“Do you think Xiening is…different?” Yijin catches herself asking Zhao Yue one day.

Zhao Yue’s brow knits. “What do you mean, different?”

“Like…quieter.” Sadder is what Yijin means to say, really, but she doesn’t want to use the word. It just sounds so—bleak. “Not as energetic as before, I guess.”

Zhao Yue is silent for a moment. “Yes,” she finally says. “I do think she is. It was really obvious in the first few days after the finale, but now she’s more talkative and cheery like before. Still, it’s not the same.”

Yijin nods, glad that Zhao Yue picked up on it as well. “I’m worried about her.”

“I am too, but do you think we should talk to her about it? I’m worried that it’ll just make things worse.”

“It might,” Yijin concedes. “I just don’t like feeling so…helpless, I guess.”

“You’ve always been a fixer,” Zhao Yue says fondly, and then sighs. “But some things can’t be fixed.”

Yes, Yijin thinks. Some things can’t be.

“Xiening,” Yijin greets brightly when she sees her next.

Xiening smiles, but it looks—muted, as most of her expressions have been lately, like someone put a layer of frosted glass over them. “Yijin, hey.”

“How are you doing?” Yijin asks casually.

Xiening blinks. “Fine.”

“You look thinner.” Yijin pinches her waist. “You know, you’re supposed to be drinking xiaomanyao yogurt^[1], not getting one.”

Xiening laughs. “Are you saying I don’t already have one? I’m offended.”

She seems in good spirits, but still, Yijin wonders if she’s imagining that her laughter isn’t as bright as it used to be. Maybe Yijin is merely seeing what she’s looking for.

“I feel like I’m being mothered,” Xiening says jokingly. “You’re taking this parent thing with you and Zhao Yue pretty seriously, huh?”

“Am I stifling you already?” Yijin returns in an equally light tone.

Xiening shakes her head. “No, it’s fine.” She swallows. “I know you’re…taking care of me. I appreciate it. And I know”—her voice drops—“I know she asked you to.”

Yijin doesn’t need to ask who ‘she’ is. “It’s not just because of that.”

“No, I know that. You’re a good friend. You always have been.” Xiening gives her a smile that’s genuine but weary at the edges. “Don’t worry so much about me. I’m not going to crack. We’re hard candy, right, not those soft chews that just melt super easily.”

Yijin can only say, “Liu Xiening, that was terrible.”

Xiening laughs at that. “I know, I know. Give me a break, I came up with that on the spot.”

“Your pun game needs help.”

“Oi, Ms. Yogurt, you’re not much better yourself.”

“They made us endorse it so much it’s etched in my brain.”

“Okay, Rong Momo,” Xiening says, and Yijin pretends to pull out a hairpin and stab her.

“You saw Xiening, right?” Zhao Yue asks expectantly. “How did it go?”

“She’s a hard candy that’s not going to break,” Yijin says, and Zhao Yue looks at her like she’s wondering why she’s even with Yijin. “Those were her words, okay?”

Zhao Yue wrinkles her nose. “She couldn’t come up with a better pun than that?”

“That’s what I said too!” Yijin grins, but then her expression sobers. “I think that…she’s doing better.”

“That’s good.”

“She even brought up Yiyang.” Zhao Yue’s eyebrows fly up. “Well, not by name but she mentioned that she knows Yiyang asked me to take care of her.”

“She doesn’t think…?”

Yijin waves that way. “No, no, she knows it’s not just that.” She hesitates, and ducks her head against Zhao Yue’s shoulder. “We’re lucky, you know.”

“To be in the group? I know.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. Well, yes, we are, but I mean— We’re lucky, to have each other. To be together like this.”

“Whoa, I wasn’t ready for this sudden sentiment,” Zhao Yue says, but Yijin doesn’t miss the pleased flush on her cheeks.

“Well, treasure it because I’m not going to say it again,” Yijin says, and Zhao Yue laughs.

“Oh, I definitely will.” Zhao Yue runs a hand down Yijin’s arm, almost absently, like she doesn’t know she’s doing it. “We are lucky,” she says softly. “I wish they could be too.”

