Say Ok - 2jung

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Eunha P.O.V. 

 

Eunha you can do it … you can pretend to be cool … you can for once be confident … I know you can. 

 

Those were my thoughts while I was looking at the mirror in my bedroom. I sighed because at the moment I looked down at my hands, they were shaking. As if they knew the truth. I was none of these. I wasn’t cool, I looked dumb, I wasn’t confident, I was a coward. And I was so shy. How I hate it whenever my face got red because of a little bit of attention. How I hate how my voice would shake in front of everyone. I hate myself. There is nothing likable about me. But I guess everyone pity me and that’s why I still manage to be part of the popular girls of the school. Well I am rather a ghost in it - but at least I am part of it. At least I do exist somewhere even though I might not belong to it. 

 

In the group, I am the youngest. There is Kim Sowon the oldest one and model - everyone fear but also secretly worship. There is Park Sooyoung the one who brings joy - everyone adore her. There is Oh Hayoung the smart and calm one - everyone listen carefully to her. And there is you … Jung Yerin. 

I just can’t describe you. There is so much to say about you. I just can’t allow myself to think about all the things that you do because that would make my heart even more flutter. It took me months to admit it but now I can finally acknowledge - only in my head though: I am in love with you. 


Yet you’re just the opposite of what I am. You’re cool, confident and fearless. The only thing we have in common is our hair. Well mine is curly and mid-length while yours straight and long but still we shared the same color. Not that I am complaining, I am more than happy with the nickname you got for us: the blonde duo. 


I got a message in the group chat referring to the bar we had planned to go to in thirty minutes. I took a deep breath before leaving my room. I was living alone in a student residence with other students but no one from the group. Sowon was living in her home since she lived in the city. As for you and the other two, you lived together in an apartment you rented before knowing us - since you’ve known each others for a long time. 

 

I took the bus and finally got there. Sowon was already there.

 

« Hey Eunha » 

 

I replied with a small voice but at least it wasn’t shaken. Then you arrived. Saying hello to Hayoung and Sooyoung wasn’t a problem. However with you, it was always a challenge. Especially when you were just too pretty in that dress. I also wore one and you noticed it right away.

 

« Hello you, oh we match like some couples clothes. » - You joked while hugging me warmly. I couldn’t return the hug as I was frozen - just like always. 

 

Of course you’re used to my reaction and you don’t even notice my shaken hands. Your warm eye smile is enough for me to forget about the surrounding. 

 

We sat around the table and ordered drinks. We talked about the university gossips and then Sooyoung asked her favorite question:

 

« An update is needed about the love situation. So Sowon how is it with your boyfriend? »

 

« It is great, we’re planning on going on vacations together. » - Sowon proudly responded and Sooyoung had stars in her eyes. 

 

« That’s great. What about you Hayoung. »

 

« Well I already told you but yeah you know the guy working at the cafe … he asked for my phone number ….

 

« And you gave him, right? » - Sooyoung cut her.

 

« Yes I did and you should already know it as I told you before. » 

 

« Yeah yeah … great! And you Yerin? » 

 

Whenever that question comes up for you. I always feel worried and uneasy. It is as stressing as an exam. Even worse. That’s also why I am always blaming myself for always postponing my confession. You can do it Eunha. You will do it soon.  Unless you already has someone:

 

« Well I don’t have anyone. » 

 

I sighed of relief. Hopefully Sooyoung’s reaction was bigger than mine.

 

« Common Jung Yerin! Since middle school you haven’t had a boyfriend. Yet, there are so many guys at your door. Why don’t you just say yes to one of them? I know you don’t want to go with a stranger but we are all strangers at first. So take the leap and try! »

 

« Yeah I will eventually. » - You retorted with a nonchalant tone. 

 

I thought Sooyoung forgot about me - and I am  glad that she did. Yet, Sowon didn’t:

 

« And you Eunha, has someone caught your eyes? »

 

« Ohhh … I ….  no ….» - I was struggling because suddenly you Jung Yerin landed your eyes on me. You were so focused on me and weirdly your eyes were tensed. 

 

« Do you even love boys? » - Sooyoung asked me and my face got so red. 

 

« I don’t think she does. » - Hayoung concluded. 

 

« So you’re into girls?! » - Sooyoung had that surprise look on her face and something else - I couldn’t tell whether it was disgust. The worse part was that I couldn’t even deny it.

 

The atmosphere got so awkward. Hopefully, you broke the silence:

« Why don’t you all dance while I wait here for the drinks? »

 

Everyone left in a second while I stayed unmoved. I didn’t know what to do and it was now too late to react. You already landed your eyes on me. I looked down ashamed of what you may think about me now that I was alleged to like girls. 

 

You stood up and took my hand. 

 

« Let’s have drink. » - You warmly smiled at me. 

 

I didn’t know if you were acting nicely because you pity me or for some other reasons. I would never complaint though. I let you take me and I hope you didn’t mind my trembling body and red face. You ordered us drinks.

 

« Relax Eunha, we will have fun and forget about the rest, alright? » 

 

I didn’t respond.

 

« Eunha please say something. If you’re in, Say Ok. » 

 

« Ok » - For once I could utter something without sounding like a fool. Maybe it was the short  length of the word. Then it was the perfect answer. I even managed to fool myself with that confident tone. 

 

You smiled and I followed you: I drank. Alcohol may be bad but it did me wonder as I was talking without any restraint. You managed to get me comfortable. You weren’t drinking that much - probably because you would get drunk easily. You had that elbow on the bar table and your body was turning towards me. You were listening to every word I was saying. 

 

The problem was that I don’t recall what I said. I might have said things I shouldn’t have. I only know that at some point I started crying:

 

« I’m so shy … I hate myself. » - I revealed to you. 

 

Anyone could have taken advantage of my wasted state. Yet, you didn’t and you kept everything I told you secret. I don’t know why. 

 

You put your fingers on my wet cheeks and wiped the tears that were rolling down my face. That is just so embarrassing now that I think about it. 

 

« It is alright Eunha. Let them out. » 

 

It is the first time I broke down in public. I am not the type to show my emotions. I must have appeared weak. I feel bad to know that you saw this side of me. I didn’t want you to pity me. I shouldn’t have revealed all my securities. You were somehow the one who pushed me to that edge with all those drinks. Were your intentions pure or evil? 

 

Then you went to see the girls who were still dancing and singing. You came back within seconds and took my hand again. You led me towards the exit and that’s how I understood that you were taking me home. 

I really don’t remember much - and it is a pity. I just know that your hand never left mine until I got in my room. Once there, you did stay and helped me get ready to go to bed. It was the first time you got here and I felt ashamed now. As I know how untidy I am unlike you. My room was a mess but still you stayed with me until I fell asleep. I am sure you were singing me a lullaby. 

 

The next days things got very strange. For instance, you called me the very next day. 

 

« Hello Eunha, how are you? » 

 

Maybe it was because we were on the phone that I could manage to speak without stuttering:

 

« I am well … » 

 

« You sure? I thought you would have a bad hangover after last night. Well, that’s great then. I am not worried anymore. » 

 

I was shocked. First of all, you … you were worried

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Comments

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BlooRin #1
Chapter 33: Thanks for your story Buddy Riri, you work so hard every year.
Mystyc #2
Chapter 33: still here for your ud. thank you for not forgetting about your annual Christmas umb story! I love the way you structured it. thank you author-nim!
genhornify
#3
Chapter 33: Thank you for the update! Really appreciate this sweet short 😊 Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you author-nim
Sowon071995 #4
Chapter 29: Why i cant see the update of this chapter why like that..
Only0t6 #5
Chapter 32: Long time no see ay? This is sooooo good. I like how the dark brotherhood was based on the kpop industry. I like dandelion. I like how it represented him. Well just like the others i treasured the 98line's friendship. Bin is truly a special one. I didn't stan him but i liked him. Very much. Anyways how are you bud? You doing fine? I hope so. I am happy to see you back.
Eion00
#6
Chapter 32: ohmyy!!! 😭 thank you so much for such a wonderful story. I just watched their radio guesting yesterday, again. I really treasure their friendship and 4/19 was such a heartache I don't know I'd ever heal from. didn't even realize until then how much they have influenced my life and my happiness... Moonbin will always be the Moon, the Sun and a star. I'm really so devastated but your story is such a warm reminder of the person Bin was and indeed the harsh truth of kpop.
shrexy
#7
oh wow this is really interesting
genhornify
#8
Chapter 31: This Oneshot is very touching. Thank you for sharing...
BlooRin #9
Chapter 28: Hi Buddy, you’re very welcome but its all you. The story is absolutely amazing, you’re still the best writer on here. Love 2jung and love the song too.

Peace
enidccf
#10
Chapter 28: This story just touch my heart and you are indeed one of my favourite author! Yerin’s character in this story is unique in my eyes.. She like Eunha for so long and the time she notice something not right with her she took the first step to approach her and try to bring back the previous Eunha back to life. I love it how she told Eunha that she always look into Eunha’s Iris to see how she is doing. Iris doesn’t lie and it shows the real us no matter how we put on our face mask. I’m happy that Eunha finally realise her own feeling towards Yerin and both of them are being supportive and healing together.
Authornim, I’m glad that you have overcome your downtime and being motivated to write again. For your next story, it doesn’t matter which genre or which pairing, I will still read it. Just do whatever you feel like it. Take care & stay healthy always. ^^