The girls ran into the hospital, heart beating in their chests as soon as Irene got the call, Hyejoo walking behind them trying to seem as calm as possible as they moved through the white hallways. Reaching the front desk as the girls clobbered over it, all shouting over eachother as they begged her to see you through tears and croaky voices, “Girls!”

They stopped, Hyejoo walking up to the desk while they moved back, “Kim Y/N was admitted to the emergency room, we got the call at 4:15…” The nurse nodded, looking through the system to find your whereabouts while the girls paced around, Irene and Wendy leaning against the wall quietly while Sooyoung bit on her nails, Seulgi holding her head in her hands trying to calm down while Yeri kept wiping her tears, trying to make them stop but to no avail.

“She’s been deemed stable but is still unconscious…” “Are we allowed to see her?” “Are any of you family members?” “Uh no but-” “Then I’m sorry-” Irene slammed her hand down on the desk, a fire in her eyes, “We’re her family.” The nurse was taken aback, the pure anger Irene felt being reflected in her eyes as she glared down at the nurse, “I’ll see what I can do…”

She bowed, walking away from them making the oldest girl sigh, Hyejoo rubbing her back to help her calm down, “She’s stable… it’s alright now…”

The nurse came back soon enough, nodding at them before leading the way to your room, already out of the ICU, “Like I said, she’s comatose right now but you can still talk to her… only two people at a time please…” They nodded at her, each sharing a look as they debated who would go first, “Irene and Yeri…”

Both girls nodded, slowly moving towards the door that separated you from them before opening it with a clink.

They both froze, Irene’s heart dropping at the sight of you before her knees gave in, immediately falling onto the floor while zoning out, her mind whirring with thoughts before the faint feeling of Yeri’s arms wrapping around her processed in her mind, the girl holding onto her tightly while Irene couldn’t move her eyes off of you.

You looked blissful for once, eyes closed but as her eyes shifted down, she could see how your skin had paled, a sickly beige colour, lips completely dry as they cracked at the surface, veins very visible, running through underneath thin skin, connected to IV drips and machines, hair still damp as it splayed on the bed.

“Unnie she’s alive…”

You were, but did you wanna be?

Was it her fault?

Did she not take care of you enough?

Did she not check up on you?

“Come on, she’s fine. She’s just sleeping…”

Yeri giggled, dragging the older girl next to your bed as they sat down on the chairs next to it, “See? Yah Y/N/N… you can wake up now idiot. Look at how you’re making Hyun-unnie sad… this isn’t funny …” Irene stared at Yeri, watching her eyes tear up, “Y/N… Y/N please wake up…”

Her face cracked, a pained frown on her face before tears finally fell, holding your hand tightly as she held it to her face, gone was the familiar heat they would all use when they were cold, the beeping of your heart faint, “Unnie she’s not waking up…”

Irene smiled softly, pulling Yeri close to her as she caressed her hair, “It’ll be ok Yerimmie… she’ll wake up soon…” Yeri whimpered, nodding to Irene’s words, “Let’s give the girls a chance to see her now… hmm?” She nodded again, wiping her tears as they moved towards the hallway.

They went in pairs, Seulgi and Wendy, and Sooyoung and Hyejoo.

Everyone was silent, waiting for Hyejoo to come back while sitting down on the chairs set up outside, all stoic after seeing your state, mind still in shock, the five of them staring at the wall blankly, each facing a turmoil of emotions to the point where they couldn’t even let them show anymore.

Anger, sadness, insecurity, self-hostility, fear, shame, guilt.

All these feelings building up until it clicked it Yeri’s head… this was how you felt 24/7…

This feeling of numbness, pushing yourself to the limit as distraction, keeping a smile on your face because you didn’t know what else to do, constantly working, constantly making sure everyone else was fine to have some sort of self-gratification to assure yourself that you weren’t completely useless, constantly battling your own thoughts with no answer to come, you against yourself every second of every minute of every hour of every day with no sense of relief.

Hyejoo walked back, catching their attention as she handed them water bottles, all of them barefaced in pajamas, messy hair with swollen eyes and puffy cheeks, “I just got done talking to the doctor…” She squatted down in front of them, letting out a sigh, “So… she was found in the river underneath Mapo Bridge. There was a witness there and he said she swallowed a bunch of pills before jumping… luckily he was on a bike ride through the area and saw her fall so he called an ambulance and got her here… They got the water out of her lungs first and then pumped her stomach so she’s still very vulnerable right now but the doctors are saying she reached stability and she should be awake in a few days… he also found bruises on her knees and a big one on her back but I’m not sure where the second one is from. You guys are allowed to see her as groups now and they say since she’s comatose she might be able to hear you too.”

