ARIN.

Arin first saw Jiho at 17. She was on her way home and her sister, Yubin, walked Jiho out of their house. Arin heard a lot about Yubin's friends since Yubin seem to really like them all. No one really caught Arin's interest other than how Jiho did. Ever since that day, Arin started listening to all of her sister's stories, hoping that she'll hear something about Jiho. Yes, that's how Arin developed a liking for the girl.

 

At first, it was just a crush, Arin admitted it, especially when Yubin started asking her about how she's always curious about Jiho although they never met. But after some time, a year perhaps, Arin got the chance to talk to her crush, hoping she could be at least friends with her.

 

One dinner, Yubin asked their parents if they could use the villa for the next weekend, Arin didn't mind at all, she was happy she'd get to be alone in their room for days.

 

"Actually, Yubin.. Would you mind if Yewon comes with you? Your sister is always alone and in her room, I hope she could get good friends too" Yubin agreed, Arin knew her sister has always supported her in whatever she does, which is why she also knows whether she likes it or not, she will have to come. 

 

"Arin, Jiho's coming with us." Arin's face clearly brightened up, Yubin noticed it, a smile flashed on their faces. 

 

"I'll come!" 

 

--

 

Yubin and Arin got to the meeting place an hour earlier than the said time, they'll be meeting Mimi and Yooa first, since the van that they will use was Mimi's. It was around 4 PM and Arin felt weird, she was never this nervous. Why am I nervous? 

 

Mimi and Yooa were nice, and always clinging to each other, just like how Yubin described them. After minutes, Hyojung came with Seunghee and Hyejin, they were holding bags of snacks. As far as Arin could remember, Hyojung and Hyejin were like the parents in their group. Meanwhile, Seunghee and Jiho were the clowns. Although it was mostly Seunghee and Jiho was just the sidekick. 

 

Arin was inside the van when Jiho came. The others were busy chatting outside, they were meeting in front of a mall that's why Mimi and Yooa liked it more outside. So it was only Seunghee and Arin in the car. 

 

Jiho entered the car when Arin was busy with her phone, Seunghee was sitting in the middle, while Arin was in the backseat. When Arin noticed Jiho opening the car door, she tried her best to keep her poise. Act calm, be normal Arin, please.

 

She smiled at Jiho, the other flashed a smile back to her, it looked like Jiho was having trouble choosing a seat. Why would she even sit with me? As expected, Jiho sat next to Seunghee. The two were loud, Arin couldn't suppress her smile by just listening to them talking. Later on, the other girls started going in the van one by one, Yubin sat next to Arin to keep her accompanied.

 

"Hey Kim Jiho, that's my seat!" Hyojung exclaimed, shoo-ing Jiho off.

 

"Fiiine, boss." Jiho left in defeat. This just means one thing, Jiho will be sitting next to her.

 

Jiho bowed to her as they sat next to each other.

 

"Wow, Jiho when did you start getting shy at others?" Yubin teased. Jiho is shy? It doesn't look like she is.. She's too pretty up-close.

 

Jiho and Arin just sat awkwardly next to each other. "Will we get to hang out more often now?" Seunghee asks excitedly, might be referring to the new member of their circle, although Arin thinks she doesn't have the confidence to socialize with all of them.

 

"Yes, Arin should!" Yooa seconded. Yubin was just laughing.

 

"As long as you guys don't scare her off, it's okay for her, right, Arin?"

 

Arin agreed, their group is so fun to be with, they never stop talking. Arin is really a homebody, she goes to school then goes home right away. That's why Yubin was like her only friend, as the only person she talks to all the time.

 

--

 

They stopped by a convenience store, Mimi wanted to rest for a bit, and there's an amazing view of the sunset by the lake. Everyone was enjoying the view, taking pictures and stuff. Arin got off the van last, she saw Mimi and Yooa together, and Hyejin volunteered on taking a picture of the couple. Next to them was Hyojung and Seunghee, taking pictures of each other. 

 

"Arin, come here, let's take a picture together!"

 

Yubin pulled her close, they took a picture and Yubin immediately sent it to their mom since she wouldn't stop asking for updates. Hyejin called Yubin after, now Arin is alone. She took a look at the sunset once again, it's so calm, and nice. It felt like she was free, and have her own time to take a rest from all the stress in school.  She couldn't stop smiling, this is healing for her.

 

click

 

That was definitely a sound of a camera. Arin turned around, curious who could that be, then she saw Jiho taking pictures with her camera. The girl seems busy, Arin wondered if she could be normal even just for five minutes, and try to carry a conversation with her. She was about to walk to Jiho, but Hyojung came and pulled Jiho by her arm. 

