Sorry! Long chapter ahead!

         Do you know what I consider as romantic?

         It’s not having butterflies in your stomach when you see your crush or dancing in the rain then having a passionate kiss under it or when someone take you out on a candle-light dinner at some fancy Michelin’s Star restaurant or when someone proposed to you with 99 red roses and roses petals are decorated all over the floor with balloons and candle-lights.

         What I think is that the simplest thing in life could be romantic. Eating warm meals together; watching movies; walking in the park; visiting a museum together; giving someone pretty daises; forehead kisses, a peck on the lips.

The kind where your heart is comforted. When it hits close to home. Heads up in the cloud, your thoughts wandering from those small moments back and forth. A small yet meaningful gesture flickers warmth into your heart, tugging your heartstrings.

         I was still in a daze when I sat across him. Sehun is here. After 5 years, he’s right in front me, again.

I wonder why Chanyeol didn’t tell me his name. Is it because I’ll run away? Or is it because Chanyeol wanted to surprise me? Would I run away if I knew we are going to meet each other? Or would I be happy actually?

Or what if we are not supposed to be each other’s date for today? Maybe it’s just a coincidence that Sehun is wearing a blue light jacket with black pants. Maybe there’s someone else on the way with the same outfit.

“Hyesoo, you’re having that face again.” Sehun called me out softly, pulling a small smile.

“What face?”

He chuckled, “You’re overthinking things.”

He took out his phone and slides it over the table, showing me our text conversations, “See? It’s a proof that we are supposed to meet today. We even called each other when we arrived here.” Again, he smiles at me.

         Me: Blue light jacket with black pants.

        Cat girl: Light blue cardigan with long black gingham skirt.

No doubts that our conversations.

But when did his smile becomes sad? I always remember it as warm as the morning light.

“But what if it’s just another person with the same number?” I continue to press on, blankly.

This time, he laughs a little louder, his eyes crinkled, “Hyesoo, you know that two people can’t have the same number at the same time, right?”

Right. I immediately looked down at the menu.

One look at him got your head all caught up in the sky huh? Damn it, I wasn’t planning to be an idiot. Calm down, Han Hyesoo.

Both of us went quiet for a moment, staring down at our menus. My mind running through millions of questions, curious about how Sehun has been? Why did he come back? Is he here for good? What about Harvard? Why is my contact name Cat Girl? Well, that’s fairly a good question to ask.

“Sehun–”

“Well–”

The both us start at the same time as Sehun let out an awkward laugh to cover up.

“Sehun, why am I Cat Girl?”

This my friend is the most important question.

Sehun stares at with surprise, then with amusement, “That is the first question you want to ask? Not about my life?”

I nodded. I suppose if he wants to talk about his life, he could. I didn’t want to be rude. What if I ask things that hurt him?

“Well, Chanyeol won’t give me your name but he said you liked cats so I just saved you as Cat Girl.”

Speaking of Chanyeol, I don’t know if I should beat him up when I ever see him in campus or act like he’s my saviour, being all grateful for mending mine and Sehun’s fate.

My nose twitched in annoyance. I don’t like how Chanyeol (and Surin) is trying to do.

“What do you save me as then?”

If I’m not wrong, there’s a playful hint in Sehun’s voice.

Suddenly, growing embarrassed under his gaze. Hyesoo, what is this behaviour? I’m not a lovestruck 16-year-old girl anymore who’s having her first love.

“It’s Blind date guy 8.” I mumbled, pressing my lips into a smile.

***

As expected, Sehun let out a laugh, feeling rather entertained with the girl in front of him. When did she became so amusing to him? The last time he remembered about her is that she was as quiet as a mouse. He would need to encourage her into conversations or else she would just sit there, blending into the wall like a wallflower.

He guesses that time really do change a person.

***

“This is the 8th time you went on a blind date? Not bad, Hyesoo.”

Now, I’m embarrassed at why I have to add the number 8 at the back.

“All is Surin and Chanyeol’s work! They were busy playing cupid for me!” I clarify. “Besides, none of them really impressed me. They were jerks.”

“It’s only just…” he paused for a moment, “I remembered you’re always quiet back in high school. You’ve changed a lot.”

I was stunned by his words for a while. I don’t know how to react to this. I don’t really know what to say. I know I’ve changed…a lot. But to hear it from him, it feels different. Like it feels like a good thing that a small part of myself swell from pride, another part feels scared. Am I still not the person he knows?

But what does he know about me anyway? We’re not that close like me, Surin and Chanyeol.                                                           

“You know, I always saw your name on our campus newsprint.”

Did he? That’s intriguing to me. Does that mean he’s been reading my writings?

“I didn’t think you would end up choosing language and literature,” he merely smiles at me, “I thought you would choose to be a teacher. Your good nature suits the job well.”

I sighed, pulling up a sad smile at him which makes him stares at me with shocked.

“Sehun, it’s a little disappointing.” I pointed out, letting out a small sigh, “I’ve told you a long time ago that I wanted to be a writer. It’s my dream.”

