Warning(s): cursing
Length: 7.2k words

“I’m sorry.”

Ange turns her attention away from the cityscape and onto Baekhyun. Upon looking at him and inspecting his face for any clear signs of distress, she’s surprised to find that his cheeks are tinted pink, as if flustered. There aren’t many cars around theirs, and he’s stopped at the red light—so what’s wrong?

“Sorry for what?” Ange queries.

“I’m just…” Baekhyun visibly swallows, causing Ange to giggle because it’s a telltale sign that he’s nervous. Over her? “I told you I haven’t this done in a while, right?” Baekhyun murmurs.

“Oh, you mean go on a date?” Ange teases. At the word date, Baekhyun fidgets in his seat and wrinkles his nose. Although he doesn’t say anything in response, Ange already knows the answer because he told her a while ago. “It’s okay,” she reassures him. “We’re just getting dinner at that place you told me about, and then you said you’ll take me on a drive.”

“Yeah, but I feel like I should be trying to impress you, Angel.”

Ange grins and stifles back a laugh. It’s endearing for her to know that Baekhyun wants to impress her somehow since it’s completely unnecessary given that he’s the best street racer in the city. Despite that, however, he’s still trying, and frankly, it’s adorable; it’s sweet. While they’re going on a considerably simple “date” that includes no formal clothing, he still took the time to change out of his usual mechanic outfit and into a blazer that she has never seen him wear. His hair is neatly styled but not in the cocky way he saves for his races, and he’s not wearing all-black for a change; he’s wearing bits of yellow on his shirt—coincidentally matching her yellow turtleneck.

“You’ve already impressed me a lot,” Ange assures Baekhyun. “Besides, we both agreed that we’re not going to do anything fancy or out there. I like this.”

Her words seem to do the trick because Baekhyun relaxes his tense shoulders, and the rest of the drive is relatively quiet as Ange looks out the window and at the new buildings that she hasn’t seen yet. When she and Mark hung out, he usually took her to the “good” parts of the city where people always gathered at night. While it wasn’t bad or anything, Ange yearned for variety—which is what Baekhyun is giving her tonight. He drives her over a bridge that she’s never crossed before and takes her to a small restaurant sandwiched in between a convenience store and a karaoke hall.

In a sense, it’s funny to Ange that she’s in this position with Baekhyun now. She thinks about Mark and how he took her everywhere he could—to grasp her attention, Ange assumes—and compares him to Baekhyun, who can only take her to simple, semi-public areas to keep her safe. What’s funny is that Mark was always trying so hard, but Baekhyun just has to drive, and he has her in his palm.

“I used to go here a lot when I was younger,” Baekhyun tells Ange as he parks his car across the street. “I was good friends with the owner until he died.”

Hadongkwan, the sign on the restaurant says in bright red letters. Ange makes sure to take a mental note of it because it’s one of the few personal things that Baekhyun has told her about himself.

He used to go to Hadongkwan when he was younger.

While Baekhyun does open and close the car’s door for Ange, he immediately shoves his hands back into his pockets before she can ask to hold onto one of them. They cross the street in silence with Ange’s heart racing in anticipation for whatever is to come. The thing with Baekhyun is that he’s so closed off that she has no idea how he’ll act or what he’ll say in a normal situation—let alone on a date.

Indeed, their first date goes…differently than what Ange expected.

First, Baekhyun eats too quickly. Ange at least expects him to slow down so that they can talk, so that he can tell her all about his childhood in Daegu or wherever he was born, but all too often as she’s asking him a question, he’s filling his mouth with the soup he ordered. At first, Ange dismisses it as genuine hunger—until Baekhyun starts hiccupping from eating too quickly. The entire time that Ange is trying to talk about her childhood with Kyungsoo in Seoul, Baekhyun is sitting there and trying to hold his breath—only to fail and let out a soft HICC.

Secondly, Ange shakes her leg too much under the table. She accidentally kicks Baekhyun’s shin at least four times. She would have kicked him at least five times, but then she starts kicking the leg of his chair instead. When she steals a quick peek as to why she has started to kick his chair instead, she realizes that he has spread his legs apart so that she stops hitting him by accident. It leaves Ange so flustered knowing that she has annoyed Baekhyun that she excuses herself to go to the bathroom where she stares at her reflection in the mirror and cringes.

Lastly, when they’re back in Baekhyun’s Jaguar, they both stay quiet, with Ange keeping her head low while Baekhyun starts the car. As if things can’t get any worse, the moment grows even more awkward, shattering Ange’s expectations of a perfect first date entirely.

God, I would like to pass away now… Ange thinks to herself.

“I told you,” Baekhyun murmurs under his breath as he begins driving out of the complex. “I-I haven’t done this in a while.”

“Why do you keep saying that?” Ange takes a breath and shakes her head. “I kicked you under the table so many times. I should be apologizing.”

