13^th December 2019

-Or the day after everything fell back into place again

Bliss. That’s all Yae Na felt when she woke up the next morning, reclining in bed as the sun greeted her with warm, white light. The curtain was barely open, her covers still warm. She reached out a hand across her bed, feeling, feeling something, reaching out to someone, then she stopped. Yae Na opened her eyes and abruptly sat up, her heart beating so hard. There was no Sung Gyu beside her, Sung Gyu that she had gone to sleep with even into the dawn of the day, him holding her warmly in his arms. That side of her bed wasn’t even crumpled, pillows and sheets all in place. She noticed her extended arm then, which should be bandaged and should have been bare, just as the rest of herself should be. But she wasn’t. She was still in her pajamas, her arm all and well. In a distance, yet so loud, she could hear the endless barks of her dogs.

Hurriedly, cursing in her mind, Yae Na reached for her phone again. A single text from Sung Gyu remained in her notifications, and when she looked at the date again-,

“Ah ”

12^th December 2019

-Or the day that Kim Yae Na decided not to give a ...or alternatively, give a lot of s

Yae Na was on the verge of insanity. Any moment now, she would run out of her mind. The time loop had continued, regardless of everything she’d done. It had continued, regardless of her doing all the right things. She didn’t know what caused this crazy warped up time or what else she could possibly do to stop it now. If it was going to go on forever, if she was going to do the same things again and again, saving his life or breaking up or fighting or whatever again and again, what’s even the point of trying?

So Yae Na, this time around, decided not to give a . She would mess up the timeline completely, she would do whatever she pleased. And at the end of the day, she would put herself out there in place of Sung Gyu. If there was one way to stop this damned curse, it had to be by taking the curse with her, wouldn’t it?

“ it” She growled to herself, hopped off her bed and stomped her way to the kitchen. The damned cat was on top of her kitchen counter, bearing its dirty sharp teeth. Her dogs went on barking like they were wounded up bears. Yae Na pushed them away from the counter, not too harsh but strongly enough to pull them away and approached the nasty cat. Then without a second thought she reached out to grab it by its nasty little paws.

“Come on you ing little monster” She cursed under her breath. “Hurt me all you want”

And it did, as if it understood what she said. The cat launched at her, and instead of that one large cut down her wrist, the cat grabbed her with both its paws, battling her off like the little monster it was. The pain shot right through her as its claws sunk deep into her skin before her natural instincts kicked in. With her other hand she grabbed it by its darkened dirty fur and pulled it off herself before it, as always, slid out of the open window.

The cat had destroyed her. She didn’t realise it before, but now as she stared at her hand, her skin ripped in so many places, she couldn’t believe she had done that to herself. But that was fine. If this is going to happen every passing day of her life, she might as well go all the way. The cuts were deeper, blood dripping down her pale skin, staining her sleeve and the linoleum floor. Her arm was shaking, her whole body was shaking. She slid down to the ground, her back to the cupboards as her dogs huddled around her. The world was a complete mess now, and she didn’t want to be here anymore. In the background, her phone started to ring, and Yae Na, for the first time in her life, started to despise Lisa and her calls. She stared at her bloody hand, the angry cuts, the blood dripping and painting her skin. Then she threw her head back and mustered out the loudest, most frustrated scream that she could.

“Oh, Yae Na, this is very, very bad” Lisa told her, her voice coated with concern as she examined the wound that Yae Na had haphazardly wrapped up with a scarf. The bleeding had stopped by then, but it hurt so much that she’d begun to feel numb on her whole arm. She’d initially thought not to have it treated at all because, what was the point? Then the pain only became unbearable and she realized, whatever the case was, she still had to live through the day. And so, Yae Na came to school again, dressed completely in black as if to wave flags to god that she’d surrendered, and came to Lisa who reacted none too nicely.

She laid her hand back in her lap. “Now, I can disinfect it and perhaps put antibiotics on it, but you really need to see a doctor because this is really, really bad”

In all honesty, she did not want to go to the ER again, her last experience being all too traumatic for her. The bandages that Lisa would put had to do.