Sehun now, is embarrassed. His ears and cheeks went red. His lashes lower as he stares down at the menu. Well, I didn’t mean to make the situation awkward or embarrassing for the both of us. But I was feeling a little miffed and being a person who always speaks up, my feelings got acted up before the logics in my brain.

“Oh, sorry about that. I guess I forgot about it. That time, I was immature. I didn’t care about anything else besides…”

He suddenly stops and look back at me with such sad eyes. He smiled apologetically at me. It’s a sad smile.

Oh no.

 I feel guilty about guilt-trapping him earlier on. I was being irrational. Why do I feel like crying after seeing his eyes?

I’m hungry. Get me something to eat!

***

         After that delicious (and awkward) brunch, the both of us head towards the cinema. We’ve discussed in our chats that we would just have a typical couple date. Brunch and a movie. It seems like a perfectly fine date to me. Although that was the plan for the day, I wanted to do more after the movie. Perhaps walking around the Han River?

It’s a perfect day to walk around the park. I’m sure that Sehun doesn’t mind one bit of that plan because he’s that type of person to go with the flow. However, the both of us agree to stay away from amusement parks. We’re kind of not in a mood to go for crazy rides.

         The both of us decided to watch an action movie. When we decided to speak out on what to watch, the both of us were kind of relief because for one; he did not choose any horror/thriller movies and second; I did not choose any sad/depressing/romcom movies. (But what is wrong with romcom though? I’ll admit most of them are stupid and kind of rated, but it just makes you happy at the end.)

“Hyesoo,” he calls out suddenly, his height towering my small frame.

When did he get so tall though?

“Do you want some popcorns? I could buy them if you want.” His eyes looking at me so eagerly for a moment.

I blink my eyes, thinking whether I want popcorns or not.

“Usually, I don’t eat popcorns but I’m craving for them.” I beamed at him. I didn’t have a chance to eat something sweet just now during brunch because I was too full. Now that most of the food is digested, I’m really craving for something sweet.

“Right then, stay here. I’ll get some.” He turns right away to the queue. But I tug onto the sleeve of his jacket lightly, “I’ll pay for my share.”

As I’m taking out my purse to pay him the money for the popcorn, Sehun gently placed his hand over mine, stopping me from paying the money, his smile almost endearing.

“It’s my treat. The least I could do for you.”

Then, his lips tilt into a playful grin, “I’m buying the large one for both us.”

Sehun left me as he queues to buy popcorn for both of us. I could still the beating of my heart, hard against my chest as I wander to the moment a while ago before he went off to queue.

         During the movie, it’s hard not to notice how relatively close is Sehun. Gosh, I could see the slight freckles on his cheeks. There were many times where our fingers would slightly brush over each other when we’re grabbing the popcorns.

To the point where Sehun just let me have all the popcorns. Yeah, we didn’t think this through before buying two instead of one large box. I feel guilty since Sehun paid for it.

My fingertips felt like it’s been electrified or like it just touch something hot and it lingers on the skin. Unconsciously, I rubbed my fingertips against each other, hoping that it could rub off the sensation.

And, we just watch the movie, leaving our popcorn untouched.

***

         The movie did end well, I guess. There’s a bunch of commotion in the cinema hall though. There’s a guy keep on hooting on a few scenes, someone didn’t silence their phone, a couple was making out in front of us (which is hard to ignore!). Otherwise, the movie is pretty good. At least, our money wasn’t flushed down the drain.

I was feeling rather contented the fact that I had such a good date. Even if it’s just for one day. Even if after this, Sehun and I won’t be contacting with each other again. Even if we’re back to being strangers again.

I suggested out loud going for a walk around the Han River. But, Sehun said there’s an even better place and it is less crowded. I was fascinated by the idea of a pretty and peaceful place so I agreed to his idea.

And, I’m not disappointed by it.

The place was rather far from the city and Sehun had to drive around around 45 minutes to get there but the ride was worth.

It was mid-April and most of the flowers had bloomed. Most of the cherry blossoms had began to fall, their pink petals scattering around the ground and there were mostly families or old couples strolling around the park. I didn’t even realise that it’s Spring already and then something struck me. It’s actually Sehun’s birthday!

I turned around, too sudden that Sehun bumps into me as he staggers a few steps back, startled by me.

“I forgot it’s your birthday today!” Both of my hands gripping the back of my head. As if I am supposed to remember his birthday like a dutiful girlfriend except that I’m not.

His features then softened, his nose crinkled as he let out a laugh, “Is that it? I thought something happened. I was worried.”

I pursed my lips, “I could’ve gotten you a cake or a present at the mall!” I groaned.

“It’s fine, Hyesoo. I didn’t expect much but I had a great day.” He puts his hand on my arm, reassuring me with that smile again.

I’m desperate on trying to find a gift to him as we walked around the park and I’m looking around the stalls to see if they sell any gift-worthy items that it’s meaningful. But, most of the stalls are selling food.

