[CONTENTID1] 019. [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2] Spring’s Departure [/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

The following two days were less vibrant. Life was slowing down, colors dulled, and silence occupied everything. One would say a dark age dawned over the world, but with every dark age follows a period of sunshine, right?

Somberness filled the quiet atmosphere as Eunseo made her way to the main hall with food in her hands. Baekhyun remained in the room for hours, refusing to get any food or do anything outside of the room. It was understandable, losing the person who was the reason he came here to stay and cared for deeply, you’ve lost all motivation to do anything. However, he was forgetting to take care of himself and his grandmother wouldn’t allow that to happen. 

Removing her shoes before entering, she stepped into the room to see Baekhyun sitting with his back against the wall with one knee up across from Mrs. Byun’s portrait, devastated as he gazed at the picture with grief palpably stricken in his eyes. It would seem impossible to be broken even further but it was and Eunseo choked back her tears before composing herself. 

Hearing her, Baekhyun lazily turned his head to her as he rested his head against the wall. His eyes were puffy and empty from constantly crying. All hints and signs of happiness on his face were gone.

“Hey,” Eunseo managed to say softly before walking closer to him. “I got you something to eat.” She extended the tray of food toward him. 

“I’m not hungry.” Baekhyun muttered as he turned back to his grandmother’s portrait. 

Sitting herself down next to him, Eunseo set the tray of food by her side and glanced at the portrait. 

Mrs. Byun was smiling radiantly in her picture, It would’ve better suited for a family portrait that hung on the walls in her home instead of a funeral service. Memories of the elerdly woman played out in Eunseo’s mind causing her to sniff back incoming tears.

“I know that this is a difficult time for you but If your grandmother was here, she would have smacked you for saying that,” Eunseo said as a way to alleviate the somber atmosphere.

To her satisfaction, the corners of Baekhyun’s lip twitched upwards. “Yeah,” he responded. “She would’ve.”

“Then you should eat,” Eunseo picked up the tray in her hands and offered it to Baekhyun. “You shouldn’t neglect your health.”

Reluctantly, Baekhyun took the tray from her hands and picked up bits of food with the wooden chopsticks on the tray. Silence filled the room as he quietly chewed through his food. It was only a few minutes later, tears brimmed his eyes and soon fell onto the food. At first he wiped them away and continued to eat. Only then, more tears fell and he set the tray aside. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he then buried his head into his knees and sobbed softly.

Automatically, Eunseo placed her hand on his shaking shoulders and soothed them just as tears started to blur her vision as well. Seeing Baekhyun broken from grief struck cords within her that she would say caused unexplainable emotional pain, like all comforts of her life were drained to only be replaced with grief and sorrow.

Baekhyun continued to muffle his sobs with no words being exchanged to each other for a few minutes. A while later, he raised his head and stared at his hands as they rested on his knee caps. His entire face was coated with tears, puffy, and red. He didn’t bother to wipe his dampened face.

“We finally got to see each other after so many years,” Baekhyun said in between sniffles as he continued to look at his hands. He was silent before he broke into tears again, “And now we’re separated again.” 

Knowing that Mrs. Byun was the primary reason why Baekhyun had moved from Seoul to escape the burdens of life, she could imagine the genuine happiness he must’ve felt when they reunited over twenty years later. Ever since late March, he started to live life as he wished. Only, it ended too soon.

“You know,” Eunseo began as she glanced down at her lap. “I believe you guys aren’t completely separated. I’d like to think her spirit is still here, watching over you in some way.”

Baekhyun scoffed at her statement, “That’s not true.” He then leaned his back against the wall as his eyes glanced at Mrs. Byun’s portrait. “She’s gone for good.” 

“Even if it’s not true,” Eunseo responded, “Just thinking that way could make things better. But you know, I won’t force you to do that, you can do whatever you want.”

Baekhyun was silent, taking in her words. As silence formed between them, Eunseo glanced down at her lap. 

“Even if I were to think of it that way, it won’t do much. I’ll just miss her more,” Baekhyun finally said. 