Irene swallowed the lump in , already having an idea of where the bruise came from but keeping it to herself, deciding to nod to Hyejoo, “Does anyone know about this..?” “No videos have been sent online yet so it seems like we might be able to slip this under the rug but at the same time we’re not sure, we might have to wait a few hours.” “What about the man that saved her?” “He was taking a shower here or something but he should be out soon… he had jumped too when he saw her falling after calling the ambulance… I asked the nurse to bring him to us, do you girls wanna talk to him?”

They nodded, Hyejoo sending them a smile as she sat up, patting Sooyoung on her knee before walking away.

Irene let out a sigh, standing up to roll her shoulders, “Atleast we’ll know she’ll wake up, ok… Everything’s gonna be fine girls…” They stared at her, hope building up in them after hearing her words, “Exactly. We’ll get to hear her annoying voice soon, right unnie?” Irene smiled softly at Yeri, nodding her head.

Hyejoo came back after a few minutes had passed, a man in his early twenties by her side as he brushed his wet hair with his hands, all the girls stood up quickly, bowing to him as he smiled, “Hello, we are Red Velvet.” They immediately fell into their stage personas, soft commercial smiles on their faces while standing in a row, he bowed back, awkwardly smiling at them, “My name’s Min-jun, I’m a fan…” Irene spoke up, thanking him, “If you aren’t in a rush would you mind answering a few of our questions?”

He checked his watch, nodding to them, “I’ll have to leave soon for work but ask away.”

They all moved to the cafeteria, the girls on one side while he sat across from them, “So… we wanted to know what exactly happened? As in… could you just tell us what was happening in the moment?” He nodded at Wendy’s question, thinking for a second before clearing his throat, “Well I was just on my usual bike ride, I was crossing Mapo Bridge, almost at the end until I saw her. I was going to ask for a picture but she looked like she was on the phone so I was just waiting there from a distance. I guess she didn’t see me but I saw her take these pills out from her bag and take a bunch of them before she climbed over… and… well jumped… I have a video if you want.”

He pulled out his phone excitedly, Irene immediately raising her brows before going back to her resting face, suspicion growing in her as he turned his phone to them, all of them freezing as it showed you climbing over the railings before you fell out of frame, a splash being heard before the video cut.

“I also have the ambulance video…” He swiped on his phone, turning it back to them without warning as it showed you being rolled away, all of their hearts dropping as the sirens blared in the background, medics screaming, your body lifeless and skin gone paper white from the cold water, hair completely wet as they moved it away from your face.

Irene cleared , nodding at him, “I think we’ve seen enough…” He put his phone back in his pocket, Sooyoung glaring at him as the feeling of wanting to beat him senseless filled her, not sure if he was completely oblivious to how ed up his actions were or just ed up in general.

“Do you mind deleting those please?” His eyes widened, a lost look at Sooyoung’s request as he scratched his head, “I mean… I kinda wanted to tell my friends how I saved a kpop idol… and they’ll ask for proof.”

Her eye twitched, letting out a hum as she put her hands on the table, “Well did you save her to actually help or to tell people about it?” “I mean ofcourse she should be saved and… Well I’m a fan so I do care about her but it would be cool to tell people about it… I mean why would she even kill herself? She’s rich and surrounded by pretty people like you girls…”

Their faces fell, all of them imagining how they would torture him as he spoke so carelessly about you, even though you had been open about your battle with depression for a few years now. Irene cleared , calling Hyejoo who was sat at another table, “Unnie… he seems to have videos of Y/N during the… incident…” She nodded slowly, understanding what she meant as she looked at everyone’s murderous glances, “Min-jun right?” He nodded, an idiotic smile on his face as Hyejoo held a small one herself, “How much for those videos?” “What do you mean?” “As in… what’s the price for those videos?”

“Ahh…” He chuckled a bit, shaking his head, “I mean… as long as I can show some of my friends I’ll delete them after.” The girls internally groaned, what was it with this man and his friends?

“See we rather not let anyone know of this… so like I said before, what’s your price?”

He sighed, checking his watch, “I have to head to work now, maybe I could get one of your numbers? Irene Noona?” She grew uncomfortable as he smiled at her, Seulgi and Wendy unconsciously moving in front of her as she leaned back into the couch, “You can have my number.” Hyejoo smiled, gripping his shoulder making him nod as he stood up.

She led him away, sending a look to the girls before smiling back at him as they continued to talk.

 Sooyoung clenched the water bottle in her hands, Wendy rubbing her shoulder before leaning on her, “He’s a man, what do you expect?” They giggled bit, rolling their eyes, “Come on, we’ll get some breakfast then head back to her room…” All of them shuffled, following Irene’s orders as they moved to get food from the cafeteria.

