Sehun took a step forward. Slowly. Closing the gap between them. Stopping only three steps before her. The entire time he held her gaze determinedly.

It glimmered in his eyes…something…

Everything surrounding them muted. Traffic. Birds chirping. The ocean crashing onto the shore. Earth’s repose jingling like bells syncing with the abnormal thud of her heart. Early spring transitioning into beautiful autumn. The entire universe becoming a shade of beautiful gold shining a burst of light on Sehun.

The thing unforeseen clouded the rest of the city. Pitter-patter went her heart. Fog at the corner of her eyes and all she saw was Oh Sehun.

Namjoo was in some daze. Incapable of reacting.

Sehun was sharp. More muscular. His edges had grown harder or maybe he was just fuller. Shoulders filling out his semi-casual uniform. Strangely, he did seem a little taller. He had combed his hair to the side leaving a half fringe. He smelled cedar wood nice. Definitely he was older and undeniably charming. Everything about him felt more pronounced.

Maybe it was the big cities that had done its magic on him.

That faint smile on his lips widened. Namjoo caught a hint of his nice white teeth, but it was the smile that made her feel different. “You got the note?”

Only then did she realize she was clutching onto it and Seulbi was still clinging onto her hand.

“Are you getting on?” The bus driver called out.

Namjoo turned to Mr. Go, but Sehun answered for her. “She’s not.”

“Well then, have a good day.” Mr. Go first eyed him then nodded toward them, a glint in his eyes winked knowingly at Namjoo. Embarrassment shifted through her, but could in fact not say it was not true. With the press of a button the door closed and Namjoo’s trip back to the school where her car was sitting left.

Namjoo finally fully landed back on earth. Swallowing stupefaction once the bus disappeared.

“That was cheap.” Namjoo told, but she really wanted to run away and check herself out in the mirror. Afraid something from lunch was stuck in her teeth. Were her clothes wrinkled from playing with the children? She probably smelled of their greasy hands, the scented markers used during art time, and their drool.

“What?” The corner of his smile coyly stretched up.

She held up the paper. “This.”

“But Seulbi drew it.” Sehun reminded. “Are you insulting my daughter?”

Namjoo slid her eyes down toward Seulbi. . She needed to watch what she was saying. Kids were way more observant than anyone expected. At a young age they were already becoming sensitive and at later stages in life could still vaguely recall things that had hurt them.

“N…no.” Namjoo stammered.

“Seulbi, you want ice cream?” Sehun turned to his daughter.

“Yea!” Seulbi nodded.

Sehun smiled. Looking at her he shrugged. “She wants to have ice cream with her teacher.” Back to his daughter, “Don’t you?”

Another glance and Seulbi stared up at her nodding. What a trick!

“Why? What’s wrong?” Sehun challenged when she did nothing. “Are you going to disappoint my daughter?”

Biting her lower lip, Namjoo thought long and hard. She could say no to Sehun, but she couldn’t do it to an innocent kid. That just made her feel like the worst human being on earth. As if she wasn’t already an for lying to Chaeri.

This just wasn’t fair.

“Fine.” Namjoo said. “Let’s go have ice cream.”

“You heard that, right?” Sehun asked Seulbi who giggled excitedly.

Namjoo could literally just collapse and lay down right here and now on the sidewalk. She lost. She lost!

Sehun waggled his fingers for Seulbi to hold his hand. The four-year-old reached out for him and Namjoo expected to be released, but Seulbi remained a clinger. A plight of uneasiness wafted over her as they crossed the street with Seulbi between them. Self-conscious this was not right. Namjoo wanted to hold up a sign to tell the rest of the world that she was no part of his family.

Except there was no sign. Just several birds and traffic billowing past once they made it to the other side. She hoped no one would recognize her. None of the teachers would be visiting the same ice cream place.

Once inside a shop, Seulbi let go of her. Running off to tiptoe, peeking into the display counter where buckets of ice cream were available.