Lisa went onto to fetch her first aid kit, pulled out freshly sterilized cotton and tools and came back to her. “I don’t know what you did with that cat that it did this to you, but if you don’t get the anti-rabies shots, you’re going to be in big trouble”

“I will” Yae Na sighed because she had no energy to say anything else. She watched her as she gently worked on her skin, disinfecting each and every big and little slit as the pain coursed right through her nerves. It was ten times worse than the previous three times she’d gone through it, that she had to grip her fist to hold back the pain.

“And honestly, Yae Na” Lisa continued, now moving onto to apply the ointment. “I don’t know if its just me but…” Lisa took a moment of hesitation and carried on quite uncertainly. “You seem a little off, quite dull in fact. Are you okay?”

If she was okay was an understatement. If it was another time, the question itself would have driven her to the brink of tears, that’s how stressed that she was. But for some reason, days of being beaten and pushed and pulled around by this sick, twisted warp of time, Yae Na had become immune to that kind of pain.

“I’m fine” She replied, quite dully and rested her head on her good hand.

“Are you sure?” Lisa pushed on.

Yae Na stayed quiet, staring ahead as Lisa picked up the plaster bandaging next, and started dressing the wound.

“Lisa” Yae Na called her friend a few minutes later. It’s been working in her mind for a while now, for the last few hours. “If...if this was your last day on earth, what would you do?”

As things were going for her right now, Yae Na couldn’t help thinking that 12^th of December of the year 2019 could possibly be her last day on earth, although she lived it again and again and again.

“Last day on earth?” Lisa reiterated as she paused, whatever she was doing. The look in her eyes of was concern. “I don’t know why you’re asking me this”

“Just curious” Yae Na shrugged.

“Well” She really seemed to give it a lot of thought. “I would perhaps do whatever I like to do. You know, eat my favorite food, go to nice places, meet my loved ones and all of that stuff”

“Hm” Yae Na nodded and said nothing more. Funny how, on her last day on earth she had to think of all the possible ways of keeping her marriage falling apart and keeping her loved one from dying again and again and again.

“What made you think about it?” Lisa pushed on. There was a moment of silence as she finished wrapping the plaster bandage around her arm, putting the finishing touches. Then Lisa gazed at her cautiously, searching in her eyes, perhaps, for any sign of concern that could raise red flags.

“It’s-it’s worrying me, Yae Na. I’m beginning to wonder if...if this was even really a cat who did this” She finally put that emotion in her eyes into words. Yae Na kind of knew this would happen, that her wound and words and simply her demeanor would lead to that conversation. Quite frankly, however, Yae Na was not willing to stay back and have that conversation. She was tired, tired of living, tired of doing the same things over and over again. She was tired.

“It was a cat” Yae Na reassured her, making her tone as convincing as she could. “an ugly, nasty cat” She climbed up on her feet, then, and reached for her coat. “Well, I guess I’ll get going, I have a class to go to”

“Okay” Lisa, if anything, looked taken aback by her blunt response. But just about when Yae Na was to leave the nurse’s office, Lisa called her back.

“Wait, hold on”

Yae Na waited patiently, watching her as Lisa scrambled her way to the medicine cabinet, and just as she’d seen her doing so many times before, she took two white pills, painkillers, Yae Na knew, and handed it over to her together with a paper cup of water.

“I would suggest anti-stress medication, but I’m not a therapist” Lisa told her, her voice quiet, still concerned. “But you can do with Paracetamol, if it helps”

Yae Na didn’t stay to teach the class after all. She’d lived this day before, and so the kids wouldn’t miss anything, although it was on a different timeline. She didn’t even bother with informing the school administration because it wouldn’t really matter if she was going to be at work and had been at work on the 12^th of December so many times. Instead, she drove out into the city in the calm of the morning, driving endlessly through serpentine roads, no purpose or destination in mind. It would probably be her last day on earth, and even if it wasn’t, Yae Na would make it so. This curse had to end, she couldn’t possibly take it any longer. Dying, if that comes down to it, was better than losing Sung Gyu again, a third and a fourth time. She’d had enough.

