“WHAT THE KKKKKK!” I exclaim on the top of my lungs; my hands part from the handlebars of my bike, and they stretch out towards the sky. “WHAT THE KKKK!”

 

This was so hard to swallow. 8 years down the drain. Well, not completely down the drain. Years of his crush wasted, but our friendship is still there and alive—I know I should be grateful for that. It was just hard to fathom that 2 months of not having him by my side changed 8 years worth of a crush.

 

But what could it possibly be? What did this new girl have that I didn’t? Her ability to take through to 8 year olds? I’m sure I was capable of that too.

 

“Why are you like this, Seri? Why, why? You have no right to be angry, no right to be jealous!” I say to myself, panting loudly, while the dusk breeze ripples through my hair. So much for the Korean face mask doing its magic. My face is growing sweaty by the second from this bike ride: half of it due to the actual physical activity and the other half from my frustration boiling inside.

 

“AHHHH—,” I scream, and at the sound of a male’s shout from above, I’m rattled off my bike and now colliding leg-first with the gravel. “,” I say as I reach out to my right knee, the skin showing a bit of blood.

 

“Oh—, sorry Seri! You okay?” The voice shouts again, and I trail the sound back to two people, a boy and a girl, sitting atop a roof. The girl’s laying down, leaning back on her elbows, while the guy is sitting casually with one leg up. There’s a certain swag about the sight, especially with the purple-orange sunset going on behind them.

 

“I’m fine, Taehyung! Please don’t do that again!” I say from below and collect myself back to my feet. The sun is peeking just a bit from below the horizon, but I’m still able to make out their faces, particularly the differences between them.

 

Taehyung and Taemi are twins, and they’re arguably the people that I’ve known the longest in my life—even beats Jungkook. Our neighborhood was newly built back then, and our families moved in at the same time, right when all of us were about 4. We grew up altogether: play dates, birthdays, neighborhood mixers and all.

 

Just like I have Jungkook, they have their own group of friends, so we were never entirely close. But each time we saw each other, it was as if we had been the bestest friends this whole time.

 

“How long have you guys been up there and watching me?” I huff and wheel my way towards their front yard.

 

“Like this whole time? We’ve been out here since 7.” Taemi answers and then pops a grape in . “Wanna join us?”

 

“Yes, please,” I mindlessly answer and park my bike on their sidewalk. The one thing I need the most right now is a distraction, literally anything, so I am super glad to catch up with them. Taemi meets me at the front door then leads to her purple-themed room, where the bedspread is the same butterfly pattern that I remember from childhood.

 

“Welcome,” Taehyung says from outside, his head peeking out from the window. I zoom my eyes to get a clearer, more close up look at him: his brown curls are more grown out, and his teeth are now sparkling white, brace-free.

 

“You got your braces off! How long has it been, like 3 years?” I ask and approach towards the window, and Taehyung politely offers his hand to pull me through.

 

“Yup, got them freshman year, so it’s like I’m being reborn again as a new senior Taehyung. Check out the smile,” Taehyung gives me the widest grin I’ve ever seen in my life, and I nod, impressed.

 

“Damn, I’m so glad my teeth weren’t as ed as your’s.” Taemi says from beside me.

 

“I’m so glad my brain’s not as small as your’s, sis,” Taehyung shoots back, and she her teeth in response. It’s completely true: Taehyung had always been the one involved in the math team and science club, while Taemi was well-known for her skills in ice-skating.

 

A part of me understands it; whenever my sister and I would be in the same setting, it was so much easier for everyone to compare our similarities and pinpoint out our differences. It was better, for both of us, to be on separate paths.

 

It must be worse for Taehyung and Taemi to look exactly the same, and deal with the same issue. Both had your not-so-typical curled hair, both looking more like rippled waves. Both had thick, dark brows, high nose bridges (Taemi was more of a dainty, fairy-like one, I’ve always been envious of it), and plumped lips. Well, I will say I think Taehyung’s have visibly reduced after taking his braces off.

 

“Try to run a 8 minute mile with those lanky twigs you call legs and then come talk to me. Matter of fact, just try to run, period.”

 

“Get something higher than a C for once and then come talk to me!”

 

“Holy , if I didn’t say yes to coming up here, would you guys still be arguing over nothing?” I cough, and the two tense up, clasping their hands together and placing them between their legs.

 

“Anyways,” I say to ease the tension. “How were you guys’ summers?”

 

“Sorry. I worked with my dad at his tech company for the most part.” Taehyung answers, “I had to wake up at 5 AM each morning to make it on time, so I definitely won’t be missing that.”