“A rainbow, daddy!” Seulbi ecstatically shouted catching the smiles of various customers. The attention made Namjoo want to shy away, but Sehun pushed her forward.

A worker greeted them on the other side. Namjoo immediately wanted to say she was just visiting with father and daughter, nothing more or less.

“Are you a teacher?” The employee perked up noticing her cartoon cut apron. “We offer discounts for educators.”

“Huh?” Namjoo frowned. “You do?”

Touching Seulbi’s shoulder to show her off, Sehun cut in, “Yes, we’re together.”

Namjoo rolled her eyes his direction.

“You can get ten percent off your entire purchase. I just need to see an ID.” The employee explained. “What can I get for you today?”

Sehun smirked at her. Namjoo’s expression constricted unable to believe she was being played like this. Digging into the pocket of her apron she handed her school ID over. Once approved Sehun went right on to asking what Seulbi wanted.

“The rainbow!” Seulbi happily pointed to the nearly disappearing delicacy.

“You?” Sehun prompted. Namjoo stiffened. Turning right to the employee he asked, “You have butter pecan here?”

“Yes, we do.”

“Can we get two scoops in a bowl?” Sehun asked. “We’ll share.”

Namjoo stared at him bewildered.

Cheekily smiling, Sehun asked, “Why are you shocked? We used to share.”

“Are you insane?” Namjoo hissed being careful not to raise her voice.

“Why?” Sehun dubiously shrugged. That mischief shone in his eyes when the employee straightened with Seulbi’s rainbow cone. Saying loud and clear, “We’re family.” Accepting the cone, he handed it to Seulbi, “Don’t eat it yet.” Then he said, “Go find a table. I’ll be right over.”

Namjoo breathed exasperated, but Sehun already turned away. When she looked, she caught Seulbi sneakily her ice cream cone. Freezing when she noticed Namjoo.

“It’s ok. Don’t listen to your dad.” Namjoo assured. Touching the back of her head she led her forward. “Where should we sit?”

Seulbi walked beside her calmly. Namjoo expected an outburst of energy like the other kids in the classroom, but Sehun’s daughter remained absolutely quiet. Maybe she was shy around her.

Passing a red coated seat, Seulbi extended a hand patting a chair. “Here.”

“Ok.” Namjoo nodded.

“Miss Namjoo here.” Seulbi said.

Namjoo was the one pausing, her grip on the back of the chair on the opposite side. Seulbi waited, her hand planted on the cushion.

“Oh…ok then.” Letting go of the chair Namjoo took a step and moved toward her assigned chair. “Thanks.”

Seulbi toddled away and slid into the chair she’d earlier grabbed. Noticing the empty chair next to her Namjoo scoffed. She couldn’t believe this.

“Seulbi!” Sehun scolded arriving. His daughter jolted surprised, caught her ice cream cone. “I told you to wait.”

“I said it was ok.” Namjoo deepened her tone. Sliding into the seat next to her he set down the oval tray of two butter pecan flavored scoops of ice cream. Sehun glanced at her then Seulbi pouting sadly.

“Sorry.” He her head then cupped her cheek. “Eat your ice cream.”

Seulbi glanced at her father for affirmation then her then planted on the rainbow cone. Shooting Sehun a frown, Namjoo grabbed one of the plastic spoons sticking out the edge of the plate and took her bite.

“That one’s yours.” Sehun pointed his spoon to the chunk she was binging. She gave him a look. Merely grinning, he asked, “Good? It’s sweet. You like sweet.”

“You got your way, happy?” She quietly asked with a hint of bitterness.

“Why would I be happy if you’re angry?” Sehun asked. He made a show of smiling so hard his eyes grew tiny. “Tell me who made you upset and I’ll go after him.”

“Oh, will you?” She contested.

Raising a brow, he cocked his head with a shrug of his shoulder.

“Forget it,” Namjoo turned away, stuck a scoop of sweetness into . “He’s not worth my time.”

