April 16th, 2020

Donghyuck watched Taeyong across the room for a moment, weighing out his options of whether to apologise or keep being the petty  he was at heart. Taeyong stared right back, one eyebrow raised in amusement as if he could sense the inner turmoil going on inside Donghyuck's head and heart. 

"Just think about that, okay?" Taeyong said Donghyuck nodded, eyes about to narrow, before he remembered the manners Jaehyun had taught him and his left eye twitched in frustration. Taeyong lip pulled up into a small smile. 

"Alright." Donghyuck muttered, getting up and leaving the room altogether, ignoring Taeyong's suddenly loud giggles coming from the room behind him. Donghyuck huffed and pulled at the bottom of his hoodie, his fingers drifting to the strings of the fabric, fiddling with them in thought. 

Taeyong had ultimately saved Jaemin; no matter how many times Donghyuck wanted to deny it, it was true. If the 'dreamies' hadn't been there, then Jaemin would be dead already and not even his apparent delusions and vivid dreams could bring him back from the dead. But, then again, Donghyuck had always considered Taeyong as good as dead for abandoning him all those years ago on that day, so why shouldn't Jaemin be sorted into the same boat? Why should Donghyuck be thinking things over? Reconsidering his view on Taeyong and his little gang of fugitives? — even if the gang had his cute ex boyfriend in it that Donghyuck was far from over. 

Donghyuck felt the body before he saw it as it knocked him backwards and he fell, hitting his head slightly on the way down. With a groan, Donghyuck reached behind his head and shook away the slight daze his eyes had adapted before focusing on who the  had made him almost knock himself out. And it was just his luck.

Na ing Jaemin.

Jaemin stood there, eyes wide as he stared down at Donghyuck with shock. Behind Jaemin, what Donghyuck had been informed of by Taeyong, was the rest of the 'dreamies'. 

"H-Hyuck ..." Jaemin muttered and Donghyuck scrambled to his feet, swaying on his feet slightly from the previous fall. He closed his eyes for a second, brought his hand to his forehead and clenched his eyes tightly. "Donghyuck ..?" Jaemin repeated, softly, watching Donghyuck's eyes as they slid open. Donghyuck stared at him. 

"I ... I'm sorry." Was all Jaemin said to elaborate and Donghyuck sighed, hands coming to fiddle with the sleeves of his hoodie in anxiousness. He couldn't look Jaemin in the eyes anymore. 

"Don't say that to me." Donghyuck whispered after a long silence that bit at Donghyuck's heals like rods of red hot iron. Jaemin's face grew confused. "Don't apologise to me; it should be Jaehyun your apologising to. I ... I don't ... I don't belong in a family — I've learned that over and over again ..." Donghyuck trailed off, seeing Jaemin's face fall in sadness and grief. No pity though; Jaemin never showed Donghyuck pity or anyone for that matter. 

"Hyuck ... you — you deserve everything and more. What happened to you ... in the past shouldn't have happened!" Jaemin declared in desperation and Donghyuck flinched backwards when Jaemin's voice began to get louder than his normal speaking tone. 

Donghyuck opened his mouth. 

"Hyung ..?" Donghyuck turned to see Chen Le standing in the corridor, tears streaming down his face in thick lines. Donghyuck, who was positive that they could both use the hug, opened his arms for the younger. Chen Le choked on another sob and flung himself into Donghyuck warmth, immediately crying into his shoulder and releasing the pent up emotions he felt. 

"Another nightmare?" Donghyuck hummed and Chen Le nodded, the space were Chen Le's head was buried in his neck moving up and down with the action. Donghyuck could feel the slight dampness in his hoodie from Chen Le's tears. "What of, Le Le?" Donghyuck asked and Chen Le sobbed harder; Donghyuck drawing circular motion's into his shoulder blade. 

"It was you ... of what they would do to you ... again ~" Donghyuck froze, his limbs locking up in overwhelming panic he hadn't felt in years. Chen Le sniffled for a moment and in that moment, Doyoung came rushing down the corridor with Kun hot on his heals and Taeil not far behind.

