Youra woke up that morning feeling really conflicted. She wanted to be upset at how her best friend had shouted at her and not given her a chance to explain something that was so simple.

She hated that no matter how much she tried explaining, he would always shut her down.

She hated that he was upset with her for something that wasn’t even true, it was just a misunderstanding.

But at the same time, she couldn’t stop replaying her kiss with Taehyung last night. It made her feel all warm and giddy, like someone had wrapped her up in her favourite comforter on a cold night.

Only it seemed like she didn’t deserve the comforter, the cold was something she was going to have to address at some point or the other. She couldn’t let it go on like this.

But how was she supposed to get through to him?

She picked up her phone and scrolled through her contacts. Well, she didn’t have to really scroll through them, Jackson and Mark’s contacts were favourited for easy access. She stared at the contact photo she had for Mark.

It was their first week of university and the trio had gone out to celebrate. The boys thought it would be fun to drink, and that was their first time drinking. Youra had sworn off alcohol since the 10th grade so she was the only sober one there but she was so happy she was.

Because who else would take embarrassing photos and videos of her best friends when they were drunk?

One of the photos she had taken was of Mark passed out, with his head on the table that they were at, which was now her contact photo for him.

He looked absolutely adorable.

Then there was Jackson, who seemed to get louder the more and more he drank.

Why couldn’t he be one of those sleepy drunks, like Mark was?

But then again if he was, Youra would have had her work cut out for her considering just how difficult it was to get Mark home because he was asleep for most of the time, except for the occasional getting up and smiling at her, as though he was dazed.

Mark’s smiles and grins were her favourite, although she would never admit that out loud lest people start thinking she’s a creep and Mark starts wondering if she was okay or not. They were the sort of smiles that made you smile back instantly because you could see pure happiness radiating through them. He never really smiled if he didn’t mean it, making them all the more special.

And when he smiled, his eyes would turn into little crescents and you couldn’t help but just soften at how adorable and happy he looked.

People often said the two of them had contagious smiles and when they were younger, Youra and Mark had secretly decided that they were soulmates.

Secretly because they didn’t want to hurt Jackson’s feelings but soulmates nonetheless.

She sighed on looking at Mark’s photo on her phone.

She could really go for one of his hugs right about now, which was another thing she loved about him.

He gave the best hugs.

The best, most comforting hugs.

She wanted him to rub her back and coo into her ears, the way he did whenever she was upset (which before You-Jin’s passing was pretty rare).

And she wanted him to k-

Wait, that was weird.

She put a hand to her cheek, just below her eye. Had he kissed her tears away before? She sat there in thought, feeling a blush on her cheeks.

Maybe he had done that when they were younger.

Yeah, that was it.

She looked at the photo one last time before putting her phone away. She got up and headed to the bathroom.

Time for another cold shower.

-

Youra sat in the living room of her house, watching one of her favourite shows, Friends. There was something so comforting about the show, it reminded her of the US and her days at elementary school and middle school.

When things were much less complicated.

One of her favourite episodes was playing, ‘The one where Ross got high’. She especially loved the scene where Monica and Ross start exposing each other and then the rest of them start contributing.

“I love Jacque Cousteau!”

“I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle!”

“I WANNA GO!”

She burst out into giggles as she said the dialogues along with the characters. She had practically memorised that whole scene and no matter how many times she watched it, she still found it funny.

It was a good thing that Friends was the one thing Mark and Jackson didn’t watch as often as she did because if they did, she probably would have gotten upset just by watching the show.

She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose before hearing the ting! sound that meant her brownies were ready. She shot up and promptly raced to the kitchen, not even bothering to pause the show as she went. She turned off the oven and opened it, humming in contentment at the rich smell of dark chocolate now wafting strongly in the kitchen. She grabbed a cooling rack and placed it on the coffee table in the living room so she could directly bring the brownies there. She brought them over and sat back down again, wishing she had a blanket to snuggle into.

She tried grabbing a piece of brownie but flinched at how hot it was so she figured it needed a bit longer to cool down. She debated on getting some Nutella but ended up not getting any, instead she got up to get the blanket that she wanted from her room upstairs.