“Well, I should have done better,” Baekhyun continues to mutter in frustration. “I made things awkward, didn’t I? I’m so ing stupid. I should have pulled a Mark and took you out to that retro arcade—”

“Pull a Mark?” Ange asks as she frowns. “No, don’t pull a Mark or whatever that means. I liked this. It’s you.”

“And I’m boring. The most interesting thing about me isn’t even me. It’s my alter-ego, Lux.”

Ange looks over at Baekhyun and his clenched jaw. His eyes are dead set on the road before them, and he has a lazy hand wrapped around the top of the steering wheel. It’s not hard to tell that he’s angry at himself. While Ange doesn’t know if Baekhyun’s statement about himself holds any veracity, she hates to see him feel inadequate when he’s really more than enough for her. Despite the fact that he’s almost always unbreachable in terms of sharing his feelings, he’s a good listener, and Ange knows that for a fact.

“Baekhyun?” Ange whispers his name softly when they’re at a red light. He looks over at her, and she gives him a small smile as a sign of assurance. “You’re not boring, trust me,” she promises. “You’re just quiet.”

The light turns green, but Baekhyun holds his gaze on hers for a few seconds before allowing the car to move forward.

“If I’m being honest,” Baekhyun murmurs, for once starting the conversation, “I’ve never actually been on a date as myself.”

“As yourself? What do you mean?”

“I mean… This is the first time,” Baekhyun pronounces each word carefully, “that I’m going on a date as myself—and not the other guy.” Ange watches Baekhyun’s rapid blinking, as if he’s ashamed to say all of this. “I haven’t been this honest since forever.”

“Why is that?” Ange questions.

Baekhyun shakes his head. “When you’re me, you don’t want anyone to get too close.” He glances towards Ange for a second. “And there aren’t many people that are worth the struggle.”

“Until me?”

“Until you.”

Ange purses her lips to suppress her pride. “So you’re always undercover,” she assumes, “as Lux.”

“Always,” Baekhyun confirms with a nod. They’ve reached the city’s limits, so he presses harder on the gas pedal, allowing his car to zoom forward. “The only ‘dates’ I’ve been on are just to convince rich people to bet on me for the street races every month.”

“You mean rich women.” Ange raises her brows, expecting Baekhyun to answer, but he doesn’t, so she turns to him with a grin. “Gosh, Baekhyun,” she teases. “Why do you get so shy about this stuff?” He keeps his eyes on the road in a silent refusal to respond to her, causing her to giggle. “You’re so cool and smooth when you’re Lux, but as yourself, you’re so…” Ange’s smile grows broader when she struggles to place Baekhyun’s introverted qualities into one word. “Cute,” she finishes.

“Sometimes I wonder why I even speak,” Baekhyun mumbles, finally breaking his silence.

“Come on,” Ange whines playfully. “It is cute. This is the most honest you’ve been with me. I like it. Not many people get to see this side of you, right?”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun begins the ascent up the same mountain he took her on that one snowy day. It’s lot different being here now; not only has the snow thawed, but in a way, so has parts of Baekhyun, and it’s evident in his change of demeanor. “Not many people know that I’ve never had a girlfriend,” he says, surprising Ange. “Mark thinks I keep a list, but there is no list, and if there was, it’d be empty.”

“Really? Not even one?”

Baekhyun shakes his head, and Ange somehow feels guilty.

“What about you?” Baekhyun asks, slowing the car when he makes a turn on a tight corner. “I mean, besides Mark, how many do I need to one-up?”

One-up? Ange stifles back a laugh. It’s a slang term for do better, hinting that Baekhyun is just as curious about her past relationships like she is with his. “They’re all just people from my old high school,” she says to assure him. “You don’t need to worry about any of them. They’re probably working some boring office job while you’re the coolest street racer that I know.”

A few minutes pass, and they arrive at the summit of the mountain but in an area different from where Baekhyun first took her. Unlike the off-road clearing from before, they seem to be in area especially made for stopping and enjoying the view. Although it’s completely dark except for the light of the moon and the car’s headlights, Ange can make out some of the placed structures. There are tables placed under trees, parking lines, and a safety just before the ground makes a downwards slope.  Baekhyun parks his car right in front of the rail and then shuts off the engine, engulfing both Ange and him in darkness. Eager for a better view of the city, Ange quickly unbuckles her seatbelt and exits the car before Baekhyun can.

“Wow,” Ange instinctively gasps when she sees the city lights for what feels like the first time. It’s much different to see them while standing in complete darkness from miles away. In a way, it makes Ange feel smaller than ever. “Baekhyun, it’s so pretty.”

“I know,” he replies almost proudly. “Come on. Let’s sit.”