 

Ah, not now I guess. Seunghee then came to talk with Arin, this girl is really loud, she wouldn't stop talking about anything. She doesn't even run out of topic. This way, Arin was kind of distracted from her nervousness. 

 

After minutes, Arin saw Jiho alone again, so she excused herself from Seunghee. Although Seunghee didn't want to let go of her. Good thing, Yubin came and pulled Seunghee away. Arin noted to herself that she should thank Yubin sometime soon, although she doesn't know how much Yubin knows.

 

"Uhm.." Arin met Jiho's eyes, she's suddenly nervous again, feeling all shy although she knows she shouldn't be. From what she heard, Jiho's comfortable to talk to. 

 

"I noticed you were taking pictures earlier, would you mind if I ask for copies..? I-I want to post it on my sns later.." Arin was blushing, she looks so shy and couldn't even look at Jiho in the eye. Jiho told her she'll be sending them soon. 

 

"Really? Thank you!" The look on Arin's face was pure bliss. Arin's heart was so happy, she doesn't know why but talking to Jiho, seeing Jiho smile for her, and this mini alone time with Jiho makes her so happy, she waited for a year for this.

 

--

 

Arin couldn't sleep, she was trying to, but she can't even when she's been closing her eyes for more than an hour now. There was a faint noise, little noise of footsteps, and shifting, maybe the others are moving while sleeping but the footsteps are unusual. So, Arin opened her eyes and saw a figure leaving the room.. it was Jiho, not a ghost or whatever. 

 

Arin was a scaredy-cat to think that Jiho was a ghost, but when she realized it was Jiho she had trouble deciding whether to follow the girl of her dreams-- scratch that, Jiho, or not. But then, she took this as an opportunity, she could talk to Jiho, so why not? It's her only chance to be with her alone. 

 

When she left the room, her eyes instantly looked its way for the girl she's looking for. There was Jiho, at the balcony. Arin is getting closer. She saw Jiho hugging the pillow, This is it, Arin. Please don't mess up. 

 

"C-Can't sleep?" She was stuttering, but Jiho seemed to not notice it. Arin sighed, she feels her cheeks getting hotter when Jiho looked at her.

 

"Yeah." Jiho says shortly. Arin was disappointed when she heard Jiho's tone, looks like the other girl isn't up for a talk with her or whatever. So for the first time, she had the courage to sit next to her. 

 

"You're so hard to impress..." Arin blurted out, she didn't realize what she said until Jiho spoke.

 

"Were you trying to impress me?" Jiho was chuckling, Arin's heart almost burst, this was the closest she's been with Jiho, and to hear her laugh like this? Heaven. 

 

"I am.."

 

Arin feels so embarrassed, she's been blushing since earlier, and she couldn't even stop it, she's a mess for Jiho. And when Jiho moved closer to her, she thought she was going to die, her heart was going wild. Arin swore her heart stopped then would beat wild. Jiho. the only word she could think of. 

 

"Good thing, you joined us on this trip" Arin was hugging her pillow. Yes, it's a good thing, no, best thing. 

 

"Actually, I didn't want to come, but my parents want me to spend more time with other people," says Arin. She could feel Jiho looking at her but she was too shy to look back.

 

None of them talked again.. Although Arin wants to continue this, she just needs courage. 

 

"I thought it would be boring since this villa is far from the neighborhood in this province, but I find it fun.. and I heard you're coming too.." Arin felt Jiho looking at her again, Arin please stop blushing.

 

"Yeah..? Did Yubin talk about me?" Jiho asks, Arin shook her head, maybe she could try giving a hint. Maybe, maybe I should.

 

"Yes, but I've seen you a lot in school." 

 

"How come you saw me, we have different schedules?" Jiho had that grin on her face, which Arin finds annoyingly amusing.

 

"Don't grin like that!" Arin pouted and shifted away from a little, but Jiho sat closer to her again.

 

"What-? I'm just stating the facts!" Jiho was laughing, she caught Arin off-guard. 

 

Arin couldn't help but smile as she finally got the courage to look back and take glances at the other girl. Jiho's laugh is so satisfying, she'd love to hear it more.

 

"So, aren't you going to defend your statements earlier?" Arin looked at Jiho, who looks like she was about to burst out laughing again. 

 

"I won't!" Arin rolled her eyes, should we just sleep? 

 

"Do you want to stroll around?" Arin asks, the rest of the night going as the two just talked about random stuff. Arin though was still a blushing mess around Jiho. Which she hopes that the other girl wouldn't notice. 