By lunch time, Yae Na went and had her favorite Tteokbokki near Yongsan station. The food carts that’s been there for years had to be one of her favorite places in the entirety of Yongsan city. She’d lived there her whole life, coming out of the orphanage and foster care, living on her own. The food carts held so many of her fond memories, from college days, with her friends from school. It was from school that she knew Howon. Although he was originally from Busan, he’d moved in to Yongsan when his parents divorced and he moved with his mother. He was this quiet, aloof boy that hardly made friends with anyone, and she was the scared little orphan for whom social interactions were just terrifying. They made quick friends easily, the kind that could share a meal together without having to say many things. She wouldn’t say that they were best friends. They were never that intimate as friends to begin with. They were always the kind to keep people in a comfortable distance. However, it was with Howon and their circle of friends that she had so many good memories here. How they’d come after school on cold winter days to have spicy hot Tteokbokki until their lips burnt and eyes filled with tears. Even on that endless afternoon of her possibly last 12^th of December 2019, Yae Na order the spiciest possible dish of her favorite Tteokbokki, sat alone in the hut on the furthest corner and watching the blurry images of the passing people through the plastic look out of the tent.

Later on, she drove around the city and came to a stop at the Yongsan park. It was a place that she and Sung Gyu had frequently visited, especially during the spring and summer on their quiet picnics, to sit under the cherry blossom trees and recline in the comfort of each other’s presence as cherry blossoms danced in the wind. In the winter, however, it was dull and cold, trees devoid of leaves, the ground dried with wilted brown grass and trees. It was dark and monotonous, just like her heart was at that time as she slowly crossed the park on her own, breathing in the earthy scent of drying leaves. She couldn’t stay there much longer, as all her fond memories from hers and Sung Gyu’s time together was floating in her mind, giving her no peace. She realized, unlike Lisa put into words so simply, doing things that she loved on her last day on earth gave more pain than pleasure. She decided to go to Sung Jong’s and get her hair done instead.

The hair appointment went just as how it had gone the past few timelines, but only, this time when Sung Jong decided to straighten it with lose bangs, Yae Na interjected. It was her last day on earth and for once, she wanted something more...herself. Sung Jong was perplexed when she told him what she desired. “But you’re getting married” He told her, sounding baffled. “Shouldn’t it be something...brighter?”

Yae Na merely shook her head. She knew that Sung Jong wouldn’t question any further but simply comply, which was a convenience. He started out a little uncertainly, perhaps checking if she was about to change her mind. But when her decision didn’t budge, he started to pick up the pace as usual, snipping at her hair as it pooled by his feet in large chunks. While he was at it, Yae Na picked up her phone and looked at Sung Gyu’s message one last time. The wedding and dresses and flowers, all of that just felt million years away, as if they were all things that happened to another person, a person that she’d barely known. It was no longer her life now, for, within a day, everything had changed. The wedding wouldn’t happen, the marriage wouldn’t last after all; it wouldn’t even start. With a deep breath, she turned her phone off and closed her eyes. It was time to put away that life now, for it was no longer hers.

“Sung Jong-Ssi” Yae Na asked then, because it was probably her last day here, last time of seeing him, so she might as well speak to him as she wished.

“Noona?” He asked in response.

“If you could live the same day forever, what day would it be?”

“That’s a strange question, but-,” He gave it a thoughtful hum. “Probably the day I die” He replied. “If you live that day forever, one by one, you can do things that you really wanted to do and die at the end of the day, and you wouldn’t really, because the next would be the same. So you’re actually cheating death, don’t you think?”

“That’s a different way of thinking about it” Yae Na replied. Now that he mentioned, in this weird warped timeline, what if it didn’t let her die either? What if it kept her here forever?

“If that was possible, there are so many things I would do” Sung Jong continued, perhaps genuinely interested in the conversation.

“What is the first thing that you’d do?” Yae Na asked him.

“This first thing?” Sung Jong reiterated, mostly from himself. “I’ll probably tell the person I loved that I love them. You know, knowing that you’re dying give you that kind of courage”

“I guess you’re right” Yae Na replied, nodding in agreement. Knowing you’re dying could make you insurmountably courageous; she accepted this at that moment as Sung Jong created a completely different version of her, one that no longer looked like herself.

“I hope this is what you wanted” He commented at the end of it, pushing her hair to the front. She looked different, fierce, bold, unrecognizable. This wasn’t the Kim Yae Na everyone knew and recognised, and that seemed to make a statement. That seemed to say everything that she wanted to define herself as tonight. Kim Yae Na who had pulled herself through for four days and Kim Yae Na who had decided, finally, to give not a single .

“Perfect” Yae Na said appreciatively. “It’s just what I wanted”

Yae Na didn’t go to the florist after that. What was the point anyway? How many times had she ordered flowers now, only to realise that she won’t be needing them anyway? So instead, she returned home again and spent as many as hours with her dogs. She gave them a bath in her tub and gave herself a bath afterwards. As the evening grew closer, she picked out the boldest, darkest outfit that she could find in her closet, blow dried her newly done hair and gave herself a smoky dark make over, bright red lips and eyes that didn’t look like her own anymore. When she stepped out into the night, Yae Na was ready. Ready to end a curse, ready to end a life to save another.

She drove over to Haebangchon that evening, a long quiet drive through dark mountainous roads to reach the small, hidden town at the foot of the mountain. As small as it was, it was equally vibrant. Littered with petite stores and bars and boutiques, mostly owned by foreigners settled in the area, the town seemed to have a life of its own. She hadn’t been here many times before, despite having lived in the neighborhood for so long. In that colorful lively town, Yae Na was able to easily blend in. She was just one of them, just a nightly bar goer, an ordinary street dweller, her odd, dark appearance didn’t stand out as she melted into the surrounding. She walked into a small yet cozy little bar owned by a nice white lady, where she was from, Yae Na was unsure. But she was kind and accommodating as she served her drinks. Yae Na settled down in a table in a corner, looking down at the slopy, low street. Then she her phone, found Sung Gyu’s number and dialed him once.

Yae Na was duly surprised that he picked up upon the first ring which didn’t happen, not once before in the time loop.

“Yae Na” He spoke quietly, his background eerily soundless, as if he was in an empty box. “I’m in the middle of something-,”

“I’m in Haebangchon” Yae Na told him, going straight to the point. “It’s this little bar called the…” She looked at the complementary napkins that she was given “The Paddington. Do you know where it is?”

There was a moment of quietness on his end, during which she assumed was him trying to make sense of everything that he’d heard. “Haebangchon? What the hell are you doing in Haebangchon?”

“I came to see you, of course” Yae Na replied, running her finger along the edge of her glass. Hearing his voice didn’t upset her, tonight, for she had made up her mind and that itself had made her bolder.

“See me?” Sung Gyu echoed incredulously. “Yae Na, what is going on? How did you know I would be here?”

Yae Na frowned and heaved a deep breath. It was going to be quite the conversation, she was sure. “It’s a long story”

“W-what?” He echoed, his voice coated with doubt. But she didn’t let him to speak any longer. “I will tell you” She said, sitting back, crossing her legs. “Once you get here, oppa. It’s a place called The Paddington. It’s easy to find”

With that, she cut off the line and put the phone aside. Sung Gyu and Howon had to be in Haebangchon by now; for what reason or doing what, Yae Na did not know. And knowing Sung Gyu, how worried that he could get, Yae Na was certain he’d find her somehow and give Howon hell until he did. She felt bad, to be putting him through this, to disrupt their work, to make things worse for him. But this had to be done. For him, for them, for herself.

Yae Na wasn’t sure how long she stayed there. An hour? Or two perhaps? She turned her phone off because she was certain he would call her again and ask her to return home or even call her to find her and then send her home. A turned off phone was also a message, she’d learned it the hard way. While she waited, she had about four shots of vodka, something that she usually wouldn’t have. She had a high tolerance, thankfully, that, even after drinking so much she was till pretty sane. She was on her fifth, or perhaps sixth glass whens she saw Sung Gyu’s jeep pulling in, in the street below. She was on the upper flow, and from that window, she could see him climbing out, the deep brown of the top of his head as he hurried his way up the slope. He stopped right in front of the store, narrowed his eyes at the entrance and made his way inside. It took a few minutes for him to walk inside, then there he was, his tall, perpetually handsome features lightening up the dark interior as he looked completely out of place.

He didn’t recognize her at first. Understandable as he was expecting to see a rather feminine, long brown haired girl with starry eyes and pastel shirts. But who sat in her place was a darker version of her that he’d have never imagined. He looked all over the place, his eyes searching. So she climbed up on her feet, approached him, and despite his widened, flabbergasted eyes, Yae Na pulled him closer, cupped his face in her hands and kissed him on his lips.

Sung Gyu was unresponsive, standing completely still as she peppered his lips with sensual little kisses. She’d never be bold in front of other people before. Yae Na was quite shy like that, at least the Yae Na that she’d always been. But this Yae Na was different. It took three times of living the same day to become that. Sung Gyu’s hands pressed onto her shoulders then, and he pulled her away from him. His eyes were so wide and he’d most certainly appalled as if he’d just gotten kissed by a stranger.

“Y-Yae Na? What the hell?”

He was speechless, which made her smile. She had made him speechless quite so many times before, but not like this.

She ran her hand through her cropped jet black hair which, now, barely reached her shoulders. Yae Na had always wanted to do this as a child, in her young and wild phase when death felt like a cooler thing to think about. Looking at Sung Gyu’s reaction, she could tell that he wasn’t very pleased. Not to mention her dark make up and crimson lips, topped off with the dark biker-girl outfit that she wore.

“Don’t you like it?” She asked him, making her voice sound an octave higher. Sung Gyu looked like he was about to lose his mind. He stared at her for a moment, and shook his head. “This can’t be real” He told her, grabbed her hand and dragged her out of the bar.

Evening had already fallen by then, and the streets were slowly accumulating their usual nightly wanderers. In that crowd, Yae Na looked rather ordinary, and quite befitted, really, while Sung Gyu appeared as if he wasn’t where he belonged.

“What on earth has gotten into you, Yae Na, you’re not...you’re not usually like this” He asked her under his breath.

“Like what?” She returned raising her brows.

“Like this!” He hissed back, gesturing at her whole being. “What the hell have you done to yourself?”

Yae Na laughed dismissively. “Don’t worry its just make up”

“And...and your hair?” He muttered, and for a second, she felt really, really bad. Sung Gyu adored her hair. It wasn’t that he didn’t like other non physical aspects of her, but her hair was one of the features that he too, as her husband to be, took a lot of pride in. He would run his hand through it at the odd moments, arrange and rearrange it, tuck in behind her ear and at times, when they were in bed, he would even put it in a neat plait as how he’d learned from his mother. And seeing that she’d taken that away from him...

“I wanted a change” Yae Na sincerely replied.

“But not like...this” Sung Gyu replied, appearing truly hurt. “Yae Na, I don’t mind you trying to embrace a new look but...no, not like this...this is not you”

Yae Na sighed, not wanting to have this conversation any longer. She stepped towards him and took his hand in both of hers. “It’s not why I asked you to come here”

Sung Gyu’s eyes filled with even more concern, as if he couldn’t keep up with more heartbreak for a day.

“Then what for?”

“Come on” She told him and dragged him right back up the way they came.

