Jungsoo almost cursed as his tear duct betrayed him the moment he heard Hyukjae's shaky voice. He did not want to spill more tears but it was his kids they were talking about. He had never been more grateful when Hyukjae did not question him earlier as he brought Heechul to their bedroom. The boy just quietly observed and did his job to keep his brother company. But apparently, his trial was over. He needed to face the fact that he would always be the one to explain why such misery happened in his, his kids, and even Heechul's life. 

He glanced sideways and he immediately shifted his eyes back at the ceiling because looking at their terrified, innocent faces scratched a deep, deep ugly wound. He could not bear to shove another pain inside his already full-of-anguish heart. He held his mother's hand and wordlessly asked her to aid him. 

"Ah, Hyukjae, Donghae. Come here," the grandmother tried to sound as gentle as possible albeit whatever she was going to say was a harsh reality. The boys warily walked closer and unlike Donghae who looked confused, Mrs. Han almost lost herself crying when she noticed how composed Hyukjae was. It was not the poise a boy around his age should have. It was as if the little boy was ready to bear whatever pain he was about to get. He—she quickly wiped her tears—reminded her of someone, of the boy who was so collected even when he narrated the most tear-jerking story of his life as if the latter was numb. 

Hyukjae reminded him of Heechul. 

"Have you done eating the lunch Grandma brought?" 

Donghae nodded and Hyukjae was just cautiously looking at his father. When he woke up this morning and saw his uncle Kyuhyun sleeping in the living room, his parents all missing, he knew he had to prepare himself. The trauma lasted longer than he expected that he had to face another painful thing rivaling what hurt him the day his father told him his Mommy left them. 

Speaking of which. 

"Where's Mommy?" 

Donghae suddenly asked, unexpectedly throwing the arrow at everyone in the room. Mrs. Park dilated her eyes as she unconsciously looked at Mrs. Han for help. She was not ready to explain this matter, not when she herself had ever witnessed how shattered her grandsons were back then after their parents got divorced. 

"Mommy... She has been a little naughty," Mrs. Han immediately picked the role, explaining as calmly as she could. But Donghae only stared at her with his big eyes. 

"Let me ask a question," she smiled sadly.

"When Donghae does something bad, what happens?" 

"Daddy or Maw ask me to sit to the wall."

"Right, you're being disciplined, right?"

"Disciplined?" Donghae parroted the new word. Mrs. Han only smiled as her eyes accidentally landed on the older brother. 

"Yes, so you can be better. It's the same, Hae. Mommy is being disciplined now."

Mrs. Han had to avert her eyes as soon as she met eyes with Hyukjae. The way Hyukjae stared at her made it very obvious that the boy understood more than what she explained. But again, she forced a tight smile as she reached out to hold Hyukjae's hand, trying to give the little boy the abundance strength she wished God grant them. And when she thought her part had ended, Donghae was yet to drop the topic. The little boy quietly looked around and whispered, "Mommy leave us again?" 

The adults must be having the same thought as they observed how nonchalant Donghae, expressionlessly grabbing his car toy and playing with it after he acknowledged the fact that his parent might be leaving them again. Jungsoo did not know whether he should be happy or to be feeling the worst that even his younger son could be this unbothered by the absence of his mother. His sons—he muffled his cry—must have gone through a lot. 

But unlike how people in the living room were perplexed by Donghae's indifference, what sounded to the man who had been halting on his way to the bathroom was like a painful cry of an innocent son asking for his mother. Heechul had to lean his body on the wall when he accidentally overheard what they were talking about and his last defense tumbled down when Donghae finally asked that question. The question that slapped him in the face of the fact that what Nara said might be, if not was indeed, true—that he confidently acclaimed himself for saving this family while truth was, he was the rotten piece. 

I only hurt them. How dare do I think I wanna save them?—was the last thing that crossed his mind before he dropped to the ground, leaving all thoughts and let the heaviness took over. 

«────── « ⋅♥⋅ » ──────»

The door creaked open albeit Jungsoo cautiously trying not to make any sound. He gulped and peeked inside only to find his husband curling his body on the bed, the very sight that always managed to tighten his chest. He took a lungful air and entered the room whose lights were dimmed although he was fully aware Heechul was still awake. Assuring himself that Heechul might want to talk to him now, he wordlessly climbed on the bed and settled to sit, leaning on the headboard, eyes never leaving his husband. He was about to gently caress Heechul's head, offering the best comfort he dared to, given the difficult situation. But he should have known better—

"Leave me alone."

—Heechul became like this was thanks to him. The latter's cynical remark overdid him; those three words—he stared at his sad raised hand—were enough to knock down his courage. Those three words were enough to send his assumptions wilder and wilder, creating a gruesome gambling guess as to why Heechul finally pushed him away. And he hoped it was not what he was afraid of. 

"But Hee—" 

"I wanna be alone."

He hoped it was not because Heechul was tired of being with him. He swallowed a hard lum