“Ms. Kim, I am very sorry to inform you but there’s a tumor growing on your left lobe.”

Those words shattered me inside and out. I was only 22 when I learned that I’d probably die soon. I have cancer and it’s rare for brain cancer patients to survive. Especially if the tumor has been growing inside your head for almost 15 years.

I felt the pain in the left part of my head when I was 7 but I used to dismiss it. It hurt more when I reached the age of 13. My mother, who's a doctor, diagnosed it as first as a migraine. Whenever my head hurts she’ll simply give me some pain killers and let me take a rest.

Although one incident when I was 20 made her rethink about my condition. I fainted once during music class and had to be hospitalized for a week. I had a hard time moving the right side of my body and that’s when mom contacted doctors to evaluate my condition. With the three tests I took all came out with the same results.

I have brain cancer.

When the news was delivered, my mom sat on my left side while she sat on my right side. My mom was crying very hard while she sat there with an empty look. I know she’s scared as I am but she’s trying to be brave for both of us. 

2 years after being diagnosed I’m still pretty much alive but barely. I refused to take surgeries nor get chemotherapy. My situation got much worse but I’d rather die with my memory of her intact than lose it because of the surgery.

I would never risk losing the best part of my life. I would never risk forgetting about Minju. 

My strength. 

My love. 

My everything.

~~~~~

“Here you go,” Minju handed me a perfectly peeled and cut apple.

“Thanks,” I said and took the fruit.

“Mum called me last night,” she said and sat beside me. The both of us are watching TV peacefully as if no one from the two of us is dying.

“What did she say again?”

“She wanted me to convince you again to take the surgery.”

I sighed and put down my plate of fruit. I faced her side and said, “You know that I’d never agree to it Minju.”

“I know but I wanted to try.”

“It won’t work,” I said then stood up from the couch. I headed to our room while she followed me after turning the TV off. “Why can’t you just give it a try Chaewon?” she asked me once I layed down on the bed. I’m feeling a bit dizzy and this argument wouldn’t make me feel better.

“You know the reason Minju.”

“Chaewon if you’re worried that you’ll forget us, forget me, then please don’t. Your health is more important,” Minju said and sat beside me. 

“You know that I just can’t risk it so please stop forcing me to take that surgery,” I replied then heard her sigh.

“If that’s what you really want then I’d let you.”

The lights turned off then I heard her shut the door.

~~~~~

A month has passed and it hasn’t been fine for me. My migraine feels worse, there are days when I can’t get up from bed. I’ve been noticeably losing a lot of weight. Of course, Minju is by my side while all these horrible things happen.

“Drink this, it will make you feel better,” Minju said and handed me water and some pills. “Thanks,” I said and drank the medicine. Minju took back the empty glass and placed it on the bed side table.

“Isn’t it supposed to be your first day at that internship you’re having?”

“I can’t just leave you here while you’re in a bad condition,” Minju answered. 

“You can just leave me here though,” I reasoned.

“And let you skip your meal again? No way. You’ve been losing a lot of weight and I don’t think that’s good for your condition, you need to eat something to feel stronger,” Minju replied back. 

Minju’s playing with my hair now while I lay on her lap.

“I can call Yena, Yujin or Hyewon over here to help. If they’re not free then I still have Eunbi and Chaeyeon,” I reasoned again. 

I know that Minju only wants to take care of me but I don't like it when people spend too much time on me and forgets they have better stuff to do than staying with me.

“Let me take care of you just for this day then I’d let you call our friends over the following days,” Minju finally said. 

I let out a sigh as a sign of surrender.

“Sometimes I wonder who, between the two of us, the really persistent one is.”

“It has to be you, Chaewon.”

“And why is that?”

“You were the one who courted me for two years!”

“Did I really court you for two years?” I asked.  

I’m obviously pretending. 

How can I forget those 2 years of pure hardship? I had to prove herself to so many people at that time, Minju’s family, her friends and herself.

“Yah! How dare you forget that?” Minju whined.

“I was just kidding, I’d never forget that. It’s one of the most memorable events in my life,” Isaid and snuggled closer to her. 

I slowly became quiet. My hot tears fall on Minju’s shirt. I felt her hand touch my cheeks.

“What’s wrong?”

I couldn’t answer because of two reasons. One, my head is throbbing so hard I just want it to end. The other reason is that I’m scared, so scared about the future.

“It hurts Minju,” I mumbled. 

“I’ll get you your medicine.” 

I could hear the tremble in her voice trying her best not to panic. It’s been embedded in her head that she had to be calm for the both of us, she had to be strong for me. 

“Don’t, just stay here. All I need is you right beside me,” I begged with a weak voice.

Suddenly I felt droplets of tears on my cheeks. I knew it wasn’t mine.

~~~~~

One day, while Minju is away for her internship, I got up from our bed for the first time in days. I’m trying to look  for something even if my head feels like it is ripping and my legs feel like jelly. I gladly found it in the cabinet, which Minju probably decided to keep when I decided to throw it away before. It was my useless phone that produced too much radiation for me to handle.

I dialed a number I’m no longer familiar with nor did I think I’ll ever call again. At the third ring the person finally decided to answer.

“Chaewon? What’s wrong? Is Minju not there with you? Do you want me to send a friend over there?”

“Mom, please slow down, it's hurting my ears.”

“Fine but what do you need?”

“Book me two tickets heading to Taiwan. Also, buy me a wedding gown, I want it to be pretty and elegant yet simple. Prepare a beach wedding, I want everything to be perfect from the venue to the rings, it has to be ready at the end of this month. Also send me a couple rings, I want it to be elegant and beautiful.”

“Chaewon what are those for?”

“What do you think Mom?”

“Chaewon,