 

The next morning, Yubin woke Arin, asking for help in finding the ingredients in the kitchen. Arin looked around and saw Jiho sleeping. She's sleeping well.. Mimi and Yooa were still sleeping, these two are definitely lovebirds, she already knew Yooa before, because she was once her tutor, so she knew a bit about her. Yooa used to talk about her brother and a girl she likes. That's the only thing she knows about her, personally. Arin hopes these two would never break up, they seem to love each other so much.

 

After helping Yubin, Arin was pulled by Seunghee to the leaving room, so they could talk while waiting for Jiho to wake up, which Yubin agreed to. Arin was told to hang out with the others and Seunghee is good help. The girls, excluding Hyojung and Yubin who were already busy cooking, have gathered in the living room, Mimi and Yooa were on the floor, being all lovey-dovey, while Hyejin was waiting for Seunghee and Arin to sit with them.

 

"Ah seriously, when is Kim Jiho waking up?" Hyejin huffs, looks like the older is hungry. 

 

"Ask Mimi, they're both Kims." says Seunghee, Arin realized, she can't resist laughing alongside Yooa and Hyejin. Mimi sat up from leaning her head on Yooa's lap. 

 

"Yah! Why is it always our surnames!?" Yooa pulled Mimi back down. Arin was just laughing as they joke around.

 

"Let's let her sleep, she's been tired," Yooa says, shoving a small piece of bread on Mimi's mouth.

 

"Tired?" Arin asks, she's really curious about Jiho.. or maybe interested is the right term. It doesn't bite to ask, does it?

 

"Ahh, Jiho had part-time jobs, although her grandparents are rich, she wants to earn money on her own" Seunghee answers, as if it was a usual topic in their group. 

 

"I'm sure Yubin told you, she only has her grandparents now, right?" Mimi checked and Arin nodded. She remembers that detail, Jiho's life is sensitive. 

 

"She should get a lover, so she'll get distracted from being too all-goody with her part-time jobs, she's stressing herself out," Hyejin says, taking the mug of coffee from the center table. 

 

"Anyway! I think she's not that stressed anymore. I'm sure I heard Jiho laughing last night though!" Seunghee exclaimed, the others were getting interested and Arin was sure she's been blushing again, Seunghee doesn't know she's with Jiho, right?

 

They didn't notice that Jiho was awake already. But as soon as Jiho took their attention, Arin couldn't stop expecting from Jiho. They've gotten closer right. We were, I think we had. She hopes Jiho would sit next to her but Seunghee calls Jiho and Mimi. 

 

--

 

Arin thought Jiho would never talk to her after the trip but, surprisingly, Jiho started texting her, became friends with her. Yubin even takes Arin with her everytime the group would be gathering. Arin became a part of their group. 

 

It was one of the holidays when they all gathered at Hyejin's house. 

 

"Yooa, where's Mimi?" Hyojung asks, the girl just shrugged. 

 

"Yes, unnie! Care to talk about the guy-?" Arin saw Yubin squeezing Jiho's arm as if telling her to stop. 

 

Mimi arrived. It was awkward, seems like Yooa and Mimi fought that day. Seunghee requested that they should play a game. So, they gathered into a circle, Arin was sitting next to Hyejin and Mimi but suddenly, Jiho pulled Mimi back, shoving the tall girl towards Yooa, with Mimi whining of course, as Jiho sat next to Arin.

 

Arin's getting used to being with Jiho, having Jiho next to her, seeing Jiho following her. They're friends. But.. everyone in that room were friends, can they be any different? Arin was scared. 

 

"So, Arin, have you been liking someone recently?" Hyejin asks, Arin heard her sister giggling. Everyone is looking and expecting an answer from her. 

 

"Ohhh Jiho do you know something?" Seunghee teases. Arin looks at Jiho, why..? Why did Seunghee suddenly ask Jiho?

 

"Yes! I know something, it's our secret so shut up Hyun Seunghee!" Jiho chuckles as she rests her arm around Arin's shoulder. 

 

"Aish, these two." Yubin though, was laughing histerically while the others moved on. Arin swore she'll never say anything to her sister again. 

 

--

 

"You free to talk?"

 

Arin gulped, biting her bottom lip. Mixed feelings were eating her up. Everything that happened in this room earlier before they had their dinner is still fresh in her mind. She couldn't even look straight at Jiho. She wants to talk about everything. Why did Jiho kiss her, and then say that she isn't interested in dating? Then why did she bother kissing me?

 

"About earlier.." Now, Jiho has Arin's attention. Arin doesn't care whether someone barges in their room right now or anything. She wants answers, she wants to know how Jiho felt. 