Sehun was trailing behind me like a chick, occasionally taking pictures of the flowers. I wanted to enjoy the view, but the gift kept on gnawing at the back of my mind. I sighed, I guess I could just get his present another day. I didn’t want to waste his effort of driving us here then I’m not enjoying it because of my forgetful self.

Then, I saw that someone is selling polaroids. It’s like those you’ve seen in old movies or Home Alone where Kevin hold that camera taking pictures of the bad guys robbing the toy store. I had an idea for his gift.

I turned as I tug onto his sleeve (again), and point at the uncle taking pictures of an old couple.

“Sehun, let’s take a picture there.” I said excitedly, a sudden strong wind blowing through us, messing up my hair as I hold onto my skirt.

Sehun seems hesitate to agree to my idea. Chanyeol had mentioned already that Sehun isn’t really keen on the idea of taking his pictures taken. But, back in days, our classmates were all bent to take a picture with him (except me) during our graduation. I remembered Surin threw me into the situation. She suddenly called Sehun and then forcefully pushed me beside him. I was in a shock literally. But that photo serves a good memory because I was so stiff besides him and every time, I looked at it, I always find myself burst out of laughter.

I grab onto his arm, tugging him gently as he treaded slowly behind me. The background with the cherry blossoms trees blooming over the stream is a perfect opportunity to have our pictures taken. I wouldn’t want to miss it.

“Ahjusshi, we would like our pictures taken as well.” I gave a politely smile to the old guy.

Ahjusshi looked at me and Sehun back and forth, and gave us an endearing smile as if we’re his grandchildren.

“How many pictures?”

“Just one, please.”

The both of us stand rigidly besides each other, in fact, our pose is very formal in every way. Both hands in front of ourselves, standing straight tall. I almost want to laugh out loud.

Are we taking our passport photo?

“Young lad!” ahjusshi suddenly calls out, looking away from his camera.

“Put your arm around girlfriend! Don’t just stand there like a statue!”

His words send us both blushing in our cheeks. From the corner of my eyes, I could see the tip of Sehun’s ear going red.

Sehun didn’t say anything to retort back to him, clarifying we’re not a couple or I’m not his girlfriend. Instead he just wraps his arm around my shoulder and stand closer to me as I tried to focus at the camera and smile. I’m sure I looked horribly stiff. I’m sorry that I had to ruin your birthday present, Sehun with me looking very terribly ugly.

The camera ahjusshi gave us a satisfied smile, “Care for another one? Both of you looked very lovely.”

I turn my head up slightly to Sehun and saw him nodding his head.

“Try another pose, eh? Maybe around the waist? What’s wrong with youngsters these days?”

The ahjusshi just won’t stop suggesting poses to the both of us. It’s so awkward that I wanted to laugh. The scene of both of us trying to take a picture must be looking really ridiculous.

And on top of that, it seems that the ahjusshi’s loud voice has attracted the attention of the old couples sitting nearby as I overheard their conversation. It was like soft whispers that the wind carries.

“They’re so lovely, isn’t it, dear?”

The husband didn’t say anything but just grumbled. I assumed he agrees as well.

“It’s so cute that they colour coded their clothing with one another.”

“Don’t mind other people’s business…”

I didn’t even realise how our outfits were somehow similar to one another as I took a quick look at the both of us. Well, it is true. It’s a coincidence, isn’t it.

This time, I try to relax myself as I could feel Sehun’s warmth on my back. He didn’t actually touch onto my waist, just slightly hovering his hand over it. It’s lovely actually. I like that he doesn’t want me to feel uncomfortable. Simple gesture like that make my heart swells.

The ahjusshi gave a satisfied nod as the both of us heave a breath of relief. I didn’t know I was holding my breath the entire time and so was Sehun. I guess this whole photo taking mess made Sehun uncomfortable, so much for his gift.

We bid our goodbye to the ahjusshi as he hands over the films to us. The both of us hasten our pace, in case ahjusshi decides to comment on us again. The thought of it is really funny to me.

I just giddy seeing upon our pictures.

I chuckled quietly as I saw the first picture we took. We look incredibly awkward plus me looking terrible ugly.

“That was kind of unexpected.”

He stares at me with unreadable eyes.

I winced inwardly. I didn’t really consider over his feelings.

“I’m sorry that I dragged you. Just wanted to give you a birthday present.” Pressing my lips into a small smile, handing out the two pictures to him, “Choose one.”

Sehun stares at me for a moment. For a moment, the both of us went quiet with soft breeze wafting through us.

“Then give me something else.” He spoke gently, pulling me close enough that there’s just space in between, enough for us to hear our conversation.

“What is it?” I spoke softly, almost inaudible, just like whispers. 

“Be my girlfriend then.”

I didn't expect that I would wrote such a long chapter! I was feeling uninspired at the beginning. I was worried that I might abandon my writing again. :(

But anyways I have two books to recommend:

1. Field Notes on Love by Jennifer E. Smith 

2. One day in December by Josie Silver

Both of a vast difference in terms of their settings as well their characters. One makes you feel in cloud 9; the other one makes you sob like crazy in the end.

But both worth reading I would say.

See ya next time!