---

 

 

午前零時飛び出した

扉をけっとばして

硝子の靴が割れて

ドレスも破れた。

 

『At midnight, I took off

I kicked down the door

Cracking my glass slipper

And tearing my dress 』

 

“—Yah, newbie!” The heart-shaped cheetah print earbuds are yanked out of a startled Sana’s pierced ears. Gasping, her rhinestone manicured fingers bundle up the pink wires as her boss’ angry face fills her glittery contact lenses. Pulled from the glitzy world of Tommy february6 and macaron laced daydreams, the Tokyo native is back in the salt-and-pepper panels of present time; the heavy scent of charred chicken skewers and fragrant rice wine wafts through the bustling late-night izakaya. Chatty groups of tipsy business majors huddle over okonomiyaki-speckled grills, while stylishly unkempt adults obsess over failed relationships and celebrity gossip at the 18-seat cocktail bar.

 

“Sensei ☆ You scared me! ” Raspberry snow blankets her mellifluous words as she pockets her mp3 player in her stained apron. “Don’t you know I’m a delicate flower?”

 

“How many times are you gonna keep calling me sensei?” The tomato faced elder grumbles, stuffing a wet rag in her palm. “Get to work!”

 

“Be~cause, you’re like a life teacher to Sana and we’re from the same hometown!” She whines petulantly, exchanging the rag for the compact mirror in her apron pocket. “Isn’t my hair a little flat today? Ah, and can’t we get a cuter staff uniform? Please??”

 

“I swear college dropouts are useless these days!” Next, he forces a tray of bottled Asahi beers and edamame in her reluctant hands. “Bring this to that table over there or I’ll fire you!”

 

“Yessir!” She mocks salute at her grimacing commander who only mumbles colorful expletives beneath his breath and stomps off into the hectic kitchen. Her eye smile aimlessly shifts to a rowdy table crowded with all sorts of characters; a bedroom-eyed 20-something-year-old bombshell who puffs on a skinny cigarette, a loudly laughing woman who has a slender frame — she must be a dancer, Sana theorizes — slings her arm around her guy friend’s shoulders who motherly pours water in everyone’s glasses, and the broad shoulders of the fourth person whose back is turned towards her. Sana notices the blonde first, with her picturesque avant-garde appearance that looks like it came alive off a glossy, high-fashion magazine cover. She’s so pretty, air vacuums from Sana’s lungs witnessing such otherworldly beauty. It’s been a while since she seen such gorgeous people after being academically dismissed — in her opinion, she dropped out, but who cares —  from Bunka Fashion College. Inferiority coats her skin in a thin veil of cold sweat.

 

So she quickly re-applies her favorite angel cake flavored lipgloss that’s pink and sparkly — desperate times call for desperate measures—, and moves through the white noise commotion like a ballerina, ribbons and curls flying in her orange hair.

 

“Free service!” She sing-songs, signaling their shōchū-fuelled attention.

 

“Oh, I think this is a mistake. We didn’t order this,” The seemingly mother hen of the group says.

 

“Relax, Tae!” The crimson-cheeked dancer (?) gleefully welcomes the drinks with open arms. “She said it’s on the house!”

 

“Let me help you with that,” The other guy whose face was hidden turns around and her heart stops.

 

He’s hot.

 

“T-Thank-you,” She’s all timid and fairy dust as his dimpled smile resurrects her flatline. She believed her last boyfriend (that stupid jerk) was the iest guy in Tokyo, but this guy must be the prince of Seoul. Cherry blossoms hues her milky cheeks as she shyly smiles under his warm gaze. “I . . Is there anything else I can get for you guys?”

 

“A strawberry milkshake,” The reticent blondie smirks dryly without sparing a glance. Sana swears she’s seen her in Vogue.

 

“Are you crazy?” The Tae person exclaims while the other two laugh along.

 

“Strawberry milkshake?” Sana parrots quizzically.

 

The blonde’s pupils slowly drift up to study her own nails in flaunting boredom. “It’s a joke.”

 

She’s a breathing Calvin Klein ad in loose jeans and a black moto jacket. Sana envies how she radiates sultry starlight and mysterious shadows without even trying. Total girl crush!!

 

“I want a double cheeseburger,” The moon-faced blonde continues lazily.

 

“They don’t have that here!” Tae chastises.

 

“Large fries?”

 

“Nope!”

 

“McFlurry?”

 

“Yah, Kim Nayeon—”

 

“Um, I think there’s a McDonalds around the corner,” Sana giggles at the unbothered blonde supernova and her increasingly weary friend.