 

"I was just worried because you looked trouble." 

 

that's it..? 

 

Disappointed. Hurt. 

 

Arin doesn't know why she's hurt. Does Jiho only kiss everyone when she wants to comfort them?

 

"So you kissed me?" The look in Jiho's eyes that night was something Arin couldn't understand. Please explain everything. 

 

But Jiho remained silent. Is this about her family? Does she have issues with relationships? Arin and Jiho have spent so much time together but Arin had not asked about this stuff. I should've had. 

 

"It's okay. Don't say anything anymore. I rather not hear it." Arin says, taking her textbook to read again. She wants to cry right now. She badly wants to. She messed up. 

 

Jiho didn't say anything after. Yubin came, Jiho told Yubin that she couldn't stay the night because her grandma called her. 

 

The rest of the night, Arin just cried herself to sleep, thinking about her friendship with Jiho that just ended. The kiss.. Arin hopes Jiho would come to her and tell her that she likes her. Arin waited for an explanation. 

 

But there wasn't any. Jiho disappeared. 

 

The next Monday after that day when they kissed, Arin came to school early, hoping she'd get a chance to see Jiho or if lucky, could talk to her. Yubin said that their batch would have to come to school early that day, for some seminar. She could've asked for Yubin's help, but she's too embarrassed and she doesn't know if it would be a good idea. Arin also wanted to call Jiho but she's even having a hard time sending her a message. She'd try, but she couldn't. 

 

"You're early today, huh?" Her classmate, Dayoung suddenly popped behind her. There weren't many students in the hallway, Arin fiddled with the strap of her backpack, silently ignoring her classmate as she walk around, finally finding the classroom she was heading to. 

 

"Ya, you're going to your sister?" Still ignored, the least thing Arin wants to do right now is to tell anyone about whom she's looking for.

 

"...Or Jiho?" Arin stopped, and turned around to look at her grinning classmate.

 

"Have you seen her?" she asks, biting her bottom lip. 

 

"Yeah, she went out from the admin office earlier.. I think a car fetched her." Arin furrowed her eyebrows. What? Admin Office? Where is she going? 

 

Arin quickly thanked her classmate and glanced inside the supposed Jiho and Yubin's homeroom, but she only saw some of her sister's classmates, Jiho wasn't in there. She asked them where could Jiho go, and they said Jiho is transferring to another school.

 

She started running, although she doesn't really know where she's heading, she kept running. She badly needs to talk to Jiho, she can't lose her. She shouldn't have acted that way. Should she call Yubin? Arin stopped running, she was panting, catching her breath. She's too disappointed in herself, and in everything that happened. She sat down on the nearest bench when she reached the school grounds. 

 

She decided to send Jiho a message. It's now or never. 

 

Arin: Jiho unnie, where are you? 

sent.

 

15 more minutes and her class is starting. She heaved a deep sigh when minutes passed and Jiho still hasn't replied. 

 

--

 

That night, Arin decided that she'd talk to Yubin, hoping she could be a help for her situation.

 

"Ah.. Yes, Jiho already left., didn't she send you a message? I thought she left a message for all of us. Yooa unnie said Mimi has been crying because she's touched by Jiho's message." Yubin said, busy folding her newly-washed socks. She looked at her sibling. There was a hint of sadness in Arin's eyes, Yubin was sure of it, she's also sure that Arin would cry anytime now. 

 

"Hey.. maybe she just ran out of battery when she's about to send the message?" Yubin says, comforting her sister. Arin just nodded and turned around. 

 

Arin couldn't help but sob, sadness is growing inside her too fast that she was going to implode. Apparently, Jiho had bid goodbye to their group of friends in the past weekend when she was all sad and breaking down with anxiety thinking about Jiho and Jiho only, and Jiho never sent her one nor gave her a notice about her going abroad. Yes, it even got worst, she thought it was okay if she's just transferring to another school, but she's moving to another country. Arin felt hopeless.

 

Yubin shifted from her bed to Arin's and hugged her sister, comforting her. She said knew that the two grew close but she doesn't ask about it. She has no idea why Jiho did this, but she knows that her friend has reasons. The whole night, Yubin just listened to all of Arin's stories about her and Jiho. Seems like it made her feel a lot better, although she knows her sister would still face the same sadness tomorrow.

 

The next three years went fast. Everyone is doing well. Yubin, Seunghee together with Yooa and Mimi have been attending an academy for months. Hyejin and Hyojung started a business, a cafe to be exact after they graduated and it's been a main trend for the youngsters. It's their group's meeting place every now and then, of course, except Jiho. 

 

From what Arin heard, Jiho has been video calling Mimi and Yooa, which makes Yubin sulk all the time. Arin wants to sulk too.. but for what cause? Jiho never bothered talking to her, for the whole three years. Arin only got a "Jiho says happy birthday" from Mimi on her birthdays. On the other side, she can see how her friends are making efforts to make her happy, they give her gifts, like stuffed toys, cookies, and such almost every season. Her favorite is the tiger cub stuffed toy-- which she thinks Mimi only gave her to tease about Jiho. Arin felt like she got 5 more sisters aside from Yubin.

 

Every night, Arin can't stop thinking about her last encounter with Jiho. Her room reminds her so much of what happened, not to mention that she always stay in her room.

 

Because she somehow learned to enjoy thinking about Jiho.

 

There are some moments when Arin would come to HyoJin's cafe and they're in the middle of facetiming Jiho. She'd sit next to Yooa, and then Jiho would excuse herself. Arin admits it. She was hurt and disappointed. Will Jiho keep doing this? Does she have no plans on taking it out? She guesses maybe Jiho thinks it's not worth it. Arin's not worth it. And there's really nothing to talk about.. 

 

She wanted to move on. She cut her hair short because she wants to start anew, which their relatives noticed and even called her and Yubin as cute as twins. But they didn't know the real reason why she cut her hair. She badly wants, but her heart says otherwise. If it's love, then it should be Jiho. She wants Jiho, and Jiho only. For those three years, Arin only focused on her studies. Even when some tried hitting on her, she just ignored and made them stop, because she knows her heart and whom it's beating for. 

 

"Arin, can I borrow your notes in Chemistry 2?" Mimi asks her since the older is currently recalling the past topics they had before. She nodded and told her that she'll bring it next time. 

 

They're currently on HyoJin's cafe, there weren't many customers today. Hyojung invited them over because she said she'll be announcing something later at night. Arin wonders what was it, or if it's connected to the cafe's first anniversary next week. But the oldest says it's a surprise so they just went to do their own stuff while waiting for Seunghee and Yubin. Arin doesn't know why Yubin isn't here yet, she's always on time but now she isn't. 

 

She was about to send a text to her sister when a loud voice entered the cafe and it was Seunghee. She caught everyone's attention. Seunghee was walking while facing the person following her. Ah.. it was Yubin unnie. Yubin looks calm, unlike Seunghee who's all out excited. Although no one knew what they're talking about, looks like they did something together this morning.

 

"But your voice was so cute earlier! Don't be shy!" Seunghee exclaims but Yubin just laughed it off, ignoring her and walking straight towards Arin and the others.

 

Arin scanned her sister's face as soon as Yubin sat next to her. "Don't." Yubin says shortly when she felt Arin's gaze. Hm. Arin grinned, her sister is blushing... because of Seunghee? or not? wow. 

 

"Do you like coffee, Arin?" Mimi asks her.

 

These days, the girls had been keeping Arin busy, talking to her about random stuff, asking her about such things she knew that naturally grew in her personality, like her favorites. 

 

"I like choco more, unnie. Will you buy me a drink?" Mimi quickly shook her head.

 

"Naah, I'm just curious, eh." 

 

Yooa told Mimi to help Hyojung and Hyejin in delivering the food to their table. The two have been preparing in the kitchen since earlier. Seems like this day is really special, huh? The group is seated at a round table, the biggest one in the cafe. Arin has Yubin on her right and a vacant seat on her left, next to that seat is Mimi's, then Yooa, who's currently busy with her phone, she's really stuck with her phone these days. Next to Yooa is Hyejin's and Hyojung's, then Seunghee, next to Yubin.

 

If Jiho was here, she'd sit next to Arin and Arin would love it so much.

 

But she wasn't. 

 

It's almost 6 PM when Hyojung finally joins the group at the table, they made sure that the customers have left already before leaving the counter. Arin saw the marshmallows and jellies on a bowl which makes her stomach flutter. So she slowly tries taking the bowl closer to her while the others are busy talking. 

 

When she finally got the bowl, she hurriedly starts eating. Being single must've done this to her. You know, with food, it's like she's in heaven. She really loves marshmallows and jellies.

 

She loves those so much that she became occupied. And she's too occupied with eating that she didn't notice the person who sat next to her. 

 

"Ah! At last, we're complete!" Hyojung announced, which caught everyone's attention.. except Arin's who's still busy with her jellies, she's now taking photos of them.

 

"So you're into jellies now."

 

That voice. Finally, Arin's attention skipped the jellies and diverted to the owner of the arm sitting on the table in front of her. 

 

Jiho.