All the eyes were on them when they entered the bar again, the eyes that probably previously watched him drag her out now watching her drag him in again, perhaps genuinely confused and curious. She, for that one moment, did not look like someone that had anything to do with Sung Gyu let alone his wife-to-be. But none of that really mattered, for Yae Na wasn’t sure, at any rate, if she’d remain to be his wife after tonight.

So she ordered yet another glass of vodka as soon as she sat down which Sung Gyu watched it utter horror.

“Do you want anything?” She asked him casually to which he shook his head. “I’m working”

“Right” Yae Na nodded. The drink arrived, Yae Na crossed her legs and reached for the glass. But before she could make a grab for it, Sung Gyu snatched it from her and drowned it in one go before he closed his eyes.

“I thought you wouldn’t want to drink” Yae Na said and lifted her hand to order another, but Sung Gyu grabbed her hand harshly and pulled it down.

“Stop it, Yae Na, what the hell has gotten into you?”

Yae Na stopped, stared at him for the longest time, and that was when her heart broke. Sung Gyu had no idea, this Sung Gyu that sat right in front of her, worried, confused and perhaps scared, he had no idea, and here she was, doing this to him. He had to know, she confirmed to herself what she had initially planned on doing. He had to know because he deserved to know. Even if he didn’t believe her, he had to know because there was nobody else who cared about her to the extent that he did.

“I have something to tell you” She said. She wasn’t sure how to word it out to him, at least in a way that he’d understood, in a way that he’d believe her words, but she had to try.

“I assumed as much” He replied.

She heaved a deep breath and closed her eyes. “I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t believe it, no matter how much I try. And I won’t blame you because if I were you I wouldn’t believe it either”

“Believe what, Yae Na?” He asked her gently, creases of worry etched on his face.

“And you probably wouldn’t understand it either, how hard it had been-,”

“I probably would, Yae Na, only if you told me-,”

“I’m stuck in a time loop” She simply replied, laid it out there, out in the open, all for his interpretation.

He blinked, confused. “A what?”

“A time loop” Yae Na reiterated patiently.

“But why do you think you’re in a time loop?”

Yae Na pressed a hand to her forehead and dragged it down her face. She’d known this was coming, but-,

“It’s not that I think, oppa, I know that I am. I have woken up to the same day five times now, gotten my hair done five times and gone to the florist nearly five times and-,” She paused and pulled up her sleeve, revealing her bandaged wound which Sung Gyu stared at in utmost horror as his face went pale.

“Yae Na-,”

“This” She continued, gesturing at her arm. “I’ve gotten this nearly as many times the same way-,”

“-How?”

“A cat attacked me” She sighed, pulling her sleeve down again. “It snuck into my kitchen the same way through the same window and attacked my hand the same way for all these days, I’m stuck in time, oppa, I know it’s hard to believe but-,”

“You’re tired” Sung Gyu interjected, meeting her eyes. “And you’re probably stressed out with the wedding and also because I couldn’t see you much for a while-,”

“We’ve had this conversation, oppa” She told him firmly, which made him halt in his words. “We’ve talked about these things twice the same day. Once, I called off the wedding, the other we fought and made out...yet nothing has changed…”

Sung Gyu looked like he’d suddenly been thrown out into a storm. His eyes were wide, and he just seemed lost in this labyrinth, unable to get his thoughts straight, perhaps. Yae Na felt so bad for him, and worried too. While he was trying to catch the murderer, on top of it he had a fiance who was borderline insane.

He ran his hands through his hair and leaned towards her. “Okay…” He swallowed. “Let me get this straight. You’re telling me that you’ve been living the same day for...for…”

“Five times” Yae Na added.

“Five times” He nodded. “Right. So Yae Na, you’re saying you lived the same day five times...but what about me? What about the rest of the world?”

“Every time it’s twelfth December, which is today, yet they’re all different timelines, and based on different choices I make, different things I do, the sequential events would change”

Sung Gyu seemed to mull it over, his eyes set on her. “Different timelines” He reiterated as if it was something completely foreign.