 

“Don’t mind her,” The handsome brunette cuts in, his baritone voice a hammer wielding cracks on the dreamsicle redhead’s sugar glass heart. “We’ll have another round of beers please.”

 

Dazzled, a blushing Sana nods obediently and scurries off. She’ll gladly get him all the beer he wants! Even the amazingly pretty  blonde woman — Sana wants to buy out every McDonalds if that’ll guarantee their friendship. Low-key, she envies that group of friends and how they’re able to share a meal together. During high school, her parents used to drive her to get strawberry shortcake and lavendar hot chocolate after tennis lessons and SAT prep. Her mother used to go all out and cook splendid dinners of grilled seabass with garden vegetables, white wine steamed mussels, and crown roast of pork. She can’t remember the last time she ate with someone else and it rubs caramelized salt painfully into her gaping heart.  Oh no, I might die from loneliness. . . A boyfriend wouldn’t be so bad though. I always cherished my high school friends, but whenever I got into a relationship I also did my best to get pampered. Even now I want to be spoiled. . .

 

Usually diamonds, classical ballet, fluffy choux pastries, silky lingerie, expensive perfumes, and boys decorates Sana’s mind. She just wants a city life full of intimacy, excitement, and romance. Also, a lover so enamored with her that his heart hurts when he thinks of her wouldn’t be so bad. Her heart desires to be in Paris studying art and eating cake out of Prada newspapers. And hopefully she’ll get street casted to be a model in a Chanel fashion show. She’ll only take payments in bouquets and free clothes, and wear shimmery dresses that swirl around her like mermaid tears. On a beautiful night like this she should be sipping bubbly champagne while overlooking the Eiffel tower. Usually, these are her daily scenarios but for now. . . She’s content fantasizing the royally handsome customer with mesmerizing dimples.

 

 

Sana has a nighttime routine less glamorous than others. It consists of piling on a full face of luxurious makeup, squeezing into the tiniest credit card rented designer outfits, dancing all night long at the hottest clubs in Hongdae and Itaewon, then drunkenly stumbling into the nearest restaurant and ordering the full menu. One night, it’s a fusion spot that sells kimchi tacos and cheesy nachos, then clumsily squirting ketchup on her Miu Miu ballet flats at an old-fashioned hamburger and ice-cream joint the next night.

 

It happens every time without fail.

 

One moonlight showered Friday, Sana sparkles like a pink champagne through the night as she drags her lifeless and fabulous body to a greasy spoon diner a block away from the latest club opening. She sleepily falls off a barstool after cramming down cheese fries, onion rings, pork chops, club sandwiches, sunny side up eggs, buttermilk pancakes, hash browns, chicken fried steak, mixed fruit, cobb salad, coffee, and blueberry pie. Her head thunking against the shiny tiles invokes audible gasps and traveling murmurs amongst the onlooking midnight crawlers at their respective booths.

 

“Hey, hey!” Firm hands violently shake her limp shoulders. “Come to your senses! Wake up!”

 

Sana’s dazed eyes fly open. “At the end of every night, the cheesecake and the apple pie are always completely gone. The peach cobbler and the chocolate mousse cake are nearly finished. But there’s always a whole blueberry pie left untouched. There’s nothing wrong with the blueberry pie, it’s just people make other choices. You can’t blame the blueberry pie; it’s just. . . no one wants it.”

 

And just like that, she slips back into unconsciousness.

 

 

Hungry and confused, Sana wakes up in her crystal-embellished mini dress on a scratchy hospital bed. Her artificial olive eyes scan the sterile white ceilings, bleached wall, i.v monitor attached to her wrist, then the ridiculously hot stranger dozing off at her bedside.

 

Wait a sec. . . Upon closer look, it’s the same dimpled cutie from the izakaya the other week.

 

Am I dreaming??

 

“Oh,” His droopy eyelids flutter open as she tiredly sits up. “You’re finally up? You must be startled, my name is Jaehyun. And you must be. .?”

 

“Minatozaki Sana!” Her excited gaze widens, saccharin eyes filling with starry specks of sugar. She adores his dandy blazer, burgundy turtleneck, and ritzy wristwatch. Even his name is good-looking, she’s really living that anime protagonist life she always wanted. “I moved here from Japan about six months ago, so my Korean is a little awkward but it’s so nice to see you again!”

 

Jaehyun furrows his brows. “Again?”

 

“But, what happened to me?” Releasing a yawn, she coquettishly stretches her limbs like a boudoir kitten. 

 

“Well, you nearly ate our diner outta house and home. You also quoted My Blueberry Nights then fell into a food induced coma.”

 

“You know that movie!?” Shining stars practically shoot from Sana’s eye sockets. The film may not be Wong Kar-wai’s greatest feats, but she still loves that movie nonetheless. It’s way up there with Notting Hill and Breakfast at Tiffany’s on her list.

 

“Nah, I looked it up,” Jaehyun hides his sheepish grin behind his closed fist.

 

Oh. Sana gives him an E for effort anyways.

 

“Do you need anything?” Concern laces his tone. “Should I ask the nurse to get you some medicine or water?”

 

“I could use some chocolate martinis,” Sana sniffles, ruffling her tousled orange-golden locks reminiscent of marmalade skies. “Or a glass of rosé.”

 

Bewildered, he blinks owlishly. “Are you sure you’re okay? I mean. . . Is passing out at diners a normal occurrence for you? Isn’t there anyone waiting for you back home?”

 

Home, huh? Home is a myth.

 

“Well. . ,” Sana trails off hesitantly as she averts her gaze and stares down at the stiff hospital sheets. The coffee she drank earlier churns in her stomach.

 

Jaehyun exhales. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. I’ll call you a taxi so let’s go—”

 

“I don’t have parents,” She confesses with a sad smile. “They passed away in a car crash. You don’t have to worry or feel sorry for me, it’s just. . . I really miss our family dinners. Ever since their funeral, I always ate alone. I never realized how scary and sad it was to have a meal at the kitchen table without hearing their laughter and stories — especially in that big and empty house. One time it hit me how I’d never taste my mom’s cooking again and I panicked. I packed all my bags and bought a plane ticket to Seoul in the middle of the night. I thought I’d escape the loneliness, but even here I’m always so hungry. Still, I’m too scared to eat in my room by myself. I start hyperventilating and can’t sleep because of nightmares. So, I go out and get drunk and eat in busy places.” She grins widely, and it causes Jaehyun’s heart to fragment a bit. “Starving and lonely— the story of my life.”

 

A flair of grief flickers in Jaehyun’s subdued gaze. “That’s. . That’s a lot. I’m sorry to hear—”

 

“I’m fine! I’m not damaged goods!” Sana forms a big X with her arms to ward off unwanted pity and apologies. “I mean. . . Yeah, it set me back a bit. I don’t even know what I want to do with my life anymore. Before, I wanted to be a fashion designer but making clothes was harder than I expected. I thought about becoming a nail artist but I’m so clumsy and not creative at all. Right now, I’m trying to save money to study in Europe but sometimes I want to give up. I wouldn’t mind becoming a housewife and depending on my rich husband.”

 

The sudden transition in subjects whiplashes Jaehyun but he goes along with it. “Would you be satisfied with only that?”

 

“Why not? I don’t have strong desires to do any physical labor or hard work. I also want to raise adorable kids and shop till I drop. After the horrible things I’ve been through, I just want to take it easy and walk on a flower road. Isn’t it normal for someone like me to resent hardships? I was a sheltered child who grew up receiving lots of love. But now, I have no one to love me.”

 

“There are hardships in married life.”

 

“I’ll leave that up to the me in the future who’s a model housewife!” Sana chirps brightly.

 

Jaehyun scoffs. “Would you get married right now?”

 

“Totally.”

 

“Even to a stranger?”

 

“As long as he’s cute and has money.”

 

Jaehyun hums and scratches his chin thoughtfully. “I don’t know about marriage, but would you like to have dinner with me sometime?”

 

Jackpot!! Sana clears and plays it cool. “Depends. What are your goals?”

 

He chuckles as if laughing at himself. “I may work at a rundown diner, but I’m a senior at Yonsei.”

 

Sana gasps, pupils dilating. “Why are you working if you attend such a prestigious university?”

 

“Life experience,” Jaehyun shrugs. “But, I do have some pretty outlandish career dreams. I’d like to become a celebrity math instructor, and appearing on Jeopardy! would be nice.”

 

“Wow, that is pretty ambitious,” Sana’s weakness is definitely math. She always scored a F on her calculus exams, so yeah, Jaehyun is extremely impressive. “You must be super smart. I didn’t think you were such a nerd.”

 

“I’m nerdy, huh?” His eyes upturn in moon crescent as he fully grins. He’s so irresistibly lovely she wishes she could fix him onto her keychain.

 

“Well, just very smart! You’re amazing. I mean — I definitely want to have dinner with you!”

 

Jaehyun laughingly shakes his head. “You’re too silly. C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

 

 

Nearly two weeks pass since Sana last hears from Jaehyun.

 

Was I being played? The poor fashionista sighs as she flips open her Docomo Fujitsu F-06D for the nth time today.

 

0 calls, 0 texts.

 

Maybe I should order takeout? Pouting, she contemplates splurging on jjajangmyeon with honey fried chicken as she surveys her peeling egg shell-walled matchbox studio. Sure it boasts a huge walk-in closet and dirt cheap rent, but it is ugly. And the poor air circulation and dim lighting is lame. However, she makes up for it by putting up crystal beaded curtains, wavy mirrors, holographic butterfly stickers, and retro-futuristic decor; lip telephones, disco ball, and rhinestone framed movie posters of D.E.B.S., Clueless, and Mean Girls. She sulks across her pink furry rug and plops down onto her cow print bedding. Staying in is a waste, should I just wear my new Manolo Blahniks and go out for sushi? Maybe there’s a new club I could flirt with the bartender for complimentary cocktails? Ugh, but I’m almost out of beauty lotion and cleansing cream. I gotta score more samples at the department store and use my charm on them to get my makeup done for free—

 

—『“Lonely in Gorgeous” Yeah

Party night, I’m breaking my heart 』

 

“Jaehyun!?” Sana snaps open her flip phone so fast she almost breaks it.

 

“Are you busy right now?” She hears him grinning through the static line above the thunderous beating of her erratic heart. Tears sequin her stinging eyes.

 

“N-No! I’m free!” Her aura is glowy white, snowflake-shaped kisses, and whipped marshmallows. 

 

“Fantastic. Wanna meet up?”

 

She’s glad he can’t see her crying. She’s a moth on a flame, wings dancing happily in the fire.

 

“I would love to!”

 

 

Between a dream and fantasia, Sana shows up in a disheveled state of windswept auburn hair, bubblegum blush dusting her cheeks, and a graffiti-sprayed leather jacket falling off the shoulders of her tulle gala dress. She resembles a cupcake so much, Jaehyun can’t help but adoringly chuckle in return.

 

“Come in, then.”

 

Jaehyun has a glamorous hotel suite with a twinkling city light view of the Seoul nightline, a fully stocked mini bar, and a gleaming turquoise pool. The walls are gilded and floors carpeted in crushed velvet, everything screams money and Sana swears it’s the most magical place she’s ever stepped into her entire life.

 

“Ribeye ♡ and pasta, too!?” Sana celebrates ecstatically at the lavish room service laid out in the grandiose dining area. Each dish more artfully sculpted then the next, plated in the finest china. She claps excitedly spotting the strawberry champagne on ice and heart-shaped gateau au chocolat. I really feel like a fairytale heroine now!! “Is this heaven? I feel like I only had ramyun these past two weeks!”

 

“You’re kidding,” Wryly smiling, Jaehyun pours the bubbly alcohol in both their champagne flutes. 

 

“Shin ramyun, Ottogi ramyun, Neoguri ramyun—”

 

Jaehyun laughs out loud. “Isn’t that a lot of MSG?”

 

“If I have to choose between dinner and new shoes, I choose shoes!”

 

He reels in disbelief as their glasses clink in a toast, only for his jaw to drop stupendously as she eagerly double-forks blue crab spaghetti and saffron risotto onto her gold-rimmed plate. He barely gets to cut a piece of steak for her before she attacks the truffle sauce smothered lobster Bolognese. “Christmas is next month and you already went over budget?”

 

“I had to!” Sana defends passionately, puffy cheeks full of food. “This person online was selling her Christian Dior slingback pumps! The ones with the Swarovski safety pin! Do you know how rare it is to come by Galliano era Dior shoes!?”

 

“Well, you’ve really done it this time. Guess you’ll be working extra shifts at the izakaya, huh?”

 

“No way, I’m going to quit!”

 

Jaehyun’s lips brace in a teasing smirk. “You found an acceptable marriage partner?”

 

“Ugh. Not even close,” She chomps off a morsel of delicious steak. “Say. . . Do you wanna marry me?”

 

“No.” Comes his tidily neat reply.

 

Her Cupid arrowed heart deflates. “Why not? I’ll even buy you a diamond ring!”

 

“Really? How big?”

 

“Bigger than my heart!”

 

“How can I measure that?” Jaehyun laughs again, blooming a beautiful melody in her eardrums. Honestly, those heart-fluttering sounds spoil her rotten enough. She can’t deny it, even though it’s incredibly foolish to feel this way already. I’m completely head over heels for him. I might even love—

 

“I’m seeing someone,” He tosses out, all cherry wine lips and tenderness pouring from his smiling crescent eyes. How is it possible? He’s sweeter than Moët and chocolate-covered strawberries, but the way he suddenly draws a line is sharper than a razor gashing a throat. He’s aurora lights — beautiful in passing, but never meant to be attained.

 

So mean.

 

Champagne glitters against the floor of Sana’s scattered thoughts as she self-consciously fidgets with her pearl necklace. “Then why are you eating expensive steak in a fancy hotel here with me?”

 

“So you won’t die of loneliness.” He jokes but it’s pulling her from the endless darkness within herself. Everything she thinks, he manages to say. Jaehyun, it’s like you know me better than myself. All the worries I kept down, you just sweep them away and rescue me before I even realize it. How can I let you go now? I don’t want to be just friends. Not with you.

 

“Well,” Reluctantly, a cheery smile disguises her crestfallen expression. “Thanks to you I get to live as a princess even if it’s for one night.”

 

A breezy air surrounds Jaehyun as if he’s sunbathing somewhere on a white sand beach, every minuscule action he does drips a hedonistic dreaminess. Even the slightest sliver of a grin he produces threatens asphyxiation. His charm comes too slyly like a thief in the night. Forget forehead kisses, back hugs, holding hands, and eye contact. If she can eat all her meals at the red table of his heart, she’ll be forever in paradise.

 

I want to eat him. I want to sink my teeth into him and devour him whole.

 

He answers with an elusive smile.

 

Venus cries tonight.

 

 

monday 11:48 AM

jaehyun 💙💍💘: i won’t be able to hang out tonight.

jaehyun 💙💍💘: sorry.

 

tuesday 19:00 PM

jaehyun 💙💍💘: can you cancel the reservations?

jaehyun 💙💍💘: something came up

jaehyun 💙💍💘: let’s do dinner tomorrow night.

 

wednesday 13:33 PM

jaehyun 💙💍💘: can’t make it. don’t wait for me.

 

 

yesterday 20:02 PM

jaehyun 💙💍💘: i saw that you called.

jaehyun 💙💍💘: is it important?

 

 

“Oh no, a stalker appeared!” Is the first thing Jaehyun exclaims when he spots a blue belted miniskirt and powder pink-and-white Dior moonboots clothed Sana in the back alley of his diner. It’s the half hour break of his midnight shift, and she’s been waiting in the vicious cold to catch a glimpse of him since she got off at the izakaya early. 

 

Ticked, Sana wants to smack that toothy, boy-next-door grin off his smug face.

 

“Is that all you have to say to me?” She huffs, hugging her opalescent Baby Phat puffer closer to herself. “Nothing else?”

 

“Not really,” He admits around the half-bent Marlboro in his mouth. 

 

“You’re totally ghosting me, aren’t you?” Sana confronts him, decaying at the edges like wilted petals.

 

Jaehyun encloses in the way of a heart locket. Secretively. “Sana-yah, aren’t you coming off a bit strong?”

 

Furiously blushing, she shakes her head. “Don’t avoid my question and change the subject.”

 

“I’m not avoiding —just evading,” He dares chuckle as he leisurely kills his cigarette in his deli of water. He really is the knife she’s turning inside herself. “I’m not really interested in juggling two women. I’ve done it in high school just for fun, but now I’m focused. I have goals and deadlines now, another emotionally unstable person will only burden me. I can’t support you and worry about myself at the same time.”

 

“I’m not asking you to support—”

 

“You want a life partner to provide for you, no?” He points out with a raised brow. “I can tell you have a crush on me — don’t. Seriously, a bad guy like me will make you suffer more and hate all men. My girl can’t even handle me now the way I am. You’re kinder and softer, so it’ll tempt me to push you over even more.”

 

“Don’t judge me when you know nothing about me!” Sana cries out; iced out highlighter glistening on frostbitten cheeks like pearlescent icing on sugar cookies, and wronged expression similar to a vulnerable Bambi caught in headlights. “I’m not some pushover crybaby! I told you I’m not fragile! I’m cute! And I can play basketball in stilettos, and. . and. . I-I can eat a whole wedding cake by myself and I’m addicted to buying things I can’t afford!” Sana knows she’s giving unreasonable and selfish and despicable. But he’s sand, and he’s slipping through her fingers. Happiness is slipping through my grasp. I can’t back down, I’ll go all the way there. With no regrets. “To you, these probably sound like undesirable qualities and I know I’m acting immature, but. . You don’t have to view me romantically or as a potential girlfriend, you don’t even have to love me more than your current girlfriend. I don’t care if I’m being shameless, just please don’t tally me off completely.”

 

The murderously simple fact is she’s mutilated without him. All the candy, lipgloss, Sanrio plushies, and perfume in the world won’t satisfy her if he’s not in her arms.

