SinB P.O.V. 

    Kim Yewon, you were my best friend. We basically grew up together. Being an only child was far from easy. Yet, we overcome the risk of loneliness thanks to each other. Our respective parents became good friends with each other. It was easy when we were neighbors living next to each other. 

We made a pact and said forever 

We made the best childhood memories a kid could ever dream of. We had more pictures together than with our respective families. I fear to say that word now but it is kinda true that were sisters like. 

We went to school together then walk together back home. We went on vacation. We celebrated every birthday. We gave each other sweet gifts. We went through that dark moments that are those teenage years. During this particular time, we make our parents put up with our most crazy crisis. We were seeking together for our own identities. We then attended high school with a more mature state of mind. Of course, we sometimes fought but we managed to make through every hardship. At least until we turned into eighteen. Becoming adult was the start of a new phase. We discovered taboos. 

Then we blurred the line so much, we lost our way 

There is a party organized by a girl called Sowon from the university - a party I would never forget. Our parents weren’t against attending it only if we went there together. We both know however, that we would have attending it no matter what they say. We are adults now, aren’t we. It was a first for us as the high school parties we knew were the one at home with parents monitoring everything in the shadow. Innocent as the girls we were, we never expected such sinful atmosphere. In fact, bottles of alcohol welcomed us even before the party host. You reassured me by saying that it was cool. I was rather worried: being the oldest of us two I guessed I unconsciously remain on my guards. I know I was annoyingly too serious but I couldn’t help it. There was too much suspicious people. You wanted us to make new friends and so part in different ways but I didn’t want to lose sight of you. You got angry at me and as a result everyone labelled me as the goody-goody one. I couldn’t care less. Yet, Yerin interfered and reassured me. She convinced me to let you alone. So I did. I said nothing when you started to drink glasses of alcohol. I closed my eyes on the fact that you tasted that smoking substance whose the mere smell made me dizzy. You then presented me to your new friends Eunha and Yuju while I only got to know Yerin. Sowon then persuaded us to drink more so that we could play a game. I really didn’t want to participate but at the same time I didn’t want you to got angry at me. So I drank that bottle down. The taste was unfamiliar as it was the first time but I already knew that it was too strong. Yet, it was too late when I realized it. 

Everyone was tipsy but I was drunk. It is unfair how sober you were compared to me while I am sure you drank more. Sowon started the game « truth or dare ». I don’t remember any of it - except from that part. That dare which changed our lives forever. 

« Hwang Eunbi, I dare you to kiss Yewon. » - Yuju challenged me and everyone was smirking at her for coming up with such a good idea. 

Even though I was drunk, that dare made me sober within second. I looked at you as I was scared. I didn’t want to play that game anymore. I wanted to lose. I wanted to flee. I wanted to come home. Because I knew that the moment we will accomplish that twisted dare, nothing will ever be like before. Everything we have built - Our strong platonic bond - Our friendship will be ruined. 

But we did blurred those lines and not because of me. You did. You approached me confidently like it was a piece of cake. As if that kiss was meaningless despite being our first. We stole each other first kiss in a futile game we wouldn’t even remember.

Except that I did. You may not remember clearly but I just couldn’t forget the cherry taste of your lips. The strong liquor tasted only good when it was coming from your breath. You kissed me with a  fake passion that made it almost real. Indeed it was too good to be true. 

The moment you broke the kiss - because I was too frozen to react - the harsh reality claimed that it was game over. 

I caught sight of disgust on some faces. Other were enjoying it a little bit too much. 

Yuju was clapping and everyone was praising you for your bold move - even Sowon’s cousin Jimin. I despised the look he was giving you as if you were his next prey. Yet, you proved me that you could be the true predator by winking at him. All I was wishing inside was for alcohol to be the only culprit of your sudden and strange loose morals.

Hopefully Yerin was here to keep an eye on me. I remembered her get a little bit touchy by taking my hand. She confessed that there was nothing strange with two girls kissing. I don’t know why she said that. She took her example and revealed that if she had to kiss someone it would only be girls. Why was she trying to reassure me? Have I act like shocked or disgusted? I also recalled that from the moment she took my hand, she never let it go. 

We were broken and stuck together 

We were both facing the aftermath of that kiss. You didn’t remember it well contrary to me. You said that it was just a game and that we shouldn’t really think about it. Yet, we both unconsciously changed  as if we both knew the truth: it was impossible to turn a blind eye to it. From then, we were trapped in an infinite cycle of lies. We lied to our parents about the party. We lied to the other students about our past. And finally we lied to ourselves. We didn’t have a choice but to live with it. It was hard for me as I couldn’t come up in terms with my feelings during our kiss. I felt strange sensations but at the same time appealing ones. 

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter