Requested by: infinexx

Title: Words Unsaid

Main Characters: Kim Wonsik/Ravi (Vixx), Han Sanghyuk/Hyuk (Vixx)

Pairing: Ravi x Hyuk

Genre: romance

Plot: Same as here. ** I'd like to change the ship to Vixx' s Ravi and Hyuk. Except Ravi is older and I want him to be in B.M's place and Hyuk in J.seph's. And Jaehwan or Hongbin can have Somin's part if she's mentioned. Thank you!

Keywords: red, sadness, dark, idk...

Additional Requests: Same as here.

A woman could be seen gazing sorrowfully at her son. 

Eyes glassy with tears, she bent down and kissed the little boy’s forehead. Her son was sleeping soundly, all wrapped up in his favorite blue blanket. Her heart ached at the thought of leaving him but she had to. She had to. She had to pursue her own happiness for once. She had to be selfish for once. 

For once, she chose to follow her heart. 

She chose to be with the man she truly loved. She chose to abandon the past. Her past. She chose to move on. She chose to let go. She chose to live. To truly live. And if moving on meant she had to leave her son behind so be it. 

See, she got married at an early age. Despite her parents strong disapproval she married the man she supposedly loved. The man who freed her from the invisible shackles her parents imprisoned her in. All her life, she had to act and present herself in a certain way. She had to do whatever her parents wanted. She was a mere puppet, their puppet. Her opinions didn’t matter. They never did. But then came Woobin. He brought a splash of color to her once dull life. He was strongly-opinionated, rebellious…Simply overwhelming. Everything her parents hated. And everything she longed to be. She fell for him. Hard. But she was too young back then, a mere nineteen year old girl, a girl who barely knew anything about love, a girl who wanted nothing more than to rebel against her parents, a girl who wanted nothing more than to leave her parents nest, to free herself from them and to live, to properly live. 

Her life with Woobin wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. They fought, every single day. They fought for ridiculous reasons. I suppose that’s what you get for getting into a relationship, let alone marriage with someone you barely even knew. But then came Sanghyuk and his arrival brought so much happiness to the couple. A happiness that was shortly lived. Shinhye loved her son. She loved him to the moon and back (as did Woobin) but she could no longer live with a man she had no feelings for, not when her heart belonged to someone else. She couldn’t lie to Woobin anymore. She couldn’t go behind his back anymore. She couldn’t live this life anymore. So she chose to leave. She chose to leave everything behind and start anew. 

The brunette tenderly brushed her son’s bangs out of his eyes, engraving his image in her mind, “I’m sorry”

She kissed him again, her lips lingering on his forehead, “I love you. Always remember that”

But I can no longer pretend,

I can no longer live a lie,

I can no longer be with your father, a man I have little to no feelings for, 

I can no longer be a prisoner of this household,

I can’t,

Not anymore, 

(Not anymore)

The woman stood up and walked towards the door. 

She casted one last look at Sanghyuk’s sleeping figure and smiled, a tear fell down her cheek, “Goodbye”

Goodbye my love,

I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me one day,

And if you don’t I’ll understand completely,

After all, if I were in your shoes I wouldn’t forgive me as well.

A five year old Sanghyuk rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he descended the stairs. His eyes scanned the living room in search of his mother who would be usually sitting on the couch drinking a cup of tea while his father read the newspaper. His eyebrows furrowed at their absence. His tiny feet lead him to the kitchen where he found his father sitting in the dark with his head in his hands. 

The young boy blinked and slowly approached his father’s figure, “Dad are you okay?”

He frowned at the sight of his father’s tear-stained face.

The said man looked up and locked eyes with a rather curious pair. 

Forcing a smile, he affectionately ruffled his son’s hair, “I’m fine”

Sanghyuk didn’t believe him in the least, “Where’s mom?”

His father sighed, “She left”

The young boy titled his head to the side, “To buy some groceries?”

The man shook his head.

Sanghyuk pursed his lips, “To see her friends?”

Another head shake.

The boy gulped, fear gnawing away at his insides, “But she’s coming back, right?”

Silence followed.

“Right?”

His father kneeled in front of him and gathered him in his arms, “No. No, she’s not”

His son froze in his hold, “What?”

Why?

He felt his heart breaking. The pain was immense. Tears streamed down his face, “But she promised. She promised she’d never leave me. She promised!”

She promised.

Doesn’t she love me anymore?

Doesn’t she?

Mr. Han tightened his hold on his son’s tiny frame, “Your mother loves you. She loves you. Always remember that”

If she did, she wouldn’t leave me,

She wouldn’t,

If she cared about me,

She wouldn’t walk away,

She wouldn’t leave me behind,

She wouldn’t.

“Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong?”

His father frowned, “Absolutely not. You did nothing wrong. None of this is your fault you hear me. None of it is”

Sanghyuk sniffled, “Then why did she leave? Why? Why?!”