 

“If you hurt me I’ll ruin your life,” She hurriedly continues, voice rushing out in spiked gumdrops and starbursts deforming him to the point of blood and guts and pleasure. Let them eat cake, she compels him to starve for love. Work for it. And Jaehyun just— digs it.  “And if you ever make me cry I’ll curse you forever. I’ll never watch Jeopardy!, and if you become famous I’ll spread nasty rumors about you online.”

 

“Blackmail?” An involuntary laughter rips from Jaehyun’s tar-coated lungs as he cards a hand through his deep brown hair. Stepping closer, he slightly tilts his head as he plays with a lock of her honeyed hair, twisting it like a promise ring around his fingers. All the dulcet gentleness of constellations, flowers, and poetry settles in her trembling bottom lip, clenched fist, and ruddy cheeks. He sighs as if both bothered and smitten. “You’re crying now, though. Are you going to start cursing me?”

 

“Knock it off,” She repeatedly hits her pastel rose La Pafait ruffled heart-bowed clutch against his chest as he pulls his arm around her for a hug. She evaporates as quickly as she protests weakly in his embrace, breathing in his heady tobacco vanille scent. The universe is too unfair. If only she met him earlier, if only she claimed him first. If only, if only, if only. Sea foam recedes in her chest once the sorrow deeply rooted in her heart becomes overcome by gluttony. She goes from being the fairytale’s princess to the villain. Is this my true happy ending? I can’t even think straight anymore. A part of her is thankful her parents aren’t alive to see her being so undignified. As a child, she hated the clingy vixens in dramas who coveted other women’s men. Of course, she’s apologetic to Jaehyun’s mystery lover, but that doesn’t mask the gleam of hope in her doe eyes as he lifts her chin and kisses her dizzy.

 

“You’re insane,” His breath is hot against her lips, smoky midnight pupils dragging her in. “Do you really want to stand in line waiting for your heart to be broken?”

 

The villain of my own story. . ? Okay, I’ll be the bad guy too.

 

Sana kisses his rosebud mouth over and over again and confirms quietly, “Yes.”

 

 

Sana really adapts to the role of the mistress well. Mother, please forgive me. Please, please forgive me.

 

Jaehyun doesn’t necessarily take her out on dates anywhere, but holes her up in the extravagant hotel suite like a forlorn princess prancing about in her golden castle. She consoles the lonely times he’s not around by shopping on the net for beautiful clothes, drinking pinot noir in the pool, and ordering room service; towering tiers of ornamental desserts always, caviar sandwiches and pommes frites for lunch, and ice buckets of the finest champagne brut that tastes like summer in a bottle.

 

Expectedly, every fairytail has its wake up call. It happens one night after they’re done soaking in the hot tub. The aroma of sparkling sugar plum and snowdrop petals swarms through the steamy air as they lounge in the deluxe living room area, twinning matching fluffy bathrobes.

 

“Do you want something to drink?” Sana straddles his lap and loops her arms around his neck.

 

“Hot coffee. Steaming, piping hot.”

 

“Stop it!” She giggles idyllically as he softly noses into her peachy daifuku cheeks.

 

“I love you, Sana.”

 

“Shut up,” She rolls her chocolate chip pupils, feigning annoyance.“I’m not some dumb little bimbo who’ll swoon at something like that!”

 

“That’s too bad,” He presses a lingering kiss into the corner of , although her collarbones flourishing raubritters says otherwise. “You’re too smart and pretty for your own good.”

 

His hands slip under her robe where her supple thighs bruise watercolored hues easily beneath his fingertips. A whine punctures through her chest as his tongue a long wet stripe up her neck. He’s such an expert with his tongue the way he twists her around it like a cherry knot. Sighing contently, she melts into a pool of ice-cream.

 

“Do you really love me?” Her fingers rake through his hair the same way daisies blow in silky grass, and willingly parts open for him as he promises to kiss her about it.

 

That is until the front door clicks open.

 

Huh? Gasping, Sana pushes a confused Jaehyun down into the couch as the opening double doors reveal a familiar figure—

 

“Nayeon-ah?”

 

Nayeon?

 

Sana quickly scrambles off Jaehyun’s lap and jumps up. She vaguely recognizes the woman — in her Maison Margiela top made entirely of black leather gloves and futuristic Chanel blue silver sunglasses designed by Karl Lagerfeld — as the unearthly selcouth blondie from the bar. Now, she looks just as dangerous as dark paradise; like an orb emblem shiv if Vivienne Westwood designed knives.