“Different timelines” Yae Na agreed.

“And in these timelines, everyone else are different except for you”

Yae Na Thought about it for a second. “They’re all the same, except that, like its for you, you’re living this day for the first time. So it is for all the you’s in the different timelines. But I’ve been in all the timelines, five times, as this”

Sung Gyu kept staring, his head tilted. It was evident that he was not believing her, it was evident that he couldn’t get his mind around it. And Yae Na didn’t want him to, Sung Gyu really didn’t have to.

“Ah, I need a drink” He said, called the bartender and then looked at her. “Vodka” She naturally replied.

The two glasses arrived, until which they were just quiet, Yae Na wondering what to say, Sung Gyu still stuck in his thoughts. Once they were served, Sung Gyu downed his entire glass of white wine in one go. He couldn’t drink anything stronger, for he had to focus on work and had to drive. But by the looks of it, he needed something stronger to be able to perceive what he was hearing.

In the end, he set his glass aside and turned back to her. “Yae Na, first of all, I love you-,”

“You don’t believe me” Yae Na replied.

“No, I mean...yes” He sighed. “But listen...It could be anything” He gestured with his hands in an attempt to find his words. “It could be stress, or not getting enough sleep, or-or-”

“You think I’m crazy”

“I am not telling you that you are” Sung Gyu replied desperately. “But you come all the way to Haebangchon all of a sudden looking like this and tell me you’ve been, what, time traveling? What and I to make of it, Yae Na?”

“You don’t have to believe me” She went on, trying to keep sane herself. She was exhausted, if she was to be honest. She expected him to react this way, but now that she thought of it, she shouldn’t have told him the first place, knowing how terribly he’d take to it. “It’s just...i am tired, okay? It’s been really exhausting, and I-,” She let out a sigh and met his eyes. “If you had to live the same day again and again, what would it be?”

“I..I don’t know” Sung Gyu shook his head incredulously. “And I probably wouldn’t have to, because it’s not-,”

“What if you had to live the day that I died again and again?”

Sung Gyu fell quiet at that moment, his face appalled, and he pressed his palms against his eyes. “This is just-,”

“That’s what it was for me” She said.

Sung Gyu dropped his hands. “What do you mean?”
 

“You asked me how I knew you’d be here, right?” Yae Na went on, giving him a sad smile. “I asked Howon. That’s how I know. And no, I didn’t ask in this time line, so even if you asked him now, he wouldn’t know. I know all about it too, about doctor Yoon and what he does...about the hijacked red cross lorry, about Fentanyl, about all of that”

When Sung Gyu lifted his head and stared at her, Yae Na realized that he might start believing her now. In their original timeline, Sung Gyu had kept everything from her, everything except for what they called the killer. She didn’t know why he was called that, or how it happened, or what he did in exact detail, everything that he’d kept from her lest he ended up hurting her, everything that he’d kept to himself that ended up hurting him instead.

“It wasn’t you who told me any of that...it was Howon, because I asked him to. And he...he also told me…” Yae Na hesitated for a second, recalling the exact words. “All the victims...how you felt about them...why you took the case...how you thought that they were all someone’s me”

Sung Gyu opened his mouth to respond, but he couldn’t. Then he shook his head. “How…? I-I told Howon not to-,”

“Howon didn’t, at least the Howon in this timeline”

Sung Gyu fell quiet. And Yae Na heaved a great big breath. “Doctor Yoon, he’s probably somewhere in Haebangchon now. You’d be going to the Yongsan station right? And then to the forensics lab-,”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I’ve lived it already”

Sung Gyu pressed his hands on his eyes again and ran his fingers through his hair. “This doesn’t make sense Yae Na, nothing makes sense”

“They’re not supposed to, but listen,” She told him and leaned forward as if the proximity would make him understand her much better.