 

“And then I attended a few summer programs and then an ice-skating retreat for like 2 weeks.” Taemi says and brings out her phone to show me her phone screen. “A much needed break from all of this. What about you Seri?”

 

“Yeah, how was your summer?” Taehyung continues. “Care to explain your little argument to yourself out there?”

 

“Ugh, sorry you guys had to see that… I really thought I was alone. What are you guys doing out here on the roof anyways? I’ve never seen both of you up here before.”

 

“I literally just found out how to remove my window screen. All I had to do was push, who knew?”

 

“Also, don’t deflect from the question. I see what you did there,” Taehyung squints his right eye and points a finger at me.

 

“Uhm,” I start, uncertain of where I’m headed. “My summer was fine! I just spent a bunch of time with my family. Read a lot, baked a lot. Watched too many shows on Netflix that I’m too ashamed to even say,” I laugh and to my surprise, the twins are nodding along, totally not the unimpressed reaction I was expecting. “So, yeah, that was my summer.”

 

“Okay, gotcha… I still think you’re missing a part still,” Taemi winks.

 

I let out an audible sigh, my chest feeling heavy again after being reminded. The thought of Jungkook and his new girlfriend, which I oddly still don’t know the name of, had been dwelling in my head this whole time, unpleasant and uncomfortable, like a migraine. Taehyung and Taemi are barely on a texting-basis with me, let alone friends I’d liberally pour my heart to.

 

But it, I wanna vent, and they want to listen.

 

“So, you guys know how Jungkook and I have been friends for like forever?” I say, and they nod.

 

“And you guys know how he’s had a crush on me, for like, forever?” They nod again.

 

“I think I know where this is going,” Taemi mutters, but Taehyung is still wide-eyed, confused. “When I saw the Instagram picture, I needed a second take. It was really... different.”

 

“What are you guys talking about?” He says, and I just hold out my phone for him to grab.

 

“My password’s 2002. Just look up his Instagram on my phone,” I say monotonously. Taehyung has no social media, which is commendable, for sure, but I would be so out of the loop with everything—current events, high school drama, which celebrity is cancelled this week, and so on without it.

 

“I don’t even know her name, she’s not tagged. But it’s just some girl he’s met at camp in Ulsan. What if she doesn’t lie anywhere around here, and they’ll break up soon over the distance!” I say, and the looks they give me are more frightened than agreeing. I sigh, because I realize that I sound actually pathetic.

 

“I should be happy, right? Literally jumping in joy that he was able to find someone he really liked, and she fortunately felt the same way… I should feel like that, but I don’t. And it feels dirty, grimey—I feel really guilty.”

 

“No, I know what you mean, Seri,” Taemi says and I soften at her fondly calling me my nickname again. “I’m just gonna cut the bull on this, just a warning, I’m not trying to offend you in any way.”

 

“Of course, go ahead,” I answer, and Taehyung eyes me and purses his lips, as we’re both unsure of what Taemi could say next.

 

“These are my thoughts: I think you’re getting jealous of how his romantic attention is no longer on you. It’s a normal feeling, you know, to be liked. So when you found out Jungkook isn’t interested anymore, switched on over to someone else, you’re kind of wondering what he saw in her that maybe wasn’t found in you. Right?”

 

“What the are you, a psychic?” I gawk at how pristinely accurate Taemi is reading my whole life.

 

She lets out a dry chuckle. “No, just a rom-com fanatic. I wouldn’t beat myself over it too much, it’s a normal feeling. Obviously, you were never going to date him anyways. You just liked the attention.”

 

“Right… right.” I awkwardly play with my fingers, the silver rings on each finger hitting each other, and the sound fills the dark, uncertain silence between the three of us.

 

“You do feel that way, don’t you?” Taehyung is the one that speaks this time. He hasn’t said anything yet, which I can understand, since this is more girl-talk than what he’s capable of.

 

“Actually… no. I think I like him. And with him now unavailable, it’s just now hitting me you know. That maybe I have liked him all this time.” I say, and I, myself, can’t believe what’s coming out of my mouth. What the am I spewing out right now? I feel that I’d rather want Jungkook single, fixated on me preferably, than be taken at all. Is that selfish? Is that ed up for me to admit?

 

“Oh,” Taehyung’s voice trails off. “Well, that complicates things.”

 

“I’m a ed up person, aren’t I?” I throw my face in my hands and sigh down to my criss-crossed legs. I slap my face a few times, and though I can’t see it, I can practically feel the twins glaring down at me like I’m some crazy person.