 

“. . . Jaehyun,” Her voice sounds like the crystal dewdrops of rain smacking on pavement. Sana notices the trace of betrayal between her knitted brows. Oh no. . .

 

“Sana, this is my girlfriend Nayeon. Nayeon, meet Sana — my second lover.”

 

His mellow, high-spirited introduction emanates a raging electricity from Nayeon’s stillness while a cluster of freshwater pearls gather at the corner of Sana’s eyes.

 

“What’s wrong?” Jaehyun inquires innocently.

 

“What do you mean what’s wrong!?” Sana demands.

 

“So what we got caught?” He suppresses a yawn, all lackadaisical and what not.

 

“W-What are you doing??” Bile rises up as Nayeon randomly snaps pictures with her Samsung Folder 2.

 

“Evidence.”

 

“Are you a detective?” Jaehyun comically observes.

 

Sana despises how warped the situation’s becoming. Even more so how in synch those two appear to be. She points an accusing finger at Nayeon. “This is strange! Aren’t you angry!?”

 

“I’m in shock.”

 

“Do you want something to drink?” Jaehyun moves to dial room service.

 

“Hot coffee.”

 

“Wait a minute!” This is too much of a slapstick comedy moment in a different genre anime for a shellshocked Sana to handle. “I-I mean — isn’t sitting down and drinking coffee together too much?”

 

“I guess my reaction is a bit anticlimactic,” There’s a silver heaviness about Nayeon’s face as she restlessly combs a trembling hand through her snow dusted hair; the silver-metallicness of factory blades cutting sheets of iron, technological advancements, and iridescent confetti. For a split second, Sana thinks the blonde’s about to seriously cry. But she doesn’t. The tears never come. It’s a humorless comedy.

 

“So this is how it is,” Jaehyun throws his head back and laughs. Sana watches in disbelief as he amusedly lights his cigarette in the Victorian candleholder on the table without a care in the world.

 

“. . . Um, e-excuse me,” She’s all sweaty palms and knees shaking and shuddery exhales. “I know this isn’t my place to talk but—”

 

“Are you having fun?” Nayeon asks Jaehyun. Unfeeling, numb, almost like a mannequin.

 

“We’re not exclusive,” His chocolatey voice drawls cynicism, “Hell, even Snow White lived with seven husbands.” 

 

Sana questions if there’s a human being underneath all that composed and unbothered exterior.

 

“I know right,” Nayeon releases a stuttery breath. An invisible sledgehammer smashes her monochrome facade. “But why does it still hurt so bad?”

 

“Please don’t go!” Sana panics as Nayeon whips around and dashes out the suite.

 

Damn it. I really screwed up this time.

 

“Aren’t you gonna go after her??” Her heart fastens pathetically in its bone cage.

 

“What’s the point?” Jaehyun casually kicks his legs up on the coffee table and sighs blissfully. “Come, let me dry your hair for you.”

 

Oh my goodness, what have I done? How can he remain so calm? “This is so messed up.”

 

“The criminal is feeling guilty?”

 

“Of course, Sana feels guilty!” She begins pacing back and forth anxiously. “We’ve done a horrible thing!”

 

“Is loving someone so wrong?”

 

“Jaehyun, please don’t do this—”

 

Relaxed, Jaehyun fishes another Marlboro from his wrinkled carton. “Go after her if you feel that bad. See if it’ll redeem what’s left of your pride,” He pauses to raise a brow at her and flick embers into the ashtray. “But, she’s not breaking up with me, I hope you know that.”

 

“What?” Sana halts in pace, heart dropping. She has an idea about boys like him. Boys who are always polite and smiling only to be selfish womanizers, boys who have cutlery ready to shred and rip out hearts, and boys who are narcissists hiding in romanticists’ clothing.

 

“She’s not going to give me up to you so easily,” His warning is clouded in grey smoke, cherry liqueur, and artificial love. Glacéed daffodils. Not a hint of remorse graces his angular features. “I don’t intend on leaving her either. So, what are you going to do?”

 

“What do you mean? Let’s break up!”

 

“Awe, am I not adorable enough to keep around?”

 

“You condescending jerk—”

 

“I told you so,” Jaehyun interrupts flatly, malice freezing his icy tone. It’s the first time she’s seen him visibly upset — from smiling good-naturely to an unsettling hardened glare. “Sana, you go around doing whatever you want as long as you get your way. That’s too bad, I also do things on my own terms. You can either deal with it, or find someone else who’ll treat you better. Of course, I have no problem coddling and babying you — but you opened Pandora’s box, it’s too late for me to go back now.”

 

Is he for real? What’s wrong with me? I don’t know how to feel to be honest. I don’t want to leave him, but I don’t want to be an evil person either. I’m supposed to live purely and elegantly as flowers, but keep making messes like an ignorant child in the mud. Why did I rob another woman’s happiness at the extent of my own? Is this who I want to be? Sana, is this how you really want to be? Is it worth it?

 

She doesn’t even realize she’s outside until the cold winds harshly slice into her cheek and the posh doorman gawks wide-eyed at her lack of proper clothing.

 

“Nayeon!” Sana spots the turbulent woman sans sunglasses throwing a diminishing menthol to the ground. Crimson circles her candied violet eyes as she heatedly glances at Sana. Oh no, another person’s really crying because of me. I really became human trash. “Nayeon, please hear me out!”

 

The blonde swallows a sob and resumes stomping off until Sana takes hold of her. “Slap me! Curse me, hit me, yell at me, do anything you want!”

 

Nayeon yanks her wrist out of Sana’s grip only for the orange haired woman to grab her again.

 

“Do it! I won’t stop you—”

 

“And give you the satisfaction of feeling better about yourself?” Nayeon points out, bitterly amused. Her and Jaehyun are so similar. Is it because lovers start to resemble each other and adopt each other’s habits and way of talking? I’m envious. . .

 

“It’s not like that…”

 

A scoff loaded with disbelief rolls off her tongue. “Should I feel bad for you because you got caught being a ?”

 

Sana flinches and retracts her hand from Nayeon’s.

 

“I don’t care. Use him.”

 

“W-What?” Sana stutters.

 

“You’re using him because you’re lonely. It’s obvious, no self-respecting woman would get with a guy like that. I won’t fight you over someone so low.”

 

“I think I might love him,” Sana admits gloomily.

 

“Good luck,” Scoffing again, Nayeon shrugs and walks away. 

 

“What about you? Do you love him?”

 

Nayeon continues walking.

 

“Wanna be friends!?” Sana calls out desperately.

 

Abruptly halting, Nayeon stomps back and slaps Sana across the face. Hard.

 

“Y-You hit me,” Blinking rapidly, Sana’s hand flies up to touch her rosy cheek.

 

“Strange,” Nayeon comments, head tilting in a feline manner. “I don’t feel any better. . . You’re the waitress from the izakaya, aren’t you?”

 

“You remember me?” Sana can’t stop the glimmering tears spilling down her wet cheekbones. Not even Jaehyun recognized me the second time we met.

 

“I remember thinking a cute girl like you must live the perfect life. Guess I was wrong.”

 

“Nobody’s perfect — especially not me!” Sana begs, voice thick with ceruleans and azures. “I was reckless, I hate myself for even doing something so unforgivable, but. . . No, can’t we talk over coffee? I can explain the whole thing!”

 

“About your failed Barbie life or why you slept with my man?” Nayeon replies cleverly. “Whatever, keep him.”

 

“No, you keep him!”

 

Nayeon opens her winter-chapped lips but stops, the unsaid words vanishing into a tight smile — in this way, she’s too alike to Jaehyun. There’s nothing Sana can do but helplessly watch as the blonde turns around and sashays down the sidewalk. She’s about to dejectedly resign back into the hotel when—

 

“What are you doing?” Nayeon calls over her shoulder. “Buy me a strawberry milkshake, Barbie girl.”

 

Sana hesitates before wiping her tears with a relieved smile. She catches up to Nayeon like a hyper puppy wagging its tail after missing their owner for so long.

 

Mom, maybe there’s hope for your useless, selfish daughter after all.

 

 

 

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𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗’𝖘 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖊: Welcome to the 2nd chapter ~ I initially wanted to write Sana’s character as a spacey airhead but she’s really not as one-dimensional as she appears. I think she’s got a spunkiness and campiness to her that people don’t expect from her. Sure, she’s the typical gaslight gatekeep girlblogging girlboss who loves the starter pack plethora of Dior lip plumpers, Hello Kitty bling, pink & fuzzy things, etc. . . but there’s a self-awareness that adds depth to her personality. It probably doesn’t show as much as this was a flashback chapter and introduction. I like the idea of her not being a soft pushover, and maybe even being more headstrong and straight-forward than Nayeon for example. This is a bit off-track, but I wrote Sana’s first room having more of a groovy y2k aesthetic, and in the first chapter, her current room is more coquette/dollette core. The next chapter is back in the present time and will be Jaehyun’s chapter so. . . I believe you guys will see more of him lol. I like to believe that no one is strictly good or bad in my stories, but morally gray. What do you guys think? I’m so curious! See you next time 🎞️🩰⭐️🎧🎀

 

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