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Jungkook woke up, ruffling his hair as he moved through the dorm, stretching his arms, getting done with his morning routine as all the guys slowly woke up. His eyes stopped at the door, or rather the floor right in front of the door, papers with their names scattered laying there, “HYUNG!” All the boys replied, Jungkook growing weary, “There’s papers on the floor!” “So pick them up?!” “They’re not ours!”

Namjoon walked out of his room, rubbing his eyes before stopping next to Jungkook, the boy pointing at the papers making him grow serious, sharing the same thought as they believed it was a saesang, “Everyone! Living room now!”

The boys slowly moved towards the main room while Joon moved to pick up the papers, his brows furrowed, tongue poking the inside of his cheek, “Were we meant to get letters?” They shook their heads, Yoongi half-asleep as he raised his hand lazily, “Show it to me…” Namjoon handed him the papers, scratching his head while Yoongi’s eyes scanned the writing, “Y/N sent them idiots.” “How do you know?” “It’s her writing…” Upon closer look, the boy’s leaned in, rapline and Jungkook seeing the similarities as he let out a little “oh.”

Yoongi handed them the letters, each one getting the papers labelled with their name, “We can read these later, we have to leave soon…” They nodded at their leader, moving back into their rooms to finish getting dressed.

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It was around six in the evening as the girls got home, shuffling into the house after shooting a part of their music video, tired from the constant cameras surrounding them, their track burned into their brain at this point after the countless replays.

They flopped down onto the couch, groaning together as their muscles relaxed against the soft couches, Jisoo shaking her head as she dropped her bag on the sofa, the papers on the coffee table catching her attention.

She leaned down to pick them up, “Guys did Do-Kyung oppa drop us fan letters?” Lisa shook her head, cuddling into a pillow, “Why what’s up?” Jisoo sighed, handing them the papers with their names on it before opening up her own, eyes freezing after the first sentence.

She took them back, pulling out her phone to quickly dial Seulgi, catching everyone’s attention as they saw worry cross Jisoo’s features, knowing she was trying to remain calm but the tears pooling in her eyes wasn’t missed by them, “Unnie what’s going on?” “Wait.”

They grew quiet, slowly sitting up as the eldest paced around the room, biting her nail as the dial-tone rang.

“Hello?” “Seulgi unnie Where are you?”

Seulgi peered around the room, everyone on their phones making her stand up and walk outside the room, “We’re all at the hospital…” “Is she ok?” “How do you know?” “We all just got back home and found goodbye letters from her…” Seulgi let out a sigh holding her temples in her head, “The doctor said she’ll be fine, she’s just in a coma right now but… I don’t know he said that she’ll be up in a few days…” She could hear Jisoo sigh on the other hand, moving to lean against the wall, “We’re at the hospital and probably gonna spend the night here too I think. She’s fine so don’t worry, we just have to wait right now…” “Ok, I’ll see if the girls are fine and tell you if we’re coming…” “Don’t stress, we’ll be here for a while… I’ll send you the location in case.” “Ok thank you, everything will be fine…” “Yeah I hope so, see you soon…”

Seulgi cut the call, heading back in and catching everyone’s attention, “Who was that?” “Jisoo called.” Wendy sat up, concern on her features, “Is everything alright?” “Y/N supposedly left goodbye letters at their place…” Irene quickly called Taehyung, confusing everyone, “If she left it for them, she definitely left it for the boys…”

Taehyung grew confused, Jimin, Namjoon and Yoongi turning to him as he picked up the call, “Yeah noona?” “Have you guys gotten any letters or something today?” He thought for a second, humming before the morning’s events ran through his head, “Oh- yeah. We all got letters with our names on it in the morning but we haven’t read them yet… why?” He could hear her sigh over the phone, growing worried, “Is everything fine?” “Can you guys come to the hospital now?” “Why? Is everything ok?!” “Can you come? It’s easier to explain in person.” “Fine we’re on our way.” She sent him the location after cutting the call, Taehyung yelling out to catch their driver’s attention, telling him new directions before calling Jin in the car behind him to explain the new location.

“What’s going on?” “Hyun noona called me and told me to meet her at some hospital…” Namjoon grew quiet, trying to figure out the new situation as the driver turned the car around, thankfully being close to the new location.

Yoongi stayed silent, already knowing where this was going but refusing to accept it, his heart slowly sinking at the thought.

The boys quickly moved inside, Irene waiting at the front desk for them, “What’s going on?” Yoongi was at the brink of the breakdown, everyone seeing right through the calm façade he was trying so hard to put up, “She-” “Is she fine?” Irene bit her lip, tears pricking at her tired eyes, “She tried killing herself…”

Everyone’s eyes were focused on Yoongi, all of them holding in their emotions for him, knowing he was the closest to you, they saw the way his eyes fell slightly, his hand still shaking, his throat bobbing as he croaked out the same words, “Is she fine…?”

