking too much, she still worried.
Namjoon was often the opposite of her at times. Unlike Youra who used to project her emotions on others with vigour, Namjoon preferred to keep his emotions to himself unless he felt really strongly about something like the day of the music competition.
And Youra liked to think that through all the nights they had hung out at the swing set talking that she was one of the few people Namjoon truly showed himself to.
So running away from Seoul so quickly and being vague and cryptic was so different from the Namjoon she knew.
She clicked on his contact and called him but there was no reply. She left a voicemail asking him to call her whenever he could before calling his brother.
“Hello?” Taehyung’s voice came out somewhat muffled.
“Tae, hey so I was wondering-”
“Sure.”
“What?”
“I said sure, I’m free tomorrow, maybe we could go to that new café that’s opened near your place. I found it whe-”
“Um Tae, that’s not why I called you.”
“Oh.”
She stifled a smile. “I actually called to ask about Namjoon. Has he picked up any of your calls lately?”
“No, but he’s been texting me every now and then. I guess he just isn’t in the mood for calls, you know how he gets sometimes.”
No, I don’t know how he gets. “Yeah, I guess so. So is he okay?”
“Yeah, he’s fine. Why, what’s up?”
“Oh nothing, it’s my Namjoon sense. You know like a spidey sense?” She said while giggling. “I just had a feeling about him so I thought I’d call and ask.”
He chuckled. “Maybe you could be the next Gwen, but like a Korean version.”
“Trilingual, Korean Gwen, has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
He laughed. “I think Youra has a better ring to it though.”
She blushed. “Why are you always so blatant like that?”
“I don’t know, you do this to me?” What initially seemed to have been an attempt at being suave ended up coming out as a question, and Youra found it endearing how he had all of a sudden become so self-conscious.
“Looks like I ruined you.” She said before immediately wincing at the double meaning.
Great, just great. You just had to make things awkward, didn’t you? See, this is why Mark and Jackson are your only friends because they’re the only ones wh-
Oh.
There was an awkward silence on the phone, bringing somewhat of a déjà vu from a few hours ago when neither of them were able to strike up a conversation that lasted more than a few seconds.
How on Earth was she supposed to expect this to grow into something more?
She cleared . “Well, I better get going then. Talk to you later.”
“Wait, look I just,” He sighed. “I kn
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