“Doctor Yoon is probably somewhere in Haebangchon...I don’t know, I’m not certain, but after you leave to the forensics lab this evening to collect autopsy results of the last victim, Doctor Yoon gets away, he drives through Noksapyeong towards Jung-Gu, he will get away”

Sung Gyu allowed a few minutes for all the information to be absorbed to his mind. “And I’m supposed to believe this?” He asked her tiredly in the end.

“You should” Yae Na replied in a stern tone. “And I’m telling you this because...” She took a sharp breath, meeting his eyes. “The last four timelines, I had to go through hell because of this...I had to go through hell because I had to watch you...I had to…” Her her voice was failing her now, chocking on her own words. It was the point where she stopped being bold on her own. The images from that night flashed in her mind yet again, and tears welled in her eyes.

“You had to what?” Sung Gyu pushed on, his voice thick with emotion. Yae Na sobbed as she lifted her head heavenwards, trying to stop her tears.

“Just don’t-don’t go there” She told him in the end, once she found her voice. “I don’t care if you believe me or not, right now. And frankly, it doesn’t matter, just don’t go to Noksapyeong, that’s all”

Sung Gyu face darkened as he watched her, “What happens...in Noksapyeong?” He wanted to know.

“You do something….” She muttered, pressing the back of her hand on her lips. “You do something that you shouldn’t...that cost your life. And twice….twice I had to watch you go...once, right before my eyes”

Sung Gyu fell quiet again, and he was so pale, so lost that Yae Na couldn’t help but reach out and take his hand. He looked up at her, widening his eyes, and his hand naturally wrapped around hers. “How?” He asked her.

“You don’t want to know” Yae Na shook her head.

“I want to, so I can not do that” He reasoned out, his voice quiet, shaking.

Yae Na knew better not to believe him. He probably would do it instead, if he knew what he did, he’d deem it as what he should do to stop the killer from getting away, and Yae Na wouldn’t be able to stop him tonight, Yae Na wouldn’t be able to do what she’d planned to do.

“I can’t” Yae Na replied, vigorously shaking her head. “Just stay away from Noksapyeong, that’s all” With that, she climbed up on her feet.

She wouldn’t spend more time trying to convince him any longer, for it would have no point. How could one ever be convinced of knowing that their girlfriend has been stuck in time? Especially when she looked and appeared to be running through a bad phase in life? And frankly, Sung Gyu didn’t have to believe her. She just needed to get the weight off her heart and just try, try and see if he’d believe her, try and see if her telling him would make him stop tonight. Even if it didn’t work, that didn’t really matter, for Yae Na had already made up her mind.

But when she turned to leave, Sung Gyu grabbed hold of her hand. She stopped and he stood up. “Wait” He said and she turned back to him.

“If...if it’s true” He said, his voice quiet but shaking. “Yae Na, if it’s true and if you’ve really been stuck in time...how do you...make it stop?”

For a second, the flicker in his eyes almost convinced her that he believed her. Yae Na gave him a desperate, sad little smile. “I don’t know” She shook her head as she whispered. “I’ve been trying for four days, but I still don’t know”

“Yae Na…”

She shook her head again as he stepped towards him, closer and closer and closer until he was just a hair-thread of a distance away. His breath, scented of wine, mingled with hers and she placed her fingers on his cheeks, moved closer and kissed him softly, gently on his lips. Sung Gyu took a sharp breath, his own hands lifting towards her and wrapping around her waist. He pulled her closer to him, kissing her back in the same fervor, the same desperation as she did. Her arms wrapped around his neck, her fingers in his hair, and Sung Gyu nearly pulled her off her feet. For that moment, nothing mattered, where they were or what they’ve been doing or how they would appear to people. For that one moment it was only them for each other, lost in their arms, scared and desperate to hold onto that last string of existence, to keep each other from disappearing, from slipping away.

“I love you” Sung Gyu mumbled, against her lips, against her skin, as he continued to kiss her, “I love you…”

“So do I” Yae Na ventured out, closing her eyes as he finally pulled away. She met his eyes as she cupped his face between her hands. “So, so much”