"Chen Le, we told you not to leave the hospital room! Taeil was checking your vitals and health; that's important you know ..." Doyoung trailed off into silence when he noticed the position Donghyuck and Chen Le were in, understanding flickering across his face. "Again?" He whispered and Donghyuck nodded gently, Chen Le's breathing becoming soft and light as if he had fallen asleep. 

"He fell asleep?" Donghyuck murmured in confusion and Kun chuckled, extending his arms. Donghyuck softly swept Chen Le into a bridal style carriage and gave the small, slightly shivering body to Kun, who handled Chen Le like he was the most fragile thing on the planet. 

"Standing up?" Taeil asked in shock and Doyoung shrugged like it was normal.

"This ... alien does it all the time — whenever he actually takes the time to sleep." Doyoung said, gesturing to Donghyuck, who was stuck in thought, pondering something as he fiddled with the strings of his hoodie. Doyoung noticed, placing a hand on his shoulder and tilted his head, curious. "What's wrong?" He asked and Donghyuck exhaled slowly, ignoring the 'dreamies' stares. 

"It's just ... the Operation was ... barely anything when they kidnapped me and — you know — but now it's top notch and they have spies everywhere. My friend in the FBI said that he knows some people that have been acting different and if they're spies in the FBI where they're highly trained individuals that notice everything, then why ... are we — you really safe?" Donghyuck whispered, drawing a sharp breath out of Doyoung. 

"Donghyuck ..." Doyoung sighed softly. "You've got to stop thinking you can save everyone — you've got to stop thinking you're the main cause of people's deaths. Jaemin for example, you blamed yourself for his death for years; up until yesterday, you were still convinced you were at fault. You've got to start realising that some things happen and there's nothing you can do to stop them, Donghyuck, but you just ... you just have to adapt and grow for future situations." Doyoung explained, ignoring Taeil's questioning look to his side and Kun's nod of agreement. 

"We don't want you to suffer anymore than you have, Hyuckie." Kun quipped in and Doyoung smiled softly in agreement. Donghyuck pulled the ends of his sleeves over his hands as if they would hide the small stumps where he had bitten them to the edge after finding out Operation Octavia was involved in the whole mess. Operation Octavia was his worst nightmare of all time — especially the things they did to him inside the godforsaken building. 

Donghyuck felt like breaking down again. 

Chen Le sniffled in his sleep as if agreeing with Donghyuck.

"I — I know, I just — I worry." Donghyuck muttered and decided to add because Doyoung was giving him that stupid look as if he had swallowed a bunch of slimy bugs. "I worry for others, loser, not for me obviously. For you two, for Chen Le, for Jaemin ~" Jaemin's mouth parted slightly in surprise. Donghyuck carried on. "For Jaehyun most especially." Donghyuck grumbled then added saltily. "That man never has time for me." 

Doyoung laughed. "Yeah, Jae's always working his  off sitting on that stupid desk. He's practically married to his work and you and Chen Le are like his little children slash minions." That got Donghyuck's mood up for he straightened up with a fiery glare in Doyoung's direction, lower lip jutting out at the description. 

"And you're his rat side-kick that cleans the dirt off the bottom of his soles. At least I'm a higher rank than you; you should be kneeling at my feet right now yet you're still standing." Donghyuck snapped back, and Doyoung stuck his tongue out, eyes twinkling when he shared a glance with Kun. 

"Where do I stand?" Kun asked, interested and Donghyuck scoffed. 

"Higher than Doyoung for sure." Donghyuck muttered and Kun brightened while Doyoung repeated the action he previously did, putting more bite into it than needed as a snarkish playful addition. Donghyuck smirked, his face flickering for a moment when Doyoung and Kun shared another glance. 

"You ~" Donghyuck gasped. "Y-You smart bastards. Trying to divert my thoughts until I don't think about Operation Octavia. Kun, you're smart, I'll give you that." Donghyuck said and Doyoung spluttered indignantly while Kun snickered to himself, Chen Le stirring in his arms as he silently shook. 