Mr. Han sat on his knees, rocking his son back and forth. He let him cry out his anguish as he whispered softly to him, “It’s okay, son. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be alright. I’m here. Daddy’s here. I’ve got you. I’ve got you. Daddy will never leave you. Ever”

That godforsaken day marked the last day Sanghyuk ever cried.

That day marked the day he had locked down his heart, for good.

“I don’t love you. I never did”

He lay in bed, wide awake, brown orbs glued to the ceiling. His ex-boyfriend’s words kept on replaying in his mind like a broken record. A record he could never get rid of. Ever. Those words, those hurtful words were like a knife that cut through his heart, leaving it a bleeding mess. 

A tear fell down his cheek as more soon followed. 

He was pathetic, wasn’t he? Still hung up on a guy who barely cared for him, who barely gave him the time of day. A guy, he gave his all to. His heart. Mind. And soul. A guy, he loved (and still loves) with all of his being, with all of his might. A guy, who ruthlessly threw him aside, who toyed with his feelings, who harshly stepped on his heart and left it battered and bruised on the cold hard ground. A guy, who meant the world to him, while he, meant nothing, nothing at all. He held no significance in his ex-lover’s eyes. He was no one. He was nothing. Just a good lay perhaps, nothing more and nothing less.

A few years have passed since their ugly breakup, four years of heartache and sorrow, of tears and sleepless nights. Their breakup was the same as any normal breakup. His ex-boyfriend took what was his and he kept what he had from before they were together. His ex took his heart and he had nothing. Nothing at all. 

Wonshik sniffled and wiped away his tears.

Today was a Saturday. An off day. No work was in sight. No distraction was present. The wheels in his head kept on turning and turning. His mind just wouldn’t shut down. It wouldn’t. (It couldn’t)

During the week he’d immerse himself with work to keep his thoughts at bay, to prevent them from running wild. Work kept him busy. It kept him distracted. It kept him sane. It prevented him from thinking, from feeling, from remembering anything, anything related to that devilish man. (Anything at all)

But now, as he lay in bed in the dark, eyes red and swollen, it becomes apparent how attached he still is, how vulnerable he truly is, how broken he really is. 

Why was he still hung up on that man he had no idea. How could that man have this effect on him? How? Wonshik was anything but weak. Yet, here he was now, unable to move on from a failed romance, unable to let go, unable to love again. He was still stuck in the past. He was still haunted by his ex-lover’s image, by his smile, his laugh, his scent, his all. He was still taken by him. His heart would always belong to him and him only. 

I loved you more than I loved myself and I think that’s why I let you destroy me. I gave you everything I could give you and that never seemed to be enough. It never did. 

He knew he was being pitiful, pathetic even, how could he still have feelings for a man who only brought him pain and despair? Though he couldn’t deny the good times he spent with him, the happiness he gave him, the care he showered him with. It might have all been fake. It might have all been a lie but Wonshik wanted, no, Wonshik chose to believe otherwise. He didn’t want their good memories to go down the drain. He didn’t want them to be tainted. He didn’t want to lose them. He did not want to. 

It would be a lie to say that he didn’t try dating other men. He did. But he couldn’t stand being with them for more than a week. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He couldn’t open up to them. He couldn’t reciprocate their feelings. He couldn’t give them his heart because it already belonged to someone else, it was already in somebody else’s possession, somebody he tried so hard to forget but to no avail. 

His life consisted of work and work only. He did not want to engage in any type of relationship whatsoever. He had had enough. He’s had enough heartbreak to last him a lifetime. 

Throughout the years he had managed to make a name for himself. He became one of South Korea’s top lawyers. He had won numerous cases, was highly praised and admired by the mass and was earning a hefty sum in return. He had everything in the palm of his hands. Everything. Yet, he still felt empty on the inside. His heart’s been empty ever since his ex-boyfriend left but still he refuses to put up a vacancy sign. He’s just not ready for anybody else to move in yet (or ever). For fear of getting hurt perhaps, of getting attached and disappointed all over again. He couldn’t bear another heartache, he just couldn’t.

This fear and the love he still has for that man kept him from living, from truly living. 

It kept him from moving on and starting anew.

It kept him a prisoner of his own past.

Suddenly his bedroom door opened revealing a frowning Jaehwan, “Are you really going to stay cooped up in your room all day?”

Wonshik rolled his eyes, he should have never given him a spare key, “What do you expect me to do then?”

His best friend sighed, “I don’t know go out, have fun, meet new people”

I’m good, thanks.

“I’ve had a hectic week, don’t I at least deserve a break?”

The brunette pursed his lips as he walked over and sat next to him on the bed. Jaehwan intently studied Wonshik’s features, noting the huge eye bags his best-friend sported, the redness of his eyes, his pale complexion, “You look awful”

The latter scoffed, “Gee, thanks”

Jaehwan looked into his eyes and saw the sadness that lurked there. The sadness he tried so hard to mask with his everyday smile and cheerful attitude. But the brunette could clearly tell how fake his smile was since it never quite reached his eyes, it never did. 

It never did.