“Ow,” Sehun said, “well that hurts.”

He laughed when she didn’t react, but the moment she heard it a part of her welled up softly. She missed him laughing. Joking with her. The special way it enlightened her every time. These past four years she had wanted to hear it so much. Let his voice ring in her ears, remind her of good old days.

She glanced forward to find Seulbi watching them. The entire top half of her cone already diminished. Her timid eyes wavered to the side and she wondered whose idea it was to really draw that picture.

※※※※※

“Do you have money for a cab?” Sehun asked when they walked outside. He was ready to pull out his wallet, lend her some cash. For fun he might charge her interest if she was going to repay him.

“I can take a walk.” Namjoo said.

“Here.” Sehun took out his wallet, handed over a twenty.

“Forget it. I don’t need it.” Namjoo rejected his offer.

He tucked it into the pocket of her apron. “Take it. Get home safely.”

She stepped back surprised. “Sehun!”

He just grinned. “It’s fine. Just take it. A friend is helping a friend. We’re not total strangers, so don’t make it so awkward.”

Namjoo huffed. “I’m not paying you back.”

He shrugged.

She continued to look at him exasperated. Her entire expression gentled when she turned to Seulbi. Sehun watched the way she leaned forward with hands on her knees to be at Seulbi’s level, acting like they were equal companions. She was always good with children. And he thought again she should’ve been there when Seulbi was born.

“Bye Seulbi.” Namjoo softly said taking her pitch up a notch. “Thanks for the invite today. It was really nice of you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye bye Miss Namjoo.” Seulbi waved.

Namjoo offered his daughter the warmest possible smile. He got nothing before she turned to walk away. Taking Seulbi’s hand they crossed the street and started on the path home. Sehun peered over his shoulder to see Namjoo still walking down the block. A small smile played his lips. He was happy.

“High-five!” Sehun held out his palm.

Seulbi slammed her palm against his, jumping and spinning round and round.

“We did it!” Sehun shouted overjoyed. Lifting Seulbi up he swung her in a full circle, dropping her with a whoosh into his arms. Giggles bubbled through her tiny body as she hugged him.

“I do for you daddy.” Seulbi hugged him.

“Yes, you did. You smart girl,” he jiggled her in his arms, listening to her roar of laughter.

“Miss Namjoo no mad?” Seulbi leaned back in his arm to look at him.

“No, I don’t think she is.” Sehun assured.

“I draw again?” Seulbi wondered.

“I’m not sure that will work again.” he said. “But if you want to, I can get you more paper.”

“Mmmm…” Seulbi debated. “K!” Jumping in his arms, she said, “I halp daddy!”

He laughed happily pecking her chubby cheek.

“What are you going to do next, little chunker?” he wondered.

“I make Miss Namjoo happy.” Seulbi declared.

“Will you?”

“Then daddy happy!” Seulbi exclaimed throwing her arms out.

Seulbi skittered off when he let her down at the front door. He found her papers and her box of crayons. As she settled down to work, Sehun went into the kitchen to prepare dinner.

He was pleased. He didn’t mean to use Seulbi, but Namjoo melted for children and he had a daughter. He couldn’t pretend Seulbi didn’t exist while trying to make up everything to her. He was adamant on luring her back to his side. In the process Seulbi had to be included. Sehun wasn’t just one, but two now.

Namjoo would love her. Deep down he instinctively knew Namjoo would do everything to make Seulbi’s life perfect. She would put his daughter before him even, and that was why he knew he couldn’t give up.

“Daddy?” Seulbi called out.

“Yea?” he turned around to find her staring at him.

“How I write?” she asked.

When he put her on the bus the following morning, Sehun wondered what might await him at the end of the day. Getting into his car he drove to work. Arriving punctually, waving to the woman at the reception desk, and headed straight for the break room.

