[CONTENTID1] 013. [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2] Spilling Comfort [/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

While the heaviness within Eunseo had somewhat faded, it was only now replaced by anxiousness as she pondered how she could confront Baekhyun. Shortly after the cafe, she paced in her room as questions and numerous scenarios ran rampant in her overwhelmed mind.

“Should I do it tonight,” Eunseo whispered to herself. After thinking for several minutes, she shook her head, “No, I shouldn’t.”

It was easy to say that she would apologize soon. But now after thinking, it didn’t seem so simplistic as it should, like that time she decided to propose the idea  to change Baekhyun but couldn’t even think of a way to start. Eunseo laid down on her bed and glanced up at the ceiling.

How would she even approach Baekhyun after spending the entire week avoiding him or even Mrs. Byun? Just say hello and then go straight to the point? What would she even do if he refuses to talk to her? Simply leave? Or instead of actually confronting him, she could simply text him a long apology… but it would be an insensitive thing to do the more she thought about it. 

“I’m going to go insane,” Eunseo softly whispered to herself as tears started to come back. Wiping them with her hand and rubbing it on her covers, she sighed heavily. 

Baekhyun’s company was comforting, joyful, just simply everything to her. Spending an entire week without interacting with him once was getting increasingly unbearable. And with her feelings harbored for him, the emptiness only numbed her overwhelmingly.

She had to talk to him. She needed to.

“I’ll just go tomorrow…”

-

The next day, Eunseo spent the entire day planning the entire interaction in her head up to the point where she typed it into her notes in her phone and rehearsed it in her head numerous times. It was good enough to say that she was a wreck as time ticked toward the evening.

Her mind drifted to just those set of thoughts as she did her routine, not one moment did it rest. And in no time, the clock struck at nine in the evening. Making her way down stairs, the sound of Eunseo’s footsteps caught the attention of her mother who sat in the living room, watching a reality show. 

“Where are you going,” her mother asked, turning her head toward Eunseo’s direction. 

“I’m going to Mrs. Byun’s house,” Eunseo answered as she slipped out of her house slippers and wore her outside shoes. “I have to go apologize to Baekhyun.”

“This late? Can’t you do that tomorrow when it’s daytime?”

Eunseo bit her lip, she was itching to run out the door, “I don’t think I can handle another day of not seeing him.” And before her mother could say anything, she rushed out the door, bidding a quick “goodbye.”

The streets were dark with a few of the streetlights illuminating parts of the way. Bugs awoke from the clouded darkness, breaking the silence with their soft chirps. Eunseo’s feet dragged across the asphalt road as she came closer to the Byun’s residence and after what felt like eternity, she now stood at their front door.

Standing in front of their door had never felt so nerve wracking. It always felt so welcoming, knowing the people who lived behind it. Yet, it now felt like coming into a stranger’s home. Before her hand reached to ring the doorbell, a sudden thought came to her mind as her hand stopped mid-air. What would she even do if it was Baekhyun who would answer the door? Would she have to apologize at the spot with the chance of having Mrs. Byun listen in? She didn’t prepare for that scenario.

No, Eunseo, you walked all the way out here, do not turn back now, she thought to herself sternly. You want to see Baekhyun more? It’s now or never.

Taking a few deep breaths to regain her composure, Eunseo instantly placed her finger on the doorbell and waited for a response. It didn’t take long for the door to open and she breathed a sigh of relief when it was Mrs. Byun that answered.

“Eunseo, dear… What are you doing here at this time of day,” Mrs. Byun asked as she looked palpably surprised by her presence. “Did something happen?”

“I, um, I came here to talk to Baekhyun. Is he here?”

“Is this about what happened last week?”

Eunseo nodded as her head slowly lowered to the ground, “Yes, it is,” she answered meekly.

“Ah, I was wondering if something would be done about that between you two,” she nodded. “He’s not in the house at the moment,” she then pointed up toward the sky, continuing with, “He’s on the rooftop. I hope you two reconcile, it’s painful for me to see you two like this.”

“I hope so too,” Eunseo replied. She didn’t know what she would do if they didn’t.

“Now get up there, I don’t want to keep you down here for so long,” Mrs. Byun shot a smile.

Bowing her head curtly, Eunseo smiled back. “Of course.”

Turning to her right, Eunseo began walking down until the stone stairway came to view. Before she could trudge up the first step, her heart raced wildly while her palms started to dampen with her sweat. It was in fact happening, talking to Baekhyun. As she began to walk up every step, every thought within her seemed like it was telling her to turn back but her heart said otherwise. Finally, she was now on the rooftop and the sight as she turned to her side left her frozen.

Baekhyun was sitting on a wooden platform, holding his phone in one hand and a beer can in the other. His head hung low as he scrolled through his device, not even noticing her presence. A smile crept to her face seeing him but it faded as he then turned and looked at her.

Something about Baekhyun’s demeanor was off, like he had seen something he didn’t want to see (it was probably her). His eyes narrowed at the sight of her, which only sent a sharp pain to her heart. Eunseo stood in silence, then opened to speak but no sound came out. Baekhyun then turned back and drank from his beer can.

“i-I just wanted to come here,” Eunseo began hesitantly, “...to apologize to you.”

Baekhyun paused, his shoulders seemed to have stiffen from her words. He sat silently, not even sparing a glance at her. 

“I’m sorry for calling you heartless,” Eunseo continued. “I was blinded by my own anger and my own skewed view on love, I failed to see that you were anything but heartless.” And just like that, she sniffed her nose knowing tears were close to forming. “I’m so sorry, Baekhyun. I messed up everything because of my stupidity and ignorance.”

Baekhyun’s silence was deafening and it felt like her words fell insignificant to him. Eunseo choked back her tears.

“You have every right to be mad at me. You can yell at me, curse at me, anything,” she exclaimed, hoping he would do anything as a response. “I...I just miss your company. Please just talk to me, say something.”

He remained silent and tears spilled indefinitely down her cheeks. This was it. She ruined it, she ruined everything.

“I-I spent so much of life seeing love as such a nice thing, I-I convinced myself with my own lies that I forgot how the reality of it felt,” Eunseo began. “Love isn’t as beautiful as I say it is; it’s messy, confusing, and just… heartbreaking.” Her sobs grew louder as she continued, “I’m genuinely so glad to have met you, Baekhyun. Y-You broke my little bubble,” she managed to smile amidst her sobs. 

Taking his silence as his only response, she turned around, her vision blurred again, prompting her to wipe them away repeatedly to the point where her skin started to burn from the