"It was my idea!" Doyoung protested, slightly stomping his foot and Donghyuck burst out into laughter, the dull atmosphere raising from the dumps momentarily.

~~~~~

April 18th, 2020

A harsh slap connected with Donghyuck's face and he crumpled to the floor from the blow, eyes hazy from the sudden attack. Someone shouted his name from across the courtyard, worry and confusion lacing their voices. 

"You deserve to die!" The culprit screamed, pulling her foot back and delivering a blow to his stomach that seemed to burn as it connected with his skin. 

"Stupid!"

"Ugly!"

"!"

"!"

"Disgusting!"

"Sin!"

"Disgrace!" 

"Disease!"

Donghyuck jerked awake, pupils blown wide from his distressing dream. People were crowded around his bed as he panted, eyes desperately searching for something around the room. It seemed like someone had shaken him awake for a face recognizable to Donghyuck was retracting his hands, but Donghyuck couldn't remember the guy’s name for the life of him. 

"Hyuckie." Doyoung whispered softly, reaching forward hesitantly, quickly pulling backwards when Donghyuck made a sound of distress, shuffling against the wall and curling himself into a small ball, rocking himself back and forward. The dream was still pliant in his mind, always on the surface of his thoughts and always present when he closed his eyes. 

"You were screaming in your sleep again." Kun murmured and once again tried to reach forward and initiate some type of contact, but Donghyuck voice was heard squeaking and backing away further into one corner of the room. After some moments of silence, Donghyuck buried his face in his knees, frame shaking silently. 

"Le Le's already rang Jae." Doyoung informed Kun, who nodded quietly, glad that Donghyuck seemed to be tuning out their conversation: he probably wouldn't hear them talking about himself in his state.

"Chen Le's in bed, right?" Kun asked, the whole room falling silent as the duo conversed, interested and curious, yet mostly confused. If Donghyuck got such bad nightmares, then why the hell was he still working on the police where nightmares were expected to come at a more frequent pace? Shouldn't the horrors of his past be enough? Why was he putting himself throught all that if he had the control to stop it? 

"Yeah. I wouldn't put him through the torture of seeing Hyuck like this. He's never broken down before; no one has seen him like this apart from Jae — he doesn't trust anyone else really." Doyoung replied, something bitter lacing his words. "Donghyuck's had it worse than anyone in the force and he's one of the youngest — Chen Le's role model is Hyuck, he looks up to him; seeing Donghyuck in this state would snap him in half." 

A deep silence settled.

"I'm here." Jaehyun whispered-shouted, flying into the room and shocking Taeyong, Mark and Jeno, who were all standing back, near the door. Jaemin was in his room after they had announced that Jaehyun was coming as the upcoming news and updates hadn't been informed to him yet. Donghyuck was planning on doing it the next day, but it seemed like the confrontation had to be pushed back slightly.

"Well, that was quick ~"

"You know I never mess around when it comes to Hyuckie." Jaehyun interrupted quickly, walking to Donghyuck's side and crouching down next to the bed. "Hyuckie, sweetie, it's me — Jaehyunnie." Jaehyun whispered, coaxing Donghyuck to look up with sweet and comforting words, murmuring reassurances when Donghyuck almost raised his head, but seemed to doubt himself and bring his head back to his knees. Donghyuck seemed so small like this; like a little kid trying to console himself, all alone and broken. 

"Donghyuck, look at me." Jaehyun said and Donghyuck finally, finally lifted his head from his knees and stared at Jaehyun's left cheek, not daring to look him in the eyes. "Into my eyes, sweetie." Donghyuck hesitantly obeyed, locking eyes with Jaehyun — his brother; not by blood, but by choice and he choked up at the thought, springing forward and tackling Jaehyun to the floor. Jaehyun let out a small squeak when his back collided with the floor, eyes falling shut with the impact, wrapping his arms around Donghyuck's small frame. 

Donghyuck shivered at the warmth of his hyung.

"You're going to be okay; we're going to be okay." Jaehyun said and no matter how many times Jaehyun said it, Donghyuck couldn't help but mistrust his hyung's promises every single time.