 

“No,” Taemi says simply. “You’re a girl—you’re a human—and you feel emotions. You’re free to feel.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, but what are you going to do?” Taehyung puts bluntly; he’s always been one to cut to the chase. I never remember him beating around the bush, even when we were younger. One time, I asked him what he thought of my Barbie-themed, rhinestoned bike, and he said, word for word, “You’re not Barbie, and you’ll never be. Your bike is fugly! FUG-LY!”

 

“What do you want to do, if that’s an easier question,” he continues.

 

“I feel like…,” I start. Seri, don’t say anything stupid and spontaneous—just because you feel like it. It’s just the heat of the moment. You need time to think this through, to process literally everything that’s occurred in the last hour. This isn’t a movie, this is your life. These are real people who are going to judge you for what you say and what you act upon.

 

“I feel like I want to get him back,” I finish.

 

Taehyung’s eyes are as wide as can be; I can hear the sound of a cherry dropping from his fingertips, popping off a few times on the roof, and then finally gone. Taemi gives me a look, her brows raised and a smirk slowly forming on her lips.

 

“Ohhhh, okay!” Taemi sings, and she playfully nudges me on my arm. “Go you, Seri! Good for you for knowing what you want.”

 

“Really?” I say, amazed, and go over my words again in my head. I said it, I really just said it. Maybe that’s how I’ve felt this whole time, and it’s a crystal clear answer as to why there was their weird, foreign sense of envy boiling in me.

 

Now that I’ve said it, I feel more liberated, I feel… like it’s easier to breathe? Perhaps this is it.

 

“Yeah,” I say aloud as an affirmation to myself. “Yeah, this is what I want. And I know for sure that this is what I want, because I feel confident saying it. I feel proud.”

 

“Alright, enough of your little speech,” Taehyung says, and it’s like an abrupt stop to my record of a monologue. “Now that that’s what you want, are you going to do it?”

 

“Uhm—uh,” I stammer, and I do that thing with my fingers again. I would be an absolute atrocious friend, I’d be labeled as a homewrecker, and this poor, innocent girl doesn’t even know my name, let alone aware of my grand plan: Operation: Get Him Back. “I… I’m not sure.”

 

“No, sis,” Taemi grabs me by my wrists, and I jolt at the surprising touch. “You are going to get that boy back. How long has he liked you, like 5 years?”

 

“8,” I say, and Taehyung whistles from beside me.

 

“8 YEARS,” Taemi repeats. “That’s even more of a reason that you need to reclaim him as your’s. You’ve stayed in his heart way too long for him to just throw it out the window for some chick he met for one summer.”

 

“Yeah, she’s just a random chick. I’m his best friend! I mean so much to him than she does!”

 

“Yes, say it louder!” Taemi screams, and I find myself repeating it to the barren neighborhood from below us. We laugh, perhaps a little bit too rowdy for the night before school starting, so Taehyung quickly hushes us.

 

“Okay, the whole neighborhood doesn’t need to know!” He scream-whispers to us, and we shut up immediately. “As much as I love this cute girl-power thing going on, which I’m all for—don’t get it twisted, it’s a teensy bit unfair to write this girl off as a random chick. She’s Jungkook’s girlfriend. Don’t you see the harm this could cause?”

 

“What if Jungkook got with this girl because he was desperate to get out of that 8 year friend zone?” Taemi points out, and I cringe. Yikes.

 

“That could be a possibility,” Taehyung concedes.

 

“You don’t know the backstory, none of us do. It’s just apparent to me, right now, that Seri needs to get Jungkook. And we’re gonna help her.”

 

“Huh?!” Both of us say simultaneously, and we shoot each other a quick look.

 

“This is what you want to do, but why do I sense that you’re scared to?” Taemi says. “If you want us to help, we’re here.”

 

“Uh, do I have a say in this?” Taehyung adds, and Taemi zips his mouth with a simple hand gesture.

 

“Taehyung can help in reading out Jungkook—whether that be in his relationship like if he’s happy or how he changes when you’re around. Guy things, you know?” Taemi suggests, and I’m oddly finding myself leaning into the conversation. My ears have perked up, and there’s tingles in my body—it’s excitement, I think. “I can be the biggest hype woman you’ve ever seen. Also, I guess it helps that I’ve been dating Henri for the past 3 years.”

 

“Holy , you guys are still together?” I ask in genuine amazement. Henri is a (gorgeous) baseball player at our school, and a really good one at that. Two hot athletes dating each other; the world always spun in the favor of the beautiful.

 

“Yeah,” Taemi winks at me, and I can see her cheeks getting a deeper shade of red. It’s cute and cheesy, but I can’t help but want that feeling too. “So what do you say? Are you gonna get back your man or not?”

 

“Yeah,” I answer, this time with conviction. “I am.”