Warning(s): cursing
Length: 7.2k words

Baekhyun hates Monday nights because he’s a designated driver of a shady collective of robbers, and on Mondays, these robbers target banks. Although Baekhyun doesn’t see what’s wrong with taking money from those that already have so much of it to begin with, he hates it when the police get involved—and they always get involved, and he always has to end his already awful nights with a police chase into downtown Daegu until he can shake them off.

Unfortunately, this is the way things are. This is the way things have been for the past six years.

It’s waiting outside banks in a stolen car while he covers himself with a facemask and sunglasses. It’s keeping one hand on the gearstick and the other on the steering wheel as he listens closely for the gunshots, the signals, the start the car yelling from Minseok, and the inevitable sirens that always follow. It’s splitting the money and thinking that it’ll never be enough. It’s the heart attack that always follows, the realization that he’s ed, that there’s no going back—and there never will be.

Baekhyun wishes that he can just walk away, but he’s a firefly; he lives in the night, and sometimes the only source of light is a fire.

So he burns.

Maybe at one point he’ll combust into flames. Or blow up in an explosion. But he doesn’t think about that. He can’t think about that. He merely clenches his jaw when gunshots go off inside the bank, merely starts the car when Minseok jumps in and yells for him to drive the out of here.

The theory is that if he’s burning, he might as well as light up a few things before he goes. Besides, explosions are cool, aren’t they? If he’s to die, then this is the best way to go: doing something that excites him, at the very least makes him feel alive. People die all the time because they weren’t eating healthily enough, or they just got too old and didn’t wake up, and those people float into their next life quietly and peacefully, but him? He’ll go out with a bang, in a firework display that kisses the stars before they join those heavenly bodies.

- - - - -

“500,000 American dollars.”

“Nice.”

“Nice? Lux, you can buy a decent apartment in the city with this.” Minseok slaps Baekhyun in the arm with a wad of cash. They’re sitting on the hood of one of the getaway cars (a white Hyundai Veloster N) on the roof level of a parking garage. Minseok’s lackeys usually just drop off Baekhyun’s share at his house, but tonight Baekhyun already them has them in his car for his other meeting in the city. “This is the most we’ve made in a night this year,” Minseok continues. “That’s more than nice.”

“Well, it’s only February, so it’s not that impressive.”

“You don’t have to be such a about it,” Minseok mutters with a huff. He narrows his cat-like eyes. “By the way, why haven’t you moved out here yet? Why’re you still living in the middle of nowhere? What’re you saving all that money for?”

Minseok asks this nearly every time Baekhyun decides to stash his spoils instead of spending it, and Baekhyun never gives him a straightforward answer. Fortunately, Minseok isn’t the nosy type because as long as he gets paid too, then he’s happy in his own world.

“By the way,” Minseok says, filling in the silence, “that was some intense driving today. I thought for sure we were ed, but—” Minseok whistles. “I forget who you are sometimes. You’re sick at driving, you know that? When we spun around at the intersection, I thought I was gonna die. I think I did die—or maybe I ascended or some .”

“Maybe,” Baekhyun murmurs absentmindedly. “I just wanted to get us out of there.”

“And that’s why you’re so ing sick! This is like breathing to you!” Minseok shakes his head in disbelief—which he always does when he gets to experience Baekhyun’s flagrant driving firsthand. Not very many people get to experience it, especially not during a car chase. “Alright, it was nice talking to you again,” Minseok says, patting Baekhyun on the shoulder. “Just keep your Mondays and Thursdays open, or call me when you got something going on.”

“Will do.”

Minseok parts way with Baekhyun shortly thereafter, leaving him standing alone in the parking lot. He thinks about not going to tonight’s meeting with Kim Junmyeon and going home instead, but he knows that Junmyeon will just find him, so it’s better to do it this way.

With a heavy sigh and an even heavier tread, Baekhyun makes his way back to his Jaguar and starts to drive it to the “nice part” of Daegu—or the part where the police officers actually give a about the people.

Baekhyun isn’t bitter that some people live better lives than him, however. He’s glad that they have what they have, but he’s also angry that he can never experience those things.

Once upon a time, he yearned for normal life just like everyone else. He wanted to move out of the countryside, go to a nice university, get a degree, find a well-paying and stable job, buy a house, and start a family. Unfortunately, priorities change, and the only thing Baekhyun wants now is to rid himself of the parasite that is Kim Junmyeon. Baekhyun can’t even begin to think of having a normal life as long as he’s affiliated with that , and as long as he keeps digging himself deeper into a hole of crime, he’ll never get that normalcy—not even if he severs his ties to Junmyeon.

Junmyeon.

Even his name tastes like acid.

When Baekhyun pulls up to the tall building that houses Junmyeon’s penthouse, he feels his stomach start to churn. Kim Junmyeon is one of the most awful men ever to walk the earth, and it’s all too unfortunate that he happens to be one of Korea’s powerful. Having as much power as he does at such a young age is dangerous—but it’s fatal when paired with his turbulent emotions.

Junmyeon has stationed guards at the first floor of the building, and when they spot Baekhyun walking in through the front entrance, they immediately circle him to disarm him of any weapons. They give him a pat-down, and as usual, they find the gun in his jacket pocket but not the switchblade in his shoe. Once they’re finished with him, they of course check the duffel bag that Baekhyun has brought with him. Upon opening it and seeing the racks of cash inside, the guards deem it as safe.

“He’s good,” one of the guard murmurs into his earpiece. “He’s coming up.”

The same guard then ushers Baekhyun towards the elevator and once inside, presses the button for the 30th floor.

It takes about two minutes for the elevator to reach the uppermost floor, and in that time, Baekhyun always takes the moment to mentally prepare himself for what’s to come. Although he and Junmyeon are on neutral terms, they’re not at all friends, and Junmyeon is always trying to tempt him to dig deeper into crime.

When the elevator doors open, Baekhyun is once more greeted by the luxurious view Junmyeon’s penthouse offers. Daegu always looks good in the night (when the city is dark) and from afar (because its ugly details are unrecognizable), and the view from above highlights just that. Perhaps that’s why Junmyeon opted for a penthouse with floor-to-ceiling windows. In fact, the black-haired man is standing in front of one, his hands in his pockets as he casually watches the city.

“Junmyeon,” Baekhyun says to get his attention, but he doesn’t even turn.

“Lux,” Junmyeon says back. “You’re always on time. Did I tell you how much I like that?”

“Maybe, but I don’t care enough to remember.”

Baekhyun’s aloof reply makes Junmyeon turn, and he showcases how his cheeks turn puffy when he smiles. “You’re always so jaded,” Junmyeon notes. “I’m just trying to make conversation with you. There’s no crime in that.” His round eyes fall from Baekhyun’s face to the bag that he’s holding. “So how much do you have for me today?”

“It’s half a million in USD.” Baekhyun tosses towards Junmyeon’s feet. “We good?”

Junmyeon’s eyes are naturally indifferent, but upon hearing half a million, they curve upwards when he breaks into an excited grin. “We’re good,” he says. “I’m always so surprised when you come over here with so much cash on a Monday.” He kicks the bag aside in what Baekhyun construes as a small, arrogant show of power. “Doesn’t it make you mad?” Junmyeon asks. “You risk your life in those street races, and I know you’re behind some of those bank robberies too. Don’t you want a taste of your own earnings?”

“I don’t need much money to be happy unlike other people,” Baekhyun answers tersely. He knows where this is going. The first Monday of every month is one of his most predictable days.

“If you join me, you know you can forget about the debt.”

There it is. Junmyeon is always trying to get Baekhyun to join him and his multiple schemes.

“You can stop street racing,” Junmyeon proposes. “You can make it as a professional racer, you know. If you wanted, you could travel to anywhere in the world.” Junmyeon draws his hand out of his pocket to start numbering the cities—as he always does. “You could go to Bahrain, Dubai, France—anywhere. And people would know you too. I could make you so powerful.”

“I’m not interested,” Baekhyun rebuffs him. “I’m not racing for money and fame, Junmyeon. I’m happy where I’m at.”

“Oh, really?

“I’m sure.”

“No, you’re not.” Junmyeon takes a seat on his couch and pours himself a glass of wine. He offers one to Baekhyun, but Baekhyun declines—as always. “You’ve been trying to pay off your brother’s debt for what? Five years? You’re not happy with that, and anyone can tell.” He takes a sip of his wine and sets it back down while he shakes his head. “You want out, and I’ve been trying to tell you that you can get out—if you join me. Don’t you want to be free, Lux?” Junmyeon tilts his head. “Baekhyun?”

The sound of his birthname on the tongue of someone like Junmyeon is revolting, causing Baekhyun to scowl. His name is one of the only things that he likes about himself, and it’s the one that maybe’s still good about him. He won’t let Junmyeon use it for effect.

“Junmyeon, I don’t give a who you are,” Baekhyun hisses. “You don’t get to call me that. And for the record, the answer is still no. I’m never joining you and your little gang of deviants.”

“Why not?” Junmyeon pushes. “You could be so powerful with the right resources and people to help you, and you’d be doing me such a big favor.”

“Are we done here?” Baekhyun asks impatiently. He crosses his arms to make a point.

Junmyeon is far from being done with his sales pitch into the great Kim Corporation, but he’s smart enough to know when to stop (and try again next time). He sits back and sighs softly, seemingly ready to allow Baekhyun to go his way, but then he opens his mouth.