“I’ll lead you to her-” “Is she fine!” “I DON’T KNOW!” The boys flinched at Irene’s shout, her eyes red and puffy from all the crying, hair a mess as she glared at Yoongi.

Jin cleared his throat, stepping between the two, “Noona can you please take us to her room?” He squeezed her shoulder in a comforting manner, offering a small smile as she nodded, moving towards the hallways. They moved in silence, Jin keeping Yoongi close to him as they reached the outside of your hospital room.

“She’s through there…”Irene nodded her head at it the door, a small window showing the inside, Yeri sitting on a chair right beside you, asleep while grasping onto your hand, Sooyoung sleeping on Wendy’s shoulder while Seulgi was scrolling through her phone quietly. Namjoon pressed down on the knob, pushing it open slowly catching some of your members’ attention. They immediately bowed to eachother, greeting with respect as some of them got up. Irene walked towards Yeri, shaking the girl awake, “Is she up yet?” Yeri shot up, still being half asleep before she looked around, her mood diminishing quickly as Irene rubbed her back, “Let’s just give the guys sometime alone with her…”

She nodded, Irene leading her out of the room as she shuffled outside, “We’ll be at the cafeteria…” Hoseok nodded at her, sending a small smile her way before she closed the door and left the seven boys with you.

Jungkook was standing the farthest away, his brain still not processing everything as he stared emotionlessly at you, Yoongi’s eyes immediately tearing up as he took hesitant steps towards you, sitting down where Yeri was.

“How about we give you some space…” Yoongi nodded, not taking his eyes off of you as Jin and Namjoon led the boys outside.

He sat back after being left alone, taking a deep breath as he stared at your unmoving body, does he talk to you? Does he say his final goodbye? Does he just catch up with you? Does he just sit there like he had been for the past few minutes?

He called out your name, hoping for some sort of reaction, internally knowing nothing was going to change but he still had that little tiniest bit of hope that maybe after hearing him call you, you would wake up and greet him with that same stupid smile of yours that he had seen for almost all of his life, probably with a stupid question on the tip of your tongue or getting ready to annoy him to no end.

He smiled at the memories, grasping your cold hand in his, a chuckle escaping his lips before a pained smile grew on his face. “Y/N-ah…” His throat was burning, trying to croak out words in hopes that you would hear them, “I take my eye off of you for one second and this is what you do, you idiot… you have to help me produce new songs… who else is gonna help me when I’m stuck?” He imagined you teasing him about how he was crying like you usually did, right before you would wrap your arms around him tightly. Those simple hugs that would make anyone’s worries vanish and make them feel just the slightest bit of peace.

“You promised you’d stay with me till the end… ” He sniffled, rubbing his eyes and nose with his sleeve before continuing, “And I know you don’t break your promises… so wake up soon and then we can have as many studio sessions as you want… Whatever you want ok? I’ll even sing…” He held your hand between his carefully, almost like it was made out of glass. His eyes drew up your arms, staring at the drip attached, biting his lips before he felt himself shake. Emotions finally forcing their way out of him as a choked out sob left his lips, his head falling onto of your hand as he gripped it tightly, body shuddering as he cried loudly, wailing out your name, pleading for you to wake up.

The boys could hear his cries, tearing up as they leaned on the wall outside, Taehyung was wiping his eyes, Jimin standing next to him while trying to put up a tough front for his friend, pulling him close into a hug as he let it out. Jungkook was biting his lip, holding his hand to his eye as he tried to stop the tears from flowing, Namjoon smiled softly at the boy as he ruffled his hair, his own tears threatening to flow down his cheeks, meanwhile Jin and Hoseok were trying to figure out a way to cheer them up in some way, all of them shuffling into a group hug.

Jin let out a choked chuckle, patting Jimin and Hoseok on their backs as the boys started to cry freely, “It’ll be ok… she’ll come back to us soon, she just needed some time to rest…”

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Chaeyoung just felt numb, mind running a mile a minute but empty at the same time, her heart beating rapidly but completely still as soon as Jisoo told them what had happened.

They stared at her with concerned faces, watching her get off the phone before she turned to them, taking a deep breathe, “Uhmm… so Y/N is fine but…” Chaeyoung felt her heart stop as soon as your name was mentioned, her lip trembling, all of them on the edge of their seats, “She’s at the hospital right now… Seulgi unnie said they’re gonna stay the night in her room…”

They grew quiet, Jennie interrupting the silence after a few minutes as she cleared , “What happened?” Jisoo bit her lip, swallowing the lump in , “She tried… she tried committing…”

The words almost echoed in her ears, Chaeyoung could feel her heart stop, life draining away from her eyes as her body fell limp, denial battling against reality in her mind as she fell back, her eyes zoning out, the only thing in her vision being you. Not noticing how Lisa smiled awkwardly, the girl immediately shaking her head before taking out her phone, “You’re lying.” “Li