Kaeun's pov

When I say I felt like dying would be an understatement, because I died along with her.

I started to become more anxious. Slowly the coffin descends to the ground as it disappears in my line of sight.

"Dad"

I look beside me and I see Wonyoung, tears staining his face. It breaks my heart, he doesn't deserve this, losing a mother at such a young age. I fear that he will lose himself slowly, but I won't let that happen.

"Hey kiddo, we'll be going home soon okay?"

I hug him, just so that he wouldn't see me cry. I tried to be strong for my kids, but I can't. The pain is too much. I hugged him even tighter showing no sign of letting go.

"It's okay dad you're not alone, so you don't have to be strong all the time"

My daughter Chaeryeong, my second child, my only daughter. Look at her trying to comfort me, even if she is crying as well. I pulled her in so she could join the hug and this time I couldn't hold it anymore. I let all the pain out. I despise myself for being weak. As a father I should be the one comforting them, I should be the one protecting them.

"Let's go home now shall we? Wonyoung please call Chaeyeon for me"

Lee Chaeyeon, my oldest son, Jurina's partner in crime. I regret not being too close with my kids and Chaeyeon was one I neglected the most. Working for NIS was the worst. I barely have time for them, but I always make it count. I can't imagine what Chaeyeon is feeling right now, because our bond is not as strong like what a father and son should be.

The car ride was silent and it was driving me mad, I started gripping the steering wheel tightly. My kids are very bright, but who would be bright in the situation we're in? My heart is shattering Chaeyeon and Wonyoung are looking down they don't even want to look at me. Chaeryeong manages to smile at me but her eyes are filled with sorrow. The car ride wasn't long but with what we are feeling right now, it felt like an eternity.

"C-chaeyeon"

It's been half an hour and Chaeyeon is still staring blankly at the balcony and I couldn't take it, so I had to do something.

"What is it dad?"

My heart sunk, he never talked to me this way. Sure we weren't exactly the closest, but we talk like we are father and son. This Chaeyeon right now is changing and I have to do something.

"You know dad is here right?"

He started breaking down and that's my signal to hug him.

"I miss her too Chaeyeon, I miss her so damn much."

I couldn't help but cry as well, who wouldn't right? Your son crying and the pain of losing your wife. No matter how many times you cry, you can't help but cry again and again.

We stayed like that for a few minutes before eventually breaking apart since awkward silence surrounded us.

"Kids! You all must be tired right? Let's all put you to bed."

No matter what, smiling to my  kids would be the best option, I don't want to drag their spirits down.

"Daddy goodnight!" 

It made me relief that Wonyoung still hugs me like before, it puts my heart at ease. Chaeryeong and Chaeyeon just went in their room, I wouldn't blame them they aren't exactly young teenagers anymore.

After seeing them each enter their rooms I too started going towards where it used to be our bedroom.

"It's more spacious without you here babe"

I sat down on our bed and held the sheets tightly, because it was always her who fixes it. Tears started falling.

"I don't know if I can do this without you Jurina"

The fact that her scent is still here devastates me the most. What if it disappears? I think I'll go crazy.

"Jurina please comeback, I can't do this without you"

I felt someone hugging me from behind, I look behind to see that it was Chaeryeong. She saw me in this state again, I feel so ashamed at myself. I can't stay strong in front of my kids.

"Dad please stop crying"

Seeing Chaeryeong cry because of me, I quickly hugged her. Who knew right? I had it in me all along.

"Daddy's here Chaeryeong ah, I'm sorry"

See the effects of your death Jurina? It's breaking us. I know we can get through, but it's so difficult. 

"It's a long night Chaeryeong ah, shall we sleep together kiddo?"

I showed her my eyesmile to show her it's okay, it's not just our bed.

We hugged each other to sleep and it's the first time I felt calm the whole day. Who knew I just needed to hug my daughter.

"Good night daddy"

Chaeryeong slowly closes her eyes descending herself into slumber. Not long after I felt myself getting sleep as well.

"Sle