“Lux,” Junmyeon starts, “just answer one question for me.” Baekhyun nods wearily, and Junmyeon stares at him directly in the eyes as he asks his question. “How does it feel knowing that you’ll never pay off your brother’s debt?” Baekhyun’s stomach is churning again, and he feels that same sense of despair the night Baekbeom died. “How does it feel,” Junmyeon continues in a toxic whisper, “knowing that you’re all alone on this?”

“That’s two questions,” Baekhyun mutters, keeping his voice steady, “and I don’t have time for either.”

“That’s okay.” Junmyeon waves him off and looks towards Daegu’s night skies. “I already know the answer anyways. Have a good night, Lux.”

Though tonight’s exchange is brief, Baekhyun still leaves Junmyeon’s penthouse feeling awful. In fact, he feels so sick in the stomach that when he gets back to his car, he has to hold his steering wheel with both hands as he takes deep breaths in and out to feel some semblance of okay again.

How does it feel knowing that you’ll never pay off your brother’s debt? How does it feel knowing that you’re all alone on this?

Those two questions don’t just sting; they burn. For Baekhyun, those questions cut right into what’s making him feel so hopeless inside. Not only does having to pay off such a large debt keep him from doing nearly anything normal, it keeps him anchored to a world of crime. There’s no legitimate job in the world that he can be good at and can help him pay off his brother’s outstanding debt to Junmyeon. Perhaps if he started his own crime organization, it’d be easier, but that’s the next thing; Baekhyun vehemently refuses to drag other people into this mess any further than he already has—which why he’s so lonely.

No one will ever understand, and no one will ever come close to feeling this despair.

“I’m ed,” Baekhyun whispers to himself as he leans his forehead on the back of his hands. “I’m ed.”

Baekhyun coughs to keep himself from crying, and it’s in moments like this when he realizes why some people yield to the darkness. It’s easier to give up than it is to keep going. Oh, how easy it would be to just join Junmyeon and live a life filled with a crime because at least he’d be living a life without feeling like he has a chain around his neck.

But he’s never doing that. For the life of him, he’ll never join Junmyeon. The day he joins Junmyeon must be the day he dies because he’ll never surrender the last bit of decency that he still has just to take the easy way out.

“I can do this,” Baekhyun reassures himself after another minute of self-pity. “I can so I will.”

With a shaky breath, he lifts his head and starts his car. Baekhyun knows that he’s an awful person himself, but he can never be as bad as Junmyeon or his cronies, so at the very least he has that going out for him.

It’s almost midnight, but Baekhyun doesn’t visit the nice part of Daegu too often, so he decides to enjoy the moment for once and take a drive through its calm streets. Besides, there’s no better time than the night to take a drive. Daegu is crowded and bustling during the day, but during the night, it’s a different world altogether; it’s a world where everything feels like it might be okay, like maybe things won’t be so bad.

In the midst of driving down a boulevard, a figure with a familiar head of red hair catches Baekhyun’s eyes.

“What the , Mark?” Baekhyun mutters under his breath. He has only seen the back of the guy’s head, but he already knows that it’s Mark. There’s no one as boyishly stupid to dye their hair such a striking shade of red. Who else can it be?

When the boy turns around after throwing something away into a trashcan, Baekhyun’s suspicions are confirmed. It’s Mark. Baekhyun parks his car at the side of the street and gets his phone out to call Mark. Before he can do so, however, another figure enters his field of view, and Baekhyun’s jaw drops when he realizes who it is.

Angel?

Mark grins at Ange as she exits the building which Baekhyun recognizes as an arcade. In her hands is a stuffed toy—a big, yellow Pikachu. Although Baekhyun can’t see her face, he knows it’s her because of the baby blue fuzzy jacket that she’s wearing from earlier. She and Mark exchange a few words outside, and Mark laughs at something she says before he nudges his head towards his car (a red Chevrolet Camaro) parked further down the street. They begin walking towards it, and Mark makes a strange movement; at first Baekhyun thinks he’s just stretching, but then he realizes that Mark is trying to put his arm around Ange’s shoulders.

“Jesus, ,” Baekhyun says to himself with a chuckle. Mark, as much as he’d like to, has no game whatsoever. The sight of seeing Mark attempt and fail to put his arm around Ange is so comical to Baekhyun that he almost dismisses his frustration with them.

Mark still disobeyed him by being out and about past 11PM, and as for Ange… Well, Baekhyun can’t be surprised at this point. She’s young and curious—the greatest duo when it comes to getting into trouble. Granted, she’s not venturing into anywhere dangerous. At least she’s only visiting an arcade, and at least she’s with Mark—at the safe part of Daegu.

Baekhyun watches the pair get inside Mark’s car and puts his phone down. He decides that it’s fine, that they’re just average 20-somethings trying to live their lives. Just because he didn’t have that privilege, that chance to go out in the city and be normal, it doesn’t mean that they can’t.

However, Baekhyun isn’t going to let them off that easy. He may have decided not to confront Mark or Ange with a phone call, but h