The wind is blowing from Ange’s right, so she sits to Baekhyun’s left on the hood of his car. They sit side by side in silence for a minute, but there is nothing awkward in this moment. Baekhyun’s arm touches Ange’s, comforting her even as the cool wind causes her to shiver. It’s so dark that even the silken light of the crescent moon offers no refuge from the black of the night that drowns her, devours her entirely. Ange feels swallowed up by the world, sending her careening into philosophical thoughts of existence and placement. Usually, thinking about her role in the universe makes her feel alone, but she doesn’t quite feel so lonely when Baekhyun is sitting right next to her.

“Why is the city only pretty from faraway?” Ange thinks out loud. “It looks so peaceful.”

“If you think it looks peaceful, you should look up.”

Ange lifts her chin and with her eyes wide open, looks into the deep blue color of the sky and at its freckles of stars. “Wow,” she gasps again. Although she has frequently stared at the sky from the window in her bedroom, they’re much brighter from the mountains. “I feel like I could get dizzy looking at all of them,” Ange murmurs, leaning back to prevent herself from straining her neck.

“I go up here to calm myself down a lot,” Baekhyun says. He also lays on his back to watch the stars with her. “I think getting in touch with nature is the best way to get over being upset.”

“I wish I could see this from my room.”

“Me too.”

The two of them are quiet for a while until the wind picks up. Ange looks over at Baekhyun to see how he fares with the cold, but of course, he’s blank-faced as always. Even in the darkness, Ange can see that he’s completely relaxed while she’s rubbing her hands together for warmth.

“Baekhyun, move your arm,” Ange requests softly.

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

Ange thinks he’ll refuse at the strange request, but fortunately, he lifts his left arm, and she takes it as an opening. Without a word but only a shy smile, she moves closer to him and lays her head on his shoulder. Of course, Baekhyun immediately stiffens at the contact, and Ange swears he starts holding his breath when she turns slightly to press her cheek against his chest. From that angle, she can feel his heartbeat and hear it race.

“Why’re you so nervous?” Ange murmurs. “It’s okay.”

“No, you don’t get it. I just…” Baekhyun carefully places his hand on her waist, making her smile in the reciprocity of own actions. “I didn’t expect you to do that.”

“Should I have asked first?”

“No, no, it’s fine. I was getting cold anyways.”

They stay like that for a long time—so long that Ange worries that Baekhyun is just trying to be nice by not moving, but when she looks at his face, she’s surprised to see that he has closed his eyes. His breathing is rhythmic and soft, and when she places her head back down against his chest, she finds that his heart is no longer racing. The sweetness of the moment is so tender that it’s physically hard to pull away and face reality, but it must be done at some point.

Baekhyun drives a sleepy Ange home, and she stumbles into her bed wishing that he could be there with her.

- - - - -

 “Angel, give me my keys back.”

“Let me drive your car first.”

“I’m not gonna let you drive my Supra of all cars.”

Ange still pouts despite knowing that it’s a lost cause because it’s a Monday afternoon, and she’d rather play around with Baekhyun than go back to fixing the brake lines of a customer’s car. Only a table keeps him from reaching forward and grabbing his keys, and she mirrors his movements so that they’re circling each other.

“I’ll let you drive my Range Rover,” Baekhyun reasons, the corners of his lips tilting upward. “It has cruise control.”

“I don’t want ‘cruise control’ or whatever that is, though.”

“I’ll give you a ride in the Supra then.” Baekhyun places his hands on the corners of the wheeled table. “Come on, Angel. You know how fast I can drive that thing.”

“But I want to drive it,” Ange whines. She blows loose hair away from her face to show exasperation at Baekhyun’s compromise efforts, but all he does is roll his eyes. “Baek, pleaseeee,” Ange continues begging. “You’ve only let me drive that Nissan and your Audi.” Although Ange only found out the existence of Baekhyun’s Audi RS7 today when he used it to teach her the basics of turn signals, she still wants to take full advantage of the soft spot that she knows Baekhyun has for her. “Pretty please?” she asks.

“I don’t even let Mark touch my Audi. You should be grateful that you even got to drive it.” Baekhyun, without a warning, pushes the table, and it rolls off to the side, giving him a direct path to her. “Now give the keys back.”

Before Baekhyun can reach out and reclaim his keys, Ange steps back and places her hands behind her back.

“Come and get it,” Ange whispers teasingly before bursting into a fit of giggles. She turns and makes a run for the door, and Baekhyun shares her same enthusiasm because he chases after her without hesitation.

Ange heads towards the direction of the mountains and takes a route beside the road where there’s grass. She twirls around a few times to catch glimpses of Baekhyun just mere steps away from her and giggles when she sees that he’s enjoying himself as much as she is. His laugh is beautiful, and the face that he makes when he gets caught in the joyousness of the moment is radiantly gorgeous. For a moment, Ange doesn’t feel like he is who is he; they’re just a random pair of people enjoying each other’s company.

Unable to keep herself from laughing, Ange loses her balance in the struggle and falls backward into the tall grass. Baekhyun reaches out to grab her before she falls completely, but he only succeeds in all