Someone was already inside. Pouring coffee into the cheap paper cups stacked to the side. The stock was already depleting. At the rate coffee was inhaled he worried if the coffee jar would empty by early afternoon.

Stepping up to the counter, Sehun helped himself to a cup and grabbed the handle of the coffee pot. The dark liquid had already passed below the half line mark.

Slightly leaning forward, the tall man, Park Chanyeol, greeted, “Oh Sehun.”

Sehun turned to look at him then at the lanyard with a picture of him and his name and department. “Yes, good morning.”

Chanyeol smiled. “Just got in?”

“Just a coffee run,” Sehun replied. “It’s going to be a long day.”

And he really hoped Namjoo would be a part of it later. It would be nice seeing her after catching up on all that strenuous paperwork. She would really make his day better.

“You’re new to the town?” Chanyeol asked.

“I actually grew up here.” Sehun explained. “Just moved back.”

Chanyeol nodded. “I was thinking if you were new, I could show you around. There are a lot of great hot spots. And the beach is very pretty.”

“That’s a nice offer, but I’m ok.” Sehun said.

“But if you’re up to making a new friend,” Chanyeol offered, “I’m free most evenings. I work from home a lot, and I have a girlfriend who’d be able to get along well with your daughter so it won’t be awkward, you know, with two men.”

Sehun didn’t know what to say.

Never minding him, Chanyeol went on, “She’s not really my girlfriend, we just spend some time together here and then.” He clucked his tongue with a wink hinting to Sehun the truth behind his words. “She’s really good.”

Chanyeol haughtily laughed, enjoying himself. Sehun stared a little uncomfortable. “Oh…yea, that’s nice.”

He may have joked around, too when he was younger, but with a close female friend like Namjoo Sehun had known better. He respected her too much to speak about any woman in a careless manner. Although he may have been trivial with Haewon, the thought of Namjoo made him regret every moment.

At thirty he would have crossed the length to her. Pull her into the Catholic church she always eyed and say, “We can do this here and now.”

But he didn’t because impulses stopped him from thinking straight.

As if forgetting the private information just dropped, Chanyeol freely repeated in a friendly manner, “Dinner, man?”

“What?” Sehun asked.

“It’ll be fun. Your daughter will love my girl.” Chanyeol patted him on the arm. “Friday?”

“Uh…well…I’m not sure.” Sehun stuttered.

Finishing his part, Chanyeol patted his arm. “Friday.” Lifting his cup of coffee, he snarkily smirked as he passed.

Sehun blinked not sure what just happened.

Finding his desk, Sehun sat down; the paper cup at the edge of his desk. His memory whirled regrettably and he wasn’t as chirpy as he was this morning. The playboy tone in Chanyeol’s voice slithered around in his head, mockingly.

Reminding him of the worst he’d been. When he rode the bus alone out of Goseong. Encountering doll face Haewon. If Namjoo was modest, Haewon was provocative. She showed off everything from skinny tops to the shortest shorts. She was beautiful and y in appearance. The girl in his darkest dreams.

Sehun had had to take a long walk around the earth to relearn that beauty came from within. Coming to terms with the fact he was unbelievably stupid. Realizing he always had the best. He shouldn’t have gotten sidetracked. Travel? Acceptable. Turning his back on Namjoo? He was a deviant.

Four years later would Namjoo still be able to see him in the same light?

At the end of the day when he watched the bus roll up, his troubles lingered. Namjoo stepped off the bus clutching another piece of paper. Sehun’s eyes flickered down to her hand. Seeing the beige pants, the black quarter length sleeved sweater she was wearing. Namjoo always being simplistic. That was just her. Always mumbling whenever she had to dress up, because she was uncomfortable the similar way when she started becoming a woman and needed his sweater to cover up.

But she was the most beautiful thing he had seen. He didn’t have the courage to treat her how he treated and acted toward Haewon. Because he always loved her.

Sehun always wanted to be the best in Namjoo’s eyes.

But he had done wrong.

***😢