His hazy eyes were fixed on the half-empty vodka glass sitting alone on the big dining table, faithfully accompanying his heartache among the gloom of the dimmed lights. He already lost count of how many times he let out heavy sighs, or choked cry, or weakly wiped the stubborn tears rolling down his flushed cheeks. He wished the booze would help him tonight just like how it always did when he needed a break from all the burdens crushing him. But it was as if his old friend had turned its back to him, or he simply had no energy to even escape. He could not bring himself to gulp down that liquor like what he had planned he would. His fingertips were freezing, unable to move. Fear overpowered the need to forget everything. He was afraid Heechul would leave him when he was not himself. He was afraid that he would up one more time. 

"I'm s-sorry," he suddenly said into thin air, throat already clogged from the undulating agony. He wiped his tears with his sleeves but it was like running under the rain, they kept pouring. He was drenched under his fear, immense sorry for causing all of Heechul's pain. And he had nowhere to go because Heechul was not here with him. 

"I'm sorry, Chul. I'm— I don't know what to do. I'm sorry for bringing you to this catastrophe... I'm sorry I hurt you."

Leaning forward to ease the heaviness inside his chest, he accidentally knocked the liquor bottle until it was smashed, shattering all over the place, making the place reeks. And the loud smash was like the last straw that triggered all of the pent-up emotions bottled inside him. He lost himself as he screamed on top of his lungs, howling like a wolf whose mate died from an attack he failed to prevent. He grabbed the glass in front of him and gently let it slip off his grip and roll down the table, causing another loud noise. It was better—he fisted his hair—it was way better than all the silence he had to bear these past few days. He was so clueless; he had no idea how to get out of this mess. He wished any sound could lead him to crawl his way out. 

But of his cluelessness, someone finally found a light. He might be enjoying his heartbreak way too much that he did not notice another heartbroken soul standing feet apart behind him, watching his heartbreaking meltdown. He might love the pain too much that he had no idea someone was fighting another fierce battle within himself whether he should ease the pain or just watch and silently share the anguish. 

Yet, Heechul was still there, staring blankly at the insanity before his eyes. Had he not gone out intending to go to the bathroom, he would have never witnessed what could actually save him. He just magically stopped on his track, clutching the nearby drawer for dear life when the vodka bottle tossed a while ago, followed by a scream that was too loud but was needed. The scream that told him everything words failed to convey; tickled his ears like it was the flattery Jungsoo always said to him. And he was still standing there, looking at someone who was hurting, blaming himself for none other than his fault. His husband bravely shielded his body from his own mistake and it only pushed him over the edge. At the end of the day, Jungsoo and his angels were the ones who saved him; it was never the other way around. 

"Please don't give up on us— Don't give up on me. I," Jungsoo stopped and so did Heechul's heartbeat. 

"I need you, Chul. I really need you. I can't do it alone. I need—" 

THUD

Jungsoo snapped his head to his back that it cracked a few bones as his eyes dilated instantly upon seeing Heechul almost stumbled if not for the drawer and the fell vase on the floor. He rushed to help his husband and the second he held Heechul, the latter immediately clung to him, way tighter than he had ever done. 

«────── « ⋅♥⋅ » ──────»

"You're still warm. Are you feeling sick? Do you want me to get you a glass of warm water?" 

Jungsoo almost vomited his words as he carefully placed a pillow under Heechul's shoulder, helping his husband to get comfortable leaning against the headboard. He checked Heechul's temperature once again, touching the latter's forehead, and quickly made up his mind to grab anything he could find that he believed could lessen the physical pain Heechul was bearing. 

But perhaps he was too ahead of himself; perhaps his worries took over him. He was not aware of the lingering stare Heechul had on him until he finally realized when his husband suddenly grabbed his arm as he was about to climb down the bed. 

It was the first time Heechul held him after days of cold shoulders and silence—days of ignoring the growing pains inside him. The mere touch sent electricity all over his body that he could not even hide the goosebumps. It was the touch he missed so much, he could not lie. He gulped and dropped his stare at the hand clutching his arm. 

"I'm sorry," Heechul whispered, eyes already teary looking at nothing in particular. Pupils shaking, he had no courage to look at Jungsoo and shamelessly asked his husband to