“Yeah,” Yijin murmurs. “I wish.”

Yijin sees Xiening from the back and is about to approach her when she realizes that Xiening is on the phone.

She hears Xiening sniff. “I miss you,” she says, her voice cracking in her signature way.

Yijin pulls back immediately, not wanting to eavesdrop, but she can already guess who’s on the other end of the line. Xiening only uses that tone with one person.

Some things can’t be fixed, she hears Zhao Yue’s words again, and I wish they could be too.

She must have zoned out for a bit because the next thing she knows, Xiening is walking toward her while wiping her eyes.

Xiening comes to a stop in front of her. “Oh, Yijin. I didn’t see you there.”

“I just, uh, I thought that was you but then I saw you were on the phone so…” Yijin trails off. She hopes Xiening doesn’t know Yijin overheard her, not for her sake but for Xiening’s.

“Oh, I’m done now,” Xiening says. Her eyes are dry, at least, and not red. “What’s up?”

“I just…wondered if you wanted to get something to eat together,” Yijin invents, even though she just ate with Zhao Yue.

“I think I’m good. Thanks though. Maybe you can ask Zhao Yue?”

“I was just with her.”

Xiening nods, like she had expected that. “I mean, it’s good to enjoy some alone time together, even though I know you two have a room all to yourselves and everything.” Yijin’s face goes hot, and Xiening flushes too, quickly adding, “I didn’t mean that the way it came out! Just that it’s probably convenient and you… Okay, I’m going to stop talking.”

Yijin can’t help it, she bursts into laughter, and Xiening follows, although hers is quieter, starts later but ends sooner.

“I’m just saying—” Xiening breaks off, her expression thoughtful, wistful. “You should, you know, enjoy your time with her.” While it lasts, Yijin can almost hear. “Ah, sorry.” Xiening scratches the back of her head. “I’m such a downer. I must be getting nostalgic in my old age. Don’t mind me.”

“Xiening, we’re the same age,” Yijin says wryly.

“Oh, right. I got too used to being Liu-jie.”

“You don’t have to, you know.”

“Hmm?”

“Be Liu-jie,” Yijin clarifies. “You don’t have to be an older sister figure. You don’t have to be—anyone. Anyone else, I mean.”

Xiening stares at her silently for a long moment, and then she smiles and says, “Thanks, Yijin,” and the gratitude in her voice is sincere but Yijin can tell Xiening doesn’t believe her. “Honestly, I should call you Wang-jie.”

Yijin laughs. “You can call me that if you want.”

“Wang-jie,” Xiening says sweetly, and times like this Yijin forgets that they’re the same age, that Xiening is technically older. “Actually, now that you mentioned it, I am a bit hungry. Is that offer still open?”

“Of course,” Yijin says, even though her full stomach protests at the thought of more food. “What do you want to eat?”

Xiening doesn’t even hesitate. “Something spicy.”

“You like spicy food so much. You really are a fake Guangdong person,” Yijin teases.

“Not your favourite Guangdong though, right?” Xiening quips back, and Yijin pretends to be irked but she can’t help a smile.

And when Xiening smiles back, bright and genuine, it feels like a victory.

This time, Xiening is the one who finds Yijin, who’s half-watching a video with Zhao Yue and half-talking about aimless things.

“Hey, Ms. Yogurt, I was wondering if you wanted some,” she says, holding out two bottles.

“Is that Yijin’s nickname now?” Zhao Yue asks.

“Yeah, you should watch her, she’s become an ad machine for them.”

“Don’t make me get out my hairpin,” Yijin warns, and Xiening grins.

“Sorry, am I interrupting your couple time?”

Zhao Yue coughs but says, “Don’t be silly, come here,” patting the spot next to her.

Xiening gracelessly sprawls onto the bed. Sometimes Yijin can’t believe that this is the girl who is so striking and powerful onstage even her hair seems to dance.

“I was talking to Yiyang earlier,” Xiening says casually, and Yijin and Zhao Yue exchange a startled look with each other.

Yijin recovers first. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, she says that we should get together sometime. The four of us.”

“We should,” Zhao Yue says immediately. “It’ll be fun. Let’s get hot pot together.”

Yijin matches her light tone. “The Guangdong person eating from the spicy side and the Sichuan person eating from the bland side. It’ll be a record occasion.”

“Yiyang would resent that,” Xiening laughs. “Also, she said that you two must be disgustingly cute and worries about the state of my eyes.”

Zhao Yue turns an endearing pink. “We are not—”

Xiening looks at her innocently. “Don’t worry, I told Yiyang that we’ll take revenge when we all meet up.”

“I already have diabetes,” Yijin says, only half-joking. She can already imagine how they’ll be all over each other. Maybe Yijin and Zhao Yue should get a separate booth.

“I’m sure she’s going to message you later, but – she wants to thank you. And I do too.” Xiening brings a hand to the back of her neck. “Thanks for—you know.”

“Being your parents?” Yijin says lightly. “No problem. Just get us some nuomiji^[2].”

“And cake,” Zhao Yue adds.

Xiening makes a face. “If you’re my parents, shouldn’t you buy me snacks?”

“Lao Zhao, children are so ungrateful these days,” Yijin sighs to Zhao Yue.

“I know, it’s such a shame.”

Xiening throws a bottle of yogurt at them. Okay, in their direction, but that thing is frozen solid and can definitely do some damage. Yijin is going to give her a manners lesson later. Zhao Yue picks it up and tests it before telling Yijin that they’ll have to wait for it to defrost for a bit.

“I wish Yiyang were here,” Xiening suddenly says in a small voice. Yijin feels a wave of sympathy wash over her. “But I know she wouldn’t – she doesn’t – want me to spend the whole time missing her and feeling sad. And I’m trying not to but I can’t just…turn my feelings off, you know?”

“I know,” Yijin says gently, “and you shouldn’t feel like you have to.”

Xiening blinks very hard. “I feel like I’m being ungrateful. So many girls would kill to be where I am now. I shouldn’t be sulking.”

“You’re not sulking,” Zhao Yue says. “You’re—you miss the person you love. It’s natural.” She glances at Yijin, like she’s reassuring herself that Yijin is really there, and Yijin squeezes her hand.

“It sounds so cheesy when you put it like that,” Xiening says with a flicker of a smile. “Yiyang would cringe.”

“Only on the outside, I’m sure,” Yijin says. Oh geez, she really is starting to sound like a mom.

“We’ll find out during hot pot,” Xiening says, grinning rather mischievously. “I hope you guys are ready for payback.”

“Bring it on,” Zhao Yue says.

“Can’t wait,” Yijin adds, and she means it.

Some things can’t be fixed.

But maybe, some things that you thought to be broken aren’t, actually. Maybe they’re stronger than you think.

Yijin looks at Xiening and Zhao Yue, now squabbling over something. Her phone chimes and she sees that she does, indeed, have a message from Yiyang.

Thank you, Yijin. I know I don’t have to tell you that she’s more fragile than she seems and she needs you guys more than ever. Thank you for being there for her.

No need to thank me, Yijin replies. What are friends for?

Yiyang sends back a smiley face and Hot pot is on me.

Looking forward to it! I’m going to bring some sunglasses in case you two blind me with your PDA.

Ha ha. If Xiening’s eyesight is still intact, I think you two will be fine.

“Yijin,” Xiening whines. “Why are you on your phone? We’re supposed to be spending family quality time here.”

“Just talking to my daughter-in-law,” Yijin says, grinning at how Xiening starts and blushes. “She says hot pot is her treat. What a nice kid. You hold on to her now.”

“That’s the plan,” Xiening says softly, the light back in her eyes, and Yijin smiles to see it.

A/N: [1] 小蛮腰 / xiaomanyao = the yogurt they were endorsing, named "small shapely waist" because of the shape of the bottle

[2] 糯米鸡 / nuomiji (show translated it as "steamed chicken rice") = a classic dim sum dish with steamed glutinous rice, chicken, Chinese mushrooms and Chinese sausage wrapped in a dried lotus leaf and steamed