-

Night fell, concluding the dull day. Since Mrs. Byun’s passing, Eunseo insisted on staying over to watch over Baekhyun, who unsurprisingly didn’t want to for numerous days until today. She wondered what he did during those days when he was alone. There was no one to eat and talk with in person, the walls no longer had any livelihood of a grandmother and grandson’s relationship, the place was lifeless.

Spreading out the covers over the floor mattress, Eunseo glanced up and found her eyes roaming around Baekhyun’s room, which she had never been in until now.

His room somewhat matched her expectations of what she thought his room would be. It was neat and organized, every item had a designated place to ensure nothing was out of place. In front of his bedroom window was a desk with piles of papers neatly stacked in the middle which was most likely sheet music. There weren’t too many things hanging on the wall or placed on the shelves; just some trophies, framed pictures of him throughout his life, and some decorative art prints.

Baekhyun stepped into his room after finishing his night routine. His expression was miserable as he closed the door behind him but after seeing Eunseo, a subtle smile appeared on his face. Smiling back, she was glad he could smile during these trying times.

“Sorry if it was last minute,” he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

“No worries,” Eunseo assured. “We live right across from each other, I could come by in under a minute if you need anything. 

Baekhyun sat himself down on the mattress. His tired eyes gazed at her, like he was taking everything in, savoring it. “Thank you.”

Eunseo exhaled through her nostrils with a small smile. “You don’t need to thank me.”

“I should though,” he responded. “I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here the past few days.” He went silent before hesitantly asking, “H-How did you go through this?”

It was the most confusing thing Eunseo had to go through. Grieving wasn’t exactly a path that you could easily navigate through. It was more like a large, messy scribble on a piece of paper. Her emotions were all over the place: happiness, sorrow, anger, confusion, just so much. Though in the end - years after her father’s death - she finally found herself again.

“To be honest, I don’t know,” Eunseo shrugged. “It’s hard to experience, it’s not easy at all,” she shook her head.

“Then, you’ll help me along the way, right?”

“Your experience could be different than mine, but I’ll try to,” Eunseo responded. Then glancing at the clock on the wall, the hands read 12:34. Turning back to Baekhyun, she then moved the covers. “We should go to sleep. Today must’ve been a lot for you.”

Baekhyun nodded before getting up and shutting the lights off, leaving the streetlights from outside to be the only sources of light. 

After Eunseo laid down on the mattress and pulled the covers over her, she was met with the same, blank ceiling. Its emptiness within the dark was a good visual of what the past few days felt like. Beside her, Bekhyun laid himself down with a small sigh. Turning her head to him, he was glancing at the ceiling with empty eyes that she could somewhat make out with the dim lighting from outside.

“You know,” Baekhyun began, “I told her that I was worried what the outcome of the surgery would be before you and your mother came.”

Turning her body to him, Eunseo asked, “Did she say anything?”

“She said there was nothing to worry about and I was too worked up for the worst.” He sniffled his nose before continuing, “I tried to think positively like her, that the surgery would be successful and she would be healthier again but in the back of my mind, part of me wondered if it could go wrong. I still told her what would happen if it went wrong and she scolded me for having negative thoughts.” He then ended with, “She had me promise her not to be pessimistic in this situation. She promised me back that things will go well.” 

Eunseo could imagine that happening between the two. Even in serious situations, Mrs. Byun would always find a way to scold Baekhyun. 

“So as soon as she went into surgery, I tried hard to think positively,” Baekhyun said. “I tried really hard. But you know how that ended…” He was quiet momentarily, then he turned his body to her before asking softly and somewhat almost desperately, “You won’t leave me, right?”

She was almost in disbelief hearing that question but knowing the circumstances, she understood why he would ask such a question. “No,” she shook her head, “I won’t.”

Baekhyun was silent, pondering her answer. A small hopeful smile appeared on his face. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

He then asked, “Then, is it okay if I can hold you for tonight?”

Eunseo found herself smiling, she then nodded. “Of course.”

Soon, she found herself settled onto Baekhyun’s chest. It was something they both needed most. In one arm, Baekhyun held her hand tightly that was on his chest and his other arm wrapped around her torso with his hand resting on her back. She could sense his heart beating against his chest and him slowly breathing. From the way she was tightly held by him, it felt like he feared he would lose her like he had with Mrs. Byun. 

“I love you, Eunseo,” Baekhy