When she came downstairs, there was someone at the door. Grabbing a piece of the now somewhat cooled down brownie, she walked up to the door and opened it.

Her eyes widened and she immediately stopped chewing.

It was Taehyung holding a bunch of flowers in his hands, looking just as shocked as she looked.

But unbeknownst to her, he was shocked in a good way.

She was wearing only an oversize shirt which hit her right at her mid-thigh and glasses that seemed to frame her face and made her look smart.

And he couldn’t take his eyes off her.

She looked like what he imagined her to be like after dating someone for so long that she didn’t care about her appearance, which oddly made her even more good-looking in his eyes.

Because that cool, relaxed vibe was the sort of feeling you only got when you were comfortable with your surroundings and people around you, when you could be yourself without having to worry about anything.

Taehyung couldn’t help but imagine her looking like that as she cuddled up into his chest, their limbs all entangled, with them having no intentions to get up, rather they just wanted to stay in bed all day and laze around.

He was starting to feel his cheeks heat up, and it didn’t help that she wasn’t wearing any pants.

“I um,” He coughed and looked away, “I’m going to go now. These are for you.” He handed her the flowers he had gotten and was about to walk away.

“Wait!” She swallowed the brownie in her month. “Tae, um wait a sec. Come in, I’ll just go and get changed.”

She left the door open and ran up the stairs. She got into her room, closed the door and immediately face palmed. She looked at the flowers in her hands. They were white daisies. She buried her face into them.

Tienna, how embarrassing.

But also very convenient, the one day I wanted to sort of be left alone, he visits me.

Youra shook her head, she was still somewhat glad to see Taehyung, she shouldn’t be thinking that way. She put the flowers down and looked through her wardrobe for something to change into and settled on a simple white shirt and black leggings after much deliberation.

She brushed through her hair and looked at herself in the mirror. She felt somewhat guilty as she looked at herself, she felt like she really wasn’t putting in as much effort she was supposed to.

But at the same time, she felt really tired. It felt like her fight with Mark, the fact that he was so upset with her and not having any contact with both of her best friends seemed to drain her, and she wanted nothing more than to be alone right now, so that she could get herself back together again.

She tied her hair up into a ponytail, grabbed the flowers and walked downstairs again. Taehyung was watching TV as he waited for her but got up when he saw her coming downstairs. He scratched the back of his head and Youra smiled at how shy he seemed.

“Thank you for the flowers, they’re lovely.”

“Oh, you’re welcome. I was passing by a flower shop and I thought of you. I’m sorry for coming without prior notice.”

Youra shook her head and smelled the flowers. “That’s okay, I don’t mind.”

Sure, you don’t.

“I’m gonna go look for a vase for these. You can sit down, have some brownies.”

He nodded and sat down as she looked for an empty vase in the dining hall. The centrepiece of the dining table was empty so she filled some water into that and slowly placed the flowers into it. Then she made her way to the living room and sat down beside Taehyung, who was slowly chewing a brownie.

“Is it any good?” She asked while taking a piece herself.

“Yeah, it’s delicious. I usually don’t like walnuts but they taste really good in this.” Taehyung smiled as he tried not to wince at his lie.

He hated walnuts.

“I’m glad to hear that.” She looked at the tray of brownies and was struck with an idea.

 Apology brownies!

She could take some for Mark’s siblings and Jackson’s mom too. She made a mental note to go see everyone as soon as Taehyung left.

Wow, look at you already trying to get rid of Taehyung.

She looked at Taehyung and smiled in an attempt to make the awkward silence looming around them less so. Needless to say, it really wasn’t working very much.

She looked at the TV and tried to make conversation about that. “Do you watch Friends too?”

“No, but hyung does. My English isn’t really that great. He’s the fluent one.”

“Aah right, do you know any other languages other than Korean?”

He shook his head and looked somewhat disappointed with himself. “No, just a bit of Japanese.”

Good going, Youra.

“Ooh, Japanese. That’s nice.”

They both nodded and looked around the room, avoiding eye contact.

As if that would make talking to each other easier.

After a while of some more painful silence, Taehyung patted his knees, stood up and said, “I should probably be heading home right now.”

She stood up too and offered him a terse smile. “Right, right.”