Hyewon wakes up quietly, everything was the same as before but she knows that there’s a big change. It was how she woke up feeling warm and a little bit lighter, unlike how she wakes up from her sleep during the past years – where she would be panting and out of breath, scared and broken. But at that moment, she could only feel bliss and she naturally turn to her side, smiling at Minju’s sleeping face. It seems like their getaway from yesterday took a toll on the girl as Hyewon could hear some light snores from time to time, and suddenly she traces the girl’s face with her eyes.

She looks at the younger girl’s face, staring at how the few strands of her hair covers her face – tempting Hyewon to tuck it behind Minju’s ear but afraid that she’ll wake the girl up. Her gaze then went to Minju’s closed eyes, smiling slightly as she just noticed that the girl has long eyelashes. Next is her nose, weirdly thinking that it looks so soft and Hyewon just wants to touch it, and lastly the lips. Suddenly, she thinks about the kiss that happened last night – and as if she was reliving it, she could feel her heart doing some somersaults.

Hyewon still couldn’t grasp that she – someone who never does unusual things, someone who always know what control is, asked Minju to kiss her. Hyewon doesn’t know where the courage came from, she didn’t drink anything that night – she’s only drunk from exhaustion and sleepiness. Maybe it was how she talked about it to Sakura, and how the Japanese told her to ‘just kiss the girl’. It could also be how the thought of Minju not kissing her when they were at the hill couldn’t leave her mind – nagging every time she watches Minju yesterday.

That’s when she realized the things, she was feeling for Minju as she stares at the sleeping girl beside. She may have been blind to everything that’s happening around her, putting everything at the back of her mind that she didn’t realize the changes happening. The subtle changes in her actions, the slight skipping of heart, how she couldn’t help but to remind Minju about her lunch – how she would do anything for the younger girl.

She couldn’t understand herself first, how she always tells Minju that Sora would love her when she meets her – how Minju is so similar to Sora yet very distinct. How Hyewon wants to personally and proudly introduce Minju to her sister – and she did, even going out of her way by asking Minju on a spontaneous visit to the hill.

Everything is starting to make sense, remembering the times when Sora would always gush about Jaehyun – how her sister looks as if she’s always high, as if there were no pending papers that they should do, no parents pressuring them to play instrument. It’s like every problem in her life has been solved just like that – just like in a snap.

“Hey.”

Hyewon was pulled away from her thoughts when she heard a husky voice, focusing her gaze on the now opened eyes – all bright from the sleep. It seems like Minju has been awake for a few minutes now as she is smiling slightly at Hyewon, obviously caught the girl staring at her. Rather than being embarrassed from being caught, Hyewon returned the stare – not hiding the smile that’s forming on her lips.

So, this is what it feels like. Hyewon thought as she stares at Minju, because everything makes sense to her at that moment – the things that never made sense to her before suddenly became sensible. All the doubts living inside her are slowly leaving her, every fear she always thinks are starting to get brighter, and every blame and regret that she tells to herself – all of those are starting to change. Because, right there, laying beside Minju – the two of them staring at each other, Hyewon couldn’t help but to be thankful.

“Hey.” Hyewon said softly, “Good morning.”

She could feel arms snaking around her waist, holding her hand and intertwining their fingers – naturally, the two of them scooted closer to each other. Hyewon leaning her forehead against the younger girl’s closing her eyes, savoring every seconds and minutes they spend against each other’s arms.

“Good morning.” Minju whispered, and as if realizing something she widened her eyes and pushed Hyewon away – surprising the latter. Hyewon looks at Minju confusedly, the younger girl just hiding her face and waving her hand at Hyewon – as if telling her to go away.

“Hey, what’s the problem?” Hyewon asked worriedly, sitting up and trying to sit closer to the girl but Minju just pulled away and pushed Hyewon – the older girl couldn’t help but frown at the weird act.

“Hey, is there – “

“It’s morning!” Minju said against her hands, muffling her voice. Hyewon frowns as the answer was too vague for her to grasp, not getting the point, she tilts her head and looks at Minju confusedly.

“Yeah, so?”

Minju blushed madly and quickly stood up from the bed, glancing at the older girl and she groans as the latter is still giving her a confused and questioning look. As if she’s not human and not thinking about the most logical thing to think in the morning.

“Morning breath!” Minju admits and avoids Hyewon’s amused look, feeling her face getting hotter by the second. She couldn’t just stand there anymore, quickly shuffling out of the room she could hear Hyewon asking her where she’s going.

“Brush my teeth, like a normal person!” Minju shouts and she glances out of the room and she could see Hyewon peeking from her room and as their eyes connected, she couldn’t believe that Hyewon has a teasing glint in her eyes. Minju quickly slams the door shut, leaning herself against it. She doesn’t know why she suddenly felt awkward and conscious but it was normal, right?

