Everything’s not okay.

"Argh, damn it!"

The frustration in her voice gathers some attention without her intending it to be. Seulgi doesn't really care though, too bothered with the fact that her element is not cooperating with her, at all.

"Seulgi," Miss Bada walks to her, the white clipboard that she previously used to write something on it is now on her side. 

“Can I talk to you?” She puts her palm on her shoulder, asking her quietly before she continues to walk past her and Seulgi understands instantly that the mentor wants her to follow her, so she did. A big part of Seulgi is glad that miss Bada chose a spot where she doesn’t have to walk past her teammates because she knows she doesn’t have the courage to meet their worried eyes.

Maybe from shame, or from guilt. She’s not sure herself.

She shakes her head, turns her body, and follows Miss Bada with her head hanging low. As much as she wants to, she’s unable to shake off the pathetic feeling she’s currently basking in, so she resorts to focus her eyes on the grass.  

They stop at the shadow of a big tree, and Seulgi finally brings her eyes up, inspecting the area around them and her body relaxes a little when she notes that they’re far enough for them to have some privacy. 

“Seulgi,” Miss Bada starts, her posture changes to the kind that tells her she will get some scolding by the cross of the arms in front of her chest, but her tone and facial expression are the exact opposite of it. “I thought that I already told you to rest.. forcing your body in your current state is not going to help you in your healing process.”

“I’m sorry, miss. I just...” Seulgi pauses for a second to collect her thoughts as her mind wanders to all of her unsuccessful attempts at igniting a single flame earlier. “I just want to be able to control my element again…”

“You will, Seulgi,” Miss Bada replies. “You will be able to control them again when the time comes. But for now, you have to focus on healing your wounds first.”

Seulgi lets out a heavy sigh, shaking her head as if in disbelief. "It's just... it's been almost a month, Miss... I feel like I'm wasting too much time if I keep being like this. I thought that I was able to practice again because my hands are already healed very well, and Mrs. Hana said that they're already in good enough shape for me to try practicing again, but..." 

But her body is not cooperating with her. She used everything she could to light up the flames to her gloved hands. She knows she executed everything perfectly, be it with her energy management, with the 5 spots that she focuses her energy to flow through like how Joohyun taught her to, but despite all of that, her element never appeared to her hands again, as if there was a button that was switched off ever since she lost her control back then.

"It will take time, Seulgi, and that is perfectly fine. No one can instantly get back on track after that kind of incident." Miss Bada replies with a gentle tone, filled with sympathy and understanding for the Fire student. "I'm sure that all of the girls are supportive of you as well, right?"

Seulgi gives a little nod of her head, recollecting the times that she was bombarded with support by her teammates every time she felt disheartened by her own condition.

"Yes, they are."

Seulgi hates how her voice wavers at the end of the sentence and she can feel the urge to cry crawling from . She bites her lower lip while blinking furiously in an attempt to prevent the tears from falling down, but nonetheless, a lone tear manages to escape as it rolls down her cheek. And then another one. And then another.

Seulgi rubs her eyes with her forearms, desperate to wipe the tears off of her face and she's grateful that it's only Miss Bada that sees her in this state.

"Don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing great, Seulgi. Surely, it will take some time and extra effort for you to bounce back again, but just the decision that you made to not give up on using your element is already a very brave thing to do."

Seulgi nods her head again, her arms still busy trying to wipe the tears off of her face before she brings her face up to look at the mentor again. The latter breaks into a reassuring smile the moment their eyes meet.

"Now, for the rest of the day, you should just rest and maybe... do something that you enjoy. Oh wait, you have to get your daily checkup with Hana too, right?"

Seulgi sniffles. "Yeah, but she said that I don't need to anymore because the wounds are already closed."

"That's good to hear." Miss Bada smiles. "Now, you want to say goodbye to them first before you leave or..?"

Seulgi sends a sheepish smile to her, telling the adult that she's too embarrassed to show up with her runny nose and eyes teary without her having to utter a single word. 

Miss Bada chuckles. "Alright, that's okay. I'll tell them instead."

Seulgi tells her gratitude before leaving the area where she and her teammates used to practice. She makes her way to her dorm with heavy feet, taking the pathway that she knows is almost always deserted from people on purpose. Why? you know why. Her eyes are still red from crying earlier and even though no tears are coming out of her eyes anymore, she's pretty sure that anyone who sees her face knew that she had just been crying. 

Seulgi is unlucky enough to come across Jaebum just seconds before she enters her room. The same second Seulgi inserts her metal key into the door lock is the same second Jaebum comes out of his room, which is located just two rooms away from her right.

He takes quick notice of Seulgi as soon as he comes out of his room, giving his usual bop of the head in greeting before walking across the hallway to put the white plastic bag of trash into the rubbish bin. He must have just showered, judging by the wet hair and the small towel on his left shoulder. 

"What's up, you had practice again today?"

"Uh-huh"

Seulgi turns her key twice, the lock clicks two times before she puts her hand on the handle and opens the door.

"You up for some game tonight?"

It's been a few days in which Jaebum would invite her to hang out with the other Fire students and play some card games in the nights in their common room. She assumes Jaebum did that so she can take her mind off of things and sometimes, it works. And usually, Seulgi would accept his offer and spend an hour or two to play some card games with them but she certainly is not in the mood today.

Seulgi shakes her head no, only looking at him in the eyes briefly in hope that Jaebum didn't notice her still teary eyes. 

"Sorry, I think I'm skipping. Feeling kinda tired so I'm planning to rest."

“Hmm. That’s a bummer, I already prepared the spring pea soup that we talked about the other day.” Jaebum clicks his tongue, and by the mention of the known-to-be delicious food around town, Seulgi’s ears perk up, halting her movement as the door opens midway. 

“..Really? I thought the cafeteria here doesn’t have that menu on the list.”

“Yeah, I made it myself.”

Half surprised, half confused, she doesn’t say anything for a beat. 

“...What, you mean you cooked it yourself..?”

“Damn right I did.” He says proudly, grinning widely while puffing out his chest at the same time. “What? don’t give me that look, I really made it myself, dude. Well, Miss Kahi helped me but I contributed to making them.”

“I didn't know you could cook.”

“Yeah well, now you know I guess. Anyway, if you’re still planning to rest instead of hanging out tonight, how about I just drop off a portion of it to you for dinner?”

Seulgi lets out a smile at this. “Sounds good, but I got to ask, it’s edible right?”

He rolls his eyes at this. “Ha ha, very funny. You’ll be surprised at the taste of my amazing creation. One of the best food in the whole universe, I tell ya’”

“Whatever you say, Jaebum. We’ll see.” The raven-haired girl lets out a small chuckle, shaking her head at his antique while turning to face him properly this time.

“Yeah, you’ll see, alright.”

He suddenly doesn’t say anything except stares at her, and Seulgi gulps, thinking that Jaebum must have noticed her teary eyes by now so she quickly averts her eyes elsewhere, clearing in the process.

“Anyway, I’ll be waiting in my room. I guess.”

Fortunately for Seulgi, if he really does notice her post-cry face, he doesn’t say anything about it, to which Seulgi’s grateful for. 

“..Yea, sure. I’ll heat the soup again later and pack it for the other kids too, so I’ll probably deliver it to you when the sun’s down or… probably around 6. How’s that sound?”

Seulgi gives him a grateful smile.

“Sounds great. Thanks, Jaebum.”

•

Just finished with her shower, Seulgi was drying her hair with a towel in the bathroom when two knocks came from the door to her room. 

“Okay, wait a minute.” She shouts from her bathroom, looking at her reflection in the mirror for a second to check that she’s at least presentable before walking out of the bathroom and to the door. She glances at the clock on the white wall of her room. 5:44 PM. Earlier than what he said earlier, not like it's a problem for her though.

She curses under her breath when she realizes she hasn't put her gloves on, so she quickly jogs to her bathroom again to put them on.

Two knocks on her door again, and a 'comingggg' before she reaches the door handle.

"You know these days, you could learn to be more patient Jaeb-"

Seulgi stops halfway through, never getting the rest of the sentence o