She then thinks about how Hyewon was looking at her earlier, how the older girl drags her gaze around Minju’s face – as if taking everything all in at once, like looking at an ancient relic. Minju saw how Hyewon’s eyes looked at that moment, all soft and careful but she could feel something deeper with the older girl’s stare. Just thinking about it makes her feel nervous, and for the first time in her life – she loved how it felt, it was a good kind of nervousness. Because maybe she knows, maybe Minju knows that no matter how nervous she is, she will always be safe – as long as she was with Hyewon.

She then heard a knock coming from the other side making her pull away from the door, then Hyewon’s voice was heard.

“I’ll be making breakfast now, you good there?”

Minju smiles even if she knows that Hyewon won’t see it, “Yeah, I’ll be right there.”

She then turns around and sees her reflection on the mirror, and she chuckles to herself. Minju felt like she was on a cloud nine, and it was very obvious – she couldn’t stop from grinning and she doesn’t even care that her heart is beating faster. All she could think about is the kiss and the event earlier, she turns on the faucet and washed up.

Minju still needs to talk to Hyewon, because even though they kissed – she knows that there are other things that they need to consider. But at least now, she knows that they are on the same page and they only need to talk about it.

/

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

It’s been years since they last met, just the two of them which is why Chaeyeon feels nervous as she sits down. As usual, Eunbi was the first one to arrive – the older girl is just that responsible, not wanting anyone to wait for her. She knows that this talk was long overdue, and she has already been expecting it – but that doesn’t make it any less nerve-wrecking.

Chaeyeon could only stare at the brown circular table they are situated on, following the odd swirls drawn on it as a design. It feels like it’s been years since she has last been in that café, when in fact it has only been roughly a year. It feels odd to be back there because she could clearly remember that the reason she first worked there was because she needs to find herself – something she owed not only to herself, but also to the person in front of her.

But in the process, she knows that she put an unbearable pain to Eunbi – not even bothering to leave an explanation, because Chaeyeon couldn’t think of one. She was immature back then, and right now – to be back there again, it seems like an unfamiliar territory for her. It’s like she was thrown back to the older times, when she was younger – all naïve and has not experience the harsh reality yet. She takes a deep breath first before looking up, she sees Eunbi looking at her already – waiting for her as usual.

“I’m sorry.” Chaeyeon apologized, and she hates it – how the apology she gave could not amount to the years and pain Eunbi felt and waited. All those years for just two simple words? She needs to explain herself, everything – why, how, what.

Eunbi smiles weakly, staring at the steaming cup of coffee in front of her. “For what, exactly?”

“Everything.” Chaeyeon whispered, but it holds a weight to the both of them. She looks up and she could feel tears building up from her eyes, blinking it away she inhales a shaky breath to compose herself. “I mean it, I’m sorry. I was young back then; I didn’t know how to explain everything and I’m afraid that I would hurt you.”

“But you still did, right?” Eunbi says, and it’s weird how there was no malice in her tone – but it was cold, like it has been pulled out from a void that she has been keeping for a long time. But the girl wasn’t wrong because the both of them knew, that no matter what Chaeyeon did – what decision she would ever choose, it will still hurt Eunbi one way or another. Because no matter what, either if she stayed or not, Chaeyeon could never lie to herself and to Eunbi – she could never return the latter’s feelings.

“I have no other choice.”

Eunbi clenched her fist under the table, stopping herself from bursting out – all her pent-up emotions from before just surging through her and hearing Chaeyeon’s explanation is just triggering the worst of it. She knows that she wanted to hear it, she has been waiting for it but she didn’t expect to be like – a joke. Because for all she knows, Chaeyeon had a choice since the beginning – Eunbi gave that to her, but the younger girl didn’t act on it, giving Eunbi vague and blurry actions. Until the girl left her, and everything just went downhill.

“You had a choice from the start Chaeyeon,” Eunbi said quietly, unclenching her fist and looking up from her cup then to Chaeyeon. “But instead of choosing one, you settled for both halves. A safe choice for you but never for me.”

“I didn’t know.” Chaeyeon whispered making Eunbi scoff.

“You knew but you chose to be a blind eye about it.”

Chaeyeon avoids the older girl’s eye, taking a sharp inhale. She doesn’t know how she would steer this conversation to the right path, because it seems like all her guilt and Eunbi’s pent-up emotions are not a good mix. Making their conversation passive aggressive which is not the thing that they are planning on.

“Are you happy?” Eunbi asked softly, putting aside everything – asking something that she already knows the answer. It’s easy to see that the younger girl is happy, just seeing the smile forming on her face – something that she wished that she was the cause of.

“She makes me happy.” Chaeyeon smiles softly, “Very much.”

Eunbi nods her head, but she needs to ask something that might sound harsh. But no one could blame her, her other